NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Divine Cervine]

There seems to be another option for issue #630. The source code shows that I have the three options of choice-1, choice-3, and choice-4, and they are:

This Green And Pleasant Land

The Issue

Good news, everyone! An unexpected rise in the water table has transformed a thousand acres of former desert into green and fertile and farming-ready land. As the government owns this land, it’s now up to you what you do with it.

The Debate

1. “Efficiency. Productivity. Produce. Those are the three F’s of the State Collective Farming Initiative,” says Director of Agricultural Cooperation @@RANDOMNAME@@, “and if you wonder if you failed to spot the third F, it’s all about the noble worker! Yes, grant this land to the farming collectives and we will turn it into a model of efficiency! No central government investment, no taxpayer’s money wasted, just cultivation as far as the eye can see! New jobs will be created, and proud and noble farmers will toil in the fields, singing joyous anthems to the Motherland!”


2. “No, no, no! It’s like a traffic light, if you want to be green you’ve got to put up a red light and make a green space, because you don’t want to be in the red on being green!” explains @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, her metaphors as messed up as her flower-entangled hair. “We need to turn this into a nature resort, that flora and fauna can make their home!”


3. “Excuse me, is anyone going to ask why this has happened?” asks party-pooping scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@. “We can’t make use of this land till we understand what happened. I suggest establishing a research station here, and getting a better understanding of the ecological changes that led to this fertile land emerging.”

Whereas these are the four options listed for issue #630:

#630: This Green And Pleasant Land [Nova Bulgarija; ed:Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue
Good news, everyone! An unexpected rise in the water table has transformed a thousand acres of former desert into green and fertile and farming-ready land. As the government owns this land, it’s now up to you what you do with it.

The Debate
1. “Efficiency. Productivity. Produce. Those are the three F’s of New Plus Agro Cycles(tm),” says CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@, “and if you wonder if you failed to spot the third F, it’s all about the customer! Yes, sell us this land and we will turn it into a model of efficiency! No government investment, no taxpayer’s money wasted, just cultivation as far as the eye can see! New jobs will be created, and investors will be attracted. Just sign here!”

2. “Why would you consider that?” yells villager @@RANDOMNAME@@ waving a pitchfork with one hand, and a little red book with the other. “You want to just GIVE IT AWAY to these rich fat cats, so they can get even richer? No! This land should be owned by the state, but worked by a commune of local farmers, with a small plot of land for each farmer! This way is fair for everyone.”

3. “No, no, no! It’s like a traffic light, if you want to be green you’ve got to put up a red light and make a green space, because you don’t want to be in the red on being green!” explains @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, her metaphors as messed up as her flower-entangled hair. “We need to turn this into a nature resort, that flora and fauna can make their home!”

4. “Excuse me, is anyone going to ask why this has happened?” asks party-pooping scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@. “We can’t make use of this land till we understand what happened. I suggest establishing a research station here, and getting a better understanding of the ecological changes that led to this fertile land emerging.”

[Trotterdam]

I have the three options of choice-1, choice-3, and choice-4,

The internal code starts counting from 0, so choice-1, choice-3, and choice-4 are actually what would get displayed as options 2, 4, and 5 if you saw all options on the frontend.

So basically, the choices on this option are:
1. farm it, in tune with existing capitalist policies [capitalist nations only]
2. farm it, in tune with existing communist policies [communist nations only]
3. farm it, switching to communist policies [capitalist nations only]
4. make it a nature resort
5. send scientists to research it

[Pencil Sharpeners]

The Issue

When a senior government official was caught on camera groping an intern, your press liaison downplayed the incident by calling it an “alternative handshake” at a subsequent press conference. While the case in question was settled swiftly and discreetly, members of the professional commentariat are engaging in a loud brawl over the government’s flexible approach to facts.

The Debate

1. “This is dangerous,” argues Penny Archer, a journalist at the Pencilpolis Post, struggling to cope with mixed feelings of moral outrage and giddy excitement. “Granted, politics has always been about playing the facts a bit, but now you’re not even trying to hide it. This deliberate distortion of truth is corrupting public discourse, and will surely undermine the very foundation of our society if not kept in check. Government must be bound by law to always speak the truth, and you should set up an independent public body tasked with enforcing the standards we deserve.”

2. “Typical slave morality,” sniggers Yoshi Gennaro, dropout philosophy student and manager of operations at an alt-nazi meme factory. “Instead of mindlessly enforcing the ‘truth’ of weaklings and half-men, this is a perfect opportunity for an overhaul and bringing about the complete transvaluation of all values. The elevation of feebleness has been going on for too long; it’s about time you started making and enforcing your own truths!”

3. “The notion of any ‘one’ truth is inherently oppressive,” states Jean-Paul Leotard, a postmodernist literary critic, mostly known for his colorful scarves. “Fact is, there are only our own personal interpretations, and the world is really only the resulting diversity of particular truths. You shouldn’t get to say what’s right or wrong! There’s your policy, Leader, quit shoving ‘objective’ dogma down our throats and let everyone believe what they want about stuff.”

Issue by The Prosaic Union of Gnejs

Edited by Gnejs

[Trotterdam]

#704 It's Not Lying, It's Post-Truth

The Issue

When a senior government official was caught on camera groping an intern, your press liaison downplayed the incident by calling it an "alternative handshake" at a subsequent press conference. While the case in question was settled swiftly and discreetly, members of the professional commentariat are engaging in a loud brawl over the government's flexible approach to facts.

The Debate

1. "This is dangerous," argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, a journalist at the @@CAPITAL@@ Post, struggling to cope with mixed feelings of moral outrage and giddy excitement. "Granted, politics has always been about playing the facts a bit, but now you're not even trying to hide it. This deliberate distortion of truth is corrupting public discourse, and will surely undermine the very foundation of our society if not kept in check. Government must be bound by law to always speak the truth, and you should set up an independent public body tasked with enforcing the standards we deserve."

2. "Typical slave morality," sniggers @@RANDOMNAME@@, dropout philosophy student and manager of operations at an alt-nazi meme factory. "Instead of mindlessly enforcing the 'truth' of weaklings and half-men, this is a perfect opportunity for an overhaul and bringing about the complete transvaluation of all values. The elevation of feebleness has been going on for too long; it's about time you started making and enforcing your own truths!"

3. "The notion of any 'one' truth is inherently oppressive," states Jean-Paul Leotard, a postmodernist literary critic, mostly known for his colorful scarves. "Fact is, there are only our own personal interpretations, and the world is really only the resulting diversity of particular truths. You shouldn't get to say what's right or wrong! There's your policy, @@LEADER@@, quit shoving 'objective' dogma down our throats and let everyone believe what they want about stuff."

Issue by Gnejs
Edited by Gnejs

The name in option 3 is not random.

[Trotterdam]

#703 Divine Decoration

The Issue

A rather dramatic demonstration of burning holy texts of @@FAITH@@ was ended when one of the protesters accidentally lit himself on fire. Amongst anguished screams one could clearly hear a call to remove all religious imagery from government buildings; at least according to his compatriots.

The Debate

1. "This demonstration ended horribly, but it brings up an important point," muses @@RANDOMNAME@@, popular secular personality and author of God May Love You, But Everyone Else Thinks You Suck. "We need to understand that @@NAME@@ has religious minorities who might be offended by having a state religion foisted upon them. Do as that man said: remove all religious imagery from government buildings. After all, it's only fair."

2. "We need a show of good faith to prevent more protests like this last one," exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a devout yet pragmatic believer of @@FAITH@@, as @@HE/SHE@@ strides into your office with a 'Paint the Mutha Purple' poster. "Allowing other religions to erect small displays of their faith in public buildings would make us look like a far more enlightened and tolerant people." @@HE/SHE@@ looks at the poster in @@HIS/HER@@ hand. "You could let the Violetists refurbish our town hall, for example."

3. "That protester got what was coming to him," fumes violent fundamentalist @@RANDOMNAME@@, while storming towards your desk, causing a sacred religious item to fall off a shelf and break. "It is a sign that we should not be tolerating these false religions that mislead their followers! Why have we not done anything about this yet? I say we round up all these heathens that refuse to accept the truth and put them to the torch; then they'll finally meet their TRUE maker!"

Issue by Merconitonitopia
Edited by Drasnia and Gnejs

[Drasnia]

#703 Divine Decoration

The Issue

A rather dramatic demonstration of burning holy texts of @@FAITH@@ was ended when one of the protesters accidentally lit himself on fire. Amongst anguished screams one could clearly hear a call to remove all religious imagery from government buildings; at least according to his compatriots.

The Debate

1. "This demonstration ended horribly, but it brings up an important point," muses @@RANDOMNAME@@, popular secular personality and author of God May Love You, But Everyone Else Thinks You Suck. "We need to understand that @@NAME@@ has religious minorities who might be offended by having a state religion foisted upon them. Do as that man said: remove all religious imagery from government buildings. After all, it's only fair."

2. "We need a show of good faith to prevent more protests like this last one," exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a devout yet pragmatic believer of @@FAITH@@, as @@HE/SHE@@ strides into your office with a 'Paint the Mutha Purple' poster. "Allowing other religions to erect small displays of their faith in public buildings would make us look like a far more enlightened and tolerant people." @@HE/SHE@@ looks at the poster in @@HIS/HER@@ hand. "You could let the Violetists refurbish our town hall, for example."

3. "That protester got what was coming to him," fumes violent fundamentalist @@RANDOMNAME@@, while storming towards your desk, causing a sacred religious item to fall off a shelf and break. "It is a sign that we should not be tolerating these false religions that mislead their followers! Why have we not done anything about this yet? I say we round up all these heathens that refuse to accept the truth and put them to the torch; then they'll finally meet their TRUE maker!"

Issue by Merconitonitopia
Edited by Drasnia and Gnejs

I had been wondering when they'd publish this. I finished it sometime back in November I think. Thanks Trott!

[Shinuyama]

#700 The Widow Raven

The Issue

Once upon a midnight dreary, while you pondered, weak and weary; over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten stately lore, while you nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at your office door. “Tis some visitor,” you muttered, “tapping at my office door, only this and nothing more.”

The Debate

1. Opening the door there’s darkness, no details in the hallway’s starkness. Eventually you can discern the black-veiled widowed Raven Lenore. “Oh, what tragedy has happened, my husband dead, my heart blackened! The estate tax—unimagined, though he was rich, I am poor. Widows should be spared these taxes; fairness then you could restore. Secure justice evermore!”
   
2. As you settle back to working, you find another guest lurking. Quoth your Finance Minister: “You mustn’t listen to Lenore! She’s spoken incorrectly, we’d be insolvent most directly! But I’ve thought most objectively, a new tax can make us soar. Taxing funerals will raise incomes, and wakes are such a bore. Fund revenue, evermore!”
   
3. Just when you think there’s no more moaning, your Welfare Advisor is droning, “It’s only fair that this tax stay, but we still can help Lenore. Since our state is so big-hearted, let’s pay families of the departed. Cash can’t end the pain death’s started, but helps what trouble’s in store. This will bring equality back to our nation’s very core. End poverty, evermore!”
   
4. “This sounds like POETRY!” screams your Minister of Anti-Culture while storming into your office. “All these rhymers must be executed immediately. And don’t forget after they die who’ll get their property: the state. Why, just think of all the jobs killing would-be poets would crea— er, jobs it would make.”

^{Issue by Ransium and Zwangzug
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive}

[Heliosphere]

The Issue

Over the last two months, hospitals in Heliosphere have been reporting a consistently increasing number of check-ins related to food contamination, which has fueled a debate among Heliosphereans regarding government regulations on food safety.

The Debate

1. “The rise in food poisoning is disturbing, and entirely avoidable,” asserts the Minister of Food Safety, Beavis Burton, who is also the author of the popular sightseeing guide 1001 Lavatories To See Before You Die. “Better regulation and mandatory training of anyone serving food to the public would ensure a sharp decline in food poisoning cases.” Turning slightly green, he sprints from the room.

2. “You’re out of your mind if you’re even considering this,” asserts Francine Hendrikson, owner of the small town restaurant, The Heliospherean Gourmet. “Millions of people eat in restaurants every day, and normal people don’t have any problems! It’s just the wimps who are blowing this whole ‘food poisoning’ and ‘lack of food safety’ thing way out of proportion. Over-sterilisation of our environment weakens our immune systems. You should get rid of any ideas of food standards regulation, and we’ll all be healthier for it!”

3. “Don’t you know what’s in those restaurants? Germs!” exclaims Konrad Parker, as he wipes his hands repeatedly with a wet-wipe. “Germs that get into your body, into your brain, and make you sick. Chefs cough in our food and serve it to us. Believe me, I know what goes on. I boil all my food for thirty minutes. It kills the germs, keeps me safe. And Leader, if you want to protect Heliosphereans, you’ll insist restaurants do the same.”

Issue by The Federation of Orgrua

Edited by The Free Joy State

[Rejistania]

Can we post here new LASTNAMEs? In issue #97, I got Merkel: “Oh come now,” says Kristy Merkel, a nearby suburbanite. “There’s no need to bring all the pollution into the cities! These dumps can get a whole lot bigger you know. Just keep piling the rubbish on and we can use them as tourist attractions or something. People will flock to see how high they can climb our artificial mountains! If we run out of space, just knock down a few forests. No one will notice.”

[Trotterdam]

By request, #031 has a new option for communist nations.

2. "Look, I know your nation doesn’t much like capitalists, but have you been to the beach lately? It’s disgusting," says company spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@. "There's litter, there's teenagers smoking, and there are people enjoying themselves without paying for it. Let the private sector in on this, and @@NAME@@'s beaches will be the talk of the region! Yes, it means ending communism, but isn't this the noblest of reasons to do so?"

The old anti-private-enterprise option has been bumped to number 3.

[Australian rePublic]

A Walk In The Park

The Issue

The Kangaroo Forest is the largest National Park in Australian Republic, but it is rarely visited by Australians or tourists. Various lobbyists have taken to hassling you about the continued use and purpose of this land.

The Debate

“Don’t let this poll deceive you, people these days actually yearn for the outdoors,” opines out-of-touch park ranger, Whoopi Vangelis. “We just need to totally revamp this park and all the rest of our national forests, campsites, and visitor centers while we’re at it. We’ll start by adding the necessities like luxury cabins, souvenirs, and trees you can drive through! By the time we’re through, people who visit our parks will be able to tell the difference between a Brancalandian noir cedar and a Australian black cedar!”

Accept

“What? And waste all that valuable raw material?” barks your Minister of Land Development, Coraline Collins. “I’m sure that there are plenty of nations out there that would kill to use our wood to build something. And once the wood is gone, we dig for gold! I just know it’s there somewhere beneath all that tree-covered wasteland. Never mind all that environmental hoopla about polluted water tables, I’m sure you could start giving out filters to the public and they’ll all be fine.”

Accept

“I have an... alternative solution,” whispers your Minister of Alternative Solutions, Ayn Contra. “We could use the park to stage international training operations for our allies. I’m sure Marche Blanc would love our aid in developing “defensive strategies” against Marche Noir, and I hear they are willing to pay big Dollarydoos for the help. We can even keep the park open to the public to show that nothing shady or nefarious is going on... That’s a win-win-win in my book!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Democratic Galactic Republic of United States of the Universe

Edited by Wyethalania

[Tinhampton]

A Walk In The Park

The Issue

The Kangaroo Forest is the largest National Park in Australian Republic, but it is rarely visited by Australians or tourists. Various lobbyists have taken to hassling you about the continued use and purpose of this land.

The Debate

“Don’t let this poll deceive you, people these days actually yearn for the outdoors,” opines out-of-touch park ranger, Whoopi Vangelis. “We just need to totally revamp this park and all the rest of our national forests, campsites, and visitor centers while we’re at it. We’ll start by adding the necessities like luxury cabins, souvenirs, and trees you can drive through! By the time we’re through, people who visit our parks will be able to tell the difference between a Brancalandian noir cedar and a Australian black cedar!”

Accept

“What? And waste all that valuable raw material?” barks your Minister of Land Development, Coraline Collins. “I’m sure that there are plenty of nations out there that would kill to use our wood to build something. And once the wood is gone, we dig for gold! I just know it’s there somewhere beneath all that tree-covered wasteland. Never mind all that environmental hoopla about polluted water tables, I’m sure you could start giving out filters to the public and they’ll all be fine.”

Accept

“I have an... alternative solution,” whispers your Minister of Alternative Solutions, Ayn Contra. “We could use the park to stage international training operations for our allies. I’m sure Marche Blanc would love our aid in developing “defensive strategies” against Marche Noir, and I hear they are willing to pay big Dollarydoos for the help. We can even keep the park open to the public to show that nothing shady or nefarious is going on... That’s a win-win-win in my book!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Democratic Galactic Republic of United States of the Universe

Edited by Wyethalania

Now let's compare it to my version...

• Kangaroo Forest --> @@ANIMAL@@ Forest
• Australians --> @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@
• Whoopi Vangelis --> @@RANDOMNAME@@ (might be @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, I got Tabitha McGuffin)
• a Australian black cedar --> a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ black cedar
• Coraline Collins --> @@RANDOMNAME@@ (might be @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, I got Brigitta Starkey)
• Ayn Contra is a fixed name
• Dollarydoos --> @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@

[Iguanarctica]

The Issue

Illegal sporting events have been popping up all around the country. As quickly as they appear, they vanish again, always staying one step ahead of the authorities, leaving nothing behind but an abandoned football and the sound of rapidly receding footsteps. A diverse group of concerned citizens has come to you to discuss the impact of anti-sport legislation.

The Debate

1. “You made a mistake is all,” sighs Steffan Green, the former President of the Iguanarctica Iguanas Ice-Rugby team, as he pats you on the back with his bearlike hand. “You listened to the wrong people and created a big mess. We need proper sports in Iguanarctica with regulatory bodies, advertising revenues, and star players people can look up to. People are willing to pay good money to see quality sports. We should be lining our pockets with that good money. You, me, and my colleagues here. Let’s fix this.”

3. “Don’t let these fat cats run our sports. Give me an ‘N’, give me an ‘O’! What do you have? NO!” cries former cheerleader Asok Mullins while dancing, twirling and exuberantly spinning his pom-poms so quickly that you feel dizzy just from watching. “Pro-sports are nothing but corrupt officials and doped up athletes. We should have government-funded amateur sports only. That way we can have fitness and fun without all the awful corruption and competition. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game! Go Iguanarcticans! Woo!”

5. “There is nothing wrong with exercise,” barks Brigadier General Falala Tarkin, patting her expansive stomach. “Exercise turned me into the fine figure of a woman that I am today. But that does not mean we ought to reverse the sport ban, and let Iguanarcticans become mollified ball-tossers. Better they learn to throw a grenade. Just give the Army some funding, and we will give mandatory physical training to every man, woman and child. Turn Iguanarcticans into lethal weapons, addicted to the thrill of the fight. Just give the word and every single Iguanarctican will drop and give me twenty.”

6. “These illegal events are the real problem,” bemoans Ken Chan, Iguanarctica’s current Cribbage, Monopoly and Backgammon champion. “There is a national Parcheesi competition coming up. It would be nice if people were watching it, instead of sneaking around trying to watch illegal Iguanaball games. We really need a special task force to show these lawbreaking athletes and sports fans that the law is sacred.”

Issue by Sleep

Edited by The Free Joy State

[Australian rePublic]

The Germ Of An Idea

The Issue

Over the last two months, hospitals in Australian Republic have been reporting a consistently increasing number of check-ins related to food contamination, which has fueled a debate among Australians regarding government regulations on food safety.

The Debate

“The rise in food poisoning is disturbing, and entirely avoidable,” asserts the Minister of Food Safety, Olivia Dawson, who is also the author of the popular sightseeing guide 1001 Lavatories To See Before You Die. “Better regulation and mandatory training of anyone serving food to the public would ensure a sharp decline in food poisoning cases.” Turning slightly green, she sprints from the room.

Accept

“You’re out of your mind if you’re even considering this,” asserts William Kwan, owner of the small town restaurant, The Australian Gourmet. “Millions of people eat in restaurants every day, and normal people don’t have any problems! It’s just the wimps who are blowing this whole ‘food poisoning’ and ‘lack of food safety’ thing way out of proportion. Over-sterilisation of our environment weakens our immune systems. You should get rid of any ideas of food standards regulation, and we’ll all be healthier for it!”

Accept

“Don’t you know what’s in those restaurants? Germs!” exclaims Caesar Rubin, as he wipes his hands repeatedly with a wet-wipe. “Germs that get into your body, into your brain, and make you sick. Chefs cough in our food and serve it to us. Believe me, I know what goes on. I boil all my food for thirty minutes. It kills the germs, keeps me safe. And Steven Jot, if you want to protect Australians, you’ll insist restaurants do the same.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Federation of Orgrua
Edited by The Free Joy State

[North Isseggggnignigsegigisegggg Islands]

Issue 708: "How @@LEADER@@ Learned To Start Worrying And Fear Bio-Weapons"

The Issue

@@NAME@@’s top scientists have accidentally stumbled upon a new ultra-potent bio-weapon while trying to grow more four-leafed clovers. In response, you’ve called a meeting in your war room to decide what shall be done with the new discovery.
The Debate

Option 1. “Might makes right,” states General Jill Schultz [@@RANDOMNAME@@ or @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@]. “With so many nations with nuclear weapons, how can we stay safe? I say we use this discovery as a doomsday device! If any other nation tries to nuke us, we activate it! Besides, it’ll be a lot cheaper to develop this rather than an entire tactical nuclear counter-measure arsenal. This way, we’ll reach a state of mutually assured destruction with other nations on the cheap.”

Option 2. “Idiotic, short-sighted drivel!” screams Neil Baker [@@RANDOMNAME@@ or @@RANDOMMALENAME@@], your Minister of Health. “This disease has the potential to spread across the entire world in days, and you’d just keep it sitting around? We cannot allow this virus to ever see the light of day. You must quarantine the entire facility and destroy this virus and any research related to it. For the safety of - ack!” He is interrupted by the General shoving him from his seat.
[Effect]Flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug.

Option 3. “There’s no fighting in here, this a war room!” shouts Dr. Oddfoot, while rolling up to you in his wheelchair. “Though I would love to develop this weapon fuhrer... erm, further, I must advise against it. The deployment of such a bio-weapon would have unpredictable, albeit entertaining, consequences. However, we can’t simply ignore this discovery; it will be only a matter of time until another nation discovers this weapon. We must research an antidote. We’ll need money and a few brave, ill-informed test subjects, but it’ll be well worth it to prevent an enemy strike!”

Issue by The United Socialist States of Birginia

Edited by Ransium

[Blargoblarg]

Issue 709: Armed And Legging It

The Issue

Walking down the corridors of power at your usual brisk pace, you’re caught a little off guard when one of your accompanying clerks suddenly crumples to the ground mid-stride, his left lower leg detaching from the rest of him. To your relief, the dismembered member of staff has in fact lost a prosthetic limb rather than an organic one. As you help him up, he explains that his prosthetic is a cheap import of low quality: he’d love a better one, but high quality models are far and few between.

The Debate

1. “Many people just can’t move forward in our nation because of limb loss,” says your assistant, ambling carefully. “My colleagues and I believe that we - the government - should use our resources and staff to research new designs and help these people live their lives to the fullest.”

2. “There’s another way to reach out to the limbless,” says Sarah Jekyll, a volunteer from the charitable Open Hands Society. “3D-printed limbs can be produced for anyone, by anyone. If one wears out or becomes outdated, it can be tossed, and a new one printed. Along with that, citizens can work together to design limbs that work for them. Why not send some money to the non-profit foundations that are developing these things? You’ll be helping not only here in Blargoblarg, but also the disabled of third world nations that the charities serve.”

3. “You can’t incorporate the artificial into the natural without diminishing your connection to the living world of spirits,” pipes up Alice Quagmire, Priestess of the Earth Divinities, whose presence in your entourage is even more unexpected than that of the previous speaker. “If you are missing a limb, then accept that The Mother loves you for who you are and that fate chose that destiny for you. Emperor Keulan, if you ban prostheses, you’ll teach self-reliance and self-love. Meditation and thankful prayer will lift broken souls, even if broken bodies must stay earthbound. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to visit my podiatrist.”

Issue by The Imperium And Jazz Band of Helaw

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

Not sure if any of the names are random or not.

[North Americorp]

Issue 709: Armed And Legging It

Bah. An another issue that automatically assumes that handicapped should be coddled. Where's the option to kick him on the street and let him die in a ditch?

(Anyway, there's at least four options for that issue. The second one is missing, though I didn't make a note of it.)

[Mironus]

Options 2 and 4 for 707 (Eye of the Tiger):

2. “May I be frank, Dear Deus?” the former Manager of the Glorious People’s Stadium of Suno, more recently joyously-employed cleaning the toilets of Suno Municipal Bus Terminal, shuffles forward. “Our supreme athletes were unbeaten. Mother Mironus’s performance in the annual flying squirrelball championship was the glory of Forest. It is our patriotic duty to the Motherland to bring back sport and drug...train athletes to outperform everyone, at all costs.”

4. “Glorious Leader, remember why you banned these sports.” cries Georgina Hackett, the former secretary for the former People’s National Ice-Rugby Team, gnawing her fingernails feverishly. “The drugs. The ceaseless grudge between The Glorious People’s Stilt Hockey Team and The People’s Glorious Stilt Hockey Team. All that shaving foam...” Rocking slightly, she stares into space for a split second. “Oh yes. You should fund sport but only amateur, non-competitive sports. Then, people can get fit without losing their...their minds.” She crumples into a heap, sobbing and hugging her knees.

These hidden options have honestly become so common that I'm thinking of giving up. Been picking way too many wrong options lately. Because it's next to impossible to keep notes when the option numbers keep changing every time you see the issue.

[Shinuyama]

#073: @@NAME@@ - Without Cars, Going Nowhere Fast has four options now. The old first options is now the second option. Haven't actually seen the new first option, but that's from the source.

[Lord Dominator]

Issue 709: Armed And Legging It

Bah. An another issue that automatically assumes that handicapped should be coddled. Where's the option to kick him on the street and let him die in a ditch?

(Anyway, there's at least four options for that issue. The second one is missing, though I didn't make a note of it.)

The last one on the list there is asking you to ban prostheses...

[North Americorp]

The last one on the list there is asking you to ban prostheses...

Yes, but with some hippy nonsense about spirits and other claptrap mixed in. You know what our nation would do with cripples? Televised caged death-matches.

When was the last time that we got any issue where you can line up people against the wall and have them shot? Not within the last two hundred, that's for sure. I miss the good old days.

[Ransium]

When was the last time that we got any issue where you can line up people against the wall and have them shot? Not within the last two hundred, that's for sure. I miss the good old days.

Um... 9?

#700 The Widow Raven

...

“This sounds like POETRY!” screams your Minister of Anti-Culture while storming into your office. “All these rhymers must be executed immediately. And don’t forget after they die who’ll get their property: the state. Why, just think of all the jobs killing would-be poets would crea— er, jobs it would make.”

[Lord Dominator]

The Issue

Over the last two months, hospitals in Heliosphere have been reporting a consistently increasing number of check-ins related to food contamination, which has fueled a debate among Heliosphereans regarding government regulations on food safety.

The Debate

1. “The rise in food poisoning is disturbing, and entirely avoidable,” asserts the Minister of Food Safety, Beavis Burton, who is also the author of the popular sightseeing guide 1001 Lavatories To See Before You Die. “Better regulation and mandatory training of anyone serving food to the public would ensure a sharp decline in food poisoning cases.” Turning slightly green, he sprints from the room.

2. “You’re out of your mind if you’re even considering this,” asserts Francine Hendrikson, owner of the small town restaurant, The Heliospherean Gourmet. “Millions of people eat in restaurants every day, and normal people don’t have any problems! It’s just the wimps who are blowing this whole ‘food poisoning’ and ‘lack of food safety’ thing way out of proportion. Over-sterilisation of our environment weakens our immune systems. You should get rid of any ideas of food standards regulation, and we’ll all be healthier for it!”

3. “Don’t you know what’s in those restaurants? Germs!” exclaims Konrad Parker, as he wipes his hands repeatedly with a wet-wipe. “Germs that get into your body, into your brain, and make you sick. Chefs cough in our food and serve it to us. Believe me, I know what goes on. I boil all my food for thirty minutes. It kills the germs, keeps me safe. And Leader, if you want to protect Heliosphereans, you’ll insist restaurants do the same.”

Issue by The Federation of Orgrua

Edited by The Free Joy State

This option is pretty close to kill people one, though it's more of a "we don't care if they die/let them die."

[Bolivar Fuerte]

Is Issue #548 “Appointment Of A Science Advisor” supposed to have only three (out of its four in total) options offered under specific circumstances?
My nation just got it without option 548.2. (I apologize in advance if this has been asked before, my relevant search didn't come up with anything.)

[Helaw]

Is Issue #548 “Appointment Of A Science Advisor” supposed to have only three (out of its four in total) options offered under specific circumstances?
My nation just got it without option 548.2. (I apologize in advance if this has been asked before, my relevant search didn't come up with anything.)

Seeing as the second option references corporate donors and partnering with industry, it is logical for it to only be available to capitalist nations.