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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23652
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:48 am

Tinhampton wrote:Issue #573 is now logged as being edited by both NoQ and A Humanist Science. I have but this to say: "Holy crap... AHS is an editor now?"


That was eagle-eyed of you.

He was invited to the team, and did a trial edit, but RL got in the way of him taking it up full time. NoQ finished the edit, but it was agreed he'd retain credit for his work.

AHS is sadly not currently on the editing team, but we hope he'll come join us when he's ready.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Noahs Second Country
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 2047
Founded: Aug 31, 2016
Anarchy

Postby Noahs Second Country » Sat Dec 17, 2016 12:09 pm

643: No small wonder

The Issue

With economic growth skyrocketing and NoahS SeconD CountrY’s prosperity rising, prominent business leaders have come to you with proposals to construct a national wonder as a symbol of these successes.

The Debate

“To mark this golden age,” declares Leo Tallstoy, CEO of Sky High Company, sitting upright with high hopes, “I suggest we build the tallest building in Europeia! Not only can we finally snatch that tallest building record from the United Federation, but it will break whatever doubts our citizens have about NoahS SeconD CountrY’s future! It will boost the economy and will be a good source of morale and patriotism. When aiming high, nothing’s worth the sky!”

Accept

“Why not aim just slightly higher?” asks Anais Skywalker, CEO of Colossal Works Industries, while putting an arm around your shoulder and pointing to a hole in your ceiling you hadn’t noticed previously. “Instead of the conventional skyscraper, we could build a space elevator? We have enough money, resources, and initiative to make sure our Holy Second Best Zombies is the first to develop one! We’ll need to overcome some tricky technical challenges, but such is the burden of the true pioneer! It’ll benefit us in space exploration, and that will serve to strengthen the legacy of our golden age!”

Accept

“Have you ever heard of the saying ‘too tall to fall?’” inquires Hugh Mongo, another CEO of a large construction company, who barely fits through your doorway. “Or was it ‘too big to fail?’ Anyway, I think that the answer to mark NoahS SeconD CountrY’s successes is not with something tall, but great. And by great, I mean wide, like a ziggurat or a pyramid. It’s waaay safer than some thousand-story death trap, but it will last for thousands of years without any expensive maintenance. How’s that for a fair bargain?”

Accept

“Psh,” scoffs Marleen Dodinas, one of your more casual advisers, as she rolls her eyes. “It’s true that NoahS SeconD CountrY has reached its zenith, but there is such a thing as modesty. In fact, we could very well do with regulations on the tall and big buildings we already have instead. They are symbols of arrogance, acrophobia... and suggestive imagery. Have you ever seen what the second best kind of capital city Building resembles from a certain angle?”

Accept

“What’s with NoahS SeconD CountrY’s obsession with making things all big and futuristic? Compensating for something?” mocks Kendall Rikkard, a gaudy Marche Norian artist-architect. “In Marche Noir we pride ourselves on our spectacular construction projects, some of which are still standing after a thousand years. Our buildings have an ageless and classical beauty to them as opposed to your modern monstrosities. Take a look at our majestic Maxmillia Familia. Granted it’s been under construction for a hundred years, but it’s a far sight prettier than anything proposed here. Take a lesson from the pros, people.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Federation of Henuld

Edited by Nation of Quebec
Westinor wrote:Who knew the face of Big Farma could be the greatest hero of the Cards Proleteriat?
Honeydewistania wrote:Such spunk and arrogance that he welcomes the brigade of hatred!
Orcuo wrote:The plan was foolproof! Unfortunately, I didn’t make it Noah-proof.
WeKnow wrote:I am not a fan of his in the slightest.
Benevolent 0 wrote:You can't seem to ever portray yourself straight.
Bormiar wrote: reckless and greedy, closer to a character issue than something to be rewarded.
Second Best™ - 7x Issues Author, 7x SC Author, Editor, Ex-Minister of Cards of the North Pacific

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Noahs Second Country
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 2047
Founded: Aug 31, 2016
Anarchy

Postby Noahs Second Country » Sat Dec 17, 2016 9:47 pm

649: Made in Maxtopia

The Issue

When ultra-cheap underwear imports from Maxtopia drove a local factory into bankruptcy, the newly unemployed factory workers surrounded you during a press conference to demand you protect local manufacturing by any means necessary.

The Debate

“Save our jobs!” begs a recently unemployed worker, Aaron Ward, who seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. “I put years of my own sweat into that factory textile job, figuratively and literally. It’s the only work I know. Please, Leader, implement tariffs or subsides to keep alive the domestic clothing industry. Otherwise we’ll be thrown out on our asses, forced to buy shoddy Maxtopian undergarments.”

Accept

“We have the freedom to know what we are buying!” exclaims an unusually patriotic consumer advocate, while barging into the crowd of workers and ferociously waving a second best flag. “When I buy me a new pair of underpants, I wanna see that ‘Made In NoahS SeconD CountrY’ tag to let me know I am getting the best of all possible underpants. Absolutely everything for sale should say where it came from. That way we’ll know to buy local, and this problem will probably fix itself.”

Accept

“Why have Maxtopian imports at all?” rhetorically asks Gretel Chen, who runs the local store where you used the toilet without buying anything the other day. “Or, for that matter, from anywhere? We’ve been dependent on foreign imports for way too long. NoahS SeconD CountrY needs to strive to be an economically and ecologically self-sufficient nation, where everything is made by our fellow citizens. Other countries might be able to make things cheaper, but no one works with as much pride as us second best kind of people!”

Accept

“Wait!” interrupts Orson Mendez, the owner of NoahS SeconD CountrY’s largest department store, Humongo-Mart. “Okay, sure, maybe ‘Made In Maxtopia’ means slightly lower quality, but Maxtopian manufacturing is so very cheap! Sure, I had to replace my Maxtopian toaster three times last year because of a few teeny-tiny explosions, but that still cost me less than buying one locally-manufactured toaster! Have some common sense, Leader, and allow free trade.”

Accept

“There’s an easier way to appease the masses,” whispers your Minister of Foreign Trade, Hermione Jefferson, while handing you the latest briefs. “Let’s keep importing things from other nations, but we can pretend that everything was made in NoahS SeconD CountrY. Put flag stickers on every conceivable product, tell the people that we’re self-sufficient, and beef up the security at all ports. Then bam: the customers are happy, the department stores are happy, and our economy can keep importing essential resources. And of course anyone that mentions our hypocrisy aloud will be... punished.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Technocratic State of Siarki

Edited by Lenyo
Westinor wrote:Who knew the face of Big Farma could be the greatest hero of the Cards Proleteriat?
Honeydewistania wrote:Such spunk and arrogance that he welcomes the brigade of hatred!
Orcuo wrote:The plan was foolproof! Unfortunately, I didn’t make it Noah-proof.
WeKnow wrote:I am not a fan of his in the slightest.
Benevolent 0 wrote:You can't seem to ever portray yourself straight.
Bormiar wrote: reckless and greedy, closer to a character issue than something to be rewarded.
Second Best™ - 7x Issues Author, 7x SC Author, Editor, Ex-Minister of Cards of the North Pacific

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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 27180
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Left-Leaning College State

650-Political Hacks

Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:57 pm

Hacktivist group KwikiLeaks revealed the existence of the so-called Trolls From Canberra, a government-sponsored organization designed to spread pro-Australian Republic propaganda throughout the internet. The group has recently been caught instigating a separatist movement in Brancaland, and you’ve personally been made aware that they were responsible for unleashing the dreaded DEAT virus in Marche Noir. Concerned “netizens” are asking you whether this group is acting beyond its mandate.

The Debate

“We should be giving these heroes a medal, not condemning them!” exclaims your paranoid Propaganda Minister while checking the room for bugs. “It’s obvious that Marche Noir and Brancaland were plotting attacks! Why else would Brancaland be hiking maple syrup prices? What we need is more funding and manpower to continue the fine work of my ministry. With a few keystrokes and the click of a mouse, we can destabilize our enemies... or at least distract them from more pressing matters!”

Accept

“Spreading propaganda was one thing, attacks on sovereign nations is another,” rebuffs Chuck Pence, the Brancalandian Ambassador, seen dressed in the traditional Brancalandian parka. “Thanks to these Australian sponsored cyber-terrorists, the province of Quaybeck is launching a violent separatist movement! These hackers are an international menace, and you must do something aboot it! Shut these trolls down and extradite them. Or you’ll be sorry!”

Accept

“Are you going to let these foreigners walk all over us?” asks your Interior Minister who simply wants this issue to be dealt with before tonight’s episode of CSI: Canberra airs. “We obviously don’t want to risk our friendship with Brancaland or make things worse with Marche Noir. These brave keyboard warriors just need a little policing. I can rein these groups in and remind them of their original mandate, which is to spread love, not war.”

Accept

“Why not disown this Trolls From Canberra and state that Kwikileaks is in the pockets of East Lebatuck?” suggests your easily distracted Minister of Technology while playing Maxémon Woah on her phone. “This gives you more wiggle room to allow these groups to fight it amongst themselves. So what if they end up starting a few international incidents or if those reds in East Lebatuck retaliate? What’s the worst that could happen?”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec

Edited by Nation of Quebec
Hard-Core Centrist. Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
All in-character posts are fictional and have no actual connection to any real governments
You don't appreciate the good police officers until you've lived amongst the dregs of society and/or had them as customers
From Greek ancestry Orthodox Christian
Issues and WA Proposals Written By Me |Issue Ideas You Can Steal
I want to commission infrastructure in Australia in real life, if you can help me, please telegram me. I am dead serious

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13705
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Tue Dec 20, 2016 3:43 pm

Issue #020 is logged as being edited both by Maxtopia and Luna Amore. The author is Maxtopia.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

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Drasnia
Minister
 
Posts: 2601
Founded: Feb 02, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Drasnia » Wed Dec 21, 2016 4:29 pm

#652 Mayday Mayday spotted. Let me get off mobile and on an actual computer to post it.

EDIT: And here it is.

#652: Mayday! Mayday!

The Issue


Three weeks ago Oceanic Airlines Flight 209 disappeared from radar, and now a crash has been confirmed, with debris scattered across the sea, and the missing two hundred passengers and crew officially declared dead and lost. This tragedy was only the most recent airplane catastrophe departing from @@NAME@@, and anxious flyers are demanding immediate safety improvements.

The Debate

“Clearly these disasters mean we are long overdue for new aircraft,” states Oceanic Airlines CEO Sven Rhodar while playing with a model jet. “These crashes are caused by outdated, crumbling, and ugly aircraft like the Moeing 606 and the Airtrolley T300. In fact, the average age of any given plane is thirty years! We live in a technological and automated world. It’s time our planes joined the modern world, too! We can build a next generation fleet if the government gave us some funding. Then our skies and safety reputation will be second to none!”

“Our aircraft aren’t the problem, it’s who’s flying the plane!” replies pilot Hudson Sullenburger, running a flight simulator for students. “Did you know that pilot error is the number one cause of accidents? They’ve become lazy, sleep deprived, and constantly tardy! We need more stringent measures on the training of pilots. We can introduce more intense and hands on testing and ban anyone without a license from flying. Flying a plane is much more complex than video games make them look.” The trainer now looks at the class and picks on a student. “Now Joey, you ever been in a cockpit before? Or have you seen gladiator movies?”

“I see these crashes all the time,” sighs Kathryn Sanchez, a lead investigator of aviation crashes. “The reason they disappear from radar is because they break-up mid-flight. Maintenance is the obvious problem. We need to require airlines and airports to perform constant maintenance checks on all aircraft and ground and plane with the slightest defect. Yes, that might be costly, but not maintaining planes is even costlier.”

“Do you know how much time and money I waste dealing with all these regulations?” rhetorically asks Ruby Sanchez, CEO of Budget Air, an airline so cheap that passengers have to pay extra to have a seat. “We’re talking about metal boxes flying at 20,000 feet in the sky. Of course things are bound to go wrong once in a while! To make things worse my staff are constantly harassed by these government goons. No wonder my pilots are stressed out! The government needs to get off our backs and let us handle things ourselves!”

“I know a perfect solution!” joyously suggests train enthusiast Alexander Moneypenny. “The solution is to ban all airplanes! Not only are they clearly unsafe, they’re loud, ugly, and are a big contributor to greenhouse gases! Surely we can rely on safer transportation, like trains or boats, for travel. They’re much less susceptible to delays, crashes, and only a fraction of a pollutant compared to planes! All we need is more funding for public transit. You call them slow. I call them scenic.”

Issue by The City-State of Outer Sparta

Edited by Nation of Quebec

Note that on the name for option one, my leader is King Rhodar, so it must be using some code to get part of (perhaps specifically the last name) @@LEADER@@'s name. Like usual, I didn't touch the names so it is easier to check which one's are random and if any are specifically gendered.
Last edited by Drasnia on Wed Dec 21, 2016 4:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.
See You Space Cowboy...

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13705
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Wed Dec 21, 2016 4:40 pm

Issue #332 is now being logged as having been edited by Lenyo and Kryozerkia.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

User avatar
Trotterdam
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10544
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:19 pm

Drasnia wrote:Note that on the name for option one, my leader is King Rhodar, so it must be using some code to get part of (perhaps specifically the last name) @@LEADER@@'s name.
It's just a random name. They sometimes take words from your custom fields.

However, the name in option 2 is not random.

Here's a version with proper name macros, and some typos fixed under the assumption that the editors will get to them shortly:
#652 Mayday! Mayday!

The Issue

Three weeks ago Oceanic Airlines Flight 209 disappeared from radar, and now a crash has been confirmed, with debris scattered across the sea, and the missing two hundred passengers and crew officially declared dead and lost. This tragedy was only the most recent airplane catastrophe departing from @@NAME@@, and anxious flyers are demanding immediate safety improvements.

The Debate

1. "Clearly these disasters mean we are long overdue for new aircraft," states Oceanic Airlines CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@ while playing with a model jet. "These crashes are caused by outdated, crumbling, and ugly aircraft like the Moeing 606 and the Airtrolley T300. In fact, the average age of any given plane is thirty years! We live in a technological and automated world. It's time our planes joined the modern world, too! We can build a next generation fleet if the government gave us some funding. Then our skies and safety reputation will be second to none!"

2. "Our aircraft aren't the problem, it's who's flying the plane!" replies pilot Hudson Sullenburger, running a flight simulator for students. "Did you know that pilot error is the number one cause of accidents? They've become lazy, sleep-deprived, and constantly tardy! We need more stringent measures on the training of pilots. We can introduce more intense and hands-on testing and ban anyone without a license from flying. Flying a plane is much more complex than video games make them look." The trainer now looks at the class and picks on a student. "Now Joey, you ever been in a cockpit before? Or have you seen gladiator movies?"

3. "I see these crashes all the time," sighs @@RANDOMNAME@@, a lead investigator of aviation crashes. "The reason they disappear from radar is because they break up mid-flight. Maintenance is the obvious problem. We need to require airlines and airports to perform constant maintenance checks on all aircraft and ground any plane with the slightest defect. Yes, that might be costly, but not maintaining planes is even costlier."

4. "Do you know how much time and money I waste dealing with all these regulations?" rhetorically asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of Budget Air, an airline so cheap that passengers have to pay extra to have a seat. "We're talking about metal boxes flying at 20,000 feet in the sky. Of course things are bound to go wrong once in a while! To make things worse my staff are constantly harassed by these government goons. No wonder my pilots are stressed out! The government needs to get off our backs and let us handle things ourselves!"

5. "I know a perfect solution!" joyously suggests train enthusiast @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The solution is to ban all airplanes! Not only are they clearly unsafe, they're loud, ugly, and are a big contributor to greenhouse gases! Surely we can rely on safer transportation, like trains or boats, for travel. They're much less susceptible to delays, crashes, and only a fraction of a pollutant compared to planes! All we need is more funding for public transit. You call them slow. I call them scenic."

Issue by Outer Sparta
Edited by Nation of Quebec

User avatar
Outer Sparta
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 15111
Founded: Dec 26, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Outer Sparta » Wed Dec 21, 2016 7:57 pm

Trotterdam wrote:
Drasnia wrote:Note that on the name for option one, my leader is King Rhodar, so it must be using some code to get part of (perhaps specifically the last name) @@LEADER@@'s name.
It's just a random name. They sometimes take words from your custom fields.

However, the name in option 2 is not random.

Here's a version with proper name macros, and some typos fixed under the assumption that the editors will get to them shortly:
#652 Mayday! Mayday!

The Issue

Three weeks ago Oceanic Airlines Flight 209 disappeared from radar, and now a crash has been confirmed, with debris scattered across the sea, and the missing two hundred passengers and crew officially declared dead and lost. This tragedy was only the most recent airplane catastrophe departing from @@NAME@@, and anxious flyers are demanding immediate safety improvements.

The Debate

1. "Clearly these disasters mean we are long overdue for new aircraft," states Oceanic Airlines CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@ while playing with a model jet. "These crashes are caused by outdated, crumbling, and ugly aircraft like the Moeing 606 and the Airtrolley T300. In fact, the average age of any given plane is thirty years! We live in a technological and automated world. It's time our planes joined the modern world, too! We can build a next generation fleet if the government gave us some funding. Then our skies and safety reputation will be second to none!"

2. "Our aircraft aren't the problem, it's who's flying the plane!" replies pilot Hudson Sullenburger, running a flight simulator for students. "Did you know that pilot error is the number one cause of accidents? They've become lazy, sleep-deprived, and constantly tardy! We need more stringent measures on the training of pilots. We can introduce more intense and hands-on testing and ban anyone without a license from flying. Flying a plane is much more complex than video games make them look." The trainer now looks at the class and picks on a student. "Now Joey, you ever been in a cockpit before? Or have you seen gladiator movies?"

3. "I see these crashes all the time," sighs @@RANDOMNAME@@, a lead investigator of aviation crashes. "The reason they disappear from radar is because they break up mid-flight. Maintenance is the obvious problem. We need to require airlines and airports to perform constant maintenance checks on all aircraft and ground any plane with the slightest defect. Yes, that might be costly, but not maintaining planes is even costlier."

4. "Do you know how much time and money I waste dealing with all these regulations?" rhetorically asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of Budget Air, an airline so cheap that passengers have to pay extra to have a seat. "We're talking about metal boxes flying at 20,000 feet in the sky. Of course things are bound to go wrong once in a while! To make things worse my staff are constantly harassed by these government goons. No wonder my pilots are stressed out! The government needs to get off our backs and let us handle things ourselves!"

5. "I know a perfect solution!" joyously suggests train enthusiast @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The solution is to ban all airplanes! Not only are they clearly unsafe, they're loud, ugly, and are a big contributor to greenhouse gases! Surely we can rely on safer transportation, like trains or boats, for travel. They're much less susceptible to delays, crashes, and only a fraction of a pollutant compared to planes! All we need is more funding for public transit. You call them slow. I call them scenic."

Issue by Outer Sparta
Edited by Nation of Quebec

Option 2's name is a reference to Chelsey Sullenberger. His first name is Hudson, the place where Cactus (US Airways) 1549 was ditched.
Last edited by Outer Sparta on Mon Dec 26, 2016 4:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Free Palestine, stop the genocide in Gaza

User avatar
Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13705
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:47 am

Option 2 for #644 "The Old Grey Matter:"
“Personally, I’ve always wanted to see Brancaland,” hints society member @@RANDOMNAME@@, packing a beige floral-print trolley-suitcase. “If the government could see its way to subsidising travel for the elderly, we could spread across the world and sing the praises of our homeland. It’d be good for the @@TYPE@@’s international image, and good for my tan. Win-win, right?”

For the name, I got Mark Rubin, which is unlikely to be hardcoded. For Option 4, I got Judas Cummings, which is more evidence in favour of @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Violet Hat Society" is in italics.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

User avatar
Heliosphere
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 20
Founded: Mar 10, 2016
Authoritarian Democracy

Issue 651: Black Days For @@NAME@@

Postby Heliosphere » Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:51 am

The Issue

Annually, retailers in Heliosphere mark down their prices a bit and sell “limited edition” items. This year, the usual frenzy of crazed customers fighting over toasters and flat screen TVs escalated to new levels. Cut-price madness may well have tipped into societal insanity: maybe you should do something to fix the situation.

The Debate

1. “Look what those savages did to me!” yells Lucy Singh, an aggrieved customer waving a bandaged wrist stump at you. “I was trying to scan my credit card for a blender, and a wacko cut my hand off and stole the blender. The same guy also stuffed my leg into this peg leg. Now mind you, my leg is still in there, but I can’t get the damned thing off! You should ban one day discount events, and force any discount applied to be sustained for at least a week. If not for public safety, then do it in tribute to my hand!”

2. “That’s insane... A bit like our Low Low Prices!” retorts sales rep Sherlock Mendez, aiming an exaggerated wink and a cheeky smile at you. “Look, our sales quintuple during discount events. Spending drives the economy, and this generates the tax that lets you run your government. So, everyone benefits! In fact, you should make it a nation holiday so people can get off from work and fight... uh, I mean compete... with each other for new stuff!”

3. “Or, we could have a slight compromise,” states Judi Janeway, head of contractor firm International Retail Security. “The presence of trained security professionals can achieve up to seventy-five percent fewer deaths in-store! You should allow these ‘super sales’, but require stores to hire private security to make sure no one kills each other. That way, the business owners get to make lots of Novas, but the public stays safe.”

Issue by The Socialist Republic of The United Providences of Perland

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
Puppet of Pencil Sharpeners 2. Cheese and computers.

User avatar
Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13705
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Sat Dec 24, 2016 4:27 pm

Issue 651 with macros:
The Issue: Annually, retailers in @@NAME@@ mark down their prices a bit and sell “limited edition” items. This year, the usual frenzy of crazed customers fighting over toasters and flat screen TVs escalated to new levels. Cut-price madness may well have tipped into societal insanity: maybe you should do something to fix the situation.

The Debate
  1. “Look what those savages did to me!” yells @@RANDOMNAME@@, an aggrieved customer waving a bandaged wrist stump at you. “I was trying to scan my credit card for a blender, and a wacko cut my hand off and stole the blender. The same guy also stuffed my leg into this peg leg. Now mind you, my leg is still in there, but I can’t get the damned thing off! You should ban one day discount events, and force any discount applied to be sustained for at least a week. If not for public safety, then do it in tribute to my hand!”
  2. “That’s insane... A bit like our Low Low Prices!” retorts sales rep @@RANDOMNAME@@, aiming an exaggerated wink and a cheeky smile at you. “Look, our sales quintuple during discount events. Spending drives the economy, and this generates the tax that lets you run your government. So, everyone benefits! In fact, you should make it a nation holiday so people can get off from work and fight... uh, I mean compete... with each other for new stuff!”
  3. “Or, we could have a slight compromise,” states @@RANDOMNAME@@ (probably @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@), head of contractor firm International Retail Security. “The presence of trained security professionals can achieve up to seventy-five percent fewer deaths in-store! You should allow these ‘super sales’, but require stores to hire private security to make sure no one kills each other. That way, the business owners get to make lots of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, but the public stays safe.”
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

User avatar
Noahs Second Country
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 2047
Founded: Aug 31, 2016
Anarchy

652

Postby Noahs Second Country » Sat Dec 24, 2016 11:54 pm

Mayday, Mayday
The Issue

Three weeks ago Oceanic Airlines Flight 209 disappeared from radar, and now a crash has been confirmed, with debris scattered across the sea, and the missing two hundred passengers and crew officially declared dead and lost. This tragedy was only the most recent airplane catastrophe departing from NoahS SeconD CountrY, and anxious flyers are demanding immediate safety improvements.

The Debate

“Clearly these disasters mean we are long overdue for new aircraft,” states Oceanic Airlines CEO Norman Yoo while playing with a model jet. “These crashes are caused by outdated, crumbling, and ugly aircraft like the Moeing 606 and the Airtrolley T300. In fact, the average age of any given plane is thirty years! We live in a technological and automated world. It’s time our planes joined the modern world, too! We can build a next generation fleet if the government gave us some funding. Then our skies and safety reputation will be second to none!”

Accept

“Our aircraft aren’t the problem, it’s who’s flying the plane!” replies pilot Hudson Sullenburger, running a flight simulator for students. “Did you know that pilot error is the number one cause of accidents? They’ve become lazy, sleep-deprived, and constantly tardy! We need more stringent measures on the training of pilots. We can introduce more intense and hands-on testing and ban anyone without a license from flying. Flying a plane is much more complex than video games make them look.” The trainer now looks at the class and picks on a student. “Now Joey, you ever been in a cockpit before? Or have you seen gladiator movies?”

Accept

“I see these crashes all the time,” sighs Gregory Han, a lead investigator of aviation crashes. “The reason they disappear from radar is because they break-up mid-flight. Maintenance is the obvious problem. We need to require airlines and airports to perform constant maintenance checks on all aircraft and ground any plane with the slightest defect. Yes, that might be costly, but not maintaining planes is even costlier.”

Accept

“Do you know how much time and money I waste dealing with all these regulations?” rhetorically asks Doris Pavlov, CEO of Budget Air, an airline so cheap that passengers have to pay extra to have a seat. “We’re talking about metal boxes flying at 20,000 feet in the sky. Of course things are bound to go wrong once in a while! To make things worse my staff are constantly harassed by these government goons. No wonder my pilots are stressed out! The government needs to get off our backs and let us handle things ourselves!”

Accept

“I know a perfect solution!” joyously suggests train enthusiast Ned Looney. “The solution is to ban all airplanes! Not only are they clearly unsafe, they’re loud, ugly, and are a big contributor to greenhouse gases! Surely we can rely on safer transportation, like trains or boats, for travel. They’re much less susceptible to delays, crashes, and only a fraction of a pollutant compared to planes! All we need is more funding for public transit. You call them slow. I call them scenic.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The City-State of Outer Sparta

Edited by Nation of Quebec
Westinor wrote:Who knew the face of Big Farma could be the greatest hero of the Cards Proleteriat?
Honeydewistania wrote:Such spunk and arrogance that he welcomes the brigade of hatred!
Orcuo wrote:The plan was foolproof! Unfortunately, I didn’t make it Noah-proof.
WeKnow wrote:I am not a fan of his in the slightest.
Benevolent 0 wrote:You can't seem to ever portray yourself straight.
Bormiar wrote: reckless and greedy, closer to a character issue than something to be rewarded.
Second Best™ - 7x Issues Author, 7x SC Author, Editor, Ex-Minister of Cards of the North Pacific

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13705
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Sun Dec 25, 2016 3:43 pm

Issue #331 "Swept Away" is now officially considered edited by Dustistan and Lenyo.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

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The Candy Of Bottles
Diplomat
 
Posts: 634
Founded: Jan 01, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Candy Of Bottles » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:27 pm

110.2 now reads as:

Returning fire, both figuratively and literally, is Michelle Trump, biker gang leader and anarchist: “That there’s anyone claiming to be a government is ludicrous. People should be allowed to determine their own fate and survival without fear of breaking these inhibiting laws! All government officials should be removed at once, and all government departments stripped of all funding, if this country is ever to become well and truly ‘equal’!”
Nation May also be called Ebsas Shomad.
WA Delegate: Tislam Timnärstëlmith (Tislam Taperedtresses)
Operates on EST/EDT
1.) Ignore them, they want attention. Giving it to them will only encourage them.
2.) Keep a backup region or two handy, with a password in place, in case you are raided. You can move there if needed.

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13705
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:21 pm

The Candy Of Bottles wrote:110.2 now reads as:

Returning fire, both figuratively and literally, is Michelle Trump, biker gang leader and anarchist: “That there’s anyone claiming to be a government is ludicrous. People should be allowed to determine their own fate and survival without fear of breaking these inhibiting laws! All government officials should be removed at once, and all government departments stripped of all funding, if this country is ever to become well and truly ‘equal’!”

Michelle Trump is a random name - it is not hardcoded. However, the italicised section is the new section added in.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

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Noahs Second Country
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 2047
Founded: Aug 31, 2016
Anarchy

Postby Noahs Second Country » Wed Dec 28, 2016 8:26 pm

How often is this list updated?
Westinor wrote:Who knew the face of Big Farma could be the greatest hero of the Cards Proleteriat?
Honeydewistania wrote:Such spunk and arrogance that he welcomes the brigade of hatred!
Orcuo wrote:The plan was foolproof! Unfortunately, I didn’t make it Noah-proof.
WeKnow wrote:I am not a fan of his in the slightest.
Benevolent 0 wrote:You can't seem to ever portray yourself straight.
Bormiar wrote: reckless and greedy, closer to a character issue than something to be rewarded.
Second Best™ - 7x Issues Author, 7x SC Author, Editor, Ex-Minister of Cards of the North Pacific

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23652
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Dec 28, 2016 8:28 pm

NoahS SeconD CountrY wrote:How often is this list updated?


That's up to the nation running the updates, who is currently Christian Democrats.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Christian Democrats
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10093
Founded: Jul 29, 2009
New York Times Democracy

Postby Christian Democrats » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:30 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
NoahS SeconD CountrY wrote:How often is this list updated?

That's up to the nation running the updates, who is currently Christian Democrats.

I meant to do it last week, but with the holidays and all, I've been fairly busy lately . . .

I'll try to update the issues soon.
Leo Tolstoy wrote:Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.
GA#160: Forced Marriages Ban Act (79%)
GA#175: Organ and Blood Donations Act (68%)^
SC#082: Repeal "Liberate Catholic" (80%)
GA#200: Foreign Marriage Recognition (54%)
GA#213: Privacy Protection Act (70%)
GA#231: Marital Rape Justice Act (81%)^
GA#233: Ban Profits on Workers' Deaths (80%)*
GA#249: Stopping Suicide Seeds (70%)^
GA#253: Repeal "Freedom in Medical Research" (76%)
GA#285: Assisted Suicide Act (70%)^
GA#310: Disabled Voters Act (81%)
GA#373: Repeal "Convention on Execution" (54%)
GA#468: Prohibit Private Prisons (57%)^

* denotes coauthorship
^ repealed resolution
#360: Electile Dysfunction
#452: Foetal Furore
#560: Bicameral Backlash
#570: Clerical Errors

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13705
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Sat Dec 31, 2016 4:04 pm

Issue #141 is now logged as edited by both Sirocco and Tactical Grace.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13705
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Mon Jan 02, 2017 3:59 pm

Our first two-option issue in a long time, thanks to Ransium. It's amazing to think that, this time last year, we were barely onto 475 issues (#477 "Feeding Frenzy" hit leaders' desks on 4th January 2016) - look how much we've grown!:
Issue #653: A Cloak and Syringe Operation

The Issue
Vague intelligence reports suggest yet another terrorist attack on Tinhampton is being planned by Ultra-Violet, an especially extreme and hateful Violetist terrorist group from Tasmania. However, information is sketchy at best and the general feeling is that boots-on-the-ground intelligence will be needed to effectively assess and counter the potential threat.

The Debate
  1. “Look, Leader, I’m going to be straight with you: there’s no nice or pretty solution here,” states Intelligence Director Alan Welsh-Boring, who is leading the search for Ultra. “We don’t have many Tasmanian contacts. Citizens of Tinhampton are viewed with extreme suspicion there, especially in the more rural areas that Ultra-Violet recruits from. My agents can pose as doctors who are vaccinating Tasmanians as part of the ongoing Spoon Pox eradication efforts. Doing this, they’ll be able to travel to the places they need to go, plant deep cover agents within the enemy ranks, and get critical intel to counter this terrorist threat.”
  2. “You can’t do that!” gasps Dr.Claude Borel, a member of the international non-governmental organization Doctors Without Quarters, who’s been crashing in one of your guest bedrooms for the past few weeks. “In a few years, our program may be able to eradicate Spoon Pox entirely. And it’s not just Spoon Pox... we’ve been vaccinating against other preventable diseases too, like Yellow Tongue and the dreaded Bendy Creaks. Your deceptions risk the credibility of all international medical aid efforts, and could set public health back by decades!”
Issue by The United Mangrove Archipelago of Ransium
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

User avatar
Nation of Quebec
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8217
Founded: Jan 19, 2006
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Nation of Quebec » Mon Jan 02, 2017 4:41 pm

Tinhampton wrote:Our first two-option issue in a long time, thanks to Ransium. It's amazing to think that, this time last year, we were barely onto 475 issues (#477 "Feeding Frenzy" hit leaders' desks on 4th January 2016) - look how much we've grown!:


It's been quite a year, but we do have an active and dynamic team that I think really helps us get through issues much faster. I think this is the most stable the editing team has been for a while.

Thanks to all of those who submitted the issues that made it possible.
Canadian, Left-of-Center, Cynic
Proud Atheist and Geek
All WA matters are handled by my WA puppet state of Velkia and the Islands
Please don't send me unsolicited telegrams.

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Ransium
Retired Moderator
 
Posts: 6788
Founded: Oct 17, 2006
Democratic Socialists

Postby Ransium » Mon Jan 02, 2017 7:23 pm

Nation of Quebec wrote:It's been quite a year, but we do have an active and dynamic team that I think really helps us get through issues much faster. I think this is the most stable the editing team has been for a while.

Thanks to all of those who submitted the issues that made it possible.


For me personally, it made a huge difference. I always thought issue authoring might be fun (although I didn't know how fun!), but I had heard that it can take years for issues to get published with no feedback editorial team. This made the prospect of issue writing discouraging enough for me that I never tried it. The large increase in the number of issues that were getting published of late is a big reason I got involved. Thanks to all editors!
Last edited by Ransium on Mon Jan 02, 2017 8:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Commended by SC 236,
WA Delegate of Forest from March 20th, 2007 to August 19, 2020.
Author of WA Resolutions: SC 221, SC 224, SC 233, SC 243, SC 265, GA 403, GA 439, GA 445,GA 463,GA 465,
Issues Editor since January 20th, 2017 with some down time.
Author of 27 issues. First editor of 44.
Moderator since November 10th 2017 with some down time.

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Drasnia
Minister
 
Posts: 2601
Founded: Feb 02, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Drasnia » Mon Jan 02, 2017 8:49 pm

Ransium wrote:
Nation of Quebec wrote:It's been quite a year, but we do have an active and dynamic team that I think really helps us get through issues much faster. I think this is the most stable the editing team has been for a while.

Thanks to all of those who submitted the issues that made it possible.


For me personally, it made a huge difference. I always thought issue authoring might be fun (although I didn't know how fun!), but I had heard that it can take years for issues to get published with no feedback editorial team. This made the prospect of issue writing discouraging enough for me that I never tried it. The large increase in the number of issues that were getting published of late is a big reason I got involved. Thanks to all editors!

You have no idea. The first issue I wrote, #505: Florists Blooming Mad, was submitted in 2013 but didn't get accepted until this year. It's acceptance is what finally got me back into issue writing. (Interestingly, the second one I wrote was accepted earlier - #424: You Just Sank My Battleship - but I wasn't on NS at the time. I didn't even know it was in the game until I got it on one of my puppets!)

It's amazing what a few years have done for GI. Back in 2013, you might wait 1-2 weeks to get one response or for it to fall off the front page. I had to solicit region members in order to get any opinions on my drafts. Now . . . well, you see how it is now. It's fantastic and I love the culture now.
See You Space Cowboy...

User avatar
Drasnia
Minister
 
Posts: 2601
Founded: Feb 02, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Drasnia » Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:04 pm

Also, #140 is now logged as being edited by Sirocco and Myrth
See You Space Cowboy...

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