and here's #628
The Issue
Large forest fires are raging across Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan. Tens of thousands of acres have already been burned, houses in rural communities have been destroyed, and the resultant smoke has drifted into Kaiserstadt, ruining your plans to spend the day tanning.
The Debate
“This is just another example of public sector failure,” opines former timber baron and current timber industry lobbyist Kanya Räikkönen. “Put these forests back in private hands, and we’ll have these forest humming again in no time - with chainsaws, that is. We’ll clear out all this built-up fuel faster than you can say, ‘TIMBER’. You can even call us environmentalists because it’s in our own interest to plant new trees, and then cut them down again, of course.”
“That’s just not cool, man,” mutters Heech, of the stoner comedy duo Heech and Hemp. “These forests have evolved with fire for aeons. The problem is Man, man. We need to stop ‘managing’ forests and just let the fires do their thing. Communities living in forested areas need to either move out or adapt to fires. As for the smoke...” He pauses and takes a long puff of something you can’t quite see, then after coughing uncontrollably for a while adds: “...we just need to adapt.”
“No!” cries former martial arts protege and current forest ranger Dirk Frederickson, while bribing you with a picnic basket that was allegedly taken from a bear. “We just need a bit more money. Not just for fire suppression, but for preventative measures, like creating defensible spaces around homes, thinning out logs and small trees, prescribed fire, and arresting potential arsonists. Fires will be smaller and more manageable and everyone will be happy.”
“All this hand-wringing about forest land management is so interesting,” sarcastically comments Dave Bergman, whose family lost their home to the fire. “Oh, wait, no, I don’t care, BECAUSE MY HOUSE BURNT DOWN! Thousands of people have lost their homes and what are you doing about it? We need emergency help now. Let’s take all the money we’re wasting on so-called ‘land management’ and put it into something useful, like disaster relief and rebuilding our homes and communities.”
Issue by The Mangrovian Primitivists of Ransium and The Holy Blue Isles of Tishanda
Edited by Nation of Quebec
