NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Tinhampton]

Upon request of Drasnia over in the "Help Us Fix Old Issues" thread, I have transported my suggestions about clearing up a couple of @@RANDOMNAME@@ macros from there to here, with a couple of changes by me (see italics):

Whilst I haven't recieved Issue #092 yet, this thread tells me that the person who rejects the vaccination in Option 2 is a female ("...Doctors are not always right!" she says.). Shouldn't the @@RANDOMNAME@@ macro at the start of that option be changed to a @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ macro?

And in addition, Option 3 on Issue #000 still reads "...says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your brother". Shouldn't the @@RANDOMNAME@@ macro be changed to a @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ macro?

To conclude, have these changes been made yet, or is the community just slow in updating the list?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Just so y'all know, A Pound Of Flesh has been renamed Contract Killer, to remove the title overlap with Victims Demand Their Pound of Flesh .

[Tinhampton]

Just so y'all know, A Pound Of Flesh has been renamed Contract Killer, to remove the title overlap with Victims Demand Their Pound of Flesh .

Is this the first time that an issue's name has had to be changed whilst it was "in the wild" (as opposed to changes in drafting, or in the editing process)? How did the confusion manage to survive for over a year?

[Australian rePublic]

The Jaws Of A Dilemma

The Issue

After a series of fatal attacks by Kangaroo sharks on swimmers during prime vacation time, a debate has arisen over how to respond to the finned danger.

The Debate

“My sister was seriously hurt in one of the attacks,” says Shigeru Eliot, waving a surfboard with a large chunk bitten out. “Okay, while that isn’t the worst possible outcome, these Kangaroo sharks are here and are very hungry. We need to properly protect the beaches from them. Guard boats! Shark watchers! Sonic deterrents! It might be expensive, but it’s better than serving us up as a smorgasbord, right?”

Accept

“Oh, no, no, we can’t have any of this,” pleads local Mayor Kathryn Vaughn, pulling at your sleeve for attention. “If you so much as mention the s-word, we’ll have panic on our hands at peak holiday season, and cancellations coming out of our ear-holes! We’re a summer town, and we need summer Australian Dollars. Tell them it was a boat accident, that it’s a beautiful day and that the beaches are open. Then talk about something else - anything - to distract their attention, and remind them why Australian Republic is Regionless’s number one tourist destination!”

Accept

“It’s not the Kangaroo SHARKS that are the problem,” pointedly declares Ruby Garak, causing the Mayor to wince. “It’s the people! The government should protect the sharks from the beach-goers and industries that steal their food and habitat, forcing them to come closer to humans. The sharks were there first! Just put ‘No Swimming’ signs along the beach.”

Accept

“These Kangaroo sharks offer us an opportunity,” says Mohammed Kangaroo, your Minister of Tourism, poring over plans for oceanfront tourism development. “Think about it. How much are people willing to pay to see sharks up close? It’ll surely attract tons of new visitors to our beaches and aquariums, and we could make a fortune from cage diving. Sure, some people might get chowed upon, but it’s for the experience, you know?”

Accept

“Seems like you got a shark problem on your hand,” nonchalantly mutters Quant, a rugged fisherman and captain of the Okra, caressing a harpoon gun. “I’ve been fishing on the Australian Bay since before I could walk, I served on the S.S. Canberra that sunk. I’ve seen these sharks up close; they’ve got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. I’ll take care of your shark problem, so long as I get paid handsomely. But I’ll need a bigger boat.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by Team rhysha

Edited by Sedgistan

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Just so y'all know, A Pound Of Flesh has been renamed Contract Killer, to remove the title overlap with Victims Demand Their Pound of Flesh .

Is this the first time that an issue's name has had to be changed whilst it was "in the wild" (as opposed to changes in drafting, or in the editing process)? How did the confusion manage to survive for over a year?

No, its not the first time.

I guess you should have spotted the overlap earlier. Man, you should pay attention better.

Seriously, quit it with this sense of entitlement.

[Trotterdam]

Thanks, Australian Republic. I got that issue earlier today, but couldn't be sure of some macros without seeing another copy. Not that you bothered. Here's the formatted version:

#618 The Jaws Of A Dilemma

The Issue

After a series of fatal attacks by @@ANIMAL@@ sharks on swimmers during prime vacation time, a debate has arisen over how to respond to the finned danger.

The Debate

1. "My sister was seriously hurt in one of the attacks," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, waving a surfboard with a large chunk bitten out. "Okay, while that isn't the worst possible outcome, these @@ANIMAL@@ sharks are here and are very hungry. We need to properly protect the beaches from them. Guard boats! Shark watchers! Sonic deterrents! It might be expensive, but it's better than serving us up as a smorgasbord, right?"

2. "Oh, no, no, we can't have any of this," pleads local Mayor @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Vaughn, pulling at your sleeve for attention. "If you so much as mention the s-word, we'll have panic on our hands at peak holiday season, and cancellations coming out of our ear-holes! We're a summer town, and we need summer @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@. Tell them it was a boat accident, that it's a beautiful day and that the beaches are open. Then talk about something else - anything - to distract their attention, and remind them why @@NAME@@ is @@REGION@@'s number one tourist destination!"

3. "It's not the @@ANIMAL@@ SHARKS that are the problem," pointedly declares @@RANDOMNAME@@, causing the Mayor to wince. "It's the people! The government should protect the sharks from the beach-goers and industries that steal their food and habitat, forcing them to come closer to humans. The sharks were there first! Just put ‘No Swimming' signs along the beach."

4. "These @@ANIMAL@@ sharks offer us an opportunity," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Tourism, poring over plans for oceanfront tourism development. "Think about it. How much are people willing to pay to see sharks up close? It'll surely attract tons of new visitors to our beaches and aquariums, and we could make a fortune from cage diving. Sure, some people might get chowed upon, but it's for the experience, you know?"

5. "Seems like you got a shark problem on your hand," nonchalantly mutters Quant, a rugged fisherman and captain of the Okra, caressing a harpoon gun. "I've been fishing on the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Bay since before I could walk, I served on the S.S. @@CAPITAL@@ that sunk. I've seen these sharks up close; they've got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. I'll take care of your shark problem, so long as I get paid handsomely. But I'll need a bigger boat."

Issue by Team Rhysha
Edited by Sedgistan

[Drasnia]

I wonder what people who have sharks set as their animals will think when the whole issue is about "Shark Sharks."

[A Humanist Science]

I wonder what people who have sharks set as their animals will think when the whole issue is about "Shark Sharks."

The only prescription is more shark.

[Australian rePublic]

I wonder what people who have sharks set as their animals will think when the whole issue is about "Shark Sharks."

[Sedgistan]

I wonder what people who have sharks set as their animals will think when the whole issue is about "Shark Sharks."

Yes, that was a concern, but it was outweighed by the prospect of someone getting squirrel sharks.

[Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan]

and we have #619

X Marks The Cult?


The Issue

A plot of land, which is simultaneously where the founder of the Order of Violet was allegedly born, where the Tranquility of Yellow claims the Goddess will descend, and where the Cult of Pizza plans to build its temple called The Pizza Church of Pepperoni, has been claimed by all three religions. The three religions’ leaders have cornered you after another ribbon cutting ceremony and have demanded that you settle their conflict.
The Debate

“The Dead Ocean Scrolls clearly state that us Violetists are the real owners of this land!” declares the Grand Purplmistress of Violetism as she makes threatening gestures towards you and the other leaders. “We deserve to be able to practice our hum, err, animal sacrifices, so why can’t we go along, take the land, and do it there? No one else is as cra- I mean, unique as we are. The only thing we ask are only a few million Reais to build our temple, and everything else will be taken care of.”

“Those scrolls are nothing but mistranslated hogwash! All of this area belongs to us!” asserts Her Jaundiceness, the eccentric and indecisive leader of the Tranquility of Yellow. “Those idiotic Violetists and believers in Catholic Church of Barbarossistan only care about the majority of people in Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan. What about the minority, the ones that believe invisible dragons fly around, and that everyone should pay for, uh, make a personal sacrifice to the great Advertising Billboard? We would freely allow all of them to come in and listen to our completely objective teachings. Now as for the majority... they’ll just be banned from coming. What, you thought we would KILL them? We’re not that crazy...”

“All must hail His Immaculate Munchiness!” announces Tom O, a former Luigi Bros pizzeria owner who claims that the franchise’s insane prices literally sent him to a mental hospital. “We are aware that other religions should be allowed to exist in this world, yet these two are claiming the land for inhumane and overall unusual reasons, in the Cult of Pizza’s opinion. The church we will build will have a free pizza buffet for all! The only cost? Well, we aren’t really building a real “church” per se. We are actually building a pizza store with a church inside of it. That’s a small price to pay for His Holy Crustiness!”

“You know, you honestly don’t have to listen to any of these screwballs.” bemoans your politically ambitious cousin, who has been giving you poor leadership advice since you became leader of Barbarossistanian South Brasilistan. “You can use the area to do other things like, I don’t know, weave baskets? Whatever the case is, it would be much better to do this than let any of these insane religions take a perfectly viable plot of land. Oh, I will also own the plot of land, not you. You know, to avoid a conflict of interest or whatever. You do trust me, right?”

“Have you forgotten what I told you about sharing and compromise?” reminds your mother, who returned from a shopping spree at the store you just opened. “Why not force all those religions to share this plot of land? Divide it up into three separate spaces with a communal center in the middle. Some may not like sharing the ground with their mortal enemies and you’ll need extra police presence to curb potential violence, but fair’s fair, right?”

Issue by The People's Republic of Tykadoro

Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Pencil Sharpeners 2]

The Issue

A recent front page news story reported that “up to 10% of children may be skipping school lunches because they can’t afford them”. The journalist has since admitted that the phrasing of this reporting might have been slightly misleading, but insists that it’s technically true, and is leading a national campaign for you to introduce free school meals for young children.

The Debate

1. “My poor babies are starving,” says Boris Assange, the journalist in question, and a father of four, as he unloads his shopping bags full of designer clothes from the back of his sports car. “I’ve got bills to pay and costs to meet: the government has a responsibility to put good food on my children’s plates!”

2. “Now hold on a minute,” interrupts Lady Miranda Sulu, adjusting her platinum-rimmed tiara. “Parents only have a responsibility to provide for their own children, not anybody else’s. Why should the government spend my money feeding the sprogs of peasantry? If they don’t want their children to starve, they should work harder, and make more money. The cream rises to the top, don’t you know?”

3. “Other things rise to the top too,” retorts Colleen Fraser, a low-paid sewerjack who knows about these things. “Look, free meals should be for them that haven’t got moolah, like my kids. You think I like feeding them fried junk food? I don’t, but its all I can budget for. You should have vouchers for meals that parents can apply for if they’re poor enough. Schools - and indeed, supermarkets and restaurants - could be obliged to take these vouchers in lieu of cash, then take these vouchers back to the government for reimbursement. Yeah, it’s a bit more complex than a one size fits all approach, but it’s fairer.”

Issue by The Soviet Socialist Republic of Chuporosa

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Dogon]

Here's yet another new one.
Bit of a missed opportunity, considering the issue number. Ah well.

#621: Blue Collar Blues

The Issue

A minor domestic emergency recently left you searching for a call-out plumber, an electrician and a handyman able to rehang a chandelier. Though the sorry incident is now sorted, you’ve been left aware of how hard it is is to find a good tradesmen these days. Your Education Minister tells you that this is because the majority of high school graduates are enrolling in university programs, which is leaving a major skilled labor shortage in the trades industries. There’s ample artists, architects and astrophysicists, but a poor proportion of plumbers, painters and plasterers.

The Debate

1. “We allow immigration for a reason, and this is it,” says Immigration Minister, Taylor Xavier. “Why don’t we use incentive schemes to increase the number of migrants coming in with the skills we need, to fill the labor shortages? That way our citizens can focus on holding higher paying jobs while immigrants do the jobs nobody else wants.”

2. “Wouldn’t it be easier just to get more young people studying trades?” posits Community College tutor Kathleen Pence. “You could subsidize technical colleges and apprenticeships, and even offer stipends to students as an extra incentive to make these choices. You may have to raise taxes a little, and divert funding from further education courses in arts and science, but practical skills are ultimately more important to our economy.”

3. “Sometimes, perhaps it is best to let the ocean currents move you, rather than trying to turn back a rising tide,” suggests Taiqiquan practitioner Stan Longbottom, working through a series of graceful circular movements. “Your nation’s economy is changing, and shifting away from manual work. This is natural, and you should move with, never against. Imagine: as graduates become unemployed, the market self-adjusts, and the economy flows back towards its former shape. As pipes become blocked, supply and demand mismatch results in the free market rising to fill a gap. Energy flows through the system like water, and problems resolve themselves.”

Issue by The Populist Realms of TeamNARWiC
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Trotterdam]

You're missing an option between the first and the second ones (it's probably only for nations that have prisons). I just had the issue, but got distracted actually answering it and forgot to leave the tab open for posting a spoiler. Oops!

[Heliosphere]

Here are the options this nation got.

2. “This is the reason why we should allow immigrant labor,” says Borders Control Minister, Beverly Chandra. “Why don’t we remove the ban on immigration, and use incentive schemes to increase the number of migrants coming in with the skills we need, to fill the labor shortages? That way our citizens can focus on holding higher paying jobs while immigrants do the jobs nobody else wants.”

4. “Wouldn’t it be easier just to get more young people studying trades?” posits Community College tutor Themba Mulder. “You could subsidize technical colleges and apprenticeships, and even offer stipends to students as an extra incentive to make these choices. You may have to raise taxes a little, and divert funding from further education courses in arts and science, but practical skills are ultimately more important to our economy.”

5. “Sometimes, perhaps it is best to let the ocean currents move you, rather than trying to turn back a rising tide,” suggests Taiqiquan practitioner Neil Jefferson, working through a series of graceful circular movements. “Your nation’s economy is changing, and shifting away from manual work. This is natural, and you should move with, never against. Imagine: as graduates become unemployed, the market self-adjusts, and the economy flows back towards its former shape. As pipes become blocked, supply and demand mismatch results in the free market rising to fill a gap. Energy flows through the system like water, and problems resolve themselves.”

[Trotterdam]

I have finally, finally, figured out what's up with #411. There are two variants of the first option:

1. "I can't see what they did wrong," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, proud parent and founder of the Holier Than Thou prayer group. "Homosexuality is an apostasy onto everything we stand for and believe in! I don't want my children to be exposed to it. Teachers are role models for their students for heaven's sake. I say all sodomites should be banned from teaching at all schools in @@NAME@@, lest the contagion spread."

2. "I can't see what they did wrong," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, proud parent and founder of the Holier Than Thou prayer group. "Homosexuality is an apostasy onto everything we stand for and believe in! I don't want my children to be exposed to it. Teachers are role models for their students for heaven's sake. I say all sodomites should be flogged publicly for their crimes, lest the contagion spread."

3. "Prohibiting people from doing their jobs just because of their love life is utterly ridiculous!" shouts a mad-as-hell civil rights activist, "Don't we live in modern society? Giving these fundamentalist idiots what they want is a huge violation of human rights. All people should be able to do their jobs, whatever their sexuality!"

4. "This is yet another example of what harm religion does to our society," says LGBTQ activist Rochelle Hernandez, waving a rainbow flag. "Homosexuality shouldn't be a taboo subject anymore. Children ought to be brought up knowing that sexual diversity is just something that exists in society and is completely normal. To help society move forward, we need to get rid of religious schooling and teach that people should love whoever and whatever they want."

Validity is unknown. It may have something to do with whether the nation already practices cruel and unusual punishment, or with whether homosexuality is already illegal (I got option 2, the flogging one, on a puppet where homosexuality was outlawed).

Also we seem to have McBoatface as a last name now, and Nomathemba as a first name (what language is that?).

Note to editors: I recommend changing the comma after "activist" in option 3 to a period.

[Luna Amore]

and Nomathemba as a first name (what language is that?).

isiZulu and related languages like isiNdebele and siSwati. There's a handful of Zulu names that got thrown in. Not too many.

[Trotterdam]

Here is another copy of #621 with correct option numbers:

#621 Blue Collar Blues

The Issue

A minor domestic emergency recently left you searching for a call-out plumber, an electrician and a handyman able to rehang a chandelier. Though the sorry incident is now sorted, you've been left aware of how hard it is is to find a good tradesmen these days. Your Education Minister tells you that this is because the majority of high school graduates are enrolling in university programs, which is leaving a major skilled labor shortage in the trades industries. There's ample artists, architects and astrophysicists, but a poor proportion of plumbers, painters and plasterers.

The Debate

1. "We allow immigration for a reason, and this is it," says Immigration Minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Why don't we use incentive schemes to increase the number of migrants coming in with the skills we need, to fill the labor shortages? That way our citizens can focus on holding higher paying jobs while immigrants do the jobs nobody else wants."

3. "Seems to me like you've got a captive audience that could be taught new skills," says social reformist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "By which I mean your prison population. Why not offer prison inmates training in the trades that you are lacking, and give them commuted sentences in exchange for attaining qualification? I mean, sure, some of them might misuse training in being able to cut the power to banks and businesses, and a small minority might take these courses just to get out of jail faster, but otherwise, good solution, yes?"

4. "Wouldn't it be easier just to get more young people studying trades?" posits Community College tutor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You could subsidize technical colleges and apprenticeships, and even offer stipends to students as an extra incentive to make these choices. You may have to raise taxes a little, and divert funding from further education courses in arts and science, but practical skills are ultimately more important to our economy."

5. "Sometimes, perhaps it is best to let the ocean currents move you, rather than trying to turn back a rising tide," suggests Taiqiquan practitioner @@RANDOMNAME@@, working through a series of graceful circular movements. "Your nation's economy is changing, and shifting away from manual work. This is natural, and you should move with, never against. Imagine: as graduates become unemployed, the market self-adjusts, and the economy flows back towards its former shape. As pipes become blocked, supply and demand mismatch results in the free market rising to fill a gap. Energy flows through the system like water, and problems resolve themselves."

Issue by TeamNARWiC
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

Option 2 can be acquired from Heliosphere's copy. It is a variant of option 1 based on whether the nation currently allows immigration or not. Option 3 is also not available to all nations, probably restricted to those which have prisons.

---

And here's our newest Easter egg Halloween candy!

#622 Easter Egg: A Holiday Masquerade

The Issue

A group of @@NAME@@'s elite have put together a private party to celebrate the spooky holiday of Halloween in an abandoned and definitely not haunted house, which they got for almost nothing because of all the murders. You and some Ministers have managed to procure invitations, but there's one more question to address: what costume should you wear?

The Debate

1. "I made something perfect for you," enthuses your secretary, who was fired as an elementary school art teacher for having absolutely no artistic talent. "Minimalism is very in this year. I carefully trimmed a few holes in this white sheet for you and voilà: a ghost costume. It's classic, iconic even. And who could possibly be offended by someone wearing a white sheet?"

2. Your Environment Minister hops into the room in a plant-pot costume, and manages to get words out past the alcohol. "The other day, I saw a horror movie about a man who transformed into a half-@@ANIMAL@@ monster. The big twist was that it just wanted to be loved, just like I - er, we people do. Anyway, I've always thought you had a touch of animal magnetism about you. You could be the were-@@ANIMAL@@ that taught @@NAME@@ to love @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ as much as we love ourselves!"

3. "You really shouldn't drink so much," advises your geriatric and usually humorless Health Minister, who has made the shocking choice to dress as a sexy nurse. "If we're going to be sending a message to the public, it should be healthier lifestyle habits. You could wear a lab coat to the masquerade to announce an initiative promoting less alcohol for adults and fewer sweets for kids. Together we'll be the life of the party."

4. Your Minister of the Interior, dressed as a giant bat, steps out into the light before recoiling in horror. "Halloween is a chance to remind your fellow party-goers that you're always the one in charge. Plus, we could go as a pair - I as a bat, and you as a vampire! There's a nice cloak and some sharp canines your size in the wardrobe. Maybe we'll be able to trick, say, a dozen, two dozen potential dissidents to reveal something compromising."

5. Your Defense Minister marches into the room in full parade attire, shouting jovially. @@SLOGAN@@! The new film Captain @@NAME@@ has seen recruitment numbers triple overnight! Do your part - @@LEADER@@ needs YOU! A nice shield, a big flag as a cape, you'll be a superhero in no time! Well, minus the abs."

6. "What a shame that no one here is celebrating our history," complains your Education Minister, whose knight in shining armor costume reflects an almost blinding amount of light. "This party is the perfect time for you to announce a new educational campaign to recognize the most patriotic moments in the saga of @@NAME@@. I'm sure you can dress up as one of our nation's more distinguished heroes for such an important occasion."

7. "You have very classical proportions," whispers a creepy stranger directly into your ear. "Frankly, you'd look good in whatever costume - or none at all, really. I bet you could find someone drunk enough to even turn it into a fashion line."

Issue by The Grim Reaper
Edited by Lenyo

Note requested correction posted here.

[Drasnia]

Just got #620. The names are, in order, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, and @@RANDOMNAME@@ as can be assumed by the text itself.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

For your reference, have edited the text of In The Black's third option as follows:

“He has a point... The black market’s size is indicative of a free economy’s response to government over-regulation,” observes @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a far-more respectable looking businessman, presenting you with some colourful line-graphs to support his argument. “Relax those regulations, and economies of scale will allow legitimate private industry to triumph, and the proportion of economic activity dominated by the black market will likely fall. The black market is just a symptom. Wage laws, bureaucratic red tape, excessive industrial standards: they’re the real sickness.”

Explanation in this thread: viewtopic.php?f=13&t=391868

[PRaNeSHiA]

Do you know which issue concerns the right to bear arms?

[Australian rePublic]

McBoatface is a new Random surname

[Pencil Sharpeners 2]

The Issue

With housing costs rising at a ridiculous rate, younger citizens find themselves about ten times as unlikely to own a home as their parents. Perturbed youngsters, disgruntled businessmen and the obliviously privileged are shouting at you do to something; anything, really.

The Debate

1. “Where in Violet’s name are these poor kids supposed to live?” cries Ernie Flanders, an elderly, yet surprisingly hip, politician, speaking from the comfort of his second-home garden patio. “This new generation is our future, and we cannot turn away and leave them out in the cold. The government must take charge and push through a massive erection of affordable homes in order to shelter these youngsters. And the top 1% should pay for it; it’s about time that they started paying their fair share.”

2. “As if the youth of today needed any more excuses to be lazy,” sputters construction mogul and landlord extraordinaire Theresa Buytoleto. “The real problem here is obviously the draconian government planning regulations and ridiculous safety standards you have in place, stifling development and creative solutions. Let the free market take its course and I’ll have all kinds of houses up all over the place. All involved will profit: it will create jobs, get rid of superfluous greenery and settle the problem of homeless ingrat... eh, young people...”

3. “Oh heavens, all of that sounds completely unnecessary, if you ask me,” interjects Reginald Mombota, your Minister For Tea And Scones, while preparing warm milk for stray undergrads. “We needn’t do much to make housing more available, really. People like me and others of my generation have more than enough space, be it in our townhouses or the cottage up-north. So why can’t the little ragamuffins come stay with us? They could help out around the house to earn their keep, so to speak. Some of my neighbors might need a little government ‘encouragement’, but all in all, no complete overhaul required.”

4. “It’s so stupid,” says coffee shop barista Fleur Kumar, her milk-steamer fueled solely by resentment towards anyone over the age of forty. “The banks and the old people, like, ruined the economy and everything with their years of loose lending and grabbing anything with a roof; it’s so totally their fault. Haha, what if the government like maxed out taxes on second-homes and upped the interest rates on the oldies’ debts by, like, really, really lot of percentages or whatever. You know, to balance out the damages caused to the housing market. That would be so funny.”

5. “Oh where is your spirit of adventure?” exclaims Lucy Bond, chair of the homeowners association Heart Of Darkness. “What we have is an abundance of young people slouching around without house or home, correct? I say we send them off with a couple of muskets and bayonets to find their own place in the world; settle new colonies and bring the light of Pencil Sharpeners 2 to all corners of the world! It might affect domestic labor availability slightly, but think of the wealth we would collect with all of the new territory.”

Issue by The Unified Realms of Adregon

Edited by Gnejs

[Trotterdam]

A puppet got #556, and the religious option didn't show up. I'm not sure why, since while this nation had a low Religiousness, I'm pretty sure I hadn't banned it.

Maybe it's contingent on having unlocked the national religion field? The option doesn't even use the @@FAITH@@ macro, though.

[Plugo]

A Role To Play

The Issue

Perpetual loner and social outcast Eobard Hester made the news after holding five of his schoolmates hostage in a classroom for four hours, forcing them at sword-point (with an excellent replica Toledo Salamanca rapier) to play the popular role-playing game Trials and Trolls. Though everyone was released unharmed and the boy is now under arrest, many are asking if the game is a bad influence...

The Debate

1. “A few months ago, my little boy started playing this so-called game, and just the other day I caught him trying to fight our dog with a toy sword,” sobs distraught parent Doug Fellow. “These books can only teach children to solve problems with violence. Kids everywhere are forgetting that they’re not paladins, or wizards, or whatever! It’s dangerous, and you have to ban these corrupting codices, for the good of Plugo!”

2. “People need to mind their own business,” states self-proclaimed nerd and ‘TnT-otaku’ Venus Christensen, proudly wearing a ‘Jesus Saves And Takes Half Damage’ t-shirt. “This is a positive activity, which can teach you social skills, maths, story-telling, and stuff! Sure, sometimes a player who has too much soda will fling half a dozen four-sided dice at someone’s head, because you know, magic missiles, ha-ha, but no real harm done by that. If this psycho held his fellow students hostage, it was because he was mentally ill, not because he gamed. Maybe deal with the mental health funding gap, and leave our hobby alone?”

3.“Actually, I think that being taken hostage was our own fault,” suggests Emily Stockholm, one of the crime’s victims. “I mean, he had asked us to game with him for months, but we thought we were too cool to play with dice and toy soldiers, and we even made fun of him. Now I’ve been obliged to try out Trials and Trolls, I realise how amazing it is! You should add the game to the national curriculum. It’ll make us better people.”

Issue by Panthera corpus renatus

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive