NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Phydios]

#490 spotted! I think I got all the macros, but please do check me.

The Long And Winding Halls Of @@CAPITAL@@

The Issue

Earlier this month, one of your aides stumbled upon a makeshift encampment of missing bureaucrats in the bowels of @@CAPITAL@@. Their discovery has prompted debate on whether the government has become too large and unwieldy.

The Debate

"Is this the government or a damned shanty town?" belts conservative leader @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ while slamming down his proposal on your desk. "We need to slash everything! Slash every department in half and rein this bloated government back in! Cut John Q. Taxpayer a break and ax our wasteful spending!"

"Now wait. Let's not be too hasty," cautions @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of the Department of Housing and Urban Development for the Department of the Interior's Interior. "Sure, maybe the government is a teensie bit too big, but why can't we solve this with scissors instead of a hatchet? Let's appoint a Minister in charge of Governmental Oversight to examine our budget and see what reasonable cuts can be made. Trust me, @@LEADER@@, you don't want to go axing such crucial departments without some investigation."

"What we have discovered is the bureaucrat's natural habitat," soothingly narrates renowned naturalist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We have visited this tribal community several times since its discovery and have made great strides in understanding their unfamiliar ways. What was immediately clear to us was that this community would never be able to survive in our world. In the name of cultural preservation, we must protect their environment - in this case, the catacombs of @@NAME@@'s Capitol. Study and observe, but do not destroy, @@LEADER@@."

Issue by: The Self-Aware Colony of Luna Amore
Editor: Luna Amore

[Luna Amore]

#490 spotted! I think I got all the macros, but please do check me.

The Long And Winding Halls Of @@CAPITAL@@

The Issue

Earlier this month, one of your aides stumbled upon a makeshift encampment of missing bureaucrats in the bowels of @@CAPITAL@@. Their discovery has prompted debate on whether the government has become too large and unwieldy.

The Debate

"Is this the government or a damned shanty town?" belts conservative leader @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ while slamming down his proposal on your desk. "We need to slash everything! Slash every department in half and rein this bloated government back in! Cut John Q. Taxpayer a break and ax our wasteful spending!"

"Now wait. Let's not be too hasty," cautions @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of the Department of Housing and Urban Development for the Department of the Interior's Interior. "Sure, maybe the government is a teensie bit too big, but why can't we solve this with scissors instead of a hatchet? Let's appoint a Minister in charge of Governmental Oversight to examine our budget and see what reasonable cuts can be made. Trust me, @@LEADER@@, you don't want to go axing such crucial departments without some investigation."

"What we have discovered is the bureaucrat's natural habitat," soothingly narrates renowned naturalist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We have visited this tribal community several times since its discovery and have made great strides in understanding their unfamiliar ways. What was immediately clear to us was that this community would never be able to survive in our world. In the name of cultural preservation, we must protect their environment - in this case, the catacombs of @@NAME@@'s Capitol. Study and observe, but do not destroy, @@LEADER@@."

Issue by: The Self-Aware Colony of Luna Amore
Editor: Luna Amore

The last proponent, Nigel Verithorough, is not a @@random_name()@@. He is a renowned naturalist after all!

[Christian Democrats]

Issue #490 added.

[Trotterdam]

#489 Standing At Attention

The Issue

The latest army recruitment video surprised the armed forces when it achieved by far the most views and downloads of any recruitment media. An enterprising IT-specialist tracked the hits, finding that over 95% of them had come from gay video-sharing websites. Something about the video evidently sends a pulse of excitement directly to the homosexual male libido.

The Debate

1. "Sick and twisted internet perverts, degrading our fine military traditions with their disgusting ways," mutters retired officer @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while absentmindedly polishing his pistol. "How could anyone view our training exercises that way? I've watched this video over a hundred times, and I am fit to burst! I demand that you take the video down and punish those whom have encouraged its misuse. Shut down the filthy websites that are disseminating the video for unhealthy purposes, and prosecute those responsible!"

2. "This fabulous video has put the army's profile in the public eye," observes producer @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, after taking snapshots of a particularly strapping soldier. "Isn't that the point of recruitment videos in the first place? Why not raise the nation's profile a little further and produce 'Men Under Arms' calendars, photobooks and idol-memorabilia? That way, anyone who wants to can get behind a soldier. Mmmmm"

3. "This isn't right or fair!" blurts out lads-mag journalist @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "The gay guys have got their jollies, but where's the love for real, I mean straight men? Give us a sexy recruitment video with ladies in uniform in it too! How about some police-women playing with handcuffs, or some lady soldiers straddling really big guns? Come on, we straight guys want our government-approved titillation too!"

4. "Recruitment videos? That's the wrong approach," says Colonel @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Being in the army shouldn't be something you impulsively volunteer for. It should be a civic responsibility for every citizen who comes of age! Institute a strict draft, and then recruitment becomes a matter of simple logistics rather than filthy advertising."

5. "Guys, guys, guys!" says feminist icon @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@. "Seriously, this is guys talking about guys looking at guys, and guy-soldiers in a still guy-dominated army worrying if they're manly enough when other guys like to look at them! Can we talk about women in the armed forces instead? Make sure these recruitment videos star as many women as men, and have the depiction of the soldiers be wholly genderless. A uniform redesign to something suitably shapeless and face-concealing would help, for sure!"

Issue by: Candlewhisper Archive
Editor: Lenyo

Note: The macros in options 2, 3, and 5 weren't used with any pronouns to confirm their gender-specifity, but were still used in contexts where one would expect a character of a particular gender, some more obviously so (the one in option 3 explicitly identifies as a straight man) than others (the character in option 5 is a "feminist icon" and complains about the debate focussing too much on men, but it's possible for men to care about women's rights). Option 4 also appeared female for me, but with even less reason to think she has to be, so I kept her as neutral.

I did confirm that all names are random.

Incidentally, I rolled the same first names for both options 4 and 5, they're both called Sarah

[Christian Democrats]

Lol, I certainly hope that NS doesn't disseminate this issue to school nations.

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Lol, I certainly hope that NS doesn't disseminate this issue to school nations.

...as opposed to 8, 32, 52, 75, 136, 139...

Serious question: is there an issue filter that keeps classroom nations from getting certain issues? Or do we assume kids old enough to learn any lessons this game can teach about civics and unintended consequences, are also old enough to receive the full range of problems that world leaders actually have to contend with?

[Bears Armed]

Serious question: is there an issue filter that keeps classroom nations from getting certain issues?

Yes.

[Leppikania]

Lol, I certainly hope that NS doesn't disseminate this issue to school nations.

...as opposed to 8, 32, 52, 75, 136, 139...

Serious question: is there an issue filter that keeps classroom nations from getting certain issues? Or do we assume kids old enough to learn any lessons this game can teach about civics and unintended consequences, are also old enough to receive the full range of problems that world leaders actually have to contend with?

Yes. School class nations will not receive issues that are considered "adult" in nature.

[Lenyo]

Lol, I certainly hope that NS doesn't disseminate this issue to school nations.

Actually they receive but one dilemma, #489 over and over again.

[The Candy Of Bottles]

Friends, Teens, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears
The Issue

After the Citizenship and Immigration Services announced that they received a record number of applicants for naturalization, people have once again begun to debate whom should or should not be considered Kyriakos and Achilleus countrymen.

The Debate

"Well, blood really decides it all," claims armchair eugenicist Bill Fellow. "Without the genes that allowed for such historical greatness, our ancestors could never have built such a fine country. To protect their timeless achievements, we must settle once and for all that a citizen of Teen at age Kyriakos and Achilleus can only come from ethnically pure parents. Other races cannot pollute our citizenry, lest they undermine the very values that the nation depends upon."

Accept

"Hey, that's absolutely horrific!" hollers Beth Bush, a Lilliputian immigrant. "Teen at age Kyriakos and Achilleus needs to be open to all colors, creeds and cultures that come here to live a better life. Nothing justifies punishing people for having the 'wrong' birthplace or family tree. Everyone born in Teen at age Kyriakos and Achilleus deserves the right for equal treatment! And even if you weren't born here, it should be easy to join the ranks of your fellow citizens!"

Accept

"Anyone hypothetically can become a citizen, but they first need to fully understand our way of life," remarks civics teacher Akira Sato. "If you're not ready to learn the values that are the bedrock of Teen at age Kyriakos and Achilleus, you've got no business being part of our Constitutional Monarchy. That means memorizing all forty verses of the national anthem and being able to list all 1,024 cantons in alphabetical order, like any true citizen of Teen at age Kyriakos and Achilleus can. Only those who pass a stringent exam can prove themselves to be true Teens."

Accept

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by: The Free Eldership of Eysyssla
Editor: Lenyo

Found someone asking for help on this one.

Edit: He identified it as 491.

[The City-State of Mycenae]

Is there an issue called "The Unbearable Lightness Of Government?"

[Leppikania]

Is there an issue called "The Unbearable Lightness Of Government?"

Yes. I got it recently. Not sure if it's in the issue list yet though.

[Trotterdam]

Is there an issue called "The Unbearable Lightness Of Government?"

Where did you hear that name, if you don't know if it's an actual issue?

If you have it, please post it!

...And The Candy Of Bottles, if you're going to bother reposting someone else's issue, you really should clean up the macros. Especially since that nation had a really weird name.

EDIT: Oh FINE, I'll do it.

#491 Friends, @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears

The Issue

After the Citizenship and Immigration Services announced that they received a record number of applicants for naturalization, people have once again begun to debate whom should or should not be considered @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ countrymen.

The Debate

1. "Well, blood really decides it all," claims armchair eugenicist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Without the genes that allowed for such historical greatness, our ancestors could never have built such a fine country. To protect their timeless achievements, we must settle once and for all that a citizen of @@NAME@@ can only come from ethnically pure parents. Other races cannot pollute our citizenry, lest they undermine the very values that the nation depends upon."

2. "Hey, that's absolutely horrific!" hollers @@RANDOMNAME@@, a Lilliputian immigrant. "@@NAME@@ needs to be open to all colors, creeds, and cultures that come here to live a better life. Nothing justifies punishing people for having the 'wrong' birthplace or family tree. Everyone born in @@NAME@@ deserves the right for equal treatment! And even if you weren't born here, it should be easy to join the ranks of your fellow citizens!"

3. "Anyone hypothetically can become a citizen, but they first need to fully understand our way of life," remarks civics teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If you're not ready to learn the values that are the bedrock of @@NAME@@, you've got no business being part of our @@TYPE@@. That means memorizing all forty verses of the national anthem and being able to list all 1,024 cantons in alphabetical order, like any true citizen of @@NAME@@ can. Only those who pass a stringent exam can prove themselves to be true @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@."

Issue by: Eysyssla
Editor: Lenyo

I added an Oxford comma in option 2 that was missing in the original.

[Christian Democrats]

#491: Friends, @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears [Eysyssla; ed:Lenyo]

The Issue
After the Citizenship and Immigration Services announced that they received a record number of applicants for naturalization, people have once again begun to debate whom should or should not be considered @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ countrymen.

The Debate
1. "Well, blood really decides it all," claims armchair eugenicist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Without the genes that allowed for such historical greatness, our ancestors could never have built such a fine country. To protect their timeless achievements, we must settle once and for all that a citizen of @@NAME@@ can only come from ethnically pure parents. Other races cannot pollute our citizenry, lest they undermine the very values that the nation depends upon."

2. "Hey, that's absolutely horrific!" hollers @@RANDOMNAME@@, a Lilliputian immigrant. "@@NAME@@ needs to be open to all colors, creeds, and cultures that come here to live a better life. Nothing justifies punishing people for having the 'wrong' birthplace or family tree. Everyone born in @@NAME@@ deserves the right for equal treatment! And even if you weren't born here, it should be easy to join the ranks of your fellow citizens!"

3. "Anyone hypothetically can become a citizen, but they first need to fully understand our way of life," remarks civics teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If you're not ready to learn the values that are the bedrock of @@NAME@@, you've got no business being part of our @@TYPE@@. That means memorizing all forty verses of the national anthem and being able to list all 1,024 cantons in alphabetical order, like any true citizen of @@NAME@@ can. Only those who pass a stringent exam can prove themselves to be true @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@."

Issue added.

I added an Oxford comma in option 2 that was missing in the original.

Did the issues editors add an Oxford comma, or did you add an Oxford comma not included in the issue?

[Outer Sparta]

Is there an issue called "The Unbearable Lightness Of Government?"

Yes. I got it recently. Not sure if it's in the issue list yet though.

It's the issue where you axe your absurdly huge government. One of the effects from my puppet was:
soup kitchens are the only things doing roaring business

[Trotterdam]

It's the issue where you axe your absurdly huge government. One of the effects from my puppet was:
soup kitchens are the only things doing roaring business

I believe that was originally #370 Abolished Tax Code Crushes @@NAME@@, which may have been overhauled in light of the changes to #221 Outdated Tax Code Crushing @@NAME@@?. If you have access to the new version, please post it. (Remember, you need to pick the first option on #221 to get it.)

[Outer Sparta]

It's the issue where you axe your absurdly huge government. One of the effects from my puppet was:
soup kitchens are the only things doing roaring business

I believe that was originally #370 Abolished Tax Code Crushes @@NAME@@, which may have been overhauled in light of the changes to #221 Outdated Tax Code Crushing @@NAME@@?. If you have access to the new version, please post it. (Remember, you need to pick the first option on #221 to get it.)

OK. Now I get it. But the issue my puppet got was "The Unbearable Lightness Of Government." Did the issue change names, then?

[Trotterdam]

OK. Now I get it. But the issue my puppet got was "The Unbearable Lightness Of Government." Did the issue change names, then?

Maybe. I won't know for sure until someone posts it.

Though looking at The City-State of Mycenae (the nation that started this)'s history, it looks likely that it's a followup to #490 The Long And Winding Halls Of @@CAPITAL@@ option 1.

Can you look through your puppet's issue history to see which issue you got immediately before that one? And for that matter, what number the issue had? (Even if the link doesn't work anymore due to having answered the issue, the URL will still include the issue number.)

...Actually, wait a moment. Looking at the pretitle, it's likely The City-State of Mycenae is your puppet. Well, I still want to know the issue number.

[Drachmaland]

I can positively say that a nation that selected option 490.1 received Issue #370 but now titled "The Unbearable Lightness of Government".

[Outer Sparta]

OK. Now I get it. But the issue my puppet got was "The Unbearable Lightness Of Government." Did the issue change names, then?

Maybe. I won't know for sure until someone posts it.

Though looking at The City-State of Mycenae (the nation that started this)'s history, it looks likely that it's a followup to #490 The Long And Winding Halls Of @@CAPITAL@@ option 1.

Can you look through your puppet's issue history to see which issue you got immediately before that one? And for that matter, what number the issue had? (Even if the link doesn't work anymore due to having answered the issue, the URL will still include the issue number.)

...Actually, wait a moment. Looking at the pretitle, it's likely The City-State of Mycenae is your puppet. Well, I still want to know the issue number.

Mycenae got issue 490 and immediately after that got isssue 370. Then yes, issue 370 is The Unbearable Lightness Of Government.

[Christian Democrats]

Does anybody else want to confirm that Issue #370 is now titled "The Unbearable Lightness of Government"?

[Lenyo]

Does anybody else want to confirm that Issue #370 is now titled "The Unbearable Lightness of Government"?

I'll confirm it.

[Christian Democrats]

Does anybody else want to confirm that Issue #370 is now titled "The Unbearable Lightness of Government"?

I'll confirm it.

Changed.

[Trotterdam]

I've set some snares, and come to the conclusion that #490 option 1 is now the only way to chain into #370, as #221 no longer does.

#221 may in fact have been taken out of circulation completely for a revision, since few nations are answering it and many of them seem to have been inactive for a while (and so had the issue banked), although I think it's back now since I've also seen a few cases on more active nations.

I urge anyone who receives #221 or #370 to compare them against the current versions in the thread and tell us if there are any changes (or even if there aren't).

[Drachmaland]

Issue #221 was changed quite recently: viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88&p=26811063#p26811063