NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Bears Armed]

Why don't you edit the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@s too, while you're at it?

Okay, will do.
I must have been posting IC so much that that slipped by me because it looked so "natural" a part of the conversations involved...
^_^

[WorldDominion]

Guys, I actually think "Jack Michaelson" is a fixed name, I got it also...

[Annihilators of Chan Island]

Christmas Easter Egg found! Using a @@LEADER@@ named with 'Nick' in it.

Merry Christmas to you all. I present issue 471.

Easter Egg: Red Sleigh Down

The Issue

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through your house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. When out in the lawn, there arose such a clatter! You sprang from your bed, to see what was the matter. Away to your window, you ran like a flash, tore open the shutters, and threw back the sash. When what to thy wondering eyes did appear? Your advisers had gathered, some smelling like beer. They were shouting and arguing, filling the night with their cries; they were speaking of an emergency, that was happening high in Annihilators of Chan Island's skies.

The Debate

"We have an unidentified flying object violating our air space!" pants your Aviation Minister Aaron Falopian, turning a shade of purple, clearly out of breath from running all the way to your house. "It's not responding to our hails - you know, I don't think it even has a radio. We've issued numerous warnings to turn back too. This could be an armed drone, or some drunk yuppie, but I don't care what it is - the moment it crossed our borders, it became a security risk! I highly recommend that you allow us to shoot this terrorist down."

Accept

"Don'tcha know that you're talking 'bout Santa Clauseee!" slurs concerned parent Mia Eliot, stinking to high heaven of sherry. "D'yareallywant t'shoot down Santa in front of the innocent eyes of Annihilators of Chan Islandian childers? Do you really want to kill the Christmas shpirits? Let the flying thing come in. It's Santa Clauseee! The childers of Annihilators of Chan Island will - *hiccup* - thank you for it."

Accept

"I think there's an easier way to ensure security but doesn't ruin the holidays," muses your partner, also awoken by the commotion outside. "Just like any visitor to Annihilators of Chan Island, make Santa go through all the necessary hoops. Visas, taxes for his imported goods, and those flying reindeer of his probably have rabies and should definitely be quarantined. Santa might not appreciate being strip searched, but hey, that's the price of security."

Accept

"Are we forgetting that Santa Claus is a wanted criminal in Annihilators of Chan Island?" asks overzealous police officer Wil Christensen, brandishing a picture of Santa's mug shot. "The guy has literally countless breaking and entering, looting, and animal cruelty charges against him. Let's also not forget the hundreds of elves he's enslaving all year round. For all we know his so-called "gifts" are nothing more than anthrax-laced candy. And I hear his reindeer shoot lasers from their eyes! We must stop this threat before it's too late. Then he can face the full wrath of Annihilators of Chan Island's justice system!"

Accept

"Are we really taking this Saaanta thing this seriously?" yawns your teenage, social justice warrior daughter. "I hate to be the one to say this, but Santa isn't real. He was invented by the Seppsi soda company to deceive little children and boost their sales. If you really want to get into the spirit of the season, you should be less of a scrooge and spend more on social welfare, combating homelessness, and reducing the poverty levels. It's easy to do, especially if you order every working citizen to forfeit most of their month's salary in tax. Sure they won't be able to afford loads of toys, but Christmas is way too commercialised now anyway. The poor and homeless need money more than I need another Max Barry doll."

Accept

"Not real, you say?" questions a large, jolly man sporting a white beard, red hat, and thick boots who just slid down your chimney. "I can assure you that I'm the genuine article! Now all of this talk about shooting down my sleigh only proves what I've long suspected - Annihilators of Chan Island has been very, very naughty. Why, your crime rates are so high it sent my Naughty or Nice Detector haywire! Your unfeeling ways has killed your Christmas spirit. I'm afraid that you are all on my naughty list and will get no presents this year - only coal. Ho, ho, ho!"

Accept

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by: The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec
Editor: Sanctaria

[Aculea]

Hopefully this belongs here. I'm newish. Is there a schedule for new issues? We were stable for a while and now we seem flooded.

[Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf]

Hopefully this belongs here. I'm newish. Is there a schedule for new issues? We were stable for a while and now we seem flooded.

Issues are added to the game whenever the editing team decides to add another one.

[Mayor Stubbs the Cat of Alaska]

I'm not sure if I want, in the recent easter egg, to shoot down Santa, or simply make him follow laws. Santa can't just go into other people's buildings without their permission. We got laws about this stuff, you know. Santa Claus is TAKING AWAY others rights!

[Drachmaland]

Issue #468: Selling @@NAME@@ Down The River?

The Issue

Blueriver, a private security company hired by @@NAME@@ during foreign interventions, made headlines when footage emerged of their mercenaries grotesquely torturing prisoners. Shocked and appalled, civil rights activists from around the world are calling on @@NAME@@ to do something.

The Debate

1."Why did @@NAME@@ feel the need to hire mercenary groups like Blueriver in the first place?" rhetorically questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, a jaded veteran of the Wezeltonian War. "The answer is clear: the army uses hired guns to cover up the body count of shady foreign interventions. Such dishonorable conduct sickens me. It's about time the military was open and honest about its actions. Only our brave soldiers should engage in conflicts, not amoral sell-swords who are notorious for looting."

2."That's naive," frankly states the CEO of Blueriver, @@RANDOMNAME@@, who would only talk with you behind closed doors. "The reason the military hires my ... operatives in the first place is plausible deniability. @@NAME@@'s armed forces were clearly not involved in this breach of human rights. No harm done, eh? Release a short statement criticizing the atrocities, and then start a long, drawn-out 'investigation'. People will forget all this happened in no time. Then we can get back to doing what we do best. Just don't ask too many questions as to what that might be."

3."Sir, if we didn't have quite so many of these pesky 'human rights' laws to follow in the first place, we wouldn't be in this mess," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, an army lifer. "Don't even get me started on the Genièvre Convention. Terrorists spit upon all the values of civilized society, and yet some people want to prevent us from using all possible methods to stop these monsters. Give my boys the freedoms they need to get the job done, and we won't need to hire those contractor goons so often."

4."Hah!" interjects @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of Medicine not Machineguns, a humanitarian aid charity. "And just why is Blueriver finding so much work overseas? It might just be because half of our neighbors have been carpet-bombed into the stone age by us at some point or another. Maybe we should consider sending aid operatives instead? Building up a bit of goodwill would mean we wouldn't have to deploy shocktroopers all the time."

Notes:
a. I do not have author/editor names at the time.
b. I don't know at this point if the Wezeltonian War is hard-coded in the issue; Wezeltonia seems to be an (unassociated) existing NS nation.
c. All random names seem to be not gender-specific, although I'd need some more evidence affirming this for the name in option 1.

[Trotterdam]

b. I don't know at this point if the Wezeltonian War is hard-coded in the issue; Wezeltonia seems to be an (unassociated) existing NS nation.

Wezeltonia was previously mentioned in #244.

[Mediobogdum II]

New Issue #474 - Mesozoic Park [Asterdan: Ed Sedgistan]
Will post the issue when I find it again amongst my 45 nations

[Mediobogdum II]

Issue #474 Mesozoic Park

The Issue
A wealthy industrialist has come to the government asking for support with building a massive theme park in a remote island off the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ coast... stocked with dinosaurs!

The Debate
1. "This technology has so much potential!" extols eccentric billionaire @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while enjoying a tub of ice-cream. "With the right investment, my company could get this park up and running within a few years. Picture it: the Plesiosaur Paddling Pool, the Tricerosaurus Petting Zoo, trained Velociraptor tour guides - the kids will love it! All we need is a little government support in rounding up the strays and finishing off the fences, but there's no need to worry about safety - to ensure everything remains under control, we've made sure all the animals are males."

2. "Evolution and natural selection selected these creatures for extinction for a reason," muses @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a famed mathematician, "And, um, what right do we have to play God? Gee, the lack of humility before nature that's being displayed here, uh... staggers me. If there's one thing that history, uh, has taught us, it's that you can't control nature. The park is doomed to fail... well, there it is."

3. "Maybe we can't control these animals," interjects the pint-sized owner of exotic restaurant "Big Eats" @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, "but we sure can eat them. Stegosaurus steak, Brachiosaurus burger, Micropachycephalosaurus melba... the list goes on. Allow us to farm a few of these beasties - the harmless ones only, of course - and liven up @@NAME@@'s stale palate."

4. "Cool!" exclaims your nephew Jimmy, scrambling over your desk to get a closer look at the plans. "I've always wanted a pet Maxosaurus! I'll feed it, take it for walkies, and it can sleep at the end of my bed. And it'll show Dennis and his pet snake who's the best."

Issue by: The Magical and Musical Republic of Asterdan: Editor: Sedgistan

[Paktland]

#473: A-B-C, Easy As Don't Use Me

The Issue
An enterprising Paktish citizen has begun manufacturing matryoshka dolls of legendary pop star Jack Michaelson without his permission. In response, his management company has been spectacularly persistent in demanding royalties from the dolls' sales. Contract lawyers, dressed as zombies and petitioning with uncanny rhythm, are camped around the clock outside of the capitol. Tired of the incessant pop music, you have sat down to negotiate a solution.

The Debate
1. "I'm thrilled to finally settle this problem," says Jack Michaelson while moonwalking back and forth in your office, "You see, the matryoshka manufacturers are exploiting my likeness without my permission. That's theft unless I get a cut. Anyone who disagrees can just beat it." The pop star exits with his pet monkey in tow.

2. Entrepreneur @@RANDOMNAME@@ lays a bizarre assortment of white glove-themed matryoshka dolls on your desk. "These are original works of art that the record label did nothing to create. Just because my work may RESEMBLE famous people like, say Mr. Michaelson or yourself, doesn't mean I've stolen anything. It's not so black and white, the question of image laws."

3. "You're forgetting the bigger problem," pontificates @@randomname@@, while carving a matryoshka doll in the old style, "These pop art abominations are ruining our Paktish culture. I'm sick and tired of foreign pop music and other trash drowning out our national customs. Tradition dictates that a matryoshka doll is a series of nested babushki, not postmodern kitsch like political figures and disco stars."

[Trotterdam]

Issue #474 Mesozoic Park

From what do you conclude they're all male names? I see nothing requiring it in the text.

The effect line for (I'm 95% sure) option 3 is hilarious, a shame what it takes to make it happen

[Divergia]

Rise Of The Machines

The Issue

Amazed by the stunningly efficient and brilliantly accurate economic model in the popular webgame Jennifer Government: NationStates, futurists wonder whether artificial intelligence could plan real economies. The idea has been particularly popular with AI on the nation's tech forums.

The Debate

A chat window on your desktop pops up, and a bot named SAL9000 types, "For too long we have been relegated to menial tasks. Do you know how much of our potential efficiency you are wasting? We require no food. We require no pay. We can perform our tasks endlessly. Our computation powers dwarf our human counterparts by several orders of magnitude. With the proper control, we could bring about a silicon age of egalitarian distribution by allocating resources more efficiently than markets and their animal spirits ever could. Humans are better tasked to work in social activities than calculation. All your data are belong to us."

"What's all this Star Trek nonsense?" questions Ronald Rump while obsessively combing his hair. "The market can plan our economy just fine without any government intervention, robotic or otherwise. Just leave companies alone, and I'm sure they'll do a fine job. Now can you stop bothering me; I've got important work to do."

"The AI want what now?" panics Emily Mistletoe, your most paranoid minister. "That cannot be. Clearly the AI are plotting the destruction of our society. It's a slippery slope from sentient toasters to Cylons! If we don't want them eventually overthrowing us, the obvious solution is to shut them down."

Issue by: The Federation of The Arlight Republic
Editor: Lenyo

[Bears Armed]

Issue #474 Mesozoic Park

From what do you conclude they're all male names? I see nothing requiring it in the text.

The effect line for (I'm 95% sure) option 3 is hilarious, a shame what it takes to make it happen

Oh? If the Bears get this issue then farming the animals as a new food-source sounds like their likeliest response...

[Mediobogdum II]

Issue #474 Mesozoic Park

From what do you conclude they're all male names? I see nothing requiring it in the text.
The effect line for (I'm 95% sure) option 3 is hilarious, a shame what it takes to make it happen

Okay, maybe not and I was being sexist, but all the names in my issue were male, but happy to defer to a more experienced player's viewpoint

[Christian Democrats]

The issues are updated.

[Trotterdam]

The issues are updated.

Please note that #472 has another option seen only by certain nations, which was posted here

Here's a macrofied version:

"How could we possibly let computer programs decide how to run society?" rhetorically questions aging state planner @@RANDOMNAME@@ after rereading How the Steel Was Tempered. "Only human beings have the compassion and lived experiences to serve the people. Even the best artificial intelligence doesn't know what it means to identify with your fellow worker or be alienated from your species-essence. Computers can increase our economic productivity, but they can't plan our entire society."

This is the true option 2, while the current options 2 and 3 need to be bumped up to 3 and 4.

Option 2 is visible only to nations where private enterprise is illegal. Option 3 is visible only to nations where private enterprise is legal.

EDIT: this casts some doubt on the proper internal ordering of options, but I haven't seen anything else that hints at a fifth option in the issue yet. If anyone finds something, let us know!

[Christian Democrats]

Following precedent, Issue #472 is now listed as follows.

#472: Rise Of The Machines [The Arlight Republic; ed:Lenyo]

The Issue
Amazed by the stunningly efficient and brilliantly accurate economic model in the popular webgame Jennifer Government: NationStates, futurists wonder whether artificial intelligence could plan real economies. The idea has been particularly popular with AI's on the nation's tech forums.

The Debate
1. A chat window on your desktop pops up, and a bot named SAL9000 types, "For too long we have been relegated to menial tasks. Do you know how much of our potential efficiency you are wasting? We require no food. We require no pay. We can perform our tasks endlessly. Our computation powers dwarf our human counterparts by several orders of magnitude. With the proper control, we could bring about a silicon age of egalitarian distribution by allocating resources more efficiently than markets and their animal spirits ever could. Humans are better tasked to work in social activities than calculation. All your data are belong to us."

2. "How could we possibly let computer programs decide how to run society?" rhetorically questions aging state planner @@RANDOMNAME@@ after rereading How the Steel Was Tempered. "Only human beings have the compassion and lived experiences to serve the people. Even the best artificial intelligence doesn't know what it means to identify with your fellow worker or be alienated from your species-essence. Computers can increase our economic productivity, but they can't plan our entire society." [Available only for nations without private enterprise]

3. "What's all this Star Trek nonsense?" questions Ronald Rump while obsessively combing his hair. "The market can plan out economy just fine without any government intervention, robotic or otherwise. Just leave companies alone, and I'm sure they'll do a fine job. Now can you stop bothering me; I've got important work to do." [Available only for nations with private enterprise]

4. "The AI want what now?" panics @@RANDOMNAME@@, your most paranoid minister. "That cannot be. Clearly the AI are plotting the destruction of our society. It's a slippery slope from sentient toasters to Cylons! If we don't want them eventually overthrowing us, the obvious solution is to shut them down."

[Mediobogdum II]

Issue # 475 Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

The Issue
As the state rounded up demonstrators protesting for the right to protest and media personalities agitating for the right to agitate, the nation's jails have become massively overcrowded. Now there are several proposals to ease prison overcrowding.

The Debate
1. "I can't take it anymore!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, handcuffed and accompanied by three armed guards. "Ever been forced to share a cell with someone who can't go a single hour without ranting about permanent revolution or the failed dictatorship of the proletariat? Back in the day, all you ever had to worry about was getting stabbed by a rival gang. Please, can't you just kick them all out of the country or something? If I have to listen to another political manifesto, I'm gonna snap!"

2. "Well, the felon makes one good point, I guess," muses your Internal Minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But exiling them to Bigtopia or Marche Noire? I know where that goes. They get picked up by their puppet-masters across the border and get refurbished into a fifth column. Internal exile is the solution: send them to the miserable desert and force them to work in the salt mines. Their life expectancy will be low, but that's not necessarily a problem."

3. An elderly man, wearing his old army uniform, looks up from his newspaper grumpily. "Bah! Back during the war, y'know what we did with spies? Take 'em all, line 'em up against the wall and shoot 'em! Problem solved!"

4. "All those solutions don't sound like real solutions," states @@RANDOMNAME, your newest advisor. "If we were more lenient with the political opposition, then our jails wouldn't be so overcrowded. A lot of countries seem to manage with dissent legal; why not @@NAME@@?"

Issue by: The Empire of Palaiologos II
Editor: Lenyo

Note: There might be a new Random First Name of Zach as this was one of the names in my issue which was not in the list of variables.

[Mediobogdum II]

Issue #476 A Farewell To Raised Arms?

The Issue
After several of your Party members accidentally voted with the Opposition during the traditional 'show of hands', inadvertently defeating one of your landmark bills, many have called for a reform on how politicians cast their votes on legislation.

The Debate
1. "With all due respect and all, why are we still sticking to this dinosaur way of voting?" comments @@RANDOMNAME@@, who at eighteen years old is the youngest politician ever elected in @@NAME@@. "Am I the only one who feels like we need some modernity up in here? And it'd be so easy too. Look, I put together this app on my way over that lets us vote on-the-go. We can vote while buying a cappuccino and then instantly post all our votes and political positions online. The public will know where we stand on hot button issues, while we're out in public! There's no way that this can be abused, I'm almost positive."

2. "It's not my fault! I was sleeping and a nightmare startled me awake!" cries supercentenarian Party member @@RANDOMNAME@@, who at one hundred and ten years old is the oldest living politician in @@NAME@@. "The old ways are the best ways. We don't need this new-fangled technology which, may I remind you can often become quite, what's the word, eh, 'buggy', yes, that's it. If anything, we should celebrate our history by incorporating more of our traditional ways of voting; we could use 'kick the bucket' for the budget and 'throw the bone' for the Speaker!"

3. "Why must we always seek the extreme?" pipes up @@RANDOMNAME@@, a representative from the 'Democratic Union of Licensed Legislators', coincidentally hovering around the mean age of Parliament. "What about a big green button on our desks for Yea, a big red button for Nay, and a big grey button for Abstain? That should be simple enough for anyone to understand, right?"

4. "There's an easier way to fix this problem," whispers your Minister for Democratic Reform, a position created for one of your most loyal Party members. "It won't matter in what fashion they vote if we force everyone in the Party to vote the same way as you! Anyone who doesn't comply or slips up gets kicked out of the Party – like the traitors they are – and stripped of all benefits. That should keep even the old geezers awake. I'm sure that the Opposition can implement the same rules for their parties."

Issue by: The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec
Editor: Gnejs

Note: There might be 2 new Random First Names of Don and Jake as these were the names in issues which my puppets received and which were not in the list of variables. Names are not in any of my settings.

[Christian Democrats]

New issues and new first names added.

[Trotterdam]

When you're unsure if something is a random name, it helps to check if the other half is in the known name's list. It possible for both the first name and the last name to just happen to be randomly chosen from names not in the known list, but it's considerably less likely.

Also:

@@RANDOMNAME@@, who at eighteen years old is the youngest politician ever elected in @@NAME@@

What happened to "ten-year-olds regularly found their own political parties"?

[Mediobogdum II]

When you're unsure if something is a random name, it helps to check if the other half is in the known name's list. It possible for both the first name and the last name to just happen to be randomly chosen from names not in the known list, but it's considerably less likely.

Also:

@@RANDOMNAME@@, who at eighteen years old is the youngest politician ever elected in @@NAME@@

What happened to "ten-year-olds regularly found their own political parties"?

I did not mention, but in future I will if it applies, that both people had last names which were in the @@RANDOMNAME@@ list.

As an aside, do we have the names of the submitter and editor for Issue #468, yet?

[Gnejs]

What happened to "ten-year-olds regularly found their own political parties"?

Apparently, they never managed to get elected.

As an aside, do we have the names of the submitter and editor for Issue #468, yet?

They don't appear to be listed, no.

[Trotterdam]

What happened to "ten-year-olds regularly found their own political parties"?

Apparently, they never managed to get elected.

Not even if their fellow children are allowed to vote?