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by Umbratellus » Wed Apr 06, 2022 5:41 pm
by Rocain Founder » Thu Apr 07, 2022 7:11 am
by Paffnia » Thu Apr 07, 2022 8:24 pm
by Rocain Founder » Fri Apr 08, 2022 4:32 am
Paffnia wrote:I have answered the following sequences on puppets, and every one led to #1379. Unfortunately, I didn't record stats, and it's been a long time since then.
#1375.1; #1376.1; #1377.1; #1378.1
#1375.1; #1376.1; #1377.3; #1378.2
#1375.3; #1376.1; #1377.1; #1378.2
#1375.3; #1376.1; #1377.2; #1378.1
#1375.3; #1376.1; #1377.3; #1378.1
#1375.5; #1376.1; #1377.1; #1378.2
#1375.5; #1376.1; #1377.3; #1378.2
by The First Congratulatory Union » Fri Apr 08, 2022 8:01 pm
#1505.3:
“No way,” decries Arms Manufacturing spokesperson Arthur Nimoy, as he quickly attempts to delete the browser history on his laptop. “I’m sick of Big Government wasting our tax money and regulating every minute of our lives. Government websites should just redirect people to the vastly superior options that are available from the private sector — and don’t you dare interfere with private websites if you value free speech! Without the need for an army of government IT dorks, us ordinary citizens should be able to get a decent tax cut.”
by The Candy Of Bottles » Sat Apr 09, 2022 5:43 pm
The First Congratulatory Union wrote:Hi, Jutsa here; just got issue #1505 on this alt along with option 3 (internally marked as "2"). I also have all other options, including option 4. Given Giovanniland has socialism, I suspect this is an option specific to nations with capitalism.#1505.3:
“No way,” decries Arms Manufacturing spokesperson Arthur Nimoy, as he quickly attempts to delete the browser history on his laptop. “I’m sick of Big Government wasting our tax money and regulating every minute of our lives. Government websites should just redirect people to the vastly superior options that are available from the private sector — and don’t you dare interfere with private websites if you value free speech! Without the need for an army of government IT dorks, us ordinary citizens should be able to get a decent tax cut.”
I imagine Arthur Nimoy is random, but I'm bad with references so who knows. ;p
by Trotterdam » Sat Apr 09, 2022 7:09 pm
by Rocain Founder » Sun Apr 10, 2022 3:44 pm
“Well, we always knew this day would come,” laments renowned industry manager @@RANDOMNAME@@. “The important thing now is to ensure that the most industry-friendly option is pursued. If we hook ourselves up to one of the established cap-and-trade systems, we can go shopping in the backwater signatory states and buy enough permits to allow @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ companies to continue producing at their current rates. Our industry won’t technically reduce their emissions, but it’s an ‘international’ treaty, right?”
by Fhaengshia » Tue Apr 12, 2022 6:40 pm
#1508: Kicking Out the Competition [Mertagne; ed: Electrum]
The Issue
The top clubs in the nation’s %%ANIMAL%%ball League have expressed interest in leaving the domestic competition to join the closed, elite %%REGION%% %%ANIMAL%%ball Super League instead. %%ANIMAL%%ball fans are worried that the state of competition in %%NATION%% will suffer as a result.
The Debate
1. “Fans. Before. Funds.” gasps %%ANIMAL%%ball fan Edward Bonaparte, putting his vuvuzela down after blowing it between each word. “Any plucky team should have the chance to compete against the best through gumption and a love of the sport. Our teams shouldn’t be denied this chance just because the filthy rich teams want to run off to the Super League to schmooze with the elites. They should remain where they are. Come on, ref!”
2. “This is the invisible boot of the free market at work!” says Katniss Han, the owner of Athletico %%CAPITAL%% who’s been too busy to attend her own team’s matches for over two years. “The opportunities are endless. Television rights, tourists flocking to our shiny new stadiums, the exposure of our players across %%REGION%%! Besides, what would you rather watch? Athletico beating the Tumbleweed Minnows into a pulp or Athletico squaring off against the likes of Foxchester United in a weekly, televised spectacle? I know which one I’d choose.”
3. “If you ask me, there’s a better way,” claims your groundskeeper, a connoisseur of obscure sports. “I’ve seen gridiron played over in the United Federation where the worst teams get the best rookies from a draft system. Picks, fair and simple, just like how I choose the flowers for your garden each year. Why not enforce that system here? It’d certainly level the playing field and remove all the exclusivity and unlimited money surrounding the established teams.”
by Outer Sparta » Tue Apr 12, 2022 10:03 pm
Fhaengshia wrote:Found a new one :-)#1508: Kicking Out the Competition [Mertagne; ed: Electrum]
The Issue
The top clubs in the nation’s %%ANIMAL%%ball League have expressed interest in leaving the domestic competition to join the closed, elite %%REGION%% %%ANIMAL%%ball Super League instead. %%ANIMAL%%ball fans are worried that the state of competition in %%NATION%% will suffer as a result.
The Debate
1. “Fans. Before. Funds.” gasps %%ANIMAL%%ball fan Edward Bonaparte, putting his vuvuzela down after blowing it between each word. “Any plucky team should have the chance to compete against the best through gumption and a love of the sport. Our teams shouldn’t be denied this chance just because the filthy rich teams want to run off to the Super League to schmooze with the elites. They should remain where they are. Come on, ref!”
2. “This is the invisible boot of the free market at work!” says Katniss Han, the owner of Athletico %%CAPITAL%% who’s been too busy to attend her own team’s matches for over two years. “The opportunities are endless. Television rights, tourists flocking to our shiny new stadiums, the exposure of our players across %%REGION%%! Besides, what would you rather watch? Athletico beating the Tumbleweed Minnows into a pulp or Athletico squaring off against the likes of Foxchester United in a weekly, televised spectacle? I know which one I’d choose.”
3. “If you ask me, there’s a better way,” claims your groundskeeper, a connoisseur of obscure sports. “I’ve seen gridiron played over in the United Federation where the worst teams get the best rookies from a draft system. Picks, fair and simple, just like how I choose the flowers for your garden each year. Why not enforce that system here? It’d certainly level the playing field and remove all the exclusivity and unlimited money surrounding the established teams.”
edits for macros
by The Candy Of Bottles » Fri Apr 15, 2022 7:14 pm
by Valentine Z » Sat Apr 16, 2022 5:01 am
♪ If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down ! ♪
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
(✿◠‿◠) ☆ \(^_^)/ ☆
♡ Issues Thread ♡ Photography Stuff ♡ Project: Save F7. ♡ Stats Analysis ♡
♡ The Sixty! ♡ Valentian Stories! ♡ Gwen's Adventures! ♡
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.
Selanese Empire wrote:Not many would notice except for the little cult surrounding him.
[Sig] "Far-left neo-Valentinist party “Democratic” finally banned after investigations find that it sponsored anti-Selanese movements overseas."
by Rocain Founder » Sun Apr 17, 2022 3:39 pm
by Valentine Z » Tue Apr 19, 2022 12:50 am
♪ If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down ! ♪
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
(✿◠‿◠) ☆ \(^_^)/ ☆
♡ Issues Thread ♡ Photography Stuff ♡ Project: Save F7. ♡ Stats Analysis ♡
♡ The Sixty! ♡ Valentian Stories! ♡ Gwen's Adventures! ♡
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.
Selanese Empire wrote:Not many would notice except for the little cult surrounding him.
[Sig] "Far-left neo-Valentinist party “Democratic” finally banned after investigations find that it sponsored anti-Selanese movements overseas."
by Giovanniland » Tue Apr 19, 2022 4:24 pm
Valentine Z wrote:New Issue! I have not touched any of the macros. Choices seen from mobile inspect element.*
*** Tip: You can sort of inspect element the HTML on mobile (even on PC) without F12: Simply include "view-source:" in front of the URL.
1509: Parks and Aggravation [Pogaria; ed: Gnejs]
The Issue
The Valentian National Parks are widely regarded as one of the best vacation destinations in the country — and it’s about to get even better, because wealthy industrialist Rick Oldport just made a large donation to the national parks system. There’s one condition though: the money must be used to create a new park.
The Debate
1. “Yes! We finally have enough money to turn the Bland Canyon into a national park,” enthuses Minister of the Interior and part-time actor Wesley Snopes, who is writing a series of to-do lists that appear to be dated five years into the future. “We can get right to work training park rangers and deciding on the best typeface for our informational signs. Or maybe we should start with a hiking trails development committee? This is so exciting!”
3. “Well, that sounds boring to me!” interjects Don Blatherford, the Minister of Mining and Tourism, who is carefully adjusting his party membership pin. “The vanguards of the revolution like you deserve to treat yo’self. Let’s transform the dull Snakewater Mountains — which are under my ministry’s stewardship — into an extravagant resort for loyal party members, complete with limousine tours of the local scenery and one of those indoor ski slopes. If our guests get tired of being pampered, they’re welcome to tour our mining operation and see interesting geological formations being pulled out of the ground and pulverized as they watch!”
4. “Normally, I’d be opposed to another bloated government project,” states libertarian woodworker Jon Duckson, who appears to have given himself an unofficial tax rebate by taking all of the toilet paper from your bathroom. “However, the people of this country have become a bunch of namby-pamby weaklings who don’t even know how to operate a simple edge bander. I think we should take the most barren piece of terrain that’s available and offer training in foraging off the land, tracking animals, and making live-edge wooden furniture. Thank you for considering my suggestion; please do not attempt to contact me or ask any follow-up questions.”
5. “I just came up with literally the best idea ever,” claims fitness enthusiast Christine Trainer, who apparently doesn’t understand the definition of ‘literally’. “The best land for a park... has no land at all! Get it? We need a park that preserves the biodiversity of our oceans, especially those endangered coral reefs that all the cargo ships seem to cut through. Let’s protect those reefs now before they’re as bleached as my perfectly aligned teeth!”
6. “Scratching mosquito bites and throwing other people’s things into a campfire are two of my favorite activities,” admits government intern Maple Floodgate. “But maybe we should try a different type of national park, one that’s dedicated to music and contemporary art. I know this really awesome abandoned factory on the south side of The Gloriously Re-Built Aoutpine Yangon that has great acoustics and is covered in insightful graffiti. If you wanted, I could even curate a playlist of post-apocalyptic death metal music to enhance the experience. So... can I go now?”
7. “I love parks!” reminisces Maple’s boyfriend, Stanley Meyer, who is wearing a ‘federal agent’ ID badge that looks like it was drawn with crayons. “I always have a lot of fun at our nation’s parks. Except for that time at Spruce Pointe when I blew chunks after I ate a lot of cotton candy and then rode the Violet Streak Corkscrew Coaster about fifty times. We should make a big new park with even more thrilling rides, and fried candy bars slathered in butter! Oh, and a petting zoo for tiny horses! Why is everyone staring at me?”
by TalAkMaChen » Wed Apr 20, 2022 7:33 am
by Bears Armed » Wed Apr 20, 2022 5:46 pm
TalAkMaChen wrote:Hi, two updates:
1495: all the dinosaur names are in italics:
description: complete Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton
opt 1 has a Dr. random name, "a Triceratops skull", "precious T. rex in public"
opt 2+3 have a random names
1501, opt 1 " four known Geomys annoyus populations." in italics
by Outer Sparta » Wed Apr 20, 2022 8:55 pm
The Candy Of Bottles wrote:Outer Sparta wrote:Both names appear to be randomized as I don't see the owner of option 2 being a reference to anybody (i.e. Florentino Perez).
On another note, isn't this one from the issues contest "shortlist" that didn't get selected?
I've got Cindy Putin and Hosea Wolfe myself, so the first one is definitely just @@RANDOMNAME@@, but the second could still always be female. No context indicating that's the case though, so I doubt it.
by Electrum » Thu Apr 21, 2022 6:36 am
Outer Sparta wrote:
On another note, isn't this one from the issues contest "shortlist" that didn't get selected?
by Rocain Founder » Sun Apr 24, 2022 9:49 am
“Look, I’ve got an idea,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an obsessive centrist. “Perhaps we can allow for six months of paid maternity leave, but have the government pay their employers for the lost revenue? That way the mothers can bring up their children without financial worries, employers won’t suffer, and everyone will be happy. Apart from the taxpayers, of course, but you can’t please everyone.”
by Republic of La Boca » Sun Apr 24, 2022 12:26 pm
by Rocain Founder » Mon Apr 25, 2022 10:21 am
Three Little Words
The Issue
You have been asked to take a searing political interview for Alright! magazine. After questions about your favourite crisp flavour, your most used emoji and whether you prefer long walks on the beach or brisk walks in the city, you reach the final question: “In three words, how do you think others describe you?”
The Debate
1. Your devoted secretary grins broadly, exposing his ‘I Heart @@LEADER@@’ novelty braces. Fixing you a warm drink, he whispers, “Drop dead gorgeous.”
2. Your sister, here to deposit pamphlets about her latest good causes, smiles imploringly. Nudging forward a brochure of a tiny child holding out his empty bowl, she sighs, “So very generous.”
3. Minister of Bootstraps Sun Payne throws your sister’s pamphlets off the table and drops a spending review entitled ‘Cutting Welfare Wastage’ before you, rapping it. After a cough, she booms, “Exceptional financial prudence.”
4. A woman with three surprisingly well-fed cats in a shopping trolley staggers into your room, coughing up hairballs. Floating up to your desk, she picks up the spending review and places it gently beneath the cats. After staring wide-eyed at your unfinished profile, she laughs loudly. “Kind to animals.”
5. Environment Minister Beyonce Warner removes the spending review from the shopping trolley and places it in the recycling. Dramatically sweeping some crumbs from your desk for composting, she announces, “Clean, green machine.”
6. Your niece — recently kicked out of a closed religious order for being overly zealous — totters over to you, bedecked in so much religious iconography that she can barely move. Lips clamped at the sides, she declares, “Perfectly pious person.”
7. Your actor nephew stylishly slides through the speakers, before gently taking the hand of the lady with the trolley and twirling her. Skipping to your desk, he hops onto it, and singsongs, “Nah, I’m good.”
8. Flinging your nephew from the desk, your brother slams his hands down. Crushing the interview questions beneath his fist, he snarls, “Just three words? That’s not possible. You’re their leader. You need permission? Of course not! You’re too benevolent. They mock it. Punish their impudence. Write fifty pages. Fill the magazine. You deserve it. Send a message: playtime is over.”
Issue by The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State
Edited by Electrum
by The Candy Of Bottles » Mon Apr 25, 2022 6:28 pm
“Well, that sounds boring to me!” interjects businessperson Don Blatherford, who is carefully adjusting his pocket square. “Classy individuals like you deserve to treat yo’self. Let’s transform the dull Snakewater Mountains — part of which I happen to own — into an extravagant resort with limousine tours of the local scenery and one of those indoor ski slopes. If our guests get tired of being pampered, they’re welcome to tour my mining operation and see interesting geological formations being pulled out of the ground and pulverized as they watch!”
by Rocain Founder » Tue Apr 26, 2022 3:12 pm
“I have the right to my values!” shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of the diner. “My grandfather, who opened this restaurant 50 years ago, was a man of faith. This faith gave him his love of family values and family dining. He believed homosexuality to be degenerate and sinful! I’m not saying that these people can’t sin in their own homes, but must I sit there watching them commit unholy acts in my business? What about my freedom to express religious belief? What about my economic rights as a state-licensed business operator?”
by East Polcomia » Fri Apr 29, 2022 2:53 pm
Devolution Devolves Into Disaster?
The Issue
In a bold display of defiance, legislators from several semi-autonomous regions have recently legalized marijuana within their jurisdictions. As this directly contradicts the nationwide ban on cannabis products, lawmakers have been tripping out over the newfound legal dilemma.
The Debate
1. “We must not allow this blatant disregard of the law to go unchallenged!” declares Jabulani Love, a member of parliament and known traditionalist. “Local authorities picking and choosing which laws to follow is an affront to our great nation’s values and will only encourage disunity. Federal laws should always take precedence over local laws, and a bunch of hippies from the boondocks shouldn’t be able to opt out of any regulations they don’t happen to like. Administrative divisions should continue having a degree of autonomy, but we must draw the line when local authorities try to allow things that are illegal on the federal level.”
2. “I don’t see why it’s that big of a problem,” says Minerva Shongwe, the young governor of East Beethoven, one of the provinces which recently legalized cannabis. “East Polcomia isn’t one homogeneous mass, but a conglomeration of diverse peoples, cultures, and values. Moreover, the government derives its power from the consent of the people — and the people here no longer consented to this ridiculous marijuana prohibition. That’s what democracy is, anyway.”
3. “This whole ‘giving local authorities autonomy’ thing hasn’t really been working out, has it?” muses your loyal advisor Bodhi Griffin. “Ever since we gave them the power to make their own laws, things have spiraled out of control. First they’re allowing cannabis, next they’ll allow something much worse — I shudder to think what that could be — on the grounds that it would be ‘best for their people’! @@LEADER@@, in order to save our country, we must end this rapid decentralization and bring power back to the national government!”
4. “Or you could just legalize weed everywhere,” suggests your eccentric cousin after gulping down a handful of green gummy bears. “Marijuana isn’t dangerous or anything, so the only thing stopping complete legalization is a bunch of old farts in parliament who are stuck in a more conservative era. Maybe allowing it will let people chill out and not get so mad about this whole federalism thing. Legalizing marijuana might even help the economy because farmers would have a new cash crop to grow. Sounds like a win-win to me!”
Issue by The Democratic States of Erynia and Draconia
Edited by Pogaria
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