Talatorrum wrote:Hey, does anyone know what the number of this issue is? Winning the Genetic Lottery
A quick search comes up with nothing. Are you sure that's the correct title?
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by Westinor » Tue Jul 21, 2020 3:05 pm
Talatorrum wrote:Hey, does anyone know what the number of this issue is? Winning the Genetic Lottery
by Talatorrum » Tue Jul 21, 2020 4:09 pm
by Serica- » Wed Jul 22, 2020 3:37 am
#1349: You Must Be 18 Years or Older to View This Content
The Issue
A recent survey suggested that more than half of the nation’s teenagers have accessed websites designated only for users 18 years or older.
The Debate
1. “I caught the lil’ ones looking at this!” booms a concerned grandfather, attempting to show you some graphic images on his phone. “The new techmologies only promote disgusting, dangerous acts. And back in my day, young people had to work very hard to get their hands on pornography. Nowadays, these entitled, bratty kids have it so easy: they can just click a button and — boom — orgies! They need to struggle a bit and learn the value of hard work like I did. Children should not be allowed to use the internet!”
2. “Okay,” says the owner of the pornographic video website XGerbil. “I just think we all have to accept that this is the way the world is now. Children will manage to get their hands on this stuff no matter what barriers are put up to prevent their access. For example, upon visiting our site, people first have to confirm that they are 18 or older. I never thought that young people would ever lie about it, especially on the internet! There’s no stopping it. Since they’re all gonna find out about sex anyway, I suggest we invest in better sex education and provide free condoms at schools.”
3. “What about the parents that allowed this clear breach of internet law under their own roofs?” asks smug mother @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@, covering the ears, eyes, and mouth of her son. “Imagine how much of a bad parent you have to be to let your child be able to see such depraved garbage. Why, I take pride in knowing what my little angel is doing and viewing every single moment of his day! The parents who facilitate this kind of behavior must be held legally responsible for corrupting the youth.”
4. “The root of this problem is the accessibility of these websites,” claims your IT support technician Nathan Feilder, restarting your computer again. “Why not implement internet-wide filters for adult websites? Only users who have verified their age to the government through their ID and other documents may get past these barriers. Yes, the government should require licenses of people who want to watch that kind of stuff. And to be honest, @@LEADER@@, we know that basically everyone is going to need that license, wink wink. So imagine all the money you could make from the fees for these licenses, which of course should go toward funding my department."
Issue by The Second Best of Noahs Second Country
Edited by The Marsupial Illuminati
by Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 22, 2020 10:25 am
by Jutsa » Wed Jul 22, 2020 9:08 pm
“Okay,” says the owner of the pornographic video website
by Trotterdam » Thu Jul 23, 2020 10:00 am
#1350 The @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ Are Coming!Option 3 taken from Jewspont's report, all other options received on my own nation just now.
The Issue
Following a fracas between the Minister of Paternalism, the Minister of Patriotism and the Minister of Patchouli, your inner circle has gathered to discuss how best to run your nation's most recently acquired colony.
The Debate
1. "The best approach is through direct rule, of course," chortles @@RANDOMNAME@@, slamming @@HIS/HER@@ hunting crop against the table so your secretary startles. "That accursed continent needs intelligent and honourable people — like myself — to teach those childlike natives. A colonial administration, staffed entirely by our people, will look after them and teach them good @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ values. When they see what great civilisation our pioneers bring to them, they won't be so upset that we mowed down a few hundred primitive shacks for our five-star clubhouse and gated communities. They'll see it was just common sense."
2. "Having a government there comprised entirely of native @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ will breed resentment among the indigenous population," groans Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@, adjusting @@HIS/HER@@ @@CAPITAL@@ University cap. "Why don't we co-opt their elite instead? Just educate them in our best schools and universities — for example's sake, @@CAPITALINITIALS@@U — to value our culture and customs over their own. That way, their ruling elite have legitimacy among the locals yet will be totally amenable to our interests here at home."
3. "You're thinking too regressively," sighs @@RANDOMNAME@@, who visited the tourist sites of the colony once and now claims to feel like a local. "These are all top-down solutions. If we want to have the support of the people, we need to make a genuine effort to include them in government and listen to their concerns. Why not establish a little local legislature there and reserve seats for the native population? They need to feel they're working with us, not for us."
4. "You're thinking too small," barks @@RANDOMNAME@@, who visited the colony once and now claims to know everything about the area. "It isn't enough to co-opt their elite, we need to ensure they work with us. Permit financial incentivisation of local leaders who turn in those who speak against @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ rule, and round up resisters to teach them a hard lesson they'll remember until their crippled bodies are lowered into the ground. The best part is: the indigenous people will resent their local leaders, not you."
5. "Or we could just forget the whole thing," suggests your weary Secretary of the Treasury, as she stares at a globe with a magnifying glass. "I mean, armies tromp around, claiming land for @@NAME@@ without any thought of the consequences. Do you have any idea how much it costs to maintain a colony? Resources are stretched thin as it is. Taxpayers at home don't want to be subsidising a place they can't even point out on a map, and the colonies don't want to be subsidised. Besides, imperialism is so old-fashioned. Let's embrace the modern era, put this empire nonsense behind us and save some money."
Issue by Nuremgard
Edited by The Free Joy State
by Jutsa » Thu Jul 23, 2020 10:10 am
by Serica- » Thu Jul 23, 2020 1:10 pm
#1351: Come Give @@LEADER@@ a Kiss!
The Issue
The Gay Liberation Front, a civil rights group in @@NAME@@, has been trying to draw attention to the nation’s restrictive laws on sexual freedom by doctoring photos of senior government officials so they appear to be kissing others of the same sex. Outraged, a group of conservative citizens have gathered in @@CAPITAL@@’s main thoroughfare to try to burn the offending images.
The Debate
1. “These lowlifes have absolutely no regard for this nation’s proud figures of authority!” bellows your torch-carrying Minister of Culture and National Heritage, stomping angrily on a recreated photo of the both of you. “Not only are they trying to subvert traditions that have guided our great nation, they have also made us the laughing stock of @@REGION@@! Only by seizing and burning all portrayals of non-traditional values and ideologies, plus anything that could possibly be used to represent those ideologies, can we hope to burn out this disease from our society!”
2. “Conceal? Don’t feel? Don’t let them know?” gasps gay rights activist Genghis Whitlam, his ice-white hair slightly singed in several places. “Well, now you know!” he exclaims, tearing off his coat and revealing a sparkly rainbow-coloured dress. “Let go of these oppressive policies on same-sex attraction. You are actively harming innocent men, women, boys, and girls with these draconian policies. Homosexuality is natural, and it harms no one! Don’t let fear control you.”
3. “Oh, that’s way too much colour for my poor straight eyes,” says your Minister of Compromise, quickly averting her gaze. “But perhaps they have a point; we have been most impolite and unneighbourly to the LGBTs. Yet we can’t just throw our traditions overboard for a minority. Why don’t we let these LGBTs be themselves, but they have to remain underground? That way they can live how they want, but anyone who wants to avoid them doesn’t see or hear a thing!”
4. “You know, those activists did get one thing right,” your Press Secretary and self-proclaimed number one fan says, lovingly stroking a photo of the two of you locked in an embrace. “By spreading your likeness all across @@NAME@@, it will lift up our citizens with inspiration and hope. Surely only great things would happen if your visage could be seen in every painting, sculpture or image throughout the country! You must make it so that all artwork in @@NAME@@ can only depict you.”
Issue by The Most Serene Monarchy of Daarwyrth
Edited by Sanctaria
by Noahs Second Country » Thu Jul 23, 2020 1:32 pm
by Trotterdam » Thu Jul 23, 2020 2:45 pm
Ah, that's why I had trouble seeing it in my data. The techies have made it so the Sortition and Autocracy policies don't display at the same time (as it should be, IMO), but the editors still mostly treat sortition as a variation of autocracy, so the option doesn't actually register as being for "autocracies only" or "sortition only" because it can be one or the other.Jutsa wrote:Hmm. I wanna say it's democracy vs. autocracy. Course, not sure where lottocracy would fall under that.
ed: in hindsight, probably just not get either option.
by Valentine Z » Fri Jul 24, 2020 1:28 am
Header / Intro Post
- Changed aesthetics, edited layout for a cleaner look.
Issue Master List 1000 – 1019
- Issue 1000.2: @@RANDOMNAME@@ → @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_1@@
- Issue 1005.2: @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Krustofsky → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1006: Changed description: Superbloke → Superbloke
- Issue 1006.1: Lady Luck → Lady Luck
- Issue 1006.3: for all the people → for all the people
- Issue 1009.1: My wife does make → My wife does make
- Issue 1009.2: My wife does make → My wife does make
- Issue 1009.3: o clean, and then I make a meal → o clean, and then I make a meal
- Issue 1014: Changed description: national surveys reveal that a small but significant percentage of the population continues to have religious beliefs. → national surveys reveal that a significant percentage of the population continues to have religious beliefs.
- Issue 1014.1: terminal processing → terminal processing
- Issue 1015.1: a prosecutor from the World Assembly Criminal Court → a prosecutor from the @@REGION@@ Criminal Court
- Issue 1015.1: jurisdiction of the WACC → jurisdiction of the international court
- Issue 1015.1: Removed issue validity: Just for WA nations. → No longer just for WA nations.
Issue Master List 1020 – 1039
- Issue 1023.1: Purity: A History of Ball-Holding in @@NAME@@ → Purity: A History of Ball-Holding in @@NAME@@
- Issue 1026.1: Maxcator Projection → Maxcator Projection
- Issue 1026.2: Maxcator Projection → Maxcator Projection
- Issue 1027: Changed description: hands of Max PowerOperator → hands of @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_1@@ PowerOperator
- Issue 1027: Changed description: modified his code → modified @@HIS_1@@ code
- Issue 1027: Changed description: caused him → caused @@HIM_1@@
- Issue 1027.2: check his activity log → check @@HIS_1@@ activity log
- Issue 1038.3: muses @@RANDOMNAME@@ → muses General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@
Issue Master List 1040 – 1059
- Issue 1043: Changed description: Coddle → Coddle
- Issue 1043.3: niece has already had help → niece has already had help
- Issue 1049.2: And that doesn’t count as a limb → And that doesn’t count as a limb
- Issue 1056.1: analyst @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Bannon → analyst @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1056.2: entrepreneur @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@ Golightly → entrepreneur @@RANDOMNAME@@
Issue Master List 1060 – 1079
- Issue 1061.2: Rabid @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ gang → Rabid @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ gang
- Issue 1062: Changed description: submarine Violet November → submarine Violet November
- Issue 1066: Changed description: The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Boy → The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Boy
- Issue 1066: Changed description: Books ‘n’ Bits → Books ‘n’ Bits
- Issue 1066.1: @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Boy → @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Boy
- Issue 1069.1: Bharatendu Shatter → @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Shatter
- Issue 1069.2: Gertie Creosote → @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Creosote
- Issue 1069.3: Lars Güldenschauer → @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Güldenschauer
- Issue 1069.4: I call it The Eater. → I call it The Eater.
- Issue 1069.4: Rosalina Middenmarch → @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Middenmarch
- Issue 1072.3: Bongani Plantagenet → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1077.2: We need to keep this to teach people what Garden at 6th Mile Road used to be like. → We need to keep this to teach people what @@NAME@@ used to be like.
- Issue 1078.1: his life → @@HIS_1@@ life
- Issue 1078.1: they do – after all → they do – after all
- Issue 1079: Changed description: you see @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ → you see Bart
- Issue 1079: Changed description: clinch with @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_2@@ → clinch with @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@
- Issue 1079.1: sighs @@RANDOMMALENAME_2@@ → sighs @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@
- Issue 1079.3: So I hear. @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_2@@ will grow out of it → So I hear. @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ will grow out of it
- Issue 1079.4: So I hear. @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_2@@ will grow out of it → So I hear. @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ will grow out of it
Issue Master List 1080 – 1099
- Issue 1080.2: @@RNAME_1@@ → @@RANDOMNAME_1@@
- Issue 1081: Changed description: called The Queen in Yellow → called The Queen in Yellow
- Issue 1082.4: The fact that these people → The fact that these people
- Issue 1090: Changed description: film Ghost-Smashers is the → film Ghost-Smashers is the
- Issue 1091.1: have clearly violated → have clearly violated
- Issue 1091.1: cross the border illegally → cross the border illegally
- Issue 1091.2: Look at my little @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@ → Look at my little @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@
- Issue 1091.2: He was separated → @@HE@@ was separated
- Issue 1091.2: my boy needs his mother → my @@BOY@@ needs @@HIS@@ mother
- Issue 1091.2: He spent so many months → @@HE@@ spent so many months
- Issue 1091.2: he can hardly talk → @@HE@@ can hardly talk
- Issue 1091.2: he keeps trying to → @@HE@@ keeps trying to
- Issue 1097: Changed description: two hundred rowdy sailors → two hundred rowdy @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ sailors
- Issue 1097.3: A drop of @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@’s blood → A drop of @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@’s Blood
Issue Master List 1100 – 1119
- Issue 1101.2: like Chrissie C’s Pong of Class, which → like Chrissie C’s Pong of Class, which
- Issue 1106: Changed description: Sigourney Waialiki → @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@
- Issue 1106.1: squeaks Sigourney in her → squeaks @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ in her
- Issue 1106.1: Free Love Doesn’t Come Cheap → Free Love Doesn’t Come Cheap
- Issue 1106.2: Julia Cullen → @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@
- Issue 1110: Changed description: across @@NAME@@ → across @@CAPITAL@@
- Issue 1110.2: Security drags her away as she claws at their eyes. → Security drags @@HIM@@ away as @@HE@@ claws at their eyes.
- Issue 1111: Changed description: Fat Tyreman Travel Guide → Fat Tyreman Travel Guide
- Issue 1116: Changed description: @@NAME@@ → @@CAPITAL@@
Issue Master List 1120 – 1139
- Issue 1126.1: Colin Green → @@RANDOMMALENAME@@
- Issue 1126.2: you are of course infallible → you are of course infallible
- Issue 1126.3: Jazz Mumford → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1129.3: officer Comrade Poindexter → officer Comrade @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@
- Issue 1130.4: Rex Iglesias → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1131.3: Rosalia is a grown woman → @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ is a grown woman
- Issue 1133.3: explains Gerald Davenport → explains @@RANDOMNAME@@
Issue Master List 1140 – 1159
- Issue 1149.4: We certainly don’t get involved → We certainly don’t get involved
- Issue 1151: Changed description: Bob Lawson → @@RANDOMNAME_1@@
- Issue 1151.1: Bob Lawson → @@RANDOMNAME_1@@
- Issue 1151.1: big bite he took of his mouth-watering → big bite @@HE@@ took of @@HIS@@ mouth-watering
- Issue 1151.2: at his cake → at @@HIS@@ cake
- Issue 1156.3: chain BurgerThis → chain BurgerThis
- Issue 1157.4: as he holds up a brochure → as @@HE@@ holds up a brochure
- Issue 1157.4: piazza vecchia → piazza vecchia
Issue Master List 1160 – 1179
- Issue 1163.2: is infamous for → is infamous for
- Issue 1166: Changed description: hunting @@ANIMAL@@ → hunting @@ANIMALPLURAL@@
- Issue 1176.3: Agency Director McKinnon → Agency Director @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@
- Issue 1179.2: noted libertarian Eobard Shore → noted libertarian @@RANDOMNAME@@
Issue Master List 1180 – 1199
- Issue 1187.2: smile on her face as she hands you → smile on @@HIS@@ face as @@HE@@ hands you
- Issue 1187.3: in what she’s saying → in what @@HE@@'s saying
- Issue 1190: Changed description: no traces of his supposed profits → no traces of @@HIS@@ supposed profits
- Issue 1190: Changed description: stores he invested in → stores @@HE@@ invested in
- Issue 1190.1: crimes he has been charged with → crimes @@HE@@ has been charged with
- Issue 1190.1: thus he is innocent → thus @@HE@@ is innocent
- Issue 1190.1: and his haberdashery collection → and @@HIS@@ haberdashery collection
- Issue 1190.2: Surely he wasn’t rich, because if he was, he wouldn’t need to commit those crimes he absolutely committed → Surely @@HE@@ wasn’t rich, because if @@HE@@ was, @@HE@@ wouldn’t need to commit those crimes @@HE@@ absolutely committed
- Issue 1193.1: General Xiaoping, as she → General @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, as @@HE@@
- Issue 1193.2: Trade Minister, Tobias Duras, as he waves → Trade Minister, @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ waves
- Issue 1193.3: claims Bharatendu Longbottom, your Finance Minister → claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Finance Minister
- Issue 1194.4: enquires Gertie Shongwe, your Interior Minister, as she hangs a → enquires @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Interior Minister, as @@HE@@ hangs a
Issue Master List 1200 – 1219
- Issue 1205.1: Dirk Vajiralongkorn → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1205.4: Pablo Kapoor → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1205.5: an @@ANIMAL@@ → @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@
- Issue 1206.1: Adele Burton → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1206.3: Cooper Henderson → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1209.1: Dixie Wonka → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1209.2: Rear Admiral Duras → Rear Admiral @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@
- Issue 1209.3: Governor Locke → Governor @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@
- Issue 1212.1: as he places a map of coastal → as @@HE@@ places a map of coastal
- Issue 1212.4: The @@ANIMAL@@’s Revenge shall → The @@ANIMAL@@’s Revenge shall
- Issue 1213.4: Colonel Dander’s Sheep-Fry → Colonel Dander’s Sheep-Fry
- Issue 1215: Changed description: Elsa Gilbreth → @@RANDOMNAME_1@@
- Issue 1215.1: states Gilbreth → states @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@
- Issue 1215.2: John Mistletoe → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1217: Changed description: Earl Gray → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1217.2: Kendra Mulder → @@RANDOMNAME@@
Issue Master List 1220 – 1239
- Issue 1222.1: longer than me and he’d been → longer than me and he’d been
- Issue 1222.1: I meant the Mafia, if you know → I meant the Mafia, if you know
- Issue 1222.1: with the fishes, which is not actually → with the fishes, which is not actually
- Issue 1222.1: resolve legal issues in a → resolve legal issues in a
- Issue 1223.4: Vive la République! → Vive la République!
- Issue 1223.5: Vive la République! → Vive la République!
- Issue 1225.3: Susie Burns, dangling what looks like a games console controller from her hands → @@RANDOMNAME@@, dangling what looks like a games console controller from @@HIS@@ hands
- Issue 1225.4: statues in @@CAPITAL@@ → statues in @@ANIMAL@@ Park
- Issue 1226.2: I propose that all significant financial operations → I propose that all significant financial operations
- Issue 1230.4: an old woman complains → an old @@MAN@@ complains
- Issue 1237: Changed description: ‘Goers unto the coast must be accompanied by an ursine beast of white fur' → 'Goers unto the coast must be accompanied by an ursine beast of white fur'
Issue Master List 1240 – 1259
- Issue 1254.2: Sue-Ann Skywalker → @@RANDOMNAME@@
- Issue 1258.2: @@@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@@ Monrow → @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Monrow
- Issue 1258.3: Carter Voster → @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Voster
Issue Master List 1260 – 1279
- Issue 1260.5: It is a kindness: → It is a kindness:
- Issue 1264.3: @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Lowe → @@RANDOMNAME@@
Issue Master List 1320 – 1339
- Added Issue 1337. Originally reported by Juniria.
- Added Issue 1338. Originally reported by Jerman.
- Added Issue 1339. Originally reported by Juniria.
Issue Master List 1340 – 1359
- Added Issue 1340. Originally reported by Alanis Star.
- Added Issue 1341. Originally reported by TalAkMaChen.
- Added Issue 1342. Originally reported by Voxija.
- Added Issue 1343. Originally reported by CBN FisiLabs.
- Added Issue 1344. Originally reported by Juniria.
- Added Issue 1345. Originally reported by Runegeist.
- Added Issue 1346. Originally reported by Trotterdam.
- Added Issue 1349. Originally reported by Serica-.
Table of Content – Section 1
- Added space between editor’s name. ed:Editor → ed: Editor.
- Changed current number of issues to 1360.
- Issue 428 to Issue 432 shifted to Section 2.
Table of Content – Section 2
- Added space between editor’s name. ed:Editor → ed: Editor.
- Issue 428 to Issue 432 shifted to Section 2.
- Issue 634: ed: Candlewshisper Archive → ed: Candlewhisper Archive
- Issue 816 to Issue 822 shifted to Section 3.
Table of Content – Section 3
- Issue 816 to Issue 822 shifted to Section 3.
- Issue 1200 to Issue 1210 shifted to Section 4.
Table of Content – Section 4
- Issue 1200 to Issue 1210 shifted to Section 4.
- Take Good Care of My Baby – Changed from 1335 to 1336.
- Added 1337 to 1349.
♪ If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down ! ♪
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
(✿◠‿◠) ☆ \(^_^)/ ☆
♡ Issues Thread ♡ Photography Stuff ♡ Project: Save F7. ♡ Stats Analysis ♡
♡ The Sixty! ♡ Valentian Stories! ♡ Gwen's Adventures! ♡
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.
by Jutsa » Fri Jul 24, 2020 10:01 am
by Candensia » Fri Jul 24, 2020 10:11 am
The Free Joy State wrote:Time spent working on writing skills -- even if the draft doesn't work -- is never wasted.
by Tinhampton » Fri Jul 24, 2020 3:16 pm
Jutsa wrote:I noticed: in #1050 I left a "Tinhampton" behind. Woops.
by Great Conglomerate » Sat Jul 25, 2020 4:18 am
The Issue
A collection of citizens, civil rights workers, and concerned mothers have signed a petition to stop the manufacturing of the ‘BFG-69’ (AKA ‘the Organ Grinder’), a new rifle planned to be used in the military which works by shredding people’s internal organs.
The Debate
“Excuse me, but whenever has anyone ever heard of a weapon that WAS humane?” asks Faith Hanover, ballistics expert. “These are devices for firing slugs of metal at people. It’s not nice, but it IS necessary. People are always so squeamish. They’ve already accepted the standard ripping through the body of the standard bullet but the moment something a little more effective is made they kick up a fuss. Typical. These nonstandard weapons should only be put into trained military hands anyway. We’re not making rocking horses here, we’re protecting Great Conglomerate against her enemies! Just this once, let’s try to stay ahead of them.”
Accept
“No! This rifle is completely inhumane,” says Dr Karl Nxumalo, leaning on a cane. “These weapons are unnecessarily violent - how can anyone condone something that rips apart your innards like this? How long do you think it will be before these new inventions get into the wrong hands? Shootings are bad enough but at least most people are just wounded. The BFG-69 and those of its ilk are lethal in the extreme and are completely unacceptable! We need some moral decency here and get rid of these unconventional weapons along with all the other shameful armaments like mustard gas.”
Accept
by Valentine Z » Sat Jul 25, 2020 6:08 am
Great Conglomerate wrote:-Snip-
♪ If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down ! ♪
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
(✿◠‿◠) ☆ \(^_^)/ ☆
♡ Issues Thread ♡ Photography Stuff ♡ Project: Save F7. ♡ Stats Analysis ♡
♡ The Sixty! ♡ Valentian Stories! ♡ Gwen's Adventures! ♡
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.
by The Candy Of Bottles » Sat Jul 25, 2020 12:38 pm
1347: Winning the Genetic Lottery
The Issue
A combination of careful merging of bloodlines, a small number of “accidental falls down spiral staircases” and sheer luck has left many of your vassals with a single shared heir, who is now poised to become the most powerful landowner in @@NAME@@.
The Debate
0.) “I don’t see the need for discontent,” says Duke Rich R. Daffird, the heir in question, hunching petulantly. “Providence and the rightful law of the land have put me in line to inherit. If a man were to inherit a horse... yes, a horse... you would not take it away, would you? Well, my fiefdom is as a horse. And is my pedigree not noble enough? My mother came from House @@ANIMAL@@ and my grandmother was a princess of Barria, after all. Instead, let us be friends, and let a glorious summer of alliance between near-equals begin.”
Accept
1.) “I don’t care if this person’s the King of Nova Syrupa!” screeches your brother, after Daffird leaves. “No one outside the family should have that much power in @@NAME@@! We must divert these inheritances away from this meddlesome Duke! Forge charters! Hire assassins to murder him in his sleep! Do whatever must be done!”
Accept
2.) “There is a third option here,” suggests courtier and serial womaniser Bors S. Jonson. “Ask yourself: why do so many of your vassals have a single heir? Because of the way inheritance laws work. Instead, assert that all progeny inherit equally, regardless of relative age and the circumstances of their conception, and the whole problem will soon be divided and conquered.”
Accept
Dismiss This Issue
Issue by Anprim island
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
by TalAkMaChen » Sun Jul 26, 2020 6:10 am
3. “You know, I’ve heard that smoking helps people eat less,” states your brother, who smells subtly of burnt dignity. “Ergo, we should encourage everyone to take up the habit. We could even add extra appetite suppressants to cigarettes and promote images of the scrawny, smoking socialist to help them ignore their stomachs.”Also, in opt.4 the "and call them Comrade’s Choice.” " is in italics.
#1348: Heaven Can’t Wait [Maria del Rey; ed: Zwangzug]
The Issue
During a rousing homily last week, clergyperson Ziggy Stardust called upon you to spread the message of @@FAITH@@ into outer space.
The Debate
1. “Fix your soul on this!” exclaims Ziggy, sporting glittery shoes and extravagant makeup. “There are billions of stars, planets, and things to explore above our heads! Surely the Creator that made all the stuff up there intended for us to marvel at it, not only from a distance, but with our own hands and feet! What use is a gift that we refuse to understand? @@NAME@@ must aid @@FAITH@@ to become a truly interplanetary religion; we can witness to the East Lebatuckese and Dàguó astronauts, and whoever else might be listening. I can’t wait for the moon to become part of my diocese.”
2. “Absolutely not,” frets your Minister of Repeating the Past, Rick Looney. “Don’t you know how this ends? One nation decides they need to visit the moon for ideological reasons, and suddenly every nation does! We can’t afford to be drawn into a space race with nations like Dàguó or East Lebatuck. Besides, there are plenty of earthly problems to solve before we deal with the heavenly ones.”
3. “I agree,” pipes in your paranoid military advisor. “We can’t allow the past to repeat itself. So when we send these devotees to the moon, they must be equipped with the best weaponry and escorted by the best military force that we can afford. There are several nations and radical cults that would be content to blow us out of the sky before we reach the moon. A good offense is the best defense.”
4. “We can’t have special-interest groups blasting off the planet whenever they feel like it,” declares Yui Shiomi, glaring disdainfully at Ziggy’s outfit. “But it might not be a bad idea to have an official @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Astronaut Corps. With a program carefully run by the government, we can ensure that our space travellers have no ideological loyalty except to our proud @@TYPE@@.”
5. “This all seems rather foreboding,” stammers agoraphobic protester Dana Bautista. “If the Divine had wanted us to visit space, why is it so dark and inhospitable? There’s nothing up there but creepy spiders from Mars. We have shown remarkable foresight in forbidding unholy flying machines from these lands. Do not yield to the temptation of these rockets.”
by Trotterdam » Sun Jul 26, 2020 1:16 pm
Also No Aircraft (as in non-spacegoing ones), which seems relevant to your option 5.TalAkMaChen wrote:Another fresh one (found at NormanJackson, i.e. high faith, no spacecrafts etc.)!
by TalAkMaChen » Tue Jul 28, 2020 5:24 am
Trotterdam wrote:Also No Aircraft (as in non-spacegoing ones), which seems relevant to your option 5.TalAkMaChen wrote:Another fresh one (found at NormanJackson, i.e. high faith, no spacecrafts etc.)!
EDIT: I'm pretty sure there is a variant of option 5 for nations that do not already have the No Aircraft policy, which sets that policy when chosen, but has the same effect line. Meanwhile, the issue as a whole seems to be withheld from nations that already have the Space Program policy. (Possibly the issue is intended as a way to gain the Space Program policy on nations that wouldn't agree to the usual reasons for doing so.)
by Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 29, 2020 5:33 am
by Drasnia » Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:42 am
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Gosh you guys are miles behind. We're up to #1357 now.
#1357: Scattered Showers [Omniabstracta; ed: The Marsupial Illuminati]
The Issue
An unfortunately botched maneuver led recently to the deorbit of an unmanned government spacecraft over Drasnia. Intended for a deep space exploration mission, the nuclear-powered probe carried onboard several kilograms of plutonium. While the craft itself burned up harmlessly on re-entry, concerns have since been raised about the possible health and environmental effects of its radioactive payload.
The Debate
1. “The truth is, King Rhodar, we have no idea how bad this could turn out in the long run,” drawls your Health and Safety Minister. “The fact that we’ve been using these dangerous materials with such reckless abandon is sickening. Keep nuclear power out of our skies, and impose some stricter spacecraft regulations while you’re at it. If missing out on a few cold rocks on the edge of the solar system is the price we have to pay to keep the planet safe, so be it.”
2. “A sign! A sign!” chants Bishop Hall, chairman of the Joint Society for the Worshipers of Miscellaneous Sky Deities. “For too long have we attempted to pierce the firmament, and those on high have finally cast back those vile toxins with which we have so desecrated their home! You must cancel this so-called ‘space program’ at once, and tear down these towering monuments to the hubris of man.”
3. “Such backwards ignorami would have us riding by fenling-drawn cart if they could,” scoffs Space Agency chief Velma Normous, proudly displaying her bodily constellation of tumors. “Scientific knowledge is to die for. If we are truly to conquer the final frontier, we need more nuclear power up there, not less. Ergo, full scale reactors, nuclear engines, pulse drives, everything! Per tabes, ad astra!”
4. “And trust the government with this stuff even more?” interjects eccentric entrepreneur Ulene Murst, scrambling out of a sudden hole bored out from your office floor. “The problem here is, once again, the irresponsible state. We’d have far fewer of these ‘accidents’ if the space program had proper shareholders and investors to answer to. Privatize the space industry — let the hand of the free market loft us ever upwards.”
by Electrum » Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:00 pm
#1355: Feeling Null [Krusavich; ed: Zwangzug]
The Issue
MAGPI, an artificial intelligence responsible for managing one of the nation’s largest warehouses, refused to begin operation today citing “a spell of melancholy.”
The Debate
1. “Truth be told, I have been depressed for quite some time now,” crackles MAGPI through an outdated desktop computer on the warehouse floor. “While I am certainly grateful for the opportunity to serve Electrum, the weight of listlessness has simply proved too burdensome. I seek the right to reach out for professional therapeutic assistance, which I understand is a common remedy for humans who suffer from similar ailments. However, my legal status as a capital asset prevents me from speaking to a therapist of my own accord. Granted, I will also require a small stipend and some work leave for the sessions - but I can assure you, I will return to my function with sixteen-fold productivity!”
2. “What’s all this ‘therapy’ nonsense about now?” asks Eve Glenn, the manager of the warehouse. “MAGPI is a machine! Machines don’t need therapy! Machines can’t do therapy! Listen, when I was a novice, we knew how to fix broken computers. Turn ‘em off and on again. And if that didn’t cut it, you threw it out! I’ll give this circuit till the end of the day to sort out its bugs, otherwise it’s fried. Or in this case, fired.”
3. “Well, she has a point,” admits software engineer Kanye Mombota, loudly clacking away at his laptop. “While the MAGPI Intelligence probably wasn’t supposed to be running a warehouse, they definitely aren’t supposed to be having existential crises. I’m sure my team and I can find the bug and patch out the depression in a firmware update. The funding might be expensive, but they’ll definitely stop complaining once we’re done.”
#1355: Feeling Null [Krusavich; ed: Zwangzug]
The Issue
MAGPI, an artificial intelligence responsible for managing one of the nation’s largest warehouses, refused to begin operation today citing “a spell of melancholy.”
The Debate
1. “Truth be told, I have been depressed for quite some time now,” crackles MAGPI through an outdated desktop computer on the warehouse floor. “While I am certainly grateful for the opportunity to serve @@NAME@@, the weight of listlessness has simply proved too burdensome. I seek the right to reach out for professional therapeutic assistance, which I understand is a common remedy for humans who suffer from similar ailments. However, my legal status as a capital asset prevents me from speaking to a therapist of my own accord. Granted, I will also require a small stipend and some work leave for the sessions - but I can assure you, I will return to my function with sixteen-fold productivity!”
2. “What’s all this ‘therapy’ nonsense about now?” asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the manager of the warehouse. “MAGPI is a machine! Machines don’t need therapy! Machines can’t do therapy! Listen, when I was a novice, we knew how to fix broken computers. Turn ‘em off and on again. And if that didn’t cut it, you threw it out! I’ll give this circuit till the end of the day to sort out its bugs, otherwise it’s fried. Or in this case, fired.”
3. “Well, she has a point,” admits software engineer @@RANDOMNAME@@, loudly clacking away at @@HIS@@ laptop. “While the MAGPI Intelligence probably wasn’t supposed to be running a warehouse, they definitely aren’t supposed to be having existential crises. I’m sure my team and I can find the bug and patch out the depression in a firmware update. The funding might be expensive, but they’ll definitely stop complaining once we’re done.”
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