NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[TalAkMaChen]

Oh, a new one. Skipping 1310 so far, but only temporary I guess.

#1311: An Acquired Taste [The Marsupial Illuminati; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]
The Issue

Public health officials across @@NAME@@ are demanding a restriction on bushmeat consumption, asserting that handling and eating bushmeat can transfer new and deadly diseases from animals to humans. These officials cite VODAIS, ebola and coronavirus as examples of diseases that were originally contracted by humans after eating bushmeat. You have arrived in the jungles of southern @@NAME@@ to assess the nation’s bushmeat market.

The Debate
1. “This is how a pandemic starts,” declares Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@HIS@@ arm extended at the scene before you. “You see here stalls selling bushmeat from the jungle, some scavenged from already-dead carcasses. Wild animals are pathogen factories; we shouldn’t be ingesting their flesh. Look at that butcher’s floor, covered in monkey blood! VODAIS started with cross-species viral transmission, and this is how the next killer will start too. Good public health practice demands that you should restrict the sale and consumption of meat from non-farmed animals.”

2. “Stop stirring the pot,” jeers @@RANDOMNAME@@, a bushmeat vendor, chewing on a grilled bat wing. “This fearmongering kills business and keeps us poor and starving. You scientists have heads full of ideas, but we need full bellies! We cannot survive without bushmeat, and it is part of our culture! Besides, people only get sick because they’re not used to how rich and delicious it tastes. If the government really wants to help you should supply us with meat lockers, soap, hunting equipment and logistics assistance to help us bring the meats to market.”

3. “Let them eat ape!” declares military strategist Mary Antwunnet. “This place is a breeding ground for new deadly diseases. Under the guise of altruism, we could set up a center here to monitor and research new viruses. We could pretend to be helping the villagers while secretly weaponizing our findings. We’ll be at the top of the world’s food chain when we’re done.”

4. “We can’t really force our way of living on these peoples,” states your Minister for Creative Solutions. “It’s not them that’s the problem; it’s our involvement in their society spreading potentially infected meat. Let’s leave them alone. We’ll remove all trace of our civilization — hospitals, medical facilities and so on and declare it a nature reserve, with only the locals being allowed to live here. With a strict quarantine for anyone coming in or out, there’s no chance of a virus beyond their villages.”

For option 3 a fixed name, rest is random.

[Jutsa]

Found a new one while on my phone, will try to check for internal numbering when I get back home.

#1312: Cranmer Vs. Cranmer [The Free Joy State; ed: Baggieland]

The Issue
Joan Cranmer — a mother who walked out on her partner and son two years ago, voluntarily cutting off all contact until she recently petitioned for custody — has just been awarded full custody of her son by the courts, with the judge stating “children are simply better off with their mother.” This controversial ruling has led to calls for you to intervene.

The Debate
“She abandoned Ebenezer, and now she wants to play mummy?” snaps Ed, Joan’s ex-partner. “She doesn’t even know him; I do. His favourite show is Adolescent Zombie Ninja Feejayopleps. When he’s sick, he likes boysenberry juice, through a curly straw. Mothers should know these things, but she went off to ‘find herself’. I’ve done an amazing job with my son, and thanks to my help, he gets excellent grades in school now. Child custody should go to the most suitable parent, not just the one with the uterus. Fit parents don’t dump their kid when they get bored.”

“I was bored with Ed, not my son,” insists Joan. “Ed is a very narcissistic man; he was stifling my soul. I couldn’t even have friends. Now, I’m much better; I have my own career, and a lovely flat near one of the top schools in the country. I can provide for my son materially and I can be there emotionally. All children need their mother, no matter what. I am grateful that Ed stepped into the breach in my absence, but nothing can make up for a mother’s love.”

“A mother merely does what any common cat does,” remarks proudly misogynist author of the mothering guide Stop Whining and Push. “Why does simple childbirth give women special custody rights? Mothers may feel attachment, but fathers provide moral and mental instruction. See how the boy’s grades improved with his father’s influence.” He holds up a book report with ‘Did your father write this?’ at the bottom. “Clearly, fathers are the more fit parent and should gain child custody in separations.”

“Hi!” Ebenezer waves at you from the floor. “Why don’t big people ever ask me what I want? I want to live with Mummy and Daddy again, in a candyfloss castle with a pet Feejayoplep. But Mummy and Daddy say ‘no’... because Daddy’s a ‘gnat-brained mule’ and because Mummy’s a ‘satanic slattern from Hell’... I think that means they’re not friends any more. So I want to live with Mummy half the time and Daddy half the time. Then I’d get two bedrooms!”

[Trotterdam]

#1310 Intimate Relations

The Issue

A panel of experts has traced the rising neonatal mortality rate to the growing prevalence of inbreeding.

The Debate

1. "I can't see why you don't just pass a law," grumbles tired-looking midwife Kanye Abbott. "You could just ban all of these... relationships... between @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ closer than second cousins! How hard is that?"

2. "The answer obviously lies in education, not law enforcement," pontificates biology teacher Hayley Abbott. "Science literacy in @@NAME@@ is through the floor, which explains why so many @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ don't understand the dangers of inbreeding. We need more funding for science education so we can really tackle the root of the problem."

3. ???

4. "So I've designed this handy app," says teenager Xu Abbott, "Which lets you see how closely related you are to someone. Just bump your phones together — yes, like that, @@LEADER@@. Huh, who would've known? If I can just get access to everyone's data, I can ensure you don't end up taking your aunt home after a night out. Because we've all been there."

5. ???

6. "It's no good ignoring the @@ANIMAL@@ in the room, @@LEADER@@," warns local mayor Chuck Abbott. "It only takes one look at a slab-jawed Bigtopian or twelve-fingered Oogaboogalander to know where the problem lies — the primitive practices of immigrants. If these backwards savages won't stop shacking up with their cousins, they shouldn't be allowed in."

Issue by AnPrim Island
Edited by Sedgistan

When I saw the first two characters having the same last name I thought it was a coincidence. When I saw all four having the same last name I reconsidered that assessment.

There is a decent chance of this issue having an option 7, too (for nations with No Immigration, I think, and instead of blaming immigrants for the problem, it recommends bringing in immigrants to expand the gene pool). On the other hand, while I might have expected option 5 to be for nations with No Computers, my data doesn't really support that. I have little clue about option 3.

Interesting that none of the options I got go "inbreeding is fine, let it be", but one of the effect lines I've spotted does suggest the existence of such an option...

[TalAkMaChen]

• 1310,3
  

  3. “Science can go one better than that!” pipes up geneticist @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@, waggling his eyebrows at @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_from_option_2@@. “If we screen the embryos of those within a certain degree of consanguinity, we can eliminate all the serious health issues, like neural tube defects, congenital heart malformations and webbed feet. Then we can get with whoever we want!”

  
  1310,4: validity: has computers
  No sign yet of 1310,5
  
• 1312,1 "abandoned @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@" ... "show is Adolescent Zombie Ninja @@ANIMALPLURAL@@." in italics
  1312,3 "mothering guide Stop Whining and Push. " in italics
  1312,4 @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ and "castle with a pet @@ANIMAL@@. "

[Trotterdam]

Actually, I've come to the conclusion that #1310 5 (or possibly 7) is for nations with No Automobiles, which blames the lack of transportation for inbreeding and suggests bringing back cars so people have an easier time meeting people they're no related to. (Nevermind that most nations with No Automobiles have extensive public transport...)

That means that though many of the options have validities, only 6/7 (or possibly 5/6) are actually mutually-exclusive.

[Jutsa]

Can confirm 1312 is just those four options, unless a variant option 5 exists.

[Trotterdam]

Can confirm 1312 is just those four options, unless a variant option 5 exists.

The draft thread has another option, but it was probably cut in editing. (Also note that according to the draft thread, the child's name is random but the parents' are not.)

[TalAkMaChen]

Can confirm 1312 is just those four options, unless a variant option 5 exists.

The draft thread has another option, but it was probably cut in editing. (Also note that according to the draft thread, the child's name is random but the parents' are not.)

Correct, see my addition above. Also Jutsa's animals were still in, all noted


---

And we got #1310,5, as expected for nations without immigration:

5. “It’s no wonder inbreeding’s an issue when our gene pool is so shallow,” says silver fox @@RANDOMALEFIRSTNAME@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@, flipping through a travel brochure. “What these @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ yokels need is some more diversity! @@NAME@@ could bring in spicy newcomers from all corners of the world; just imagine how flavorful the ethnic makeup could get!”

Putting it all together:

#1310: Intimate Relations [AnPrim Island; ed: Sedgistan]

The Issue

A panel of experts has traced the rising neonatal mortality rate to the growing prevalence of inbreeding.

The Debate

1. "I can't see why you don't just pass a law," grumbles tired-looking midwife @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_1@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@. "You could just ban all of these... relationships... between @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ closer than second cousins! How hard is that?"

2. "The answer obviously lies in education, not law enforcement," pontificates biology teacher @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME_2@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@. "Science literacy in @@NAME@@ is through the floor, which explains why so many @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ don't understand the dangers of inbreeding. We need more funding for science education so we can really tackle the root of the problem."

3. “Science can go one better than that!” pipes up geneticist @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_3@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@, waggling his eyebrows at @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_2@@. “If we screen the embryos of those within a certain degree of consanguinity, we can eliminate all the serious health issues, like neural tube defects, congenital heart malformations and webbed feet. Then we can get with whoever we want!”

4. "So I've designed this handy app," says teenager @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_4@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@, "Which lets you see how closely related you are to someone. Just bump your phones together — yes, like that, @@LEADER@@. Huh, who would've known? If I can just get access to everyone's data, I can ensure you don't end up taking your aunt home after a night out. Because we've all been there."

5. “It’s no wonder inbreeding’s an issue when our gene pool is so shallow,” says silver fox @@RANDOMALEFIRSTNAME_5@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@, flipping through a travel brochure. “What these @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ yokels need is some more diversity! @@NAME@@ could bring in spicy newcomers from all corners of the world; just imagine how flavorful the ethnic makeup could get!”

6. "It's no good ignoring the @@ANIMAL@@ in the room, @@LEADER@@," warns local mayor @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_6@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@. "It only takes one look at a slab-jawed Bigtopian or twelve-fingered Oogaboogalander to know where the problem lies — the primitive practices of immigrants. If these backwards savages won't stop shacking up with their cousins, they shouldn't be allowed in."

7. “Maybe the reason inbreeding’s on the rise is that none of these @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ can GO anywhere,” chimes in Maxtopia-based car enthusiast @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME_7@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@. “Without personal transportation, most of these people will die within a few miles of where they were born. What’s THAT doing for the gene pool? I bet the inbreeding problem would go away in a generation if only cars were made legal.”

with validities: 3: some scientific advancement to do the screening??? public healthcare???, 4: has computers, 5: No immigration, 6: immigration, 7: no cars

[Trotterdam]

with validities: 3: some scientific advancement to do the screening??? public healthcare???

My guess would be No Abortion. If abortion is banned, then by the time you have enough of an embryo to perform screening it's too late to cancel the pregnancy.

[Voxija]

with validities: 3: some scientific advancement to do the screening??? public healthcare??

My guess would be No Abortion. If abortion is banned, then by the time you have enough of an embryo to perform screening it's too late to cancel the pregnancy.

I don't think so. I got Option 3 and I definitely allow abortion. Probably just a lot of scientific advancement and public healthcare, like TalAkMaChen said.

[TalAkMaChen]

#1313: The Meek Shall Inherit? [Nuremgard; ed: Zwangzug]

The Issue

Wealthy slaveowner @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@ has passed away, leaving behind several children who wish to divide his estate among themselves. Among them is @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_1@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@, the daughter of @@RANDOMMALENAME_1@@ and one of his female slaves.

The Debate

1. “I am my father’s daughter!” exclaims @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_1@@. “My mother may have been a slave, but my father was a free man, so surely his blood should take precedence? I am entitled to an equal share of my father’s wealth; after all, I worked for that money while my siblings just cracked the whip.”

2. “This is bloody preposterous!” shouts @@RANDOMNAME_2@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME_1@@, red-faced with fury. “My brothers and I should not be cheated out of our inheritance because of this greedy, grasping degenerate. My chattel, er, half-sister is a slave because her mother was a slave. She belongs to us as part of our birthright. She is our property!”

3. “Perhaps a compromise?” suggests peripatetic arbiter @@RANDOMNAME@@. “This woman’s mother was not a citizen, due to being a slave, but her father was free. Why don’t we declare the children of a slave and a free person as half-people? So they can be entitled to half the rights that free citizens enjoy, and @@RANDOMFEMALENAME_1@@ can receive half a share in the inheritance. Problem solved.”

Edit: Names are random, but the family shares the last name, as usual. So far I only saw daugthers/sisters as speakers in option 1/2, so I assume it's all female there. Number 3 was male for me, but no need to fix that I'd say.
Edit Mar 18: I saw this one again, this time with a male "keeper" and a female arbiter. Genders appear only fixed for the first speaker (another daughter).

[Trotterdam]

Here's a properly-formatted #1312:

#1312 Cranmer vs Cranmer

The Issue

Joan Cranmer — a mother who walked out on her partner and son two years ago, voluntarily cutting off all contact until she recently petitioned for custody — has just been awarded full custody of her son by the courts, with the judge stating "children are simply better off with their mother." This controversial ruling has led to calls for you to intervene.

The Debate

1. "She abandoned @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@, and now she wants to play mummy?" snaps Ed, Joan's ex-partner. "She doesn't even know him; I do. His favourite show is Adolescent Zombie Ninja @@ANIMALPLURAL@@. When he's sick, he likes boysenberry juice, through a curly straw. Mothers should know these things, but she went off to 'find herself'. I've done an amazing job with my son, and thanks to my help, he gets excellent grades in school now. Child custody should go to the most suitable parent, not just the one with the uterus. Fit parents don't dump their kid when they get bored."

2. "I was bored with Ed, not my son," insists Joan. "Ed is a very narcissistic man; he was stifling my soul. I couldn't even have friends. Now, I'm much better; I have my own career, and a lovely flat near one of the top schools in the country. I can provide for my son materially and I can be there emotionally. All children need their mother, no matter what. I am grateful that Ed stepped into the breach in my absence, but nothing can make up for a mother's love."

3. "A mother merely does what any common cat does," remarks proudly misogynist author of the mothering guide Stop Whining and Push. "Why does simple childbirth give women special custody rights? Mothers may feel attachment, but fathers provide moral and mental instruction. See how the boy's grades improved with his father's influence." He holds up a book report with 'Did your father write this?' at the bottom. "Clearly, fathers are the more fit parent and should gain child custody in separations."

4. "Hi!" @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ waves at you from the floor. "Why don't big people ever ask me what I want? I want to live with Mummy and Daddy again, in a candyfloss castle with a pet @@ANIMAL@@. But Mummy and Daddy say 'no'... because Daddy's a 'gnat-brained mule' and because Mummy's a 'satanic slattern from Hell'... I think that means they're not friends any more. So I want to live with Mummy half the time and Daddy half the time. Then I'd get two bedrooms!"

Issue by The Free Joy State
Edited by Baggieland

Also, #1309 option 3 is unavailable to nations with Vegetarianism.

[TalAkMaChen]

#1314: Nothing to Write Home About [Candlewhisper Archive; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue
A deployment of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ infantry assigned to peacekeeping in West Brasilistan found that it was constantly being out-manoeuvred by hostile insurgents, with the enemy always seeming to know what the unit’s next move was. Investigation has revealed that an infantryman in the group had been innocently emailing his girlfriend at home about what he was up to, and she in turn had been posting updates on social media, which your observant foes had been carefully monitoring.

The Debate
1. “Don’t blame me, it’s that idiot’s fault for emailing me military information!” cries @@RANDOMFEMALEFIRSTNAME@@, his frankly disloyal girlfriend. “You should court-martial him and kick him out of the army. What sort of useless soldier does this sort of thing? I’ll tell you... the same sort who keeps leering at his girlfriend’s sister at his girlfriend’s birthday party, that’s who.”

2. “Don’t blame me, blame the army!” protests @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, the soldier at the centre of the leak. “I mean, blame the army’s logistics people. I just assumed that there were people screening all our communications back home, and that they’d edit anything sensitive out. I mean, isn’t it reasonable to assume that official editors should be on hand to monitor these things?”

3. “Don’t blame us, blame the system!” yells Army Logistics and Communications Director @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Maybe the grunts on the ground shouldn’t be given sensitive information in the first place. Tell them where to move and who to shoot at, and tell them at the last minute. That way, they don’t have time to mess up carefully made plans.”

4. “Hey, you can blame me if you like,” offers West Brasilistani ‘freedom fighter’ @@RANDOMNAME@@, who looks to have hacked into your private military-encrypted teleconference. “Look, clearly you guys are outclassed by us. How about you get your peacekeepers to ‘peace off’ home, and we’ll call it a stalemate?”

I guess names are random, only had this once so far. Also, I assume it's a man writing his girlfriend ... so genders partly fixed. Maybe a female-only army will not receive this issue, or the genders are reversed then.

Edit: By CWA's reply below it seems like it's always a male soldier with a female friend. The rest ist confirmed random.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

The female-only army decisions isn't tracked, so leads to a lot of story inconsistencies. We pretty much handwave it on all writing.

[Jutsa]

No masagynistic option blaming the girlfriend?

[Juniria]

New issue, yay!

#1316: Gonna Take My Hearse to the Old Town Road

The Issue

A hundred-car funeral procession happened to be passing by the @@CAPITAL@@ stadium just after the final game of the national @@ANIMAL@@ball Cup. The resulting massive traffic jam lasted for the rest of the day and blocked roads in most of downtown @@CAPITAL@@.

The Debate

1. “The funeral procession only blocked traffic because rude sports fans weren’t giving them right of way,” complains undertaker ‘Hit-and-Run’ Han. “If funeral processions were given absolute traffic priority, then the problem would be solved.”

2. “The funeral was responsible for the traffic!” shouts angry sports fan Marleen Torres while making threatening gestures with an @@ANIMAL@@ball bat. “If they hadn’t been moving at walking pace, there would have been no congestion. They should be expected to drive at the same speed as normal traffic, and there ought to be a maximum of five vehicles in a procession. In fact, if the dead were moved in vans instead of hearses, then nobody would feel the need to treat them differently on the road.”

3. “It seems to me that the problem is traffic in general,” states your transportation minister while doodling a skull and crossbones on a subway map. “Why don’t you just build public transit systems from the funeral homes to graveyards? Or you could replace the bike holders on buses with coffin holders. Oh, and more buses and trains for living people too, that’s probably a good idea.”

Issue by The Künungrách of Pangurstan

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Jutsa]

Alright, finally got back to this one.

@1297: Nice issue! Don't suppose my followup to supersoldiers also chains off of option 4, hmm?

@1121.4: Huh, interesting... kinda curious what was going on with the discussion on this one, but I'll keep an eye out since I've got three pages to go.

@198: Pfft, surprised that flew under the radar for so long.

@434.3: Updated~

@591.3: Huh! Will keep an eye out; put that one in my list of known missing issue options.

@645: Fixed, thanks~ (Pretty sure she can be male from past memory and intuition, albeit I admit that's not saying much)

@749: My goodness, I remember seeing this and thinking "Oh golly Drasnia's never going to update this list again is he" and turned out to be right.
Randomized all the first names except Mario, only because Mario and mushrooms do somewhat go together, and because that's an interesting coincidence.

@835.2: Made it @@LASTNAME_1@@ and _1'd the first lastname.

@900: Randomized 1-4

@926: Randomized and macroed 1 and 3

@1088.1: Randomificated (and macroed, alongside the issue opening)

@1206: Also added to my missing options, thank you.

@1297 and @1298: added! -

@1299: Alright, so I also added this, but there's a little confusion here.
So, firstly, I'm curious if the names are all random. I think so, although 4 is interestingly less random-looking.
Secondly, Option 5, I'm pretty sure, is restricted to capitalis—wait you got it and you're socialist? Is this an oversight? Has it been fixed? Or am I missing something?
Finally, Option 4, I believe, is distinguished not by scientific advancement, but by WMD status. My hypothesis is somewhat supported
by the fact that TalAkMaChen does indeed not have WMDs and Candy Bottles does. I'm not completely certain, but I believe that it has to do with the ICBMs.

@1022.5: Yeah, kinda agreeing with you there, Trot. Changed the validity on that one.

@268.2: Missingoptionified.

@925.4: Ahaaah! Very nice! Good reversal snuck in there, I see. Randomnamified Konrad Octavian from option 3.

@123.6: Uuuuh... interesting! Sooo, I'm pretty sure "vat-grown babies" and "no sex" are different policies now (hoping so anyway!), but I'm not entirely sure how this relates to that? Maybe option 5 is for nations where vat-grown babies already exist, but it now bans sexual reproduction entirely? Not sure O_o

---

Anyhow that's all for now. "You added three issues" I know >.> But in my defense it's actually taken me about an hour.
In addition, I admit that I haven't been super enthusiastic about updating lately, particularly going through old listings.
As I said, I'm grateful for all the reports, it's just I've not been really wanting to do much of anything lately. I'm guessing it's either cabin fever,
whatever strange eternal sleepiness lul is hanging over me, sheer laziness, or a combination of the above. But at any rate, progress has been made.

All that said, I will still say that if anyone else would like to take over as listkeeper, be my guest. I admit I'm not sure how much I'd trust a replacement to keep everything
as organized as I have, let alone keep the other lists up-to-date, but my offer is still out there as I, myself, have trouble keeping up sometimes.
And I do enjoy doing it, but lately I've found that it's hard to spend much time at the computer, especially doing stuff like this, without getting physically strained,
which I think adds to my lack of inspiration to rush right to updating this or working on my several other projects.
It is unfortunate, but also undeniable. At any rate, I'll still continue to update this. I can't guarantee I'll be around forever should no replacement come along,
but for now, I'll gladly continue to, albeit at a slow pace, update this, lest someone more passionate about listkeeping and/or NS issues wishes to take over.
(and sorry I didn't get this up-to-date by the end of last year; there ended up being way, way more than I had anticipated >.>)

ed: Also holy crap I've been listkeeper since september 27 2017! I mean, 2 years isn't that long, but still, I'm kinda surprised.
ed2: Italicized that correctly.

[Zwangzug]

@1297: Nice issue! Don't suppose my followup to supersoldiers also chains off of option 4, hmm?

Maybe #1297 4 should give #1285 as a followup, too?

We considered that, but the stats changes it implements are somewhat different from the chain to 1285 (1297 is overall about privacy tradeoffs while the other one isn't), and the team felt it would be better not to have two different stat implementations chaining into the same consequence this time.

[TalAkMaChen]

A while back I reported option 1 for #333 missing.
I just found it (at War Dogs XIII, selected the last opt. hence their Atheism policy), and it's the same wording as option 2, so I got no hint on the validity of either. I thought it was about human sacrifices being legal or not (W13 did not have it), but since both share that wording..?
Or something about Violetism being legal or not? Without any different wording it's near impossible to find which nation gets which variant there.

[TalAkMaChen]

#1315: No Boycott After All; Parliament Just Got Lost [AnPrim Island; ed: Zwangzug]

The Issue

The meeting of the newest randomly-selected Parliament was mysteriously delayed by nearly a week. As Member of Parliament Evan @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ finally revealed in a talk show appearance last night, the reason for this delay was that most new members had no idea where @@CAPITAL@@ was.

The Debate

1. “This just proves what I’ve been saying for ages: it’s time for democracy in @@NAME@@!” shouts activist Ksenya @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ through a particularly loud bullhorn. “Surely the people can elect more knowledgeable leadership than these ignorant clowns! Just start holding regular elections and we’ll have the government cleaned up in no time!”

2. “Now, let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater,” intones political scientist Richard @@RANDOMLASTNAME_2@@. “We may have gotten a bad batch this time, but sortition has a lot of great benefits! Instead of burdening the people of @@NAME@@ with the illusion of choice, why not just limit the pool of potential members of Parliament to the adequately educated? College graduates should be able to bring leadership to @@CAPITAL@@, or at the very least, find it on a map.”

3. “@@RANDOMLASTNAME_2@@ has the right idea, but @@HE@@ doesn’t go far enough,” chimes in self-professed polymath Yolanda @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. “Instead of limiting the pool of potential MPs, why not just make college education compulsory for all adults? Not only will the government be more informed, but the entire nation will be more informed, too! I’m sure there’ll be enough dorms to house all those returning students...”

(for ref. until randomness is confirmed, names were: Evan Nixon, Ksenya Trudeau, Richard Clarke, and Yolanda Jobrani).
Strange enough, after changing back they changed, partially at least. Now they were: Evan Ross, Ksenya Adams, Richard Fox, and Yolanda McCloud. I wonder why only the last names changed -- why should the first be fixed?

[Jutsa]

bless.

[Jutsa]

1302.4 has no right to be that good an option.

... BIGMAMA
- holy crap that issue got supremist fast
Kinda curious if a name like Efthamia Wickremesinghe is random...

For that matter, kinda curious if any/all of the names in 1301 are random, but I've learned it's generally safer to assume yes when I put them into the list.

All of which were very good issues! Not a huge update — just added the last bits of page 247, and updated the list itself to include all the presently known issue titles.

Some comments:
1) Yay, take my hearse to the old town road!
2) CWA going at it again, man
3) Ayy Sedgistan issues and... is that a Sedge edit? :0000
4) Wow this AnPrim getting two issues! Congrats

[The Candy Of Bottles]

1317: Nanny State

The Issue
After the recent birth of the first child of Princess Sashona of The Candy Of Bottles, newspaper pundits have begun to question how Her Royal Highness will juggle the responsibilities of parenthood with her royal duties.

The Debate
0.) “Look no further than I, your super-duper firm-but-fair classy granny’s nanny,” announces Kerri Cracking, sweeping through the door with a stylish bag made entirely out of mohair carpet. “Close your mouths, please, Ministers — we are not a codfish. As you see, I have worked only with the right sorts of family. I am stern, but kind; I don’t put up with any nonsense, but have a somewhat magical effect on the youngsters. With me, the newborn royal will learn good manners, graceful refinement and be prepared to take their proper place in the world. Tell the applicants waiting outside to go fly a kite so I can get on. Spit spot.”

Accept

1.) “What century are you living in?” retorts your brand new Minister for Women’s Equality Ingmar Zaius, while scanning some application forms rather closely. “The royal nanny should be qualified in the latest childcare techniques, child development and first aid, and should be female. This will show the women of the nation your commitment to female employment. And she should be pretty. That way, a Rainbow Pony girls will know that being pretty doesn’t mean a girl can’t have talents; it’ll bust stereotypes. And as the Princess is all pudgy and wan after the birth, it wouldn’t hurt to have her trailed by someone more photogenic... Okay, who said that I won’t last a week at the Ministry?”

Accept

2.) “What century are we living in indeed?” asks your Minister for Transport, while adjusting the rainbow pin on his suit. “Why don’t you hire a manny? A professional manny will be just as well-trained in childcare as any female nanny, and can be glamorous, ensuring the royal children are dressed in the latest and best styles. Not only that, it will show how progressive the royal family are, and how the entire community and their potential contribution to childrearing — regardless of their gender or sexual orientation — is valued. That’s sure to win support for the royal family. How about it?”

Accept

3.) “Why embrace this century when you can embrace the future?” chimes your slightly singed Junior Science Adviser, lugging in his latest robotic prototype. “Meet LUL-2000, an AI nanny. Now, I know the blinking red eye looks a little strange and the hands are still a bit claw-like; the next one will have a skin on it, I swear. But think of this: it’ll show your commitment to technology and science, and it’ll give me a chance to show off the capabilities of my prototype. It feeds babies, burps them, changes them and puts them to bed content and safe 96.7% of the time. And the percentage is rising. I mean, the kids might be scared to begin with but they’ll adapt, right?”

Accept

4.) “Or, here’s a revolutionary idea,” storms an exhausted woman as she bursts through the door, shaking off a toddler clinging to her leg and bouncing a crying newborn. “How about all the toffs look after their right royal brats their right royal selves? Crazy idea, I know. Royals are all busy dubbing ships CBS Snooty-Arse and whatever royals do. Well, I’m sorry, but other working mothers have to manage: up before dawn to do housework, spend half an hour with the kids, feed them, then out to work. Princess Whatshername can manage without help, too.” Shoving her crying baby at you, she waltzes out of the meeting room, returning sheepishly moments later to collect him.

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Tsardom of Nuremgard

Edited by The Free Joy State

Options numbered from source, names left untouched. The vessel is probably @@NAMEINITIALS@@S Snooty-Arse.

As for requirements, the issue itself clearly needs a royal family, while option 3 (4 for me) will require AI of some kind, or at least a high advancement ranking.

[TalAkMaChen]

For those who are curious about validity checks, I have collected some (currently five) issues with unsolved validities. Some are already listed in Jutsa's list as ???, some are listed but incomplete, some others were still unknown/added later.

So, here's the list. Suggestions are welcome, since I'm more or less out of ideas what it could be for some options.

• 302,2: not seen at War Dogs X: They have cars and juristicracy, but what else stops them from seeing that option?
• 439,4: not seen at War Dogs XII and War Dogs XXI: Too high environmental beauty (both 900+, i.e. top 20%)? The option text includes "oppression and pollution everywhere". Maybe also economy, employment, civil rights play into it. No idea how complex such validity checks can be.
• 556,2: not seen at War Dogs XVIII (religiousness 3.49, no Atheism) while War Dogs VIII had it (with religiousness 5.2) - maybe 5.0 is the lower limit for receiving that option?
• 1053,3: not seen at War Dogs XXII: They have "Marriage is legal; Marriage Equality" which are listed as requirements. Maybe Adultery or No Immigration prevents it? Or Permanent Marriage?
• 1121,4: seen at War Dogs XVII with religiousness 7.8, but not at War Dogs XVIII with religiousness 3.49 (despite both having @@FAITH@@ set, no Atheism policy either), also not at War Dogs XX (religiousness 2.4, and Atheism) - maybe 5.0 is the lower limit for receiving that option? Strangest thing: War Dogs II does not see it! With a religiousness of 1000+ and a custom @@FAITH@@. So apparently religiousness alone does not trigger it. No idea which policy/stat could be involved there as well.

Also, 136: Weirdly also seen with an active Atheism policy, but similar to other Atheism-related options of old issues (i.e. in 168, 107), editors have flagged it for internal discussion (cf. the last reply of TFJS here).

[Jutsa]

Nuremgard

This person is a machine. Doesn't even have to draft on the forum and has 16 issues.