NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[TalAkMaChen]

Another oldie with changed number of options, compared to Jutsa's list:
#189 has options 2/3 for nations with and without prisons (mutually exclusive)

i.e.

2. "This has got to stop!" insists @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the censorship board. "I spent 3 hours this morning scraping wensleydale out of my hair! Arrest these lunatics! The protestors and the people responsible for this vile cartoon, throw them all into jail!"

the listed option 3 is option 4 ("“Arrrrrgh!” ....) while the third option is only for nation without prisons and reads like this:

“This has got to stop!” insists @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the censorship board. “I spent 3 hours this morning scraping Wensleydale out of my hair! Arrest these lunatics! The protestors and the people responsible for this vile cartoon, put them in stocks, and throw blue cheese at them!”

On that note, did "Wensleydale" also get a capital W in option 2? It's some English hardcheese, so it should probably be.

[Trotterdam]

I did point that one out.

[TalAkMaChen]

I did point that one out.

Ah, well. Didn't see it, just checked the first list. However, your post does not include the prison/no prison point that seperates the options 2/3. So my point remains legit.

[Trotterdam]

Yeah, you weren't wrong to post that. I'm just getting annoyed about previous reports that would have made this stuff easier to find being ignored.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I know Jutsa said he's been pretty busy, but wants to keep running the thread for now. Maybe poke him with telegrams if there's specific things he needs to catch up on.

[TalAkMaChen]

Indeed, well - Trotterdam had pointed out that issue 189 had 4 options already in 2017 but it's not noted in the "grand list". So there are a lot of smaller things piled up already and I understand it's quite an effort to keep the thing up to date. Sadly, however, only Jutsa can edit those things (and forum moderators, true but they surely don't want to bother with such details?).

[Jutsa]

I know Jutsa said he's been pretty busy, but wants to keep running the thread for now. Maybe poke him with telegrams if there's specific things he needs to catch up on.

Wow, thanks CWA

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Thanks are due to you, mate. Great work you've done here.

[Jutsa]

Sometimes, you just some free time, and you get an itch to do something when you're in the mood to do nothing else.

Can't explain it... just happens.

@1204: Said this before, I just love this

And having FINALLY read option 3 — holy crap

Not even sure if I'm going to ask about name randomness at this point though; it's something I don't think I'll ever get nailed down packed

@1205: Thank you, Luna — you finally filled in this gaping hole with something magical

@1206: I remember this one

from a long time ago <_<

I remember learning about this issue happening to the US when watching a Great Courses Plus video on economist logic — great issue :3

also "sensually sighs the Priestess of the Wet God" oh my god

(It was at about this point I went to get some ice cream, which turned into a massive 15-minute dinner)

@1207:

Do Harry and Draco acknowledge their simmering sexual chemistry?

oh. my. god.

@1208: Hey! I remember I helped someone a long time ago make a draft about this, which proceeded to be incinerated!
Glad to see an issue on the topic in-game now :3
Option 4's speaker's really cute btw, my goodness

@1209: Not much to say, just a nice issue

@1210: Again, not much to say; just a good issue

@1211: Actually read this one a while back; is a pretty interesting issue, actually, and I learned a little something about China in reading this
Congratulations on the issue, Japanese Schoolgirls—ok gotta admit it's hard not to giggle when saying your name

@1212: So glad to see an issue of yours make it to the game, Super Fork! And a very good one at that
And my gosh, option 3 is great xD
Important question, though: Is Northern Brancaland a new nation? Cause that N is capitalized in your report...

@1213: The only issue I have a beef with — seriously what is this? Ugh, that author really should have spent more time drafting
and what about that editor? Putting THIS into the game? Wow, just, ugh, it's a pigsty, really needed less meat on it and better taste

@1214:

But the LORD sayeth YOU SHALLETH NOT prick the finger of THE GAYETH because you might becometh GAYETH yourself. Eth!

I love this game.

Oh, also, looks like we've gotta keep our eyes open for option 2 I guess — whatever that validity is :v

@1215: I said it when it was being drafted, and I'll say it again, I love this issue xD

Also holy crap that geronticide reversal option out of nowhere, nice — wait I think I may've mentioned in the discord or something about the implications of this and geronticide, for that matter <_<

@1216: Nice

@1217: Nice. Smart premise, this one.
And option 3 I'm just plain impressed by

@1218: Congratulations, ACBC! Not surprised by an accepted issue from you, but still, really neat to see
Haven't seen option 4 yet, though I've a few pages to get through

@1219: This makes me happy.

I love when that happens.

Thank you all for your contributions; enjoyed each and every one of them

Sorry this is all I had time for — hope to eventually get the others done too~

edit: Forgot to mention, also updated my directory for up to issue 1137, as I have NSI's list
edit2: also updated my lists of nations, religions, and missing options

[Trotterdam]

@1204: Said this before, I just love this

And having FINALLY read option 3 — holy crap

Oh, by the way, I just had a quick look and you should take note of this. And there's been four pages since then...

Congratulations on the issue, Japanese Schoolgirls—ok gotta admit it's hard not to giggle when saying your name

What really bugs me is that I can't find any justification for the name in the nation's factbooks. It does not, in fact, appear to be a nation of Japanese Schoolgirls, despite the name.

@1212: So glad to see an issue of yours make it to the game, Super Fork! And a very good one at that
And my gosh, option 3 is great xD
Important question, though: Is Northern Brancaland a new nation? Cause that N is capitalized in your report...

It's more likely a province name.

@1213: The only issue I have a beef with — seriously what is this? Ugh, that author really should have spent more time drafting
and what about that editor? Putting THIS into the game? Wow, just, ugh, it's a pigsty, really needed less meat on it and better taste

That's an ironic complaint for an issue about compulsory veget- oh, wait, it's your issue. Ha ha.

[Jutsa]

fixed larva; also finally changed Marche Blanc to Marche Blanche

[Trotterdam]

#1238 No Shoes, No Service

The Issue

The rise of the Barefoot Wanderers, a newly formed religion, has led to an increasing number of people going about their daily lives without shoes or socks on. Tobias Smith, famous movie star and new convert to the religion, recently made national headlines after he was forcibly removed from an uptown restaurant for his lack of footwear.

The Debate

1. "This is discrimination in its dirtiest form, just like in my upcoming movie, Faith Laid Bare," raves Smith, pointedly resting his dirt-caked feet on your desk. "It says in our most sacred texts that covering toes is giving service to the Sock-Devil. Being forced to wear such abominations is oppressing religious freedom! Besides, look at these toes, just look at them. Ain't they beautiful?" He wiggles them under your nose.

2. "Would you really want to dine in an establishment that smells of uncovered feet?" counters restaurateur Bharatendu Bond, as he pan-fries a durian and Surströmming fritter. "We have a sign that clearly states our 'No Shoes, No Service' policy, and that is for the enjoyment of all the people that we serve. Businesses should be able to enjoy the right to refuse service to anyone they wish — they're our own restaurants, after all."

3. "Bl-euch! These foot-worshippers and toe-fetishists make me sick!" gags your Minister of Standards, adjusting his pink-and-green three-piece suit and yellow suede brogues. "I say that allowing people to dress so sloppily is ruining the very fabric of @@NAME@@! You must demand that everyone should wear smart shoes at all times when in public. It's about professionalism and decency, don't you know?"

Issue by Sacara
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

All names look random.

[Jutsa]

Congrats, Sacara! Been waiting for this one

[TalAkMaChen]

#1239: The Walking, Talking, and Irritated Dead
The Issue

Seven years ago Oliver King went missing after a yachting accident, and has since been declared officially dead. However, he recently re-emerged and came back to @@NAME@@. Despite showing up in person to get his death certificate reversed, he found he could not do so. His mortician has come to complain to you on his behalf, as corpses aren’t allowed in the building.

The Debate

1, “It seems silly to me that my corpse... er, I mean patient, is still considered dead,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the mortician of Oliver King, as @@HE@@ pushes a gurney with a covered and very life-like mannequin on it. “If somebody who has been declared dead shows up and gets an examination, the doctor should be able to change their legal status to living.”

2, The mannequin suddenly sits up, revealing itself to be @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, who was also declared legally dead after getting lost in the rain forests of Macronesia ten years ago. “Being dead isn’t all bad, I suppose. There are no taxes, my family got an insurance pay-out... I guess it’s kind of fun to be a ‘zombie’! You should just let me stay legally dead. People like me, who officially ‘don’t exist’, can’t claim any government benefits, so you guys get to save some money too.”

3, “I may have made a mistake, but after seven years it’s reasonable to presume someone isn’t coming back,” states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the registrar who made the death of Oliver King official. “Of course Oliver is still alive and should be registered as such. Therefore, his family should be made to return their insurance pay-out, and his last will and testament needs to be scrutinized to see if they received any other benefits from his death.”

4, “You know, maybe @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ is on to something,” says your Minister of Necromancy, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Maybe we should create a task force of legally dead people to eliminate dissenters. We can deny their existence easily because they’re all dead, and if anybody tries to blow the lid off it, they’ll just sound like a crackpot who believes children’s stories!”

5, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ZOMBIE!” screams your young and excitable niece. “KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT!” Your sister comes in to try to calm the hysterical girl down, as she shouts over the screaming. “Seriously though, if the government says people are dead, they ought to ensure it.”

Issue by The Windowmakers of Window Land
Edited by Baggieland

By all the mentionings of Oliver King and related (he,his etc.) it seems the name was non-random, but I'll leave that open for now. After seeing the draft, however, it seems the names are indeed all random with the macros @@HIS@@ etc. Please check if anyone got the same or different names
late edit: thanks for confirmation, I now changed to the (hopefully) correct macros

[Bears Armed]

#1239: The Walking, Talking, and Irritated Dead
The Issue

Seven years ago Oliver King went missing after a yachting accident, and has since been declared officially dead. However, he recently re-emerged and came back to @@NAME@@. Despite showing up in person to get his death certificate reversed, he found he could not do so. His mortician has come to complain to you on his behalf, as corpses aren’t allowed in the building.

The Debate

1, “It seems silly to me that my corpse... er, I mean patient, is still considered dead,” says Jean-Paul Schmidt, the mortician of Oliver King, as he pushes a gurney with a covered and very life-like mannequin on it. “If somebody who has been declared dead shows up and gets an examination, the doctor should be able to change their legal status to living.”

2, The mannequin suddenly sits up, revealing itself to be Nomfundo Armstrong, who was also declared legally dead after getting lost in the rain forests of Macronesia ten years ago. “Being dead isn’t all bad, I suppose. There are no taxes, my family got an insurance pay-out... I guess it’s kind of fun to be a ‘zombie’! You should just let me stay legally dead. People like me, who officially ‘don’t exist’, can’t claim any government benefits, so you guys get to save some money too.”

3, “I may have made a mistake, but after seven years it’s reasonable to presume someone isn’t coming back,” states Wesley Gilbreth, the registrar who made the death of Oliver King official. “Of course Oliver is still alive and should be registered as such. Therefore, his family should be made to return their insurance pay-out, and his last will and testament needs to be scrutinized to see if they received any other benefits from his death.”

4, “You know, maybe Nomfundo Armstrong is on to something,” says your Minister of Necromancy, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Maybe we should create a task force of legally dead people to eliminate dissenters. We can deny their existence easily because they’re all dead, and if anybody tries to blow the lid off it, they’ll just sound like a crackpot who believes children’s stories!”

5, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ZOMBIE!” screams your young and excitable niece. “KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT!” Your sister comes in to try to calm the hysterical girl down, as she shouts over the screaming. “Seriously though, if the government says people are dead, they ought to ensure it.”

Issue by The Windowmakers of Window Land
Edited by Baggieland

By all the mentionings of Oliver King and related (he,his etc.) it seems the name was non-random, but I'll leave that open for now. After seeing the draft, however, it seems the names are indeed all random with the macros @@HIS@@ etc. Please check if anyone got the same or different names

One of my nations received this yesterday: confirm 'Oliver King'; option 1 = is different name (and sex), option 2 = different name (is "Nomfundo" a male name or a female one? My copy featured 'Roger Chekov'...), option 3 = different name (but also male, in this case), and in option 4 the Minister of necromancy was 'Debra Price'.

[The Candy Of Bottles]

1,240: Unadmirable Zeal

The theocratic nation of Sacerdia has long been embroiled in war with one of its neighbors, and recently that neighbor has forged a strategic alliance with Blackacre, a global superpower that your nation has always had somewhat unfriendly relations with. Fearful that this will tip the balance of power against them, Sacerdia is seeking an alliance with The Candy Of Bottles, offering multiple favorable trade deals that would bring billions to the a Rainbow Pony economy, and long-term access to its territory for the establishment of strategically-valuable a Rainbow Pony military bases. The nation’s staunchly religious policies and culture, however, are a stark contrast to your nation’s avowed secularism.

The Debate
0.) “This is an offer we can’t refuse!” exclaims your giddy Minister of Foreign Affairs. “Sure, the Sacerdians might be a little nutty in their religious beliefs, but the people they’re fighting have promised to ‘wipe The Candy Of Bottles off the map’, or so their ambassador tells me. Not to mention that if Blackacre is expanding its influence in that region, we ought to as well! I think we can hold our noses and help them out even if it means compromising our beliefs just a little.”

Accept

1.) “We can work together, but only on a conditional basis,” replies your Minister of Secularism, resting her feet on a stack of Sacerdian holy books. “If they want our help, they need to start making some changes to their way of life. Tell them that the price of our assistance is transitioning to a secular government that respects the right to non-belief. Sacerdia is surrounded by other theocracies and fascist states, so we need to take this opportunity to instill our a Rainbow Pony and democratic values into the region.”

Accept

2.) “And you think that cesspool of a nation is going to abandon its deeply held delusions overnight?” scoffs one of your foreign policy advisers while rolling her eyes. “We’re talking about a nation that publicly executes anyone who speaks out against their religion! Their government is a lost cause — we should be helping out their people. Fund anti-theocratic dissidents, and create an underground railroad to help atheist Sacerdians escape their country. We have a moral responsibility to undermine religious tyranny.”

Accept

3.) “Bah! Who cares about some despotic hellhole in the middle of nowhere?” dismisses Bella Rhee, one of the top commanders in the military. “Sacerdia and its equally noxious neighbour states lack nuclear weapons, so we can just blast the whole region back to the Stone Age with no risk of retaliation. The world will breathe easier without all these fanatics troubling it!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[TalAkMaChen]

1240: Unadmirable Zeal

The theocratic nation of Sacerdia has long been embroiled in war with one of its neighbors, and recently that neighbor has forged a strategic alliance with Blackacre, a global superpower that your nation has always had somewhat unfriendly relations with. Fearful that this will tip the balance of power against them, Sacerdia is seeking an alliance with @@NAME@@, offering multiple favorable trade deals that would bring billions to the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ economy, and long-term access to its territory for the establishment of strategically-valuable @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ military bases. The nation’s staunchly religious policies and culture, however, are a stark contrast to your nation’s avowed secularism.

The Debate
1. “This is an offer we can’t refuse!” exclaims your giddy Minister of Foreign Affairs. “Sure, the Sacerdians might be a little nutty in their religious beliefs, but the people they’re fighting have promised to ‘wipe @@NAME@@ off the map’, or so their ambassador tells me. Not to mention that if Blackacre is expanding its influence in that region, we ought to as well! I think we can hold our noses and help them out even if it means compromising our beliefs just a little.”

2. “We can work together, but only on a conditional basis,” replies your Minister of Secularism, resting her feet on a stack of Sacerdian holy books. “If they want our help, they need to start making some changes to their way of life. Tell them that the price of our assistance is transitioning to a secular government that respects the right to non-belief. Sacerdia is surrounded by other theocracies and fascist states, so we need to take this opportunity to instill our @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ and democratic values into the region.”

3. “And you think that cesspool of a nation is going to abandon its deeply held delusions overnight?” scoffs one of your foreign policy advisers while rolling her eyes. “We’re talking about a nation that publicly executes anyone who speaks out against their religion! Their government is a lost cause — we should be helping out their people. Fund anti-theocratic dissidents, and create an underground railroad to help atheist Sacerdians escape their country. We have a moral responsibility to undermine religious tyranny.”

4. “Bah! Who cares about some despotic hellhole in the middle of nowhere?” dismisses @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of the top commanders in the military. “Sacerdia and its equally noxious neighbour states lack nuclear weapons, so we can just blast the whole region back to the Stone Age with no risk of retaliation. The world will breathe easier without all these fanatics troubling it!”


Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Rkainjel]

Issue # 462 for the NS Index Wiki - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me

Option Number 2 has changed from:

"A protesting, middle-aged, overweight female resident, sporting an unflattering dress and far too much makeup, demands your attention. "Do you expect a young, single, and needless I say attractive female like myself to walk the streets IN THE DARK!? Oh how all the unsavory characters across @@NAME@@ would just love that! Stop pandering to this madness and keep the streets lit whatever the cost!" |

to

"A woman in yoga pants pauses stretching to remark: “Excuse me, do you see what I’ve got going on here? I can’t be walking this down unlit streets at night. I can barely do it in the daytime. Keeping the lights on at all times will make Rkainjel feel safe and welcoming for everyone, not just the heavily armed.” She adjusts her gym bag, which clanks."

The outcome is still the same. "The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused."

[TalAkMaChen]

#1242, Jump Leads
The Issue

Free-runners and urban-climbers have taken to the internet to post photos of themselves performing gymnastic feats in ridiculously dangerous places, such as atop the highest spire of @@ANIMAL@@ Castle, or on skyscraper radio aerials hundreds of metres off the ground. Last week — while carrying out a rooftop backflip that he would have described as routine — one of them lost his footing and fell to his death.

The Debate

1. (cannot see that one)

2. “Kids are foolish and impressionable, and they’ll do anything to get famous,” lectures Community Rehabilitation Officer @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Give them warnings, and they just nod their heads, then come back the next evening. The only approach that will work here is extended therapy. Clearly, these look-at-me tendencies stem from being denied their mother’s breasts during weaning, leaving deep psychological scars. We must fix these poor broken children!”

3. “Anyone stupid enough to risk their life in this way is not going to be hard to outwit,” suggests smug chemical engineer Elmo Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff. “I’ve recently made considerable advances in the fields of hyperallergenic anti-climb paints, near-frictionless surface coatings, and anti-trespasser automated tasers. Give me a budget, and I’ll make your cities unclimbable.”

4. “Hey, this is MY life, and MY choice!” says a voice from above you. You look up to see a teenager hanging upside-down from your chandelier. “You want to do something for urban climbers? Well, it’s hard to concentrate on climbing while having to look over your shoulder for security guards. Make the outside of any building a public byway, and it’ll be safer all round.”

5. “So these kids do this because they want to be famous on the internet, right?” observes the inevitable technophobic nutter that always seems to turn up to these debates. “If you ban the internet, then no more problems, right?”

Issue by The AI See You of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by Baggieland

Option 1 was hidden, also the name in option 3 might be random/partly random.

[Trotterdam]

1. (cannot see that one)

It's the No Prison policy.

[TalAkMaChen]

Another gap to fill in the list!
#1227, Girls on Film

The Issue

Bigtopian immigrant Tanya was working as a domestic maid in @@NAME@@, and taking considerable liberties within her role, including: trying on expensive clothes, napping on the homeowners’ bed and drinking straight from the milk bottle. These behaviours were brought to light thanks to hidden cameras installed by her suspicious employers.

The Debate

1. “The audacity of that girl!” exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, dropping the soiled tissue @@HE@@ has wiped @@HIS@@ nose with onto your floor, assuming that it’ll be picked up by someone later. “We gave that girl a job, and this is how she repays us? In fact, she should repay us! Every penny of the wage that she has been given should be forfeited and returned. This should be the case precedent, setting an example that working for the ‘better classes’ is a privilege, not a right.”

2. “I’ve always said Bigtopians are filthy and deceptive,” smirks @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HIS@@ sickly grin repulses most people in the room. “Though honestly, I think we made a mistake letting these people into our country in the first place. Criminality runs in their blood, and we’d be far better off sending them all home. No more foreigners means no more problems, I’m sure.”

3. “They spied on her with cameras?” queries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a civil rights activist, as @@HE@@ turns on a tape recorder to record the conversation. “They could have been using these hidden devices to watch her undress, use the toilet and who knows what else. This blatant violation of privacy cannot be allowed — home electronic recording and broadcasting devices should only ever be deployed with the explicit consent of those being observed.”

4. “These are bad people,” offers the accused maid, eyes to the ground. “Many of my friend also have bad employer, @@LEADER@@, please allow us the right to quit a job and look for better employer. No more stuck with visa sponsor. I come work for you instead? You are nice person, I can be good maid for nice person.”

Issue by The AI See You of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by Baggieland

The main character's name (here Tanya) could also be RANDOMFEMALENAME, please check.

[Trotterdam]

So... remember #998? That issue that looked like we'd never find it because it has such a rare validity?

Somebody just posted it to NSindex today.

And we're only 244 issues later!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

176 nations got this issue last month. Which isn't many, I know, when it's close to 10,000 nations for the most frequently encountered issues. But it's not near at the bottom either. For instance, Issue 301 only got assigned 18 times, and the Easter Eggs are all pretty rare too. It's only a little bit less prevalent than the chain issues.

[Trotterdam]

In other news, #211 option 2 is only available to capitalist nations.

[Trotterdam]

#1234 I Declare a Thumb War

The Issue

A long-lost treaty with the aboriginal population of @@NAME@@ has been recently and conveniently uncovered, guaranteeing the right to settle legal cases by the traditional means of Thumb War. Documents in hand, Elder Dana 'Finger Crusher' Woolf is seeking to settle a longstanding real estate ownership dispute with a frail and arthritic CEO in the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ industry.

The Debate

1. "For too long, my people have been denied our rights to this valuable land, and the economic power it brings," she roars, working an enormous exercise band with her equally enormous thumbs. "You must respect our rights, and prove that your government is honorable. Tell you what, rather than deciding government policy with debates and chatter, why don't you stick out that puny thumb of yours, @@LEADER@@, and let's get this over with. I promise not to humiliate you... much!"

2. "Now hold on a moment!" interjects General Minerva Edwards, head of an eccentric military research branch. "We shouldn't thumb our nose at this treaty, but see how it doesn't specify who they face off against? My office has been secretly developing a mechanical exo-suit, and it's time to field test our new Mega Glove! I bet one of our soldiers would make a great champion!"

3. "Who's got two thumbs and a money making idea? This guy!" enthuses television executive Willie Longfellow, pointing at himself. "Instead of tying up the real courts with this sort of thing, let me make a legally-binding reality-sports-procedural show out of it! Think of the viewing numbers! Everybody will tune in to see if the plucky bar-room thumb wrestler can train enough to overcome the mighty hands of big business lawyers over the course of a season... no, two seasons! Oh, the montages we'll have!"

4. "Whoever wrote this must have been all thumbs... I don't think our government can really be held accountable for it," weasels your Minister of Exceptions. "It's so badly written, I practically need a translator to read it! Just tie it up in court with endless challenges to what each word means — I&#146;m sure it'll get thrown out eventually."

Issue by Verdant Haven
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

The draft thread suggests that all names are random, except that "this guy" is always male.