NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Trotterdam]

I come bearing variant options.

#719 Buried Bones Unearth Debate

The Issue

A group of college students on a camping trip to the outskirts of @@NAME@@ stumbled across an ancient mass grave site. The proper treatment of the remains has become a hot button issue, as various groups have staked their claims.

The Debate

1. "These bones belonged to our ancestors! Or, at least we called dibs first!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a representative of the Violetstone tribe, close enough that you can feel the spittle flying from @@HIS/HER@@ lips. "How would you like it if we poked and prodded the remains of your ancestors? We deserve - no, we have the right - to take these bones back to our land and ceremonially burn them as our cultural heritage dictates."

2. "You can't seriously consider giving up such valuable information, can you?" gasps @@RANDOMNAME@@, a Professor of Anthropology at @@CAPITAL@@ University. "The information from these remains is invaluable. This is a rare opportunity to learn about ancient @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ culture and where we came from. Let us put these bones to the test, so to speak, and place our national knowledge first. We need to send these remains to the university, along with some grant money, for research and testing."

3. "Burn them? Letting them rot in some dank university closet? You can't let these travesties occur!" demands @@RANDOMNAME@@, the curator of the Maxsonian Museum Of History. "These bones are in pristine condition and deserve to be seen by the public! Imagine the revenue and tourism that would be brought in if you allowed me to display these bones, bared for all to see! Who cares if it upsets some smug know-it-alls or overly sensitive descendants? This is preservation! This is money, err, culture!"

4. "Hey, what's the big idea trying to pick and choose who gets what?" questions college student @@RANDOMNAME@@, followed closely by @@HIS/HER@@ peers. "We found those bones, so we should get to take them for ourselves! Our right to the claim is firmly supported by the case of Finders Keepers v Losers Weepers. Plus, I really need to pass my thesis. I'm running out of time and these bones would really put me over the top!"

5. "Hey, what’s the big idea trying to pick and choose who gets what?" questions college student @@RANDOMNAME@@, followed closely by @@HIS/HER@@ peers. "We found those bones, so we should get to take them for ourselves! Our right to the claim is firmly supported by the established precedent of 'Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers'. Plus, I really need to pass my thesis. I'm running out of time and these bones would really put me over the top!"

Issue by The Ketchwan Republic
Edited by Nation of Quebec

Huh. Validity: No Judiciary?

#1162 She’s Always a Woman to Me

The Issue

Your Minister for Anti-Homosexuality, Willy Joel, was recently arrested for sleeping with a transwoman who possessed male genitals. Homosexuality is illegal in @@NAME@@, but many around you are unsure if his actions count as breaking the law. In chains and on his knees, the fallen minister waits for you to decide his fate.

The Debate

1. "Oh @@LEADER@@, thank you for allowing me this audience!" cries the relieved Willy. "You know that I fully support the homosexuality ban. I am straight, and I'm not at all attracted to men. My lover is not a man. She's a woman, and what I was doing with her was completely legal. She just so happens to still have a penis, that's all. Please, release both of us and I'll work hard to take down all the hidden homosexuals in this nation."

2. ???

3. "Either way, he is still a deviant pervert," contends the bearded Acting Minister for Anti-Homosexuality. "We must clarify that our laws cover this sort of abhorrent behavior; a penis is not a technicality! Although I'm sure our friend here has been enjoying his time in chains, I say we make an example out of this debauchee and hang both him and his plaything."

4. "Just because a person is trapped in the body of the opposite sex, doesn't mean they should automatically be perceived as gay," asserts the limp-wristed Sub-Minister for Anti-Homosexuality. "They're actually attracted to their opposite sex; they just happen to be that sex at the same time... involuntarily. It can be confusing, I'll grant you that. To avoid further muddle, I propose the government provide funds for all transsexual individuals to undergo mandatory sex reassignment surgery."

5. "Or..." shouts your resident poet @@RANDOMNAME@@, followed by an overly long pause for dramatic effect. "You step out of the shadowlands, shift course and sail the ship of @@RANDOMNAME@@ on great winds bearing perfume and warmth, towards a shore where love is love and to love is never a crime." Looking at the blank faces of your ministers, he sighs and turns to you. "You know, just legalize it, man."

Issue by The Marsupial Illuminati
Edited by Gnejs

These appear to be the reported options, so I don't know what's missing.

[Gnejs]

It’s the same as #3, but valid if you don’t have capital punishment to begin with. Very boring explanation, but a useful way to make options do different things depending on your starting point.

[Valrifell]

#1165: Crosswords Beget Angry Letters [Lislandia; ed: Nation of Quebec]

The Issue

A major national newspaper is taking heat after one of its crossword puzzles contained the answer ‘BIGWIGS’, which is considered a racial slur by Bigtopians. This is not the first time the paper has come under fire for its puzzling word choices, and concerned citizens are squaring off outside your door in hopes of filling in the blanks for you.

The Debate

Choice 0: “Get a clue, @@LEADER@@!” shouts Basil Sullivan, president of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Civil Liberties Alliance, as he snaps one of your pencils in half. “It is well known throughout @@REGION@@ that the B-word is a degrading term referring to members of our nation’s Bigtopian community. There is only one solution: demand that the paper fire those who permitted this puzzle to go to print. That should send a warning to everyone that such disrespect and callousness will never be tolerated!”

Choice 1: “What’s a five-letter word that means ‘iciness’?” inquires @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Pantz, crossword editor for the newspaper in question, glancing up from a recent puzzle submission @@HE@@ is proofreading. “Oh, that’s right, ‘CHILL!’ Look, the word ‘bigwigs’ simply refers to elitist fat cats, as was clued in the puzzle. On rare occasions, perfectly legitimate words that have sometimes been used as slurs like ‘porp’, ‘beepus’, or ‘jonky’, are fair use in a puzzle. Apologies to anyone who was offended, but that’s where the matter ends. That’s as black-and-white as it gets.”

Choice 2: “Solving this puzzle requires us to think outside the box,” interjects Francine @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, chairperson of the Committee on Appropriate Language in Media. “This problem indicates a lack of varied perspectives within the corporate and media worlds. We should look to promote greater diversity in the workplace, which means instituting government-mandated sensitivity training, financial incentives for companies who hire from certain target groups, and increased funding for programs that seek the advancement of underrepresented communities. It will be expensive, but can we really put a price on inclusivity?”

Choice 4: “This wouldn’t even be a problem if we nationalized the media!” exclaims Manny Festaux, your Minister of Orwellian Orthodoxy. “Imagine how much easier it would be to pick and choose the content that was published in the dailies. Not only that, but you won’t have to worry anymore about negative publicity directed at you! Now, shall we replace these pesky crosswords with word searches or sudokus?”

Not 100% about the macros; I only took out the names that were in the first and last name lists of the OP. Are those definitive? If not, I'll hold onto the issue until someone confirms so I can put the names back in. The first name of Choice 1 was "Bill", and the last name of Choice 2 was "Bush".

Also looks like there's a "Choice 3" I clearly don't have access to, how exciting!

I just got this one but I answered it before I realized it wasn't logged yet. My bad!

If I recall correctly Option 3 should just be the socialist variant of Option 2

[Bears Armed]

#1166

Acres Wild

The Issue

Upon the planned completion of their vacation estate in northern @@NAME@@, a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ billionaire has additionally, and unexpectedly, purchased the vast bulk of a large forest adjacent to their property for the sole purpose of stocking and hunting @@ANIMAL@@.

The Debate

1. “Nobody should have a right to that much land!” shouts Tabitha Le Carré, the mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ Grove. “That forest has sustained this town for years! Tradespeople responsibly take lumber, families near and far hike the trails, and there’s a thriving birdwatching industry. All these people depend on the land and this charlatan just suddenly squats on it! What a waste. Not only should this particular forest be returned to us, Bears Armed needs to conduct a thorough review of these land holdings and reverse this practice of theft once and for all.”

2. “What poppycock! I have grand plans for this forest!” exclaims the shocked billionaire who can be seen wearing a wide-brimmed sunhat. “I’m planning on fashioning my own private hunting forest. There are some remarkably rare animals here that would look simply lovely on my wall. That said, while I may be inclined to hunt, our country’s finer citizens might wish to augment their holdings instead. Only the wealthiest have the presence of mind to academically appreciate the gifts of Mother Nature. If you encourage them to commit to further woodland area purchases, @@NAME@@ will surely see a diversity of forest management techniques.”

3. “What incredible selfishness!” protests Birgitta Savage, a conservationist. “Who do these people think they are? It’s neither the town nor the rich snob’s forest! Nobody should own it! Both groups have visions of exploitation borne out of their own self-centeredness. The government must protect all public land from these hearts of greed and from those monsters who would use that land to hunt innocent animals for sport.”

Issue by The First Thalmor Reign of Altmer Dominion
Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Bears Armed]

#1152: 'Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting!' [author = Bears Armed; editor = Nation of Quebec]

^_^

As it' been a week since this entered play, and nobody else has reported anything about it yet (maybe the validity is a bit narrow…) I’ll do so:

# 1152

Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting!

The Issue
A report in today’s news suggests that the recent martial arts craze may be getting out of hand after the latest in a series of incidents left over a dozen people in @@CAPITAL@@ needing hospital treatment.

The Debate
1/ “One moment, it was just two teenagers arguing over which had shoved the other in the cinema queue to see Knuck Chorris Meets Big Drago, then, as fast as lightning, just about everybody in sight was fighting!” exclaims Gabriel Cohen, a bruised and shaken businessman who’s being interviewed at the scene. “Not just kids, but shoppers and commuters too, kicking and punching each other, and doing poses like Drunken @@ANIMAL@@ right there in public! It was a little bit frightening. The government ought to ban teaching that sort of thing, and shut down all the Bojos or Hojos or whatever they’re called.”

2/ “Ahh, so a few young whippersnappers got a bit too lively,” comments @@CAPITAL@@’s gruff and aging police chief. “What’s needed isn’t trying to stop folks from learning how to fight, because they’ll always be doing that whether they call it Kung-Fu or Kung Pao or just plain old brawling. What’s needed is more police on the beat with better funding for our own training and gear. To keep the peace, of course.”

3/ “If this humble one, whose name is Master Po, might be heard?” suggests a passer-by with a long white beard that touches the ground, speaking to a broadcasting reporter. “The true problem is not that so many people are learning these arts, grasshopper. It is that unfortunately too many of their teachers have been focusing solely on the arts’ physical aspects without also instructing their pupils in the underlying philosophical principles that would lead those people away from welcoming violent confrontation. I suggest making the teachings of the Seven Sages of Old a core part of this country’s education system - not just for those who would then learn to fight, but for everybody who would learn anything. This is the wisest answer available.”

Issue by [nation]Bears Armed[nation]
Edited by Nation of Quebec
(Entered use 21st January 2019)

The speaker in option 1 is probably @@RANDOMNAME@@.

The 'effect' line for option 3 is "the 'three Rs' have become the 'four Rs' with the addition of Rightful Thought".

And the 'effect' line for option 2 is "the standard police uniform now comes with several colours of belt".

I received this with Bears Armed Mission as the next issue after answering #109 ‘Karate Kids Cause Controversy’ and choosing the first option for that issue, so that's evidently one way of getting this...

[Jutsa]

All good issues.

#1124 was magnificent; made sure to update my list of religions. Congrats, Fauxia.

#1165: Funny I post a puzzle draft right after this 'un.
ed: almost forgot, gotta add that to my list of nations too. ._.

#719: Thank you, Trot. Still gotta add these variant options to NSI.
Which reminds me, we now need #1162.2 and #1165.4. >__<

Thank you all for the reports! Oh, and there should also be a 1167 out...

[Trotterdam]

And the 'effect' line for option 2 is "the standard police uniform now comes with several colours of belt".

Yeah yeah, I figured that out ages ago.

I could, however, use some help with the effect lines for #1166. I think they're this way around:
1. farmers have taken to hunting billionaires who encroach on their land
2. the backs of 'No Trespassing' signs were made for you and me
3. wildlife have trouble navigating the electric fences surrounding national forests
...but I'm not really confident.

I received this with Bears Armed Mission as the next issue after answering #109 ‘Karate Kids Cause Controversy’ and choosing the first option for that issue, so that's evidently one way of getting this...

That's interesting though. I'll check if that's always the case.

Which reminds me, we now need #1162.2

Gnejs implied it has the same text as option 3.

[Jutsa]

Oh, right.

[Bears Armed]

I could, however, use some help with the effect lines for #1166. I think they're this way around:
1. farmers have taken to hunting billionaires who encroach on their land
2. the backs of 'No Trespassing' signs were made for you and me
3. wildlife have trouble navigating the electric fences surrounding national forests
...but I'm not really confident.

Sorry, I dismissed that one.

[Jutsa]

Yeah, pretty sure that's right, Trot.
Can confirm 3's right, at least.

[Jutsa]

Hey, Trot, Loray had asked a question over in another thread that's now ilocked.
Not entirely sure why it was instead of merged with this 'un, but regardless, it is a good question.

I don't suppose you've got any ideas? I have "must lean towards being secular" in my list,
so I'm thinking it could either be a broken validity, or something completely weird that I didn't take note of.

[Trotterdam]

I received this with Bears Armed Mission as the next issue after answering #109 ‘Karate Kids Cause Controversy’ and choosing the first option for that issue, so that's evidently one way of getting this...

That's interesting though. I'll check if that's always the case.

Confirmed, by the way. #1152 is a chain followup to #109 options 1 and 2.

Hey, Trot, Loray had asked a question over in another thread that's now ilocked.

Nono, u didn't lock it!

It's not something I can figure out on my end, though. #39 3 very probably has the same effect line as one of the other options (#39 2, if your guess is correct), meaning that my program can't tell them apart. As such, my guess is as good as yours. I did a rather comprehensive test and the only thing I can conclude is that the entire issue is probably unavailable to nations with State Press (remember, my data on issue validities is less reliable than that on option validities, but this one makes sense).

I can at least confirm that none of the effect lines are restricted by the presence of absence of the Atheism policy, but as it's known that the cutoff for the Atheism policy is different from the one the editors tend to use for option validities, that doesn't say much.

Worth noting is that I can also find no evidence of the No Marriage or Permanent Marriage policy mattering, even though option 4 mentions a "divorce". I'm not sure if this is an actual clue or an oversight by the editors, though.

The No Adultery policy also doesn't seem to matter, for what it's worth.

[Jutsa]

... huh

[The Candy Of Bottles]

Too Much Too Young - 1168

The Issue
The International Humanitarian Aid Coordination Committee (IHACC) has recently produced an eight-hundred page document examining causes of political instability, terrorist radicalisation, and wealth inequalities. The overall conclusion is that an absence of easily available contraception in the poorest nations in the world may be a key underlying factor to many global ills.

The Debate
0.) “Geostatistical analysis and extrapolation has established within a quasi-estimated p-value that is likely to be less than 0.05 that the burden of children during teenage years results in disparities in gender power gaps, deficits in democratic engagement and exacerbation of cycles of poverty,” spiels IHACC Directorate Investigator Sean de Groot, without pausing for breath. “Under reference of six separate resolutions relating to equality and advancement of civil rights, referenced in Appendices VII.4 to VII.5, you must now contribute to worldwide family planning services, to the sum of 650 million Urists. Do you want to pay by cash or card?”

Accept

1.) “Don’t see why it’s a a Rainbow Pony problem to pay for condoms in poverty-stricken hellholes,” complains Treasury Minister Alfred Larkin, proudly pinning a ‘The Candy Of Bottles First’ badge to his lapel. “Give me a day or two, and I’ll have our International Treaties department draw up some legal objections that will defer the payments ad infinitum. Then, we’ll be able to spare our taxpayers the burden of forking out for the sexual promiscuity of foreign nations.”

Accept

3.) “Give me one moment of your time,” interjects surprisingly polite Tasmanian militia boss Whit Houston, climbing in through your window with an assault rifle in hand. “I believe that children are our future. We teach them well, and let them show the way, as minefield scouts and pre-teen soldiers. If contraceptives are brought in, we’ll be losing real manpower. Or boypower. Why not work with me to supply arms to the Tasmanian Freedom Army? I just wanna trade with somebody. Hey!” He yells in surprise as your bodyguard bursts into the room and drags him out.

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The January Sales of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Trotterdam]

I got suspicious about #1161 not being reported yet, so I took a look and it looks like a followup to #657 3.

[Bears Armed]

And the 'effect' line for option 2 is "the standard police uniform now comes with several colours of belt".

Yeah yeah, I figured that out ages ago.

Okay. Do you have the effect line for option 1 yet?

That's interesting though. I'll check if that's always the case.

Confirmed, by the way. #1152 is a chain followup to #109 options 1 and 2.

Might it also chain from issue 20, option 3, as that also promotes the martial arts? This was mentioned as a possibility during drafting...

[Trotterdam]

Okay. Do you have the effect line for option 1 yet?

Yes.

Confirmed, by the way. #1152 is a chain followup to #109 options 1 and 2.

Might it also chain from issue 20, option 3, as that also promotes the martial arts? This was mentioned as a possibility during drafting...

I kept tracking for a while and didn't spot it. It could be that it's possible and just very rare, but #20 3 seems to be a fairly commonly-chosen option, so I doubt it.

If you do test it by choosing #20 3 on some nation and it turns out to give #1152, let me know.

[Bears Armed]

Okay. Do you have the effect line for option 1 yet?

Yes.

Thank You.

Might it also chain from issue 20, option 3, as that also promotes the martial arts? This was mentioned as a possibility during drafting...

I kept tracking for a while and didn't spot it. It could be that it's possible and just very rare, but #20 3 seems to be a fairly commonly-chosen option, so I doubt it.

If you do test it by choosing #20 3 on some nation and it turns out to give #1152, let me know.

Will do.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I'd note that historically there was a preference stated by Editors that effect lines don't get included in these spoilers. I forget the rationale, something to do with maintaining some element of the unexpected, but this was something in place from before I started.

Anyway, this thread has long been established as not providing effect line spoilers.

Whether you want to keep it that way is up to the player maintaining the thread (so, Jutsa), but I personally think it's best to keep effect lines out of the spoilers, as that way we still have a good resource here for writers to check against for overlap, but there's no ruining of punchlines.

[Trotterdam]

I do track effect lines, though. I guess it might be slightly more appropiate to post them in my thread than this one, but I'll see them either way, and it doesn't do much harm especially if it's just an aside at the end of a more topical post. I've sometimes discussed effect lines here when I've found them particularly worthy of note.

[Jutsa]

Added! Now to be on the lookout for option 3...
and, I'm wondering which names are fixed vs. random, if anyone could confirm.

Many thanks for the report, Candy Bottles.

edit: Updated my list of missing options/issues, still gotta find 1167 though I know what that is,
and still gotta update NSI of all those other found options. Updating the list of nations with Tasmania now.

[Volaworand]

#1166

Acres Wild

The Issue

Upon the planned completion of their vacation estate in northern @@NAME@@, a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ billionaire has additionally, and unexpectedly, purchased the vast bulk of a large forest adjacent to their property for the sole purpose of stocking and hunting @@ANIMAL@@.

The Debate

1. “Nobody should have a right to that much land!” shouts Tabitha Le Carré, the mayor of @@ANIMAL@@ Grove. “That forest has sustained this town for years! Tradespeople responsibly take lumber, families near and far hike the trails, and there’s a thriving birdwatching industry. All these people depend on the land and this charlatan just suddenly squats on it! What a waste. Not only should this particular forest be returned to us, Bears Armed needs to conduct a thorough review of these land holdings and reverse this practice of theft once and for all.”

2. “What poppycock! I have grand plans for this forest!” exclaims the shocked billionaire who can be seen wearing a wide-brimmed sunhat. “I’m planning on fashioning my own private hunting forest. There are some remarkably rare animals here that would look simply lovely on my wall. That said, while I may be inclined to hunt, our country’s finer citizens might wish to augment their holdings instead. Only the wealthiest have the presence of mind to academically appreciate the gifts of Mother Nature. If you encourage them to commit to further woodland area purchases, @@NAME@@ will surely see a diversity of forest management techniques.”

3. “What incredible selfishness!” protests Birgitta Savage, a conservationist. “Who do these people think they are? It’s neither the town nor the rich snob’s forest! Nobody should own it! Both groups have visions of exploitation borne out of their own self-centeredness. The government must protect all public land from these hearts of greed and from those monsters who would use that land to hunt innocent animals for sport.”

Issue by The First Thalmor Reign of Altmer Dominion
Edited by Nation of Quebec

Just got this issue and I can confirm the highlighted names are random, mine were: Homer Rice in option 1, and Michelle Young in option 3

[Volaworand]

Too Much Too Young - 1168

The Issue
The International Humanitarian Aid Coordination Committee (IHACC) has recently produced an eight-hundred page document examining causes of political instability, terrorist radicalisation, and wealth inequalities. The overall conclusion is that an absence of easily available contraception in the poorest nations in the world may be a key underlying factor to many global ills.

The Debate
0.) “Geostatistical analysis and extrapolation has established within a quasi-estimated p-value that is likely to be less than 0.05 that the burden of children during teenage years results in disparities in gender power gaps, deficits in democratic engagement and exacerbation of cycles of poverty,” spiels IHACC Directorate Investigator Sean de Groot, without pausing for breath. “Under reference of six separate resolutions relating to equality and advancement of civil rights, referenced in Appendices VII.4 to VII.5, you must now contribute to worldwide family planning services, to the sum of 650 million Urists. Do you want to pay by cash or card?”

Accept

1.) “Don’t see why it’s a a Rainbow Pony problem to pay for condoms in poverty-stricken hellholes,” complains Treasury Minister Alfred Larkin, proudly pinning a ‘The Candy Of Bottles First’ badge to his lapel. “Give me a day or two, and I’ll have our International Treaties department draw up some legal objections that will defer the payments ad infinitum. Then, we’ll be able to spare our taxpayers the burden of forking out for the sexual promiscuity of foreign nations.”

Accept

3.) “Give me one moment of your time,” interjects surprisingly polite Tasmanian militia boss Whit Houston, climbing in through your window with an assault rifle in hand. “I believe that children are our future. We teach them well, and let them show the way, as minefield scouts and pre-teen soldiers. If contraceptives are brought in, we’ll be losing real manpower. Or boypower. Why not work with me to supply arms to the Tasmanian Freedom Army? I just wanna trade with somebody. Hey!” He yells in surprise as your bodyguard bursts into the room and drags him out.

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The January Sales of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by Nation of Quebec

Just got this issue: The names in the first two are defintely randomized, but Whit Houston in the final option was the same on mine... I assume as a cute riff on Whiney Huston :-)

[Jutsa]

Thanks, Volaw~

[Furry Things]

Match Made in Heaven?

The Issue
Beautiful, blonde, and bisexual, the 25-year-old tennis player Ryan Pournikova is perhaps better known for his modelling work and stunning smile than for the speed of his serves. In a recent TV interview, he was asked who his ideal lover would be. To your surprise, he named you, Zzyzx Wolfe.

The Debate

1. “Publicity seeking pervert!” yells TV evangelist Dickens Manhole. “Uh... Ryan, that is, not you, dear leader! Righteousness compels you to denounce him, to denounce his sinful promiscuity, his bisexual deviance, and his depraved sexual past!”
   
2. “If you’re game for a match, you could be set for a serious popularity boost,” suggests Al Foster, the grinning chat show host who conducted the now notorious interview. “Doesn’t matter if he’s your preferred type, or what your availability is, or even what your gender preference is - the name of the game here is playing to the crowd. Let’s do a televised one-on-one with some spin and we’ll make you both look smashing!”
   
3. “Oh he is my favourite! I’d love to show him MY Gran Willy,” says Bill, your lewd elderly uncle, wiping the steam from his spectacle lenses. “Sure, he’s just courting publicity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take the break. Give him a front page picture with you at a movie premiere, and in return he can make a racket with you down the line. Hey, it’s the world’s oldest profession!”
   
4. “This exhibition is distracting from serious politics,” complains Jake Sosa, your grey-suited Minister of Revenues. “Just laugh off the whole thing as a joke, and use the camera time to talk about important issues, like your proposition to reallocate roles from the Working Tax Auditors to the Association of Tax Pre-assessment. After all, things like insurance breaks, junior exempts and pre-qualifiers are what interests the population, not yawn-worthy old tennis.”
   
5. “Okay, so the media, the public and everyone else is labelling him a publicity-hound and saying this is all about exposure,” observes gossip columnist Natalia Bowie from Not Bad Magazine, “but don’t you want to consider the possibility that he’s for real? Why not take him seriously, and woo him sincerely? You never know, this might be the start of something really beautiful!”

Issue by The January Sales of Candlewhisper Archive
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive