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NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.

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Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4723
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:14 am

Woohoo! 1162! That's... wow we've had a lot of new issues. o_o
Glad to see another MI authorship and Gnejs edit! This was, indeed, a neat issue. :D
And a... very dirty issue. :rofl:
I'd like to point out that Willy Joel is... not definitely fixed. But that's... quite the name to have randomly generated, and "the relieved Willy"... :rofl:
Mind if I please have a confirmation of name randomness vs. fixedness for this one? This is one of those instances where I really have no idea. :blush:
Bongani Yossef... yeah, same thing here.
Seriously, awesome issue, you guys. :)

Chads United wrote:Also I'm not sure if this is the right place to bring this up, Trotterdam, but the wiki entry for Issue #865 does not specify that option 3 requires that the nation holds democratic elections. Despite how obvious it may seem based on the text of the option, I think it's probably still a good idea to indicate that this is the case. Also not sure that you keep the wiki updated still, but I assumed that you do.

If Trot doesn't(and I think they would), I will; I've got a lot of old option validities and options themselves to add, over there.
I may be lazy when it comes to making issue pages over there, but options? That I'll make an exception for. :P

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Man, now you'll be expecting a payrise. All that time spent negging Jutsa wasted, cheers Sanc.

Fine, I'm giving Jutsa a 2.25% payrise to his Got Issues salary backdated to the start of last year. Hell, I'll even pay for it from my own pocket. Yeesh!

Thank you for your generous contribution to my pay of 0¢. It's much appreciated, but it's the thought that really counts. :)
Last edited by Jutsa on Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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The Free Joy State
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 10856
Founded: Jan 05, 2014
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Free Joy State » Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:27 am

Jutsa wrote:Woohoo! 1162! That's... wow we've had a lot of new issues. o_o
Glad to see another MI authorship and Gnejs edit! This was, indeed, a neat issue. :D
And a... very dirty issue. :rofl:
I'd like to point out that Willy Joel is... not definitely fixed. But that's... quite the name to have randomly generated, and "the relieved Willy"... :rofl:
Mind if I please have a confirmation of name randomness vs. fixedness for this one? This is one of those instances where I really have no idea. :blush:

#1162 "She's Always a Woman To Me". Macros:

Willy Joel is fixed (it's a reference to "Billy Joel" who had a song called... She's Always a Woman)

The last option is @@RANDOMNAME@@.
Last edited by The Free Joy State on Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

My nation does not represent my beliefs or politics.

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Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4723
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:06 am

Oh snap, it is a Billy Joel reference! :rofl:

Thanks, Joy. :)
Last edited by Jutsa on Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8293
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:21 am

Chads United wrote:Also not sure that you keep the wiki updated still, but I assumed that you do.
I do not and never have. NSindex is Minoa's project, and while, as as a wiki, other people contribute to it, I am not one of them. (I assume that's the wiki you're talking about.)

I can confirm that #865 option 3 is available only to democracies. Jutsa's list already recognizes this.

If you want to put this on NSindex, either make an account on that site yourself (that's the point of a wiki!) or talk to someone who already has one. I do not care.

Trotterdam wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:I'm going to set some checks for #1136 to see if I can find anything out.
Update: #1136 might be a followup to #214 1.
By the way, more evidence of this has rolled in, so I'm pretty sure of it now. Except that I typoed #1136 as #1135. Fixed now.

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Minoa
Senator
 
Posts: 4600
Founded: Oct 05, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minoa » Fri Feb 01, 2019 11:24 am

Chads United wrote:Also I'm not sure if this is the right place to bring this up, Trotterdam, but the wiki entry for Issue #865 does not specify that option 3 requires that the nation holds democratic elections. Despite how obvious it may seem based on the text of the option, I think it's probably still a good idea to indicate that this is the case. Also not sure that you keep the wiki updated still, but I assumed that you do.

I updated it, although health-wise, I have seen better days.
Mme A. d'Oiseau, B.A. (State of Minoa)

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Australian rePublic
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 18691
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Feb 01, 2019 3:35 pm

Whay are 915/916 red?
Disclaimer: In-Character posts are NOT a reflection of the real world Australian government, any government departments, or any Australian states or territories. I have no authority over real world government decisions. This nation does not reflect my views, as I am trying to unlock banners
As a centrist, I have been called both an extreme leftist and an extreme right-winger.
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ancestry. Orthodox Christian.
Why stylised as "rePublic"
17 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution
Issue Ideas You Can Steal

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Australian rePublic
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 18691
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Australian rePublic » Fri Feb 01, 2019 3:39 pm

What happens when this thread reaches 500? Do we lock and start again, or are there exceptions for these kinds of threads. In either case 1062- shouldn't the minister be @@RANDOMMALENAME@@?
Disclaimer: In-Character posts are NOT a reflection of the real world Australian government, any government departments, or any Australian states or territories. I have no authority over real world government decisions. This nation does not reflect my views, as I am trying to unlock banners
As a centrist, I have been called both an extreme leftist and an extreme right-winger.
From Sydney, NSW. From Greek ancestry. Orthodox Christian.
Why stylised as "rePublic"
17 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution
Issue Ideas You Can Steal

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Phydios
Minister
 
Posts: 2258
Founded: Dec 06, 2014
New York Times Democracy

Postby Phydios » Fri Feb 01, 2019 3:53 pm

Australian rePublic wrote:What happens when this thread reaches 500? Do we lock and start again, or are there exceptions for these kinds of threads. In either case 1062- shouldn't the minister be @@RANDOMMALENAME@@?

The 500-page limit, if I remember correctly, is due to the fact that large threads are very hard on the servers. That fact can't really be waived. So my guess is that a new thread would be made, and the list of issues would be copied into the beginning.

However, this thread has been around for almost ten years, and it's not yet halfway to 500. So I don't think the mods are very concerned right now.
Romans 1:18-2:29, Ephesians 2:1-10
But God’s angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! | Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. | It’s a wonder God didn’t lose His temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, He embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on His own, with no help from us!

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8293
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Fri Feb 01, 2019 4:06 pm

The mods could also split the discussion into a separate thread and lock it, while leaving the main spoiler list in the same thread.

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Valentine Z
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7165
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Valentine Z » Fri Feb 01, 2019 7:01 pm

#1163: Some Assembly Required

The Issue: After an ill-advised demonstration during a floor speech on chemical safety standards, the national legislative building is in need of extensive renovations. Leading architects, lawmakers and political scientists have arranged a meeting with you to discuss designs for the new assembly chamber.

Choice 0: “We should look to the Parliament of Brancaland for inspiration,” pants opposition leader Jamil Smiley, taking a break from shouting into his phone. “Two sets of benches: one for my Opposition and allies, the other for the current Government and their accomplices. From just over two sword lengths apart within the Clerkship’s square should we look our enemies — ahem — colleagues in the eye and have a straightforward debate about the issues facing Valentine Z. Besides, I like right angles. If only my colleagues on the other side shared the same appreciation...”

Choice 1: “The Brancalandian legislature is infamous for running into gridlock,” warns senior legislator Natalia Bell. “I surmise that a traditional semicircle would be best. Tried and true by many classical governments throughout the ages, it shall add an air of gravitas to all proceedings. With an emphasis on non-fixed seating placing parliament members of different backgrounds next to one another, you’ll find the opposition less concerned with putting up a visible fight and better focused on finding ways to get the actual work of governing done.”

Choice 2: “There’s no time for half-measures!” declares wide-eyed celebrity architect Warwick Gutenberg, laying out a rather large floor plan on your desk. “I have plans to install a grand circular skylight above the assembly while expanding the visitor gallery to three full floors. Underneath it all, there’d be no seats, only an unbridled tide of legislators flowing over concentric circles of colour. What better way to illustrate the complexity and beauty of politics unbound?”

Choice 3: “What a waste of taxpayer money,” grumbles your mustachioed adviser Don Duckson, whittling down a block of wood. “Don’t humor these petulant children; just have podiums at the front for the leadership with rows of solid oak desks for everyone else. It’s simple and efficient. I don’t see what else we have to discuss here.”

Issue by Austral Coast; Edited by Altmer Dominion
For You ♡( ◡‿◡ ) A Wonderful World

My own Discord now? Yes.

Valentine’s Guide and Etiquette in Forum 7!

Clarissa mistaken for Smurf/Avatar: 10
Valentijn called She: 37
Genderbent = Sexually Confused: 2

If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ Q & A Here! | Heights of NS! Add yours now! ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥
• Eat my freaking tranquility. - Zenyatta
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

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Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4723
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Fri Feb 01, 2019 7:19 pm

Another fun issue. Nice to see a second authorship by Austral Coast and edit by Altmer Dominion. :D

Many thanks, Valentine! Altmer confirmed name random/fixedness for me. :)
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8293
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Fri Feb 01, 2019 10:40 pm

...May I ask which option you picked, Valentine Z?

Both the second and third options mention circles in some form...

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Valentine Z
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7165
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Valentine Z » Sat Feb 02, 2019 1:07 am

I chose the third option!

I think it increased the inclusiveness a little, and might have lowered politic apathy.
For You ♡( ◡‿◡ ) A Wonderful World

My own Discord now? Yes.

Valentine’s Guide and Etiquette in Forum 7!

Clarissa mistaken for Smurf/Avatar: 10
Valentijn called She: 37
Genderbent = Sexually Confused: 2

If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ Q & A Here! | Heights of NS! Add yours now! ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥
• Eat my freaking tranquility. - Zenyatta
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

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Rizarity
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Jul 16, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Rizarity » Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:09 am

190.2

“Foreigners are a major cause of civil disturbances,” begins Emile Mombota, whose opinions form the book ‘101 Arguments FOR Slavery’. “What we should do is make all immigrants, foreigners, and non-native Rizarity folks slaves! I mean, who in Rizarity wouldn’t like a minority slave group to do his bidding? Imagine! People could be bought and sold with your daily groceries!”

This nation only has a no computers policy (rather than no internet). For info.

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Apabeossie
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 159
Founded: Jun 04, 2018
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Apabeossie » Sat Feb 02, 2019 5:55 pm

Hey, I received #1159 and it looks like this,

The Sad State of Affairs(by Jutsa, ed. Baggieland)


The Issue
Some @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ are circumventing the ban on adultery by marrying anyone they’d like an affair with. Once the excitement of the relationship is over, the lovers will often then have nothing further to do with each other.

The Debate
1. “These morally deficient sex addicts are making a mockery of the sanctity of marriage,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, hand-in-hand with his two wives. “A marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond of trust between two, or more, people for life. You should make these legal adulterers pay by having them live with their partners until the day they die – no divorce, no separation, nothing! If they don’t comply, they should be charged with adultery and receive the full punishment!”

“This was bound to happen,” cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a leading monogamy advocate and author of the controversial book I Do, Not We Do. “Having multiple spouses is just cheating on your one true love. Make everyone choose one spouse, and only one spouse. That’s the way to true peace and marital harmony.”

“Consent is the word to remember,” blurts out @@RANDOMNAME@@, your cousin’s first and least favourite spouse. “You know why? Because if someone feels the need for a bit — ahem — extra, they should have the full consent from every spouse involved. Legally documented and informed consent will put to bed the troublesome issue of illegal extramarital affairs.”

Note:Since I received the issue, I don't know about the validity of the issue or the actual coding. Sorry about that.
Hi, I'm Apabeossie! Nice to meet you!
Joined NS: June 4th, 2018
Currently up to: Raising the disposable income, writing a factbook(slow), drafting an issue, creating a soccer league, waiting for Z-day (when's it coming ;-; I missed the last one)
Favorite Forums: Got Issues, Forum 7
Region: Europe
Other: I don't know what else to say.
Have a good day!

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Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4723
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Sat Feb 02, 2019 6:45 pm

Rewhew! Many thanks, Apabeossie! :D

This report was just fine! Thank you! Indeed, there actually is a fourth option — a variant to option 1 for nations where divorce is illegal.
Is it niche? Heck yeah, so good luck finding it. :lol:

Also, uh, quick question: Is this issue "adult"? :?
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Sanctaria
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 7413
Founded: Sep 12, 2008
New York Times Democracy

Postby Sanctaria » Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:02 pm

Yes.
Divine Federation of Sanctaria

Ideological Bulwark #258
Member of UNOG

Dr. Katherine Saunders ORD DSJ, Sanctarian Ambassador to the World Assembly
Author of:
GA#109 GA#133 GA#176 GA#201 GA#222 GA#297
Frisbeeteria wrote:Do people not realize that moderators can tell when someone is wanking?

Luna Amore wrote:Sanc is always watching. Ever vigilant.

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Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4723
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Sat Feb 02, 2019 7:30 pm

Mmk, kinda assumed that. No changes necessary to NSI then. :rofl:
(wanted to be sure though. Thank you, Sanct. :))
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

User avatar
Minoa
Senator
 
Posts: 4600
Founded: Oct 05, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minoa » Sun Feb 03, 2019 5:03 am

Trotterdam wrote:The mods could also split the discussion into a separate thread and lock it, while leaving the main spoiler list in the same thread.

I think that when we reach 500 pages, this thread could be archived, and two new threads could be created: one for the list and another for discussion. I feel that the posts cannot be removed as it could be very crucial in documenting the history of the issues system. Given how long NationStates has lasted, archiving is being taken more seriously by me and others.
Mme A. d'Oiseau, B.A. (State of Minoa)

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8293
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:31 am

#1164 What a Gneiss Place We've Got Here

The Issue

A vast and seemingly endless new cave system has just been discovered in a remote section of Violetstone National Park! Despite not even having a name yet, petitioners are crowding your office telling you what to do with it.

The Debate

1. "I'm ready. Let's do this!" shouts renowned adrenaline junkie, Weevil Knievel, waving a headlamp at you. "I am going to be the first person to ever explore this cave. It would be yet another feather in the cap of my already stellar career! Yes, I know it's a nine day off-road trek into sensitive ecosystems. Yes, I know it will be fraught with danger and intrigue. That's the whole point! Give me the green light... and, while you're at it, a camera crew."

2. "You can't be serious?" chastises @@RANDOMNAME@@, the head of the advocacy group 'No Safety, Know Pain'. "Who knows what kind of beasts and perils might be lurking in there? Imagine this @@LEADER@@: a good, wholesome @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ family, out having a picnic in the splendor of Violetstone National Park. Suddenly, a rare horn-billed @@ANIMAL@@ skitters by, distracting the parents. Their young son wanders off, gets lost in this deathtrap of a cave and dies! Do you want that hypothetical boy's blood on your conscience? You must protect your citizens and seal this cave for our safety."

3. "Whoop-dee-doo, there's a new cave! Get over it," snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of Violetstone's junior rangers. "You know what else is still there? Any number of trees, flowers, bunnies — you name it — all happily undisturbed by human activities. I say we keep it that way with a boost to the park budget. With more money, we can crack down on anyone who tries to illegally enter prohibited areas."

Issue by Chan Island
Edited by Luna Amore
First speaker's name is nonrandom.

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Volaworand
Attaché
 
Posts: 94
Founded: Oct 15, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Volaworand » Sun Feb 03, 2019 1:21 pm

Trotterdam wrote:#1164 What a Gneiss Place We've Got Here
-snip-
First speaker's name is nonrandom.


Weevil Knievel would be a pun on the popular stunt driver Evil Kinevil.
Last edited by Volaworand on Sun Feb 03, 2019 1:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The Dominion of Volaworand, Democratic Constitutional Monarchy | Independent former British Antarctic Territory | The South Pacific
Kentucky Fried Penguin Franchise's Available

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Volaworand
Attaché
 
Posts: 94
Founded: Oct 15, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Volaworand » Sun Feb 03, 2019 1:39 pm

I just changed all my pre-titles this morning, and guess what pops up this afternoon? My second egg issue today. If anyone's hunting this issue I got it after removing all e's from every customizable field.

Issue 1122 Easter Egg: Just Say No to E

The Issue

Today got off to a poor start. You had a plan to grab lunch with Rothora’s mayor, Anton Gadsby, to talk about important topics such as urban growth. But to your horror and shock, this man was tripping on XTC this morning, and by noon nobody could find him!

The Debate

  1. “A tragic loss that shouldn’t occur in this fair city,” mourns doctor Cathy Gratwick, filing through Gadsby’s clinical history. “Politicians dosing too highly on drugs such as MDMA is not only a way to bring about a fatality, but also distracts you folks from your important work! As a policy wonk without flaws, you must stand up to this display by disavowing any kind of drugs.”
  2. “I think you should know that my pop would focus on our town most of all,” sobs Gadsby’s son, Barry. “Don’t think about him so much as what you could do to honor him: continuing to build and maintain a thriving city. That is what brought about a proud spirit in Dad.”
  3. “Oh, look, focusing on Rothora again,” groans Patrick Picard, mayor of a tiny rural municipality. “Big woop. This big shot had it coming. Stop crying about him and start funding, in contrast, stuff that’s actually important. Such as, I don’t know, transportation to backwoods burgs.”
  4. “You must call for a manhunt!” barks cop Harold Callahan, flashing a shiny star at you. “Our boss is too important an individual for us to abandon to who-knows-what shady mishap. But don’t worry, our policing can do this job. Or, as a backup plan, find his body anyway.”


I selected option 2: and the egg count updated on both egg issue descriptors. (11 hours earlier I broke the fourth wall, and the message in my activity stream updated the egg count of 6 to 7 in that earlier description.)

20 minutes ago: Following new legislation in Volaworand, in Rothora subways and skyways roar at all hours (Volaworand has found 7 easter eggs).
11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Volaworand, several universities in Volaworand have assembled expensive research teams to explore and study new lands and old ruins (Volaworand has found 7 easter eggs).


and giving me the deliciously awkward situation of having 2 easter egg finds in my nation's summary paragraph.

Election results are often delayed for weeks to count the expat votes, several universities in Volaworand have assembled expensive research teams to explore and study new lands and old ruins (Volaworand has found 7 easter eggs), the use of martial arts is banned, and in Rothora subways and skyways roar at all hours (Volaworand has found 7 easter eggs). Crime is totally unknown. Volaworand's national animal is the Plump Aquatic Bird in Formal Tux, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Soupism.
Last edited by Volaworand on Sun Feb 03, 2019 2:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The Dominion of Volaworand, Democratic Constitutional Monarchy | Independent former British Antarctic Territory | The South Pacific
Kentucky Fried Penguin Franchise's Available

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Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4723
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Sun Feb 03, 2019 3:25 pm

How Gnejs.

:)

Love the issue, Chan and Luna—Luna? OMG a Luna edit! :D Nice to see you're name here, again!
Nice to see this nearly-11-month-old draft make it into the game. It's a funny one; particularly liked option 2. :lol:
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8293
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sun Feb 03, 2019 8:58 pm

#1124 Signing Off, Your God

The Issue

Only a week before the anniversary of the day you took office, one of the holiest days of the year for the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, several impudent blasphemers have demanded that you show the people a sign of your divinity or else they will not attend the day's services and festivities.

The Debate

1. "We know you're not a god, but we have to keep the people thinking that you are one," asserts your Minister of Greasing the Wheels, attempting to hide a bag of silver. "Invite the blasphemers over to your office and pay each of them to say that you personally gave them a sign, and they now believe in you. This way, you can keep everyone under the illusion that you are divine without trying to devise some complicated trick. A few @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ go a long way, Great One."

2. "Oh Almighty @@LEADER@@, punish these fools!" shouts the bearded founder of the Cult of Nationalist Divinity, who is also your Minister of Dogma, as the holy guards seize the previous speaker for blasphemy. "I would advise Your Holiness to end their disgusting lives with the fire of your divine wrath. Unworthy as I am, I suggest that you demonstrate your infinite power in the form of your acolytes using Holy Hand Grenades to blow your enemies to tiny bits, in your mercy. That will undoubtedly be a sufficient sign for all those who dare question your divinity!"

3. "It is not our place to tell the Ever-Magnificent what sign to perform!" comes the muffled voice of a believer prostrate on the floor. "The Supreme @@LEADER@@ can and surely will reveal to the unbelievers thy sacred truth in the way most appropriate according to thine most omniscient judgement. There is no need for smoke and mirrors when thou art truly an omnipotent god, certainly. Oh @@LEADER@@, the world will gasp in awe at thy divine majesty, if it is your will!"

4. "If I may, Most Gracious @@LEADER@@, it seems to me that a sign would defeat the purpose," states a progressive young cultist. "Those who only believe in your divinity because of a sign do not have true faith in your sublime providence; they only fear your divine justice. Perhaps, in your mercy, you might allow freedom of religion and choose not to display your power, so that the people can have the chance to experience other faiths and realize how shallow they are. They will know how glorious and merciful of a deity you are. If they still don't believe in you after your show of magnanimity, well, then you would have separated the wheat from the chaff and the faith will be purer for it."

Issue by Fauxia
Edited by The Marsupial Illuminati
Props for getting the grammar in option 3 right. (Mostly, but any nitpicks would be pretty minor.)
Last edited by Trotterdam on Sun Feb 03, 2019 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Kylarnatia
N&I RP Mentor
 
Posts: 8416
Founded: Jul 07, 2008
Left-Leaning College State

#1165: Crosswords Beget Angry Letters

Postby Kylarnatia » Mon Feb 04, 2019 12:07 am

#1165: Crosswords Beget Angry Letters [Lislandia; ed: Nation of Quebec]

The Issue

A major national newspaper is taking heat after one of its crossword puzzles contained the answer ‘BIGWIGS’, which is considered a racial slur by Bigtopians. This is not the first time the paper has come under fire for its puzzling word choices, and concerned citizens are squaring off outside your door in hopes of filling in the blanks for you.

The Debate

Choice 0: “Get a clue, @@LEADER@@!” shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Civil Liberties Alliance, as @@HE@@ snaps one of your pencils in half. “It is well known throughout @@REGION@@ that the B-word is a degrading term referring to members of our nation’s Bigtopian community. There is only one solution: demand that the paper fire those who permitted this puzzle to go to print. That should send a warning to everyone that such disrespect and callousness will never be tolerated!”

Choice 1: “What’s a five-letter word that means ‘iciness’?” inquires Bill Pantz, crossword editor for the newspaper in question, glancing up from a recent puzzle submission he is proofreading. “Oh, that’s right, ‘CHILL!’ Look, the word ‘bigwigs’ simply refers to elitist fat cats, as was clued in the puzzle. On rare occasions, perfectly legitimate words that have sometimes been used as slurs like ‘porp’, ‘beepus’, or ‘jonky’, are fair use in a puzzle. Apologies to anyone who was offended, but that’s where the matter ends. That’s as black-and-white as it gets.”

Choice 2: “Solving this puzzle requires us to think outside the box,” interjects @@RANDOMNAME@@, chairperson of the Committee on Appropriate Language in Media. “This problem indicates a lack of varied perspectives within the corporate and media worlds. We should look to promote greater diversity in the workplace, which means instituting government-mandated sensitivity training, financial incentives for companies who hire from certain target groups, and increased funding for programs that seek the advancement of underrepresented communities. It will be expensive, but can we really put a price on inclusivity?”

Choice 4: “This wouldn’t even be a problem if we nationalized the media!” exclaims Manny Festaux, your Minister of Orwellian Orthodoxy. “Imagine how much easier it would be to pick and choose the content that was published in the dailies. Not only that, but you won’t have to worry anymore about negative publicity directed at you! Now, shall we replace these pesky crosswords with word searches or sudokus?”


Not 100% about the macros; I only took out the names that were in the first and last name lists of the OP. Are those definitive? If not, I'll hold onto the issue until someone confirms so I can put the names back in. The first name of Choice 1 was "Bill", and the last name of Choice 2 was "Bush".

Also looks like there's a "Choice 3" I clearly don't have access to, how exciting!

EDIT: Got this issue on a puppet and it solved some of the macro confusion for me. You might want to add "Basil" and "Francine" to the @@RANDOMNAME@@ first name list and "Sullivan" to the last name list.
Last edited by Kylarnatia on Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:20 pm, edited 3 times in total.
The Ancient Empire of Kylarnatia // Imperium Antiquum Kylarnatiae
Lord of Gholgoth | Factbook (Work in Progress) | Embassy & Consulate Programme
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