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A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.

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Trotterdam
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7085
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Tue Jan 22, 2019 2:48 pm

#1151 Gotta Go Fast

The Issue

When the Holy Month of Golden Bloom rolls around, members of the Tranquillity of Yellow observe fasting: neither eating nor drinking anything from dawn till dusk. Bob Lawson, your Minister of Labor, has reasoned that fasting leads to a loss of productivity and potentially endangers lives.

The Debate

1. "I mean, it's a no-brainer, isn't it?" asks Bob Lawson, still chewing the big bite he took of his mouth-watering chocolate lava cake. "These people fast for an entire day, and everyone knows that prolonged hunger and dehydration can cause concentration problems. What if a Yellowite surgeon operated on a patient while fasting and made a mistake? Human lives come before religious duties. Hence, all Tranquil Yellowites should be banned from fasting if they want to keep their jobs."

2. "How dare you meddle with my freedom of religion!" gasps Gretel Sandler, a Yellowite preacher, flourishing a staff topped with an ornamental sunflower at the Labor Minister, while casting a yearning glance at his cake. "I have practised fasting since I was a child, and I can assure you that it doesn't compos- compres- I mean compromise our cognitive abilities. Also, daytime fasting isn't actually unhealthy you know - there's growing evidence that it reduces a number of ailments and could even prevent cancers. It would be both spiritually and physically good if you told all @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ to join the Fast of the Holy Month of Golden Bloom."

3. "Let's not be hasty; I'm sure there is room for a sweet compromise here," chimes in Louis Annan, your Minister of Creative Solutions. "I agree that suffering from thirst and hunger for a whole day can cause problems in the workplace. But instead of banning our Yellowite citizens from fulfilling their religious duties, we could give them paid leave during the Holy Month of Golden Bloom, so they could safely fast in the comfort of their homes. To safeguard equality, we can make similar accommodations for all faiths: extra vacations for pilgrimages and regular prayer breaks at work."

4. "This whole fasting thing is sacrilege!" exclaims Papa Luigi, a well-known pizzeria owner and a member of the Cult of Pizza, flailing his arms dramatically. "Only infidels would dare to starve themselves in blatant defiance of the Holy Crustiness of Pizza Margherita. We should prohibit all forms of fasting and endorse a force-feeding procedure for those who restrict their food intake for whatever reason. Pizza for @@NAME@@! Pizzazz for @@NAME@@!"

Issue by Frieden-und Freudenland
Edited by Baggieland
I thought that "Tranquillity" is a misspelling (it's not how it's spelled in previous mentions in the issue canon: #598, #619, #836), but apparently it's a valid alternate spelling that's more common in the UK.

Since option 4 mentions a pizzeria "owner", I suspect a socialist variant, but have not seen it. My trawler has confirmed that the option or a variant can be selected on socialist nations, in any case. (In fact, so far, it has only been seen on a single nation, which was socialist.)

EDIT: Unhighlighted "Luigi", which is clearly nonrandom (having appeared in multiple previous issues about pizza, as well as one about plumbling, though never styled as "Papa Luigi" before).
Last edited by Trotterdam on Tue Jan 22, 2019 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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The Free Joy State
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 6020
Founded: Jan 05, 2014
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Free Joy State » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:26 pm

I confirm #1151 has four options.
Last edited by The Free Joy State on Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

The Writer's Block Possible Issue Error? or Unusual Issue Effects? (check OPs) Current Issues (Spoilers!)

My nation is not representative of my beliefs or politics.

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Gandoor
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8485
Founded: Sep 23, 2008
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Gandoor » Wed Jan 23, 2019 3:11 pm

#1153
Side Effects

The Issue
Cat Pharmaceuticals, a major international drug company based in @@NAME@@, was recently linked to illegal human experimentation and an organ harvesting cult in the underdeveloped, jungle nation of Kawandaland. Its atrocities exposed, the company has gone bottom-up, throwing @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ markets into turmoil, and largely eliminating access to inexpensive medical supplies in Kawandaland.

The Debate
1. “Cat Pharmaceuticals was both dealing diphenhydramine and defiling human rights,” states Lucina Sandler, the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ ambassador to Kawandaland. “While they should have stayed with the former, we cannot allow this to cause a fatal reaction as far as @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@-Kawandalandian relations are concerned. Let’s begin medical aid shipments to their country. While it might not be cheap, such an action may yet preserve our honor in the eyes of these noble people.”

2. “Oh, I’d love to bandage up Kawandaland too, ambassador,” chimes in Sancho Annan, a top-level official in the Finance Ministry. “You do realize that our economy is being wounded by this catastrophe as well, right? I agree that the situation in Kawandaland is a sad one, but we must save ourselves while we still have the chance. Instead of spending millions of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ on medical aid, we should use those funds to stabilize our markets. It might seem cold and heartless, but I’m just following triage procedures, and I believe the bleeding is worse here in @@NAME@@.”

3. “The actions of my former employers are quite repulsive, and have left quite a mess,” admits Alexander Gates, a former representative of Cat Pharmaceuticals. “Do not despair for I have a fast-acting, extra-strength, non-drowsy method to resolve this! If the government could nationalize the pharmaceutical industry, then it’s only a matter of time before the markets rally back and we can eventually shift our interest back towards Kawandaland.”

Issue by The Royal Dominion of Candensia

Edited by Nation of Quebec
Flag is currently Cure Soleil from Star☆Twinkle Precure.
I'm female.
OOC Info
Twitter: @Sailor_Viola
Steam: Princess Viola
TGs are welcome

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Candensia
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 450
Founded: Apr 20, 2017
Mother Knows Best State

Postby Candensia » Wed Jan 23, 2019 3:36 pm

I’d like to thank NOQ for the stellar edit. :)
The Free Joy State wrote:Time spent working on writing skills -- even if the draft doesn't work -- is never wasted.

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Valentine Z
Senator
 
Posts: 3955
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Valentine Z » Thu Jan 24, 2019 12:56 am

The Free Joy State wrote:I confirm #1151 has four options.


I'm not sure if this will be useful information, but for that issue, I have no Option 4.

4. "This whole fasting thing is sacrilege!" exclaims Papa Luigi, a well-known pizzeria owner and a member of the Cult of Pizza, flailing his arms dramatically. "Only infidels would dare to starve themselves in blatant defiance of the Holy Crustiness of Pizza Margherita. We should prohibit all forms of fasting and endorse a force-feeding procedure for those who restrict their food intake for whatever reason. Pizza for @@NAME@@! Pizzazz for @@NAME@@!"


So, validity seems to be on an existent Pizza Industry? I have none. :P
If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Sierlijke und Verwonderlijk Feline Utopia et its Heerlijk Autonomous Opperheerschappij ov Valentine Z !
>>> >>> >>> Q & A Here! <<< <<< <<<
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Silver Commonwealth is the long-lost, evil, and short brother of Valentine Z!
• Eat my freaking tranquility. - Zenyatta
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

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The Candy Of Bottles
Diplomat
 
Posts: 534
Founded: Jan 01, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Candy Of Bottles » Thu Jan 24, 2019 12:40 pm

Foreign Tax Credits Leave Film Industry Reeling - 1154

The Issue
More and more a Rainbow Pony film studios are turning to Brancaland due to the generous tax credits of the picturesque coastal city Maxhoover. Industry representatives and local patriots alike have prompted calls for action.

The Debate
0.) “CUT!” shouts controversial film director Elizabeth Holt, known for her unapologetic patriotism and xenophobia, who is coincidentally filming a scene in your office. “King Sakub Anangåkïz, if I may be frank, why don’t we punish these unpatriotic hacks? They show a complete lack of respect for our culture and take jobs away from hardworking citizens. Can’t you put these people on some sort of watchlist and create some sort of committee to assess their loyalty to The Candy Of Bottles?”

Accept

1.) “What is it about these debates that always attracts crazy extremists?” sighs Jiang Peña, the mayor of a lakefront city in The Candy Of Bottles. “As much as I’d love for my city to be the face of the film industry, how can we blame these studios for going over to Brancaland? They offer generous tax credits, their people are friendly, and their environment is ranked as one of the best in the world. What we should be doing is offering tax credits of our own to encourage film crews to shoot movies and shows right here at home. Oh, and would it kill you to help us clean up the city? The streets and parks are littered with trash!”

Accept

2.) “There’s no need to get your unmentionables in a twist aboot this,” suggests eccentric Brancalandian talent agent Mike Shatner with long pauses between his words. “I’ll have you know that actors are one of Brancaland’s primary exports. In return we offer tax credits and the best studios that money can buy. Unless you want to risk damaging your country’s relationship with Brancaland and deny your people some quality acting, like the award-winning Spit King Sakub Anangåkïz Says, I suggest you make it easier for studios to choose Brancaland over The Candy Of Bottles. By the way, was that a great impression of you, or what?”

Accept

3.) “I would like to suggest that we advertise The Candy Of Bottles to a classier audience,” remarks snooty independent film director Nosipho Watson while sipping on a glass of Brancalandian Red. “You don’t want the riffraff making The Candy Of Bottles look like a bunch of uncultured hicks with explosions and gore-fests, do you? With generous investments in the industry, we can attract the right audiences and weed out the boorish undesirables. You could even host yearly film festivals in Saràmkadôl to encourage more people to film in our exquisite city!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec

Edited by Nation of Quebec
Nation May also be called Ebsas Shomad.
WA Delegate: Tislam Timnärstëlmith (Tislam Taperedtresses)
Operates on EST/EDT
1.) Ignore them, they want attention. Giving it to them will only encourage them.
2.) Keep a backup region or two handy, with a password in place, in case you are raided. You can move there if needed.

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Nation Tracker
Secretary
 
Posts: 30
Founded: Sep 05, 2006
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Nation Tracker » Thu Jan 24, 2019 6:57 pm

Replace "Cat" in 1153 with @@ANIMAL@@ :)

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Stalin Lands
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Nov 28, 2016
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Stalin Lands » Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:38 pm

Jutsa wrote:#1097: What Do We Do With a Drunken Sailor? [Caracasus; ed: Baggieland]

The Issue:
The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ navy has always allowed shore leave when docked at ports in the tiny allied nation of Prudenlund. However, after a brawl involving two hundred rowdy sailors in Prudenlund’s quiet city streets made international news, the admiralty has begun exploring ways to repair its image.

1. “This... this is disgraceful!” states red-faced Rear Admiral @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. “These sailors are acting like common hooligans! I say we round them up, court martial the ringleaders and forbid all shore leave for the foreseeable future. Our reputation is at stake here.”

2. “It’s not shore leave that’s the problem here, it’s the devil’s nectar!” notes dour-faced Warrant Officer @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. “Let our sailors have their shore leave, but forbid them from drinking. We’ll just breathalyze them on their way back to the ship. As for any that fail... well, we can always break the old cat o’ nine tails out of the naval history museum.”

3. “A drop of @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@’s blood never done us any harm!” chants Bosun’s Mate @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, swaying slightly from side to side. “Getting hamm... er, drinking on shore leave is a sailor’s right from time immemorial! Those stuck up Prudenlundians wouldn’t know a good time if it smacked them round the head with a bottle! If they’re so opposed to our lot enjoying themselves - then our ships should just avoid their ports and maybe we should stop trading with them too. That’ll learn’em!”

4. “Now... now wait here just a minute...” slurs a queasy cadet who appears to have gatecrashed the meeting. “I’ve been talking to my mates, right... and we don’t wanna be in the navy any more. We might have to kill people and that’s kind of a downer... but on the bright side, we throw the best parties! Say, that’s a thought - let’s get rid of the whole navy nonsense and open up our warships for party cruises!”

--------------------------------------------------------------


Option 2 enacts "Corporal Punishment" policy:

https://screenshotscdn.firefoxusercontent.com/images/dd4e306e-8431-4aac-9038-58fcdb497e65.png

User avatar
Valentine Z
Senator
 
Posts: 3955
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Valentine Z » Fri Jan 25, 2019 12:55 am

Issue 1154: Foreign Tax Credits Leave Film Industry Reeling

The Issue: More and more Valentian film studios are turning to Brancaland due to the generous tax credits of the picturesque coastal city Maxhoover. Industry representatives and local patriots alike have prompted calls for action.

[Option 0] “CUT!” shouts controversial film director Charles Chapman, known for his unapologetic patriotism and xenophobia, who is coincidentally filming a scene in your office. “Anna Star Madeline Thanda Pwint Thin Zar, if I may be frank, why don’t we punish these unpatriotic hacks? They show a complete lack of respect for our culture and take jobs away from hardworking citizens. Can’t you put these people on some sort of watchlist and create some sort of committee to assess their loyalty to Valentine Z?”

[Option 1] “What is it about these debates that always attracts crazy extremists?” sighs Ingrid Jackson, the mayor of a lakefront city in Valentine Z. “As much as I’d love for my city to be the face of the film industry, how can we blame these studios for going over to Brancaland? They offer generous tax credits, their people are friendly, and their environment is ranked as one of the best in the world. What we should be doing is offering tax credits of our own to encourage film crews to shoot movies and shows right here at home. Oh, and would it kill you to help us clean up the city? The streets and parks are littered with trash!”

[Option 2] “There’s no need to get your unmentionables in a twist aboot this,” suggests eccentric Brancalandian talent agent Mike Shatner with long pauses between his words. “I’ll have you know that actors are one of Brancaland’s primary exports. In return we offer tax credits and the best studios that money can buy. Unless you want to risk damaging your country’s relationship with Brancaland and deny your people some quality acting, like the award-winning Spit Anna Star Madeline Thanda Pwint Thin Zar Says, I suggest you make it easier for studios to choose Brancaland over Valentine Z. By the way, was that a great impression of you, or what?”

[Option 3] “I would like to suggest that we advertise Valentine Z to a classier audience,” remarks snooty independent film director Michael Preisner while sipping on a glass of Brancalandian Red. “You don’t want the riffraff making Valentine Z look like a bunch of uncultured hicks with explosions and gore-fests, do you? With generous investments in the industry, we can attract the right audiences and weed out the boorish undesirables. You could even host yearly film festivals in The Gloriously Re-Built Aoutpine Yangon to encourage more people to film in our exquisite city!”

Issue by Nation of Quebec
Edited by Nation of Quebec

Option numbers taken from Ctrl + I. Possible custom fields highlighted.
Last edited by Valentine Z on Fri Jan 25, 2019 1:03 am, edited 2 times in total.
If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Sierlijke und Verwonderlijk Feline Utopia et its Heerlijk Autonomous Opperheerschappij ov Valentine Z !
>>> >>> >>> Q & A Here! <<< <<< <<<
• About me.
• You thought I'm a She. But it is I, a dude!
Silver Commonwealth is the long-lost, evil, and short brother of Valentine Z!
• Eat my freaking tranquility. - Zenyatta
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

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R-I-P Pup 006
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Jun 06, 2015
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby R-I-P Pup 006 » Fri Jan 25, 2019 5:34 am

875.3

“I agree that these threats should be taken more seriously, but becoming a surveillance state isn’t the way to do it,” replies Vera Coin, acne-prone teenager, and veteran of three internet flame wars. “The problem is the government social media division’s utter lack of effective moderation. You should see some of the comments the trolls get away with! Force them to create effective policies to deal with this sort of thing and notify the crime division if anything gets too serious.”

Very minimal difference to 875.2. Also in 875.4, 2Many_Big_Nosed_Bigtopians should be in italics.

User avatar
R-I-P Pup 007
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Jun 06, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby R-I-P Pup 007 » Fri Jan 25, 2019 5:42 am

914.7

“Just bulldoze ‘em all,” wheezes middle-aged construction worker Willie Simpson whilst coughing into a stained handkerchief. “Y’all are talking about repurposing buildings, whilst I see valuable real estate being wasted. Tear ‘em down, nationalize the land, and build whatever the Ministry of Infrastructure wants there.”

There's another missing option off your list :lol:

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Sougra
Envoy
 
Posts: 219
Founded: Mar 20, 2018
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Sougra » Fri Jan 25, 2019 8:32 pm

Issue #1157: Rodney and Julietta

The Issue
The unlikely romance between your nephew Rodney and Princess Julietta, the second daughter of the King of Moltevino, has been the talk of @@REGION@@ for many months. However, it hit a snag when the young couple decided to make a long-term commitment. Moltevino refuses to sanction such a match, as your nephew is not of royal blood.

The Debate

Option 1:
“The King of Moltevino extends his noble hand in friendship,” declares Moltevino’s ambassador Lord Capello between tightly clenched lips, half-bowing. “Our fair kingdom has been enriched by exports of our many grape-based products and would like to share that glory through a favorable trade agreement. The King has one small request in return: lock your threadbare juggler of a nephew away from the Pearl of Moltevino, burn all his mad-headed ravings of love, and keep that rancorous coxcomb confined until he has foresworn all ties that he claims existed between himself and the Princess. Her Radiance isn’t a hedge-born puterelle who should be consorting with commoners! No offence intended.”

Option 2:
“Pathetic little Moltevino is trying to push us around?” scoffs the Minister of Ego-Boosting. “You could spit from one side of their country and hit the other side! Their only notable export is wine. Granted, it’s damn good wine, but we still have Marche Noire. Let good old Princess Jules come and live in @@NAME@@. What are the Moltevinans gonna do? Invade us to get their ‘Pearl’ back? With what — their army of three pensioners, two cowards, and one courageous golden retriever named ‘Cuddles’? I’d like to see them try!

Option 3:
“Fair Moltevino has so much more than wine,” exhorts Chip Pasteur, the Minister of Culture, as he holds up a brochure. “Look at this: meandering river cruises through wine country, historic architecture, Lovers’ Clock in the piazza vecchia. Perhaps an influx of tourist cash might be the tie that binds this lovers’ knot, through a story that shouldn’t be forgot. The young couple could settle in their preferred nation, and in return we would help promote Moltevino as a major tourist destination. Lots of sightseers visiting romantic places can put a smile on even the grumpiest of kings’ faces. For never was a story marketed better, than that of Rodney and his Julietta.”

Option 4:
“Oh, just become a monarch,” shrugs your laziest nephew, Clint, who’s just been fired after one day at his latest in a long line of jobs. “Come on, you waving to the people from balconies, talking about ‘royal unions between two nations, both alike in dignity’... folks’d love it! Then Rodney would be ‘His Royal Highness Rodney of @@NAME@@’ and I’d never have to work again... I mean, and he could be with the Princess. Wouldn’t that be cool?”

Issue by The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State
Edited by Pogaria


<p class="smalltext"><a href="page=dilemmas">&laquo; Back to <i class="icon-male"></i>Issues</a></p>
<div class="dilemmapaper dilemmapapernum0"><div class="dilemmapaperinner"><img src="/images/newspaper/dpaper1.png" class="dpaperslice"><div class="dpaper2"><div class="dpaperprice">1 GRAMLU</div><div class="dpaperflag"><img src="/images/flags/uploads/sougra__588839t1.jpg"></div><p>The Socius Chronicle<br style="clear:both"><div class="dpaper3"><div class="dpaper3a"></div><div class="dpaper3b"></div><div class="dpaper3c"></div><div class="dpaper3d"><div class="dpapervol">VOL. 32 NO. 1,157</div><div class="dpapercityfinal">CITY FINAL</div><div class="dpaperdate">FRIDAY JANUARY 25, 2019</div></div><div class="dpaper3c"></div></div></div><div class="dpaper4"><p><p>Rodney and Julietta</div><div class="dpaper5box"><img src="/images/newspaper/dpaper5.png" class="dpaperslice"><img src="/images/newspaper/l4-1.jpg" class="dpaperpic dpaperpic1"><img src="/images/newspaper/p25-2.jpg" class="dpaperpic dpaperpic2"></div></div></div>
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<div class="dilemma"><h5>The Issue</h5>
<p>The unlikely romance between your nephew Rodney and Princess Julietta, the second daughter of the King of Moltevino, has been the talk of The Dawn of Unity for many months. However, it hit a snag when the young couple decided to make a long-term commitment. Moltevino refuses to sanction such a match, as your nephew is not of royal blood.</p>
<form method="POST" action="/page=show_dilemma/dilemma=1157"><h5>The Debate</h5>
<ol class="diloptions"><li><p>&#8220;The King of Moltevino extends his noble hand in friendship,&#8221; declares Moltevino&#8217;s ambassador Lord Capello between tightly clenched lips, half-bowing. &#8220;Our fair kingdom has been enriched by exports of our many grape-based products and would like to share that glory through a favorable trade agreement. The King has one small request in return: lock your threadbare juggler of a nephew away from the Pearl of Moltevino, burn all his mad-headed ravings of love, and keep that rancorous coxcomb confined until he has foresworn all ties that he claims existed between himself and the Princess. Her Radiance isn&#8217;t a hedge-born puterelle who should be consorting with commoners! No offence intended.&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-0" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;Pathetic little Moltevino is trying to push us around?&#8221; scoffs the Minister of Ego-Boosting. &#8220;You could spit from one side of their country and hit the other side! Their only notable export is wine. Granted, it&#8217;s damn good wine, but we still have Marche Noire. Let good old Princess Jules come and live in Sougra. What are the Moltevinans gonna do? Invade us to get their &#8216;Pearl&#8217; back? With what &#151; their army of three pensioners, two cowards, and one courageous golden retriever named &#8216;Cuddles&#8217;? I&#8217;d like to see them try!&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-1" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;Fair Moltevino has so much more than wine,&#8221; exhorts Chip Pasteur, the Minister of Culture, as he holds up a brochure. &#8220;Look at this: meandering river cruises through wine country, historic architecture, Lovers&#8217; Clock in the <i>piazza vecchia</i>. Perhaps an influx of tourist cash might be the tie that binds this lovers&#8217; knot, through a story that shouldn&#8217;t be forgot. The young couple could settle in their preferred nation, and in return we would help promote Moltevino as a major tourist destination. Lots of sightseers visiting romantic places can put a smile on even the grumpiest of kings&#8217; faces. For never was a story marketed better, than that of Rodney and his Julietta.&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-3" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>&#8220;Oh, just become a monarch,&#8221; shrugs your laziest nephew, Clint, who&#8217;s just been fired after one day at his latest in a long line of jobs. &#8220;Come on, you waving to the people from balconies, talking about &#8216;royal unions between two nations, both alike in dignity&#8217;... folks&#8217;d love it! Then Rodney would be &#8216;His Royal Highness Rodney of Sougra&#8217; and I&#8217;d never have to work again... I mean, and he could be with the Princess. Wouldn&#8217;t that be cool?&#8221;
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-4" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
</ol></form>
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<p class="smalltext rightbox">Issue by <a href="nation=the_free_joy_state" class="nlink"><span class="nnameblock"><span class="ntype">The Petrifying Procrastinations of</span> <span class="nname">The Free Joy State</span></span></a><p class="smalltext rightbox">Edited by <a href="nation=pogaria" class="nlink"><span class="nnameblock">Pogaria</span></a></p>
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"Nobody here on NSG is sane, including me."



Just in case, whenever I really discuss something, it's usually under the pretense of the Socratic Method or the devil's advocate, so just know that I don't always advocate for what I'm saying. Thank you.

P.S. I know my sig is ugly, so send me tips through TGs if you're really that bothered by it. Thanks.

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Trotterdam
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7085
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:15 pm

#1155 The Banquet of Walnuts

The Issue

A massive church scandal has begun unfolding internally after a number of religious leaders and other supposedly holy individuals were found to have participated in an evening of debauchery and licentiousness, the specifics of which are in strict conflict with many core teachings of the faith. Featuring illicit companionship, suggestive dancing, and candied walnuts scattered about the floor for use in shockingly immoral ways, the salacious details of this banquet will surely shake your people's faith to its core.

The Debate

1. "We must make examples of these reprobates!" roars Morty Green, your Minister for Ministries, from the portable pulpit that he is always being wheeled around in by his assistants. "Our faith must show no tolerance for those who deviate from the true path. The perpetrators must be cast out from our nation and into the fires of anywhere but here! They are sick, twisted, and didn't invite me!"

2. "The people won't lose their trust if we make sure they don't hear about this in the first place," murmurs a shady-looking individual slowly rolling a pair of walnuts in his hand. "We just need to hush up what happened, and quietly have the offenders moved to other dioceses so this doesn't happen again... at least not with the same witnesses. If anybody comes forward publicly, we'll accuse them of fabricating it all!"

3. "Is it really so bad?" asks Sydney Murdoch, the official who happens to own the house where the party occurred. "I mean honestly, if the higher power is synonymous with love, what could be more divine than sharing one's love with a few dozen strangers? @@NAME@@ should embrace our activities and teach the populace that all love is good love!"

4. "Honestly, the state shouldn't entangle itself with the private activities of the church, just as the church should stay out of matters of government," flatly states the nearly forgotten Minister of Secular Affairs. "Besides, if our religious leadership can't follow our religion, how can we trust them to guide our country? Perhaps it's time to give secular leaders back their power... say, why are you grabbing that pitchfork?"

Issue by Verdant Haven
Edited by The Marsupial Illuminati
All names look random.

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Verdant Haven
Envoy
 
Posts: 241
Founded: Feb 26, 2013
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Verdant Haven » Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:42 pm

Trotterdam wrote:
#1155 The Banquet of Walnuts

*Snip*

Issue by Verdant Haven
Edited by The Marsupial Illuminati
All names look random.


Can confirm, names are random :-)

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Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4235
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
New York Times Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:56 pm

Oh sweet mercy, do I have a lot to update. ,_,

Glad to see so many VH issues, though I'm not surprised by it. :)
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

User avatar
The Candy Of Bottles
Diplomat
 
Posts: 534
Founded: Jan 01, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Candy Of Bottles » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:56 pm

Pet Theory - 1,156

The Issue
A video recently made the rounds on crowdfunding websites, showing a disease-ridden elderly Giant Mole, clearly in great distress. This was accompanied by a commentary from the owner, pleading for donations to help pay for the medical treatment that she couldn’t afford.

The Debate
0.) “Animals can suffer just as much as humans can,” explains Renee Simpson, the pet owner in question, hoping that it was clear this was an observation rather than a suggestion. “Happily, crowdfunding paid for poor Lucky’s treatment, even though he didn’t make it. For the future though, I think there should be a National Veterinary Service to provide health care for all domesticated animals.”

Accept

1.) “Oh come on, they’re just things! They don’t have feelings!” laughs teenager Zeke Bender whilst pulling the wings off a fly. “Their health is their owner’s cost to cover. If this idiot couldn’t afford to look after her Giant Mole, she should have let it die, or just disposed of it.”

Accept

2.) “We can be balanced about this, and provide something for animals while boosting the economy,” offers Commodus Gruber, CEO of fast food chain BurgerThis. “My company will offer free euthanasia to any sick animals brought to our slaughterhouses, so long as we can keep the remains. You just need to loosen a few bureaucratic regulations, and the problem will be gone.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The January Sales of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
Nation May also be called Ebsas Shomad.
WA Delegate: Tislam Timnärstëlmith (Tislam Taperedtresses)
Operates on EST/EDT
1.) Ignore them, they want attention. Giving it to them will only encourage them.
2.) Keep a backup region or two handy, with a password in place, in case you are raided. You can move there if needed.

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Nation of Quebec
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 8085
Founded: Jan 19, 2006
New York Times Democracy

Postby Nation of Quebec » Sat Jan 26, 2019 3:05 pm

Valentine Z wrote:Issue 1154: Foreign Tax Credits Leave Film Industry Reeling

The Issue: More and more Valentian film studios are turning to Brancaland due to the generous tax credits of the picturesque coastal city Maxhoover. Industry representatives and local patriots alike have prompted calls for action.

[Option 0] “CUT!” shouts controversial film director Charles Chapman, known for his unapologetic patriotism and xenophobia, who is coincidentally filming a scene in your office. “Anna Star Madeline Thanda Pwint Thin Zar, if I may be frank, why don’t we punish these unpatriotic hacks? They show a complete lack of respect for our culture and take jobs away from hardworking citizens. Can’t you put these people on some sort of watchlist and create some sort of committee to assess their loyalty to Valentine Z?”

[Option 1] “What is it about these debates that always attracts crazy extremists?” sighs Ingrid Jackson, the mayor of a lakefront city in Valentine Z. “As much as I’d love for my city to be the face of the film industry, how can we blame these studios for going over to Brancaland? They offer generous tax credits, their people are friendly, and their environment is ranked as one of the best in the world. What we should be doing is offering tax credits of our own to encourage film crews to shoot movies and shows right here at home. Oh, and would it kill you to help us clean up the city? The streets and parks are littered with trash!”

[Option 2] “There’s no need to get your unmentionables in a twist aboot this,” suggests eccentric Brancalandian talent agent Mike Shatner with long pauses between his words. “I’ll have you know that actors are one of Brancaland’s primary exports. In return we offer tax credits and the best studios that money can buy. Unless you want to risk damaging your country’s relationship with Brancaland and deny your people some quality acting, like the award-winning Spit Anna Star Madeline Thanda Pwint Thin Zar Says, I suggest you make it easier for studios to choose Brancaland over Valentine Z. By the way, was that a great impression of you, or what?”

[Option 3] “I would like to suggest that we advertise Valentine Z to a classier audience,” remarks snooty independent film director Michael Preisner while sipping on a glass of Brancalandian Red. “You don’t want the riffraff making Valentine Z look like a bunch of uncultured hicks with explosions and gore-fests, do you? With generous investments in the industry, we can attract the right audiences and weed out the boorish undesirables. You could even host yearly film festivals in The Gloriously Re-Built Aoutpine Yangon to encourage more people to film in our exquisite city!”

Issue by Nation of Quebec
Edited by Nation of Quebec

Option numbers taken from Ctrl + I. Possible custom fields highlighted.


Just a heads up, all the names except for #3 are random.

Also, be sure to incorporate the proper macros in the issue.
Canadian, Left-of-Center, Cynic
Proud Atheist and Geek

All WA matters are handled by my WA puppet state of Velkia and the Islands
Please don't send me unsolicited telegrams. Thank you.

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La Sola Island
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 6
Founded: Aug 10, 2014
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby La Sola Island » Sun Jan 27, 2019 5:15 am

I just got issue #1053 on this puppet and I didn't get Option #3. I do have different policies to the last time this was reported (by my main nation). I have listed all the current policies I have below, but my guess is the validity may be something to do with the permanent marriage/no adultery ones? Not sure.

Government
Autocracy
The nation does not hold democratic elections.

State Press
Only state-controlled media is permitted.

No Dissent
Public protests are illegal.

Society
Permanent Marriage
Divorce is illegal.

Heterosexuality
Same-sex relationships are illegal.

No Adultery
Adultery is prohibited by law.

No Contraception
Contraception is illegal.

No Abortion
Abortion is illegal.

Euthanasia
Citizens are legally entitled to end their lives.

Parental Licensing
Citizens must acquire a license in order to have children.

Nudism
Clothing is forbidden.

Law & Order
Capital Punishment
Citizens may be executed for crimes.

Corporal Punishment
Criminals may be ordered to undergo physical punishment.

Human Sacrifice
Religious sacrifice of human beings is legal.

Conscription
A period of military service is compulsory for all citizens.

No Judiciary
The nation has abolished the court system.

Curfew
The nation enforces a national curfew.

DNA Harvesting
Citizen DNA must be submitted to the state.

Economy
Socialism
Industry is owned and run by the government in a centrally planned economy.

No Computers
Computers are banned.

No Internet
Citizens may not connect to the Internet.

Cannabis
Cannabis may be legally purchased.

Slavery
Slavery is legal.

Autarky
The nation pursues a policy of economic self-sufficiency.

No Gambling
Gambling is illegal.

No Aircraft
Aircraft are banned.

Metricism
The state mandates the use of the metric system.

International
Weapons of Mass Destruction
The nation claims the legal right to use WMDs.

Climate Treaty
The nation is a signatory to an international climate treaty.

No Immigration
Foreigners cannot become residents.

No Emigration
Citizens are not permitted to leave.

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Garden at 6th Mile Road
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 480
Founded: Sep 20, 2017
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Garden at 6th Mile Road » Sun Jan 27, 2019 7:41 pm

Nation of Quebec wrote:
Just a heads up, all the names except for #3 are random.

Also, be sure to incorporate the proper macros in the issue.


Oh yeah, sorry I didn't do that. I just figured that I would leave it to the Editors and Jutsa to help confirm the random fields. I am still not sure which is which at times. :blush:
Factbooks. No NS Stats for this nation! | Theme Song 1 | Theme Song 2
Ruled by * takes a deep breath *
Holly De Stralend en Wonderbaarlijk Licht Koningin Aurora Symantha Vreugde Lavender Astrid Lilac T. Marlie Nova Radiant Lapia Starlight.
• Self-proclaimed King of Forum 7, a.k.a. Forum 7 dweller that your mom warns you about. (Got inspiration from Folknoren).
• Favorite catchphrase: Nani the f**k, so many ninjas.
• A dimensional rift created from nuclear bombs.
• Violently violated the Laws of Thermodynamics with shoddy writing.
Height (Current): 6.00 meters.
(SSCG(3) ↑TREE(3) g64)! Joules,
g64 = Graham's Number, TREE(n) = TREE sequence, SSCG(n) = Friedman's SSCG function, n! = Factorial, and an b = Knuth's Up-Arrow Notation.

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Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4235
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
New York Times Democracy

Postby Jutsa » Sun Jan 27, 2019 7:46 pm

If i may be honest, I actually prefer it that way. That said, the chances of error are pretty even regardless of whether you fill in macros or not
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

User avatar
Trotterdam
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7085
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:47 pm

It's probably best if players fill in non-random macros, particularly the ones based on custom fields (especially if you have something really weird that other players wouldn't immediately recognize as the name of a city/currency/animal/etc.), but leave random macros (character names and pronouns) as is, with highlighting.

User avatar
Divine Cervine
Secretary
 
Posts: 33
Founded: May 19, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Issue #1157: Rodney and Julietta

Postby Divine Cervine » Mon Jan 28, 2019 8:46 pm

Issue #1157 has at least five options (and "piazza vecchia" in option 4 is in italics).


#1157: Rodney and Julietta [The Free Joy State; ed: Pogaria]


Rodney and Julietta

The Issue


The unlikely romance between your nephew Rodney and Princess Julietta, the second daughter of the King of Moltevino, has been the talk of @@REGION@@ for many months. However, it hit a snag when the young couple decided to make a long-term commitment. Moltevino refuses to sanction such a match, as your nephew is not of royal blood.

The Debate

1. “The King of Moltevino extends his noble hand in friendship,” declares Moltevino’s ambassador Lord Capello between tightly clenched lips, half-bowing. “Our fair kingdom has been enriched by exports of our many grape-based products and would like to share that glory through a favorable trade agreement. The King has one small request in return: lock your threadbare juggler of a nephew away from the Pearl of Moltevino, burn all his mad-headed ravings of love, and keep that rancorous coxcomb confined until he has foresworn all ties that he claims existed between himself and the Princess. Her Radiance isn’t a hedge-born puterelle who should be consorting with commoners! No offence intended.”



2. “Pathetic little Moltevino is trying to push us around?” scoffs the Minister of Ego-Boosting. “You could spit from one side of their country and hit the other side! Their only notable export is wine. Granted, it’s damn good wine, but we still have Marche Noire. Let good old Princess Jules come and live in @@NAME@@. What are the Moltevinans gonna do? Invade us to get their ‘Pearl’ back? With what — their army of three pensioners, two cowards, and one courageous golden retriever named ‘Cuddles’? I’d like to see them try!



3. “Pathetic little Moltevino is trying to push us around?” scoffs the Minister of Ego-Boosting and Teetotalism. “You could spit from one side of their country and hit the other side! Their only notable export is wine. I mean, it’s damn good wine... I’ve heard. But we don’t want that stuff in our dry country anyway! Let good old Princess Jules come and live in @@NAME@@. What are the Moltevinans gonna do? Invade us to get their ‘Pearl’ back? With what — their army of three pensioners, two cowards, and one courageous golden retriever named ‘Cuddles’? I’d like to see them try!”



4. “Fair Moltevino has so much more than wine,” exhorts Julius Bullock, the Minister of Culture, as he holds up a brochure. “Look at this: meandering river cruises through wine country, historic architecture, Lovers’ Clock in the piazza vecchia. Perhaps an influx of tourist cash might be the tie that binds this lovers’ knot, through a story that shouldn’t be forgot. The young couple could settle in their preferred nation, and in return we would help promote Moltevino as a major tourist destination. Lots of sightseers visiting romantic places can put a smile on even the grumpiest of kings’ faces. For never was a story marketed better, than that of Rodney and his Julietta.”



5. “Oh, just become a monarch,” shrugs your laziest nephew, Genghis, who’s just been fired after one day at his latest in a long line of jobs. “Come on, you waving to the people from balconies, talking about ‘royal unions between two nations, both alike in dignity’... folks’d love it! Then Rodney would be ‘His Royal Highness Rodney of @@NAME@@’ and I’d never have to work again... I mean, and he could be with the Princess. Wouldn’t that be cool?”




User avatar
Sacara
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1721
Founded: May 13, 2014
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Sacara » Mon Jan 28, 2019 10:48 pm

Question: is it possible for a nation to spend a lot on public education while having a low intelligence rating?
The Blue Republic of Sacara,
I tend to hang out in Got Issues? a lot, with the occasional NSG comment.
Issues That I've Authored (11)

"I see a world full of humans, yet no humanity."

User avatar
Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 17383
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jan 29, 2019 1:52 am

Sacara wrote:Question: is it possible for a nation to spend a lot on public education while having a low intelligence rating?


Wrong thread for this, but yes.

User avatar
Trotterdam
Negotiator
 
Posts: 7085
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Tue Jan 29, 2019 2:41 am

#1158 Flying Into a Rage

The Issue

Two passengers were both accused of&nbsp;going on&nbsp;drunken&nbsp;rampages&nbsp;on two different flights. When they each faced the same judge on the same day, one was sentenced to two years in prison while the other was issued a small fine and a stern warning.&nbsp;The only apparent difference between the two is that the first was a man, and the second was a woman.

The Debate

1. "This is sky-high sexism," complains @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, brother to the convicted man.&nbsp;"Both people here pleaded guilty to and&nbsp;committed the same crime, but were treated totally differently! The system is discriminatory against men, and must be changed! Sentences should be based on the crime, not the perpetrator's gender!"

2. "This man is being ludicrous," counters Judge @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@.&nbsp;"When sentencing, we look at a wide range of factors.&nbsp;These include assessment of statistical likelihood of repeat offence, and the aggression of the individual. The law is not black and white, and I judged that this 120-kilo skinhead male was more likely to reoffend than the mild-mannered and charming young lady in the sensible suit. Judicial discretion is essential in sentencing, and must be respected."

3. "Why dost thou think it so ill if a maiden receiveth a more lenient sentence than a knave?" questions armourclad medieval re-enactor @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, as he hands out pamphlets about the benefits of chivalry. "Menfolk are&nbsp;more&nbsp;capable of tolerating prison than the weaker flowers of femininity, and our poor ladyfolk art needed back at the hearth to tend to the children, and to their womanly duties! Spare the weaker sex the indignity of gaol, I beseech thee!"

Issue by Australian rePublic
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive





In other (unsurprising) news, #1156 option 3 is unavailable to nations with Vegetarianism. (Socialism appears to prevent the entire issue, not just this option.)

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