NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Jutsa]

Oh, yay! This one!

edit: Added! Good fun, that one. *gesticulates erratically*

[The Sherpa Empire]

Oh, yay! This one!

edit: Added! Good fun, that one. *gesticulates erratically*

*tosses a diminutive wrestler at you*

Catch!

[Veeblefetzer]

Nope. I'm not going to remember that.

The thread is stickied, so it's always at the top of the forum. It's also named "Help us fix old issues", which is pretty informative. That help you find it?

Nope. I don't come here that often. Sorry I don't think like you.

[Veeblefetzer]

The benefits of creating an entirely new reporting function are unlikely to justify the time investment.

Versus the time sink for trading cards. So useful that is. Keep arguing.

[Reploid Productions]

Nope. I don't come here that often. Sorry I don't think like you.

Versus the time sink for trading cards. So useful that is. Keep arguing.

You need to review this. Bad faith, nonconstructive sniping that serves no other purpose but to make digs at other posters and the Issue Editors is not welcome and will not be tolerated. Especially when it doubles as flamebait, which is in violation of the site rules. Continued such antics will result in posts being removed from the thread and/or warnings as appropriate.


~Evil Forum Empress Rep Prod the Ninja Mod
~She who wields the Banhammer; master of the mighty moderation no-dachi Kiritateru Teikoku

[Trotterdam]

Both names in #1139 are random. I can't confirm genders (I'm curious about option 2, which doesn't have a name...).

[Jutsa]

Thanks, Trot.

[The Free Joy State]

Both names in #1139 are random. I can't confirm genders (I'm curious about option 2, which doesn't have a name...).

All genders are also completely random.

[Jutsa]

I saw this little guy poking around in my daily issues.

#1141: The Trolley Problem [Verdant Haven; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
After the public poll to name any of the states or regions’s newest trolley line was handily won by a tired and insincere meme response, making it the sixth consecutive poll with similar results, the mayor has come to your office begging for an official stance on naming procedures for public projects.

The Debate
1. “Trolley McTrolleyface?” sighs the mayor dejectedly. “I have to ride to work on Trolley McTrolleyface? I wanted ‘The Feejayoplep Express,’ but no, we’re stuck with this boring nonsense again. Instead of throwing open these polls to every juvenile delinquent or obnoxious ‘Grick and Morgy’ fan, could we please establish some boundaries? How about a committee of respected citizens to vet the choices that are on the ballot? That way the people get their say, and we get some dignity!”

2. “Remind me again why we let the public vote on this stuff at all,” interjects your Auxiliary Regional Subaltern for Naming Things. “The government foots the bill, the government has the responsibility for maintaining our nation’s image, and the government should choose the name! Heck, perhaps you should just name the next project after yourself!”

3. “Are you kidding me? These names are great!” bubbles Bob Boothroyd, your Communication Director’s intern, while excitedly checking your metrics. “This isn’t civic failing, it’s civic engagement! If some silly names are all it takes to get citizens fired up and interested in public works, then isn’t that worth it? Who cares if it’s a bit repetitious – it’s great for our optics! Besides, if we really are a democracy, we have to respect the people’s vote.”

[USS Monitor]

A post has been removed from this thread in accordance with the bad faith policy as explained here: viewtopic.php?f=13&t=441442

The purpose of this thread is to collect new issues, not to bicker with editors, mods, or fellow players. Thanks.

[Jutsa]

Added. Hopefully it's listed properly.

Thank you, Reppy and Monitor, for helping out,
and thank you Ransium for giving me a lifetime supply of new posts to put new issues in.

[Verdant Haven]

Added. Hopefully it's listed properly.

Thank you, Reppy and Monitor, for helping out,
and thank you Ransium for giving me a lifetime supply of new posts to put new issues in.

Looking all proper for 1141, with the exception of a single missing word in the first sentence: "After the public poll to @@CAPITAL@@’s newest trolley line" should be "After the public poll to name @@CAPITAL@@’s newest trolley line."

Otherwise it matches what I've got :-D

[Ransium]

Since Monitor moved a post to the evidence locker for bad faith, I’ve moved an IEs response there as well. This isn’t the thread for this.

[Jutsa]

Ah yeah, sorry about that Verdant; my @@CAPITAL@@ is a whole string of words that make reports exceedingly difficult to parse.

edit: I think I came up with some kind of potential name over in Forest's map request thread or something, might change it for sanity purposes.

[Verdant Haven]

Ah yeah, sorry about that Verdant; my @@CAPITAL@@ is a whole string of words that make reports exceedingly difficult to parse.

edit: I think I came up with some kind of potential name over in Forest's map request thread or something, might change it for sanity purposes.

Haha, yeah, it took me about 30 seconds to figure out what on Earth I was reading when I first saw your report here, trying to figure out if I'd missed something in the final draft Pogaria sent me :-P S'all good!

[Jutsa]

Golly gee willikers, I got 1140 as well!

Blinded by the Light [Nation of Quebec; ed: Nation of Quebec]

The Issue
It is a Jutsaish tradition to light up one’s home with demonstrative holiday lights during festive seasons. While this has always been a distractive issue for drivers, one rather competitive neighborhood in any of the states or regions caused quite a stir. The strobe lights and military-grade lasers used in several displays caused multiple traffic accidents and temporary blindness, prompting a national discussion on this issue and scores of lawsuits.

The Debate
1. “These lights must be banned!” demands Stella Conway, as she unintentionally smacks your interns with her walking stick. “My life has been disrupted by temporary blindness because some idiot thought it was a good idea to use strobe lights! The government must step in and ban all of these eyesores before they hurt anyone else. What’s so fun about staring at some lights, anyway?”

2. “Come on now, you can’t be serious!” scoffs personal injury lawyer and five-time winner of Best Light Display in Any of the states or regions, Bella Kettering. “What about the holiday spirit and our freedom of expression? You can’t ban something that people have enjoyed for years just because a few people end up getting hurt! You’d be robbing Jutsa of a very important holiday tradition. Besides, these injuries are great for business.”

3. “Compromise, everyone!” exclaims your Minister of Compromises, who has been appearing in far too many meetings recently. “I agree that banning holiday lights is a ridiculous idea, but at the same time we can’t ignore the risks to public health and safety. So how about we mandate that the manufacturers tone down the brightness in their lights and ban the sale of military grade lasers and excessively bright strobe lights to the public? That way people still get their lights and nobody risks getting blinded! It sure beats spending the holidays in a hospital.”

4. “The problem isn’t lights! It’s drivers!” complains safety advocate and leader of the Mothers Against Everything protest group, Minerva Rikkard. “Even during regular days we have careless drivers going way over the speed limit, putting our children’s lives at risk. Cars must be banned from suburban roads! That’s what will reduce accidents, not banning lights!”

Checked for internal numbering, too.
edit: added italics. Really oughta change my customizable areas.

[Jutsa]

And added. Funny issue, NoQ; love the premise.

[Feria-Alkaline]

Ayo Jutsa, got you an 1143!

The Issue
The long arm of the law has finally caught up with the most notorious burglar in @@NAME@@, with investigative diligence revealing that the man who stole the ceremonial staff from parliament was almost certainly William Watterson, better known as ‘Burglar Bill’. The only problem is that forty years have passed since the crime.

The Debate
“The principle of a statute of limitations is important to due process,” declares Winston Davis, a defence lawyer and civil rights expert who recently managed to get serial killer ‘Psycho Pete’ released on compassionate grounds. “After so many years, the case for prosecution is no longer viable. Witness accounts can no longer be considered reliable, and physical evidence will have deteriorated. Also, the suspect is now a frail, old man who has certainly committed no crime in decades. The police were clearly incompetent in their inability to bring a prosecution to bear within a reasonable timeframe. Any outcome other than dismissal of the case would be a grave injustice.”

“You don’t stop being guilty just because time has passed,” insists Calvin Kumar, Head Warden at @@CAPITAL@@ Prison as he runs his truncheon along the radiator in your office. “This man is a common thief and shouldn’t be allowed to get away with what he did. It cost the state a lot of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ to replace the ceremonial staff, not to mention the national embarrassment it caused us. Put this criminal where he belongs – in jail!”

“Burglar Bill is awesome!” announces your brother, as he adds the latest addition to his Burglar Bill scrapbook, which he has had since he was a kid. “The daring break-in into parliament, avoiding the cops for four decades - this man knows his stuff! You should make Burglar Bill your Chief of Police; his inside knowledge of the criminal underworld makes him the perfect fit for the job.”

Issue by The Imperial Glorious Empire of Baggieland

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

I'm not sure about the names being macros. I'm also not sure if there's another option here; I saw 0, 1, and 2, but I can't be sure.

[Trotterdam]

What's the issue's name?

I see no evidence of additional options on my end. The draft thread doesn't include any either. Very little seems to have changed from the draft, other than removing the assumption about whether the player nation had a statute of limitations a priori.

[Feria-Alkaline]

What's the issue's name?

I see no evidence of additional options on my end. The draft thread doesn't include any either. Very little seems to have changed from the draft, other than removing the assumption about whether the player nation had a statute of limitations a priori.

Dammit. Yeah... uh. About that... I don't have the title. Crap.

Good job, me. XD

[The Free Joy State]

What's the issue's name?

I see no evidence of additional options on my end. The draft thread doesn't include any either. Very little seems to have changed from the draft, other than removing the assumption about whether the player nation had a statute of limitations a priori.

Dammit. Yeah... uh. About that... I don't have the title. Crap.

Good job, me. XD

Issue #1143 is called "Running From Time".

Names #1 and #2 are @@RANDOMNAME@@. Burglar Bill is fixed and his real name is William @@RANDOMSURNAME@@

[Minoa]

#501 is written by Leninkrav, not Lavendertopia.

[Divine Cervine]

#1142: Womb Service [Pirate States of Morgana; ed: The Free Joy State]

Womb Service

The Issue

A recent article published in The @@CAPITAL@@ Times featured a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ woman who’s had her second abortion in two years, with both procedures having been covered in full by the nation’s public healthcare system. The national debate that’s followed has become impossible to ignore.

The Debate

1. “I’ll be dammed if this doesn’t keep coming up every couple years,” sighs a representative from the Womb Tang Clan, a leading abortion advocacy group. “Sneaking around in bathroom stalls is for politicians, not for women seeking legitimate healthcare! We need to keep abortion safe and legally accessible to all women, especially the vulnerable women who are most likely to need more than one abortion and would be most impacted by any attempt to limit or defund abortions. @@LEADER@@, we must mandate full healthcare provision of these vital, life-saving services and fund the distribution of free contraception to all women in @@NAME@@.”



2. [unknown]



3. “Well, I never!” gasps renowned socialite Ms. Effie Beauregard-Sessile, dropping what appears to be a pair of opera glasses. “Murdering babies is healthcare now? Whatever is this world coming to? If we’re going to make @@NAME@@ great again, we can’t be seen funneling tax money towards fetal genocide! We need to respect innocent, unborn @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ children by making abortion illegal under any circumstance and prosecuting these witches as the murderers they are.” She pulls out a folding fan and begins fanning herself with dainty flicks of her wrist.



4. “I have no objection to little ladies getting an abortion,” chortles Stan Li, striding into the center of the room while tipping his Stetson to the previous two speakers. “But listen, @@LEADER@@, my... erm, our tax @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ shouldn’t be spent covering all these preventable health problems. If a negligent individual has any adverse health outcome — an unintended pregnancy, diabetes, heart disease, cancer — well, that’s their choice and their right! But it should also be their responsibility. The national health service should only pay if people did nothing that could have possibly brought on their illness.”



5. “Let’s all agree that one accident can happen, right? But not learning something from that, having a second unintended pregnancy...” A cloaked figure from the back of the room steps into the light, a sneer spreading across his lips. “Well, that kind of woman cannot be trusted with the responsibility of self-management society granted her. If any woman should ever want a second abortion, the government should only fund it if she agrees to a simultaneous sterilization procedure.”

Issue by The Federation of Pirate States of Morgana
Edited by The Free Joy State

[Jutsa]

Added 1142 and 1143. Many thanks, guys.

Now we'll need to find 1142 and 1143; dunno what for the former (ed2: Maybe no contraceptives?),
and the latter idk exists but probably should on account of not all nations having prisons.

ed: Also really happy to see 1143's last option, there. If I couldn't add an option like that, I'm glad someone else could.

[Jutsa]

#501 is written by Leninkrav, not Lavendertopia.

Holy... cow, how in the name of Max Barry did Lavendertopia get there? >_<