Advertisement
by Jutsa » Sun Dec 16, 2018 5:51 pm
by Minoa » Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:09 am
by Aislam » Mon Dec 17, 2018 2:49 pm
by Techolandia » Mon Dec 17, 2018 5:35 pm
by Australian rePublic » Mon Dec 17, 2018 9:29 pm
by Trotterdam » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:32 am
This is not #1130. This is #488.Aislam wrote:#1130: Bright Orange Is the New Black[Ruben; ed:Aislam]
by The Free Joy State » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:44 am
Techolandia wrote:*snip*
by Jutsa » Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:53 am
by The Free Joy State » Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:56 am
Jutsa wrote:and authored by someone I've never seen and edited by the poster.
by Jutsa » Tue Dec 18, 2018 9:21 am
by USS Monitor » Tue Dec 18, 2018 10:13 am
Aislam wrote:#1130: Bright Orange Is the New Black[Ruben; ed:Aislam]
The Issue
A misunderstanding involving a 12-year-old boy, a plastic toy gun, and five heavily armed police officers has resulted in substantial public uproar. The major news networks are having a field day over-analyzing the manufacturing and selling of bright orange sci-fi inspired toy guns for children.
The Debate
1. “We’re raising a generation of natural born killers!” writes vocal party member Amanda Vajiralongkorn in her latest Barryblog post. “Next thing you know, they’ll want to play with real guns! When will it end? Remember, people don’t kill people, guns do! Even toy guns! We need to get anything that even remotely resembles a gun out of circulation!”
2. “Hey! That’s our jobs you’re talking about!” @@RANDOMNAME@@ , State Director of Toy Manufacture, waving around a realistic looking replica of an AK-47. “Banning our most popular toy lines would seriously damage our industry. I’d say the best way to handle this situation is a healthy fund allocation to toy production. If we were better resourced, we could up production and flood the nation with so many toy guns that no kid would even want one! Then we make them something better,” he says, letting out a long eerie laugh.
3. “Y’all gotta be kiddin’ me,” grumbles local gun enthusiast, @@RANDOMNAME@@ before spitting into a tin can near the doorway. “Plastic toy rayguns ain’t doin’ nobody no harm. When I was li’l we played with BB guns all th’ dad-gum time! Y’all wanna ban toy guns? Shoot, we should giv’em real guns! Make it legal, n’ all. I bet it’d even lower crime rates! Who’d wanna rob a house knowing little Tommy has a 9 mil?”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answer
1. Gun regulations are so strict even staple guns and hot glue guns are illegal.
by Jutsa » Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:24 pm
by Verdant Haven » Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:38 pm
by Jutsa » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:24 pm
by Aramanchovia » Wed Dec 19, 2018 3:00 pm
by Verdant Haven » Wed Dec 19, 2018 4:51 pm
by Australian rePublic » Fri Dec 21, 2018 3:41 pm
by Armouria » Sun Dec 23, 2018 4:17 am
by Bears Armed » Sun Dec 23, 2018 6:19 am
Armouria wrote:4) “You must call for a manhunt!” barks cop Harold Callahan, flashing a shiny star at you. “Our boss is too important an individual for us to abandon to who-knows-what shady mishap. But don’t worry, our policing can do this job. Or, as a backup plan, find his body anyway.”
by Jutsa » Sun Dec 23, 2018 8:51 am
by Verdant Haven » Sun Dec 23, 2018 9:08 am
Bears Armed wrote:Armouria wrote:4) “You must call for a manhunt!” barks cop Harold Callahan, flashing a shiny star at you. “Our boss is too important an individual for us to abandon to who-knows-what shady mishap. But don’t worry, our policing can do this job. Or, as a backup plan, find his body anyway.”
Do the police really need @@LEADER@@'s orders to start a manhunt?!? Talk about over-centralisation and micro-management...
by The Candy Of Bottles » Tue Dec 25, 2018 8:31 pm
The Issue
Nearly two dozen sightseers were injured yesterday in a rockfall. Their tour bus, which had been travelling through a scenic mountainous region in northern The Candy Of Bottles, was struck by a large boulder as it tumbled down a steep slope. The accident has resulted in calls to protect roadways in areas prone to rockfalls.
The Debate
1.) “I just wanted to see the sights. Instead I got slammed by clastic sedimentary rocks!” exclaims rockfall survivor and geologist Tina Peña, cuts and bruises visible on her extremities. “After the accident, the first thing I did was get down on my hands and knees and thank my lucky stars. The next thing I did was wonder how The Candy Of Bottles could even allow something like this to occur! Motorists shouldn’t have to worry about conglomerates crashing into them! Protective roadside barriers and fences should be erected in areas where rockfalls are common.”
Accept
2.) “It was a tragedy, for sure, yet another example why safety should never be taken for granite,” states environmentalist Carmen Watson. “Constructing roadside barriers and fences just isn’t worth it, and not only because they’d break the bank. In doing their duty, they’d also mar some of the most beautiful roadside views in The Candy Of Bottles and disrupt local wildlife. Of course, people’s safety is important, so posting warning signs along the roadside is an appropriate measure to take. If a driver can’t spot a huge boulder coming at them, then maybe they shouldn’t be allowed on the roads in the first place.”
Accept
3.) “They say it takes millions of years for mountainous regions to form,” explains Gerald Davenport, CEO of one of the largest mining companies in The Candy Of Bottles. “If you allow us to perform mountaintop removal mining, rockfalls and the ugly, eroding mountains and cliffs responsible for causing them will be a thing of the past. Drivers will have peace of mind, certain that they will reach their destination in one piece. All the while, the economy will benefit from the minerals extracted from the excavation sites! I mean, talk about killing two birds with one stone!”
Accept
Dismiss This Issue
Issue by The Royal Dominion of Candensia
Edited by Nation of Quebec
by Aramanchovia » Wed Dec 26, 2018 5:02 am
The Candy Of Bottles wrote:Rocky Road #1133
by Furry Things » Wed Dec 26, 2018 8:18 am
The Candy Of Bottles wrote:Rocky Road #1133
Advertisement
Users browsing this forum: No registered users
Advertisement