NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Nice-Things]

925
Ring of Death


The Issue

Rival WhoTube celebrities PooDiePoo and Ethan Wrong recently decided to duke it out in the boxing ring as a crass publicity stunt to promote a new videogame. They fought without receiving any prior training, and tragically a stray punch to PooDiePoo’s temple led to a fatal intracerebral haemorrhage.

The Debate

1.“How could I have known this would happen?” vlogs Ethan Wrong, wiping a carefully choreographed tear from his cheek. “All we wanted to do was entertain our subscribers and get more clicks! I definitely didn’t intend to injure him, at least not to such an extent. Hey, Leader, if you publicly follow my Featured Whotuber Channel, it’ll show the nation that you understand where us kids are coming from.”


2.“How dare you!” shrieks an ardent fan of the deceased PooDiePoo, clenching his fists in rage. “You killed him because he was in direct competition with your channel! You shouldn’t be able to get away with murder so easily. Deliberate injuries should be prosecuted, inside or outside of the boxing ring.”


3.“Hold on!” pleads former pro-boxer Konrad Octavian, still twitching a little from a past head injury. “People love boxing matches, and you can’t stop the noble art of pugigis... paloogilis... uh... fighting. It should just be professionals though, so that accidents won’t happen again.”


Issue by The UD Parliamentary Republic of Singapore no2

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Greater Chernobyl-]

922
I’ll Have What She’s Having


The Issue

The formerly insignificant nation of Merovingia has come to international attention recently with its patissiers creating a formidable new chocolate cake called “The Grand Moment”. It’s said that this cake has an unusual effect on the biochemistry of women who indulge in it, creating waves of female pleasure that cannot be found elsewhere in the culinary world. Discussions ensue over a family game of Scrabble.

The Debate

1.“We. Must. Have. This. CAKE!” shouts your grandmother, gripping her tile tray with surprising intensity. “Buy it in. Relax any and all barriers to entry. This could be a once in a lifetime experience! Don’t you dare stand in our way!”


2.“I understand that scientific analyses suggest there may be some dubious microbes and unapproved pharmaceuticals amongst the special additives here,” postulates your grandfather, as he twiddles an ‘O’ tile in his hand but fails to spot the ‘G’ he needs. “We shouldn’t allow foodstuffs to cross our borders until they pass rigorous food safety standards checks to prove that they are microbe and toxin-free.”


3“Women are flighty and irrational creatures,” lectures your recently-separated brother condescendingly, struggling to work out what word he can spell with the letters L, S, O, E and R. “Frankly, we ought to deny them indulgences and selfish pleasures to better focus their minds on their feminine duties: cooking, raising children and cleaning. Never trust a woman who smiles too much; that’s my motto.”


4“I’m more curious to know about why there’s no male pleasure here,” says your visually-impaired teenage nephew, licking frosting from his fingers. “We should let the women do whatever they like, but let’s spend some research money looking at how to stimulate male neurochemistry. With enough research, I reckon that we could be the world leaders in culinary pleasure for men.”


Issue by The Peripatetic Panopticon of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by The Free Joy State

[Jutsa]

tragically a stray punch to PooDiePoo’s temple led to a fatal intracerebral haemorrhage.

Is it me or did you guys just feel like killing Pewdiepie?

Updated. A couple of almost sports-related drafts, I see.

Update: omg the cake issue, YES! Added that as well.

[Loud Lawnmowers]

I was not eligible for 769.2, probably due to the internet ban in my country.

[Bob The Great Builder]

926
Ghost in the Machine


The Issue
After the untimely death of the nation’s cyber security director, the public has been reblogging concerns about who owns their social media profiles once they’ve passed away.

The Debate
1“Clearly, the rights to one’s personal social media profile should default to the state,” says your interim cyber security director Agnieszka Venkman, while peering up from her uPhone 84. “Think of all the information we could collect that could help us track down suspected terrorists, or figure out the opposition’s plans. We must seize all social media accounts once citizens are deceased!” She continues staring down at the screen, and bumps into a lamp on her way out of the door.


2“That would be a blatant violation of one’s privacy!” declares noted civil liberties leader John Doe in a deep, deliberately muffled voice, while checking your fireplace for bugs. “I don’t want anyone taking control of my social media profiles, even after I’ve taken the long nap! The government should leave our data to the websites where we input it, and make sure that the state stays out of our hair.” He pushes his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose and takes one last glance around your office before buttoning up his black trenchcoat and exiting.


3“Isn’t this the sort of thing people should have wills for?” asks your attorney, Declan Cooper, who is currently creeping through your nearest file cabinet. “Simply mandate that every citizen outline a plan for the disposal of their digital accounts after their death, and we won’t need to worry about this. I suppose we should also ensure that they sort out their physical assets.” He upsets your alphabetization as manila folders go flying across the room.



Issue by Union of socialist states of america

Edited by Zwangzug

[Trotterdam]

Phew! When I checked in today, there were 17 new effect lines. One turned out to be a change, and these three issues helped me sort through many of them (heads up: I suspect #922 might have another option). The remaining two issues seem to include one about astronomy and one about vacationing politicians (possibily in nations that banned emigration, or something to do with suspecting them of foreign influence?), with an option involving police brutality mixed in somehow (maybe that's another option on #925? if it's #923 or #924, that'll probably be obvious once those are posted).

Correction: Make that 7. Got #916 off of NSIndex.

Somehow I'm not too surprised Zwanzug edited it...

Ah yes, the "@@CAPITAL@@ @@ANIMALPLURAL@@".

Examples I have seen include:
"Freedom Sasquatches"
"Credum City Holy Ghosts"
"Solidarity Eagles"
"Jari-Aruja Elephants"
"Iressi Heights Porpoises"
"Kangarooms City Pandas"
"Grand Echo Sulphur-Crested Cockatoos"
"Willburg Wills"
"Aretel City Humans"
"Alexandria Cybernetic Squirrels"

[Jutsa]

mine'd be "any of the states or regions Feejayopleps"

Udpated and added... though, I'm honestly not sure.

@769.2: I think it has less to do with internet and more to do with scientific advancement and/or information technology... not certain.

@926: Added, but I have to wonder about a couple things:
1) which names, if any, are random? I know John Doe is definitely not random.
2) What's the author's name..? Is the whole nation "Union of socialist states of america"?

The fact that two "Socialist States of America" and two "Union of Socialist States of America" exist in the boneyard
(3/4 of which had 110 million when they died) is not helping any.

We should have an issue about vigilante nationstates with uncreative and same-sounding names.

[Trotterdam]

2) What's the author's name..? Is the whole nation "Union of socialist states of america"?

I think it's Union of Socialist States of America, a nation that ceased to exist 126 days ago. (You can tell because nonexistant nations have their capitalization removed in most of the game, but you can check it in the boneyard.)

The fact that two "Socialist States of America" and two "Union of Socialist States of America" exist in the boneyard
(3/4 of which had 110 million when they died) is not helping any.

Pretitles aren't listed with deceased nations, and they're decapitalized. You can tell by the fact that the poster didn't bother to fix the capitalization (note the first and only capitalized letter is in "Union", not "socialist") that he probably just copied it verbatim.

[Jutsa]

Always sad to see when someone's issue makes it to the game, but they have no way of knowing about it.

Congratulations to them regardless, though.

[Trotterdam]

(heads up: I suspect #922 might have another option)

Okay, false alarm on that one. Looks like one of the options on the foreign-influence-on-politicians issue also happens to mention breakfast.

[An imagination]

924
Total Eclipse of the Brain


The Issue
Earlier today, a mysterious bearded stranger announced himself in the centre of An imagination City. He drew a crowd by telling of his ability to block out the sun, demanding that everyone hand over all their gold or face the consequences. A few moments later, the sun disappeared! Panicking, those gathered gave him their jewellery, watches and even the gold fillings from their teeth.

The Debate

1.“Behold my miracles,” states the stranger. “Just as I foretold, the sun was blocked out for a full three minutes and did not return until I commanded it to shine again. You should recognise a messiah when you see one! Install me as your Minister for Sun Protection, and give me a budget for sun worship rituals.”


2.“He’s not a messiah; he’s a very naughty boy!” lectures peripatetic pedagogue Miss Perspicacia Tick. “For goodness sake, hasn’t anyone heard of a solar eclipse? Honestly, this nation has some of the dimmest people I’ve ever had the misfortune of trying to teach. You should put funding in place for every school to have telescopes and accredited science textbooks. And yes, I would love to run your new Science Academy.”


3.“Minister for Sun Protection! Science academies! What utter nonsense!” declares sceptical police officer Don Nutt. “Con artists bug me more than murderers! Just let me take both these swindlers to the station, and I’m sure they’ll confess to everything after a damned good beating!”


Issue by The Imperial Glorious Empire of Baggieland

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Awesome country of JJ2]

I was invalid for 433.4, but it seems odd since i'm a religious nation.

[Jutsa]

All updated. Wasn't this made shortly after the eclipse we had last year?

Oh, also, we only need to find 3 more issues unless more were added.

[Jutsa]

I was invalid for 433.4, but it seems odd since i'm a religious nation.

Ahah! It's probably because violetism is illegal in your nation, which might make sense if all other religions are illegal.

[Awesome country of JJ2]

I was invalid for 433.4, but it seems odd since i'm a religious nation.

Ahah! It's probably because violetism is illegal in your nation, which might make sense if all other religions are illegal.

Well, all other religions aren't illegal.

[Jutsa]

idk then, if you didn't explicitly ban violetism or religions other than your own.

Maybe it's because you're religious that you don't qualify for that option?

[Trotterdam]

3. "Minister for Sun Protection! Science academies! What utter nonsense!" declares sceptical police officer Don Nutt. "Con artists bug me more than murderers! Just let me take both these swindlers to the station, and I’m sure they'll confess to everything after a damned good beating!"

There's the police brutality option I was wondering about. That isn't where I expected it.

Oh, also, we only need to find 3 more issues unless more were added.

I do think we're up to #927. Something about "warnings about emergencies are the leading cause of emergency-related injuries".

[Jutsa]

Nope that's almost certainly #911.

[Trotterdam]

Nope that's almost certainly #911.

Oh right. I missed that.

Think "the Treasury Minister takes anxiety medication every time kids lose their sports kits" fits there too? Or wait, that looks like it could also fit on #917.

[Jutsa]

Welp... I got issue #923.

#923: Ministers Exposing Themselves

The Issue
It was recently discovered that your Finance Minister owns several properties in Marche Noire and your Defense Minister has stocks in a Maxtopian arms manufacturing company. Concern has been raised that this information was not disclosed before the previous election, and now represents a conflict of interest for both ministers.

The Debate
1. “You have to admit, this looks incredibly corrupt,” states your long-suffering Deputy Defense Minister. “How do we know that they’re not creating policies, particularly in the area of foreign affairs, to line the pockets of their cronies? The Maxtopian government is notoriously corrupt, and everyone knows that Marche Noire is riddled with East Lebatuck spies. If we want to maintain public trust, we’re going to have to come down hard on these two. For the sake of our government’s reputation, the Ministers must resign!”

2.“That simply doesn’t go far enough!” adds government watchdog Rex de Vries, whose most recent crusade forced the entire government to switch from four ply to one ply toilet paper. “Anyone running for any political office must disclose all of their financial assets to the authorities for rigorous investigation prior to their nomination. That way, potential conflicts of interest can be avoided before a scandal happens. If they have any assets overseas, they must sell them off before accepting the nomination. It’s the best way to keep our government safe and free of corruption.”

3. “Aren’t you jumping the gun a little there?” replies your Finance Minister, after discreetly blotting out the address of his mansion on an expense report. “Just because I own lots of property overseas doesn’t mean I’m susceptible to blackmail or leaving confidential documents unprotected. This feels more like a punishment for being wealthy, brought on by the jealous critics who wish they were as successful as me. Why should that prevent me from running? Don’t you want the best people for the job?”

Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec

Edited by Caracasus

P.S. I checked for italics and internal numbering.

[Trotterdam]

I'm more interested in which effect line is for the first option and which is for the second. They both read almost the same.

[Jutsa]

Sorry about that, Trotterdam.

I'm all for political integrity, but I'm one of those people who don't care whether a politician's got investments overseas.

[Fauxia]

923- Name in option 2 is random, and the gender of the Finance Minister is also random

[Jutsa]

Thanks! I don't think I even noticed the "his" in option 3.

[Bollesia]

927
Your Assignment, Should You Choose to Accept It


The Issue
A coalition of middle-schoolers and educators have come into the spotlight for proposing that homework should be banned, claiming that it disadvantages the poor.

The Debate
1.“Homework is just another form of bourgeois subjugation!” exclaims surprisingly knowledgeable 12-year old Francis Holland, leader of the activist group School Children Raging Against Plutocratic Systems. “The children of the impoverished proletariat have far worse work environments after school - their parents usually have less time to assist them due to working multiple jobs, and they have fewer resources at hand. I suggest we set a level playing field and prohibit all homework.”


2.“There is a legitimate concern raised here,” says Ronald, an annoyingly hipster teacher, who prefers that his students address him by his first name only. “I agree homework should be banned for the sake of the poorer students, but it is a good source of cognitive production. Therefore, I propose a compromise: let’s ban homework, but even it out by lengthening the school day.”


3.“The problem is these miscreants don’t have enough homework,” argues Mr. Jackman, a frighteningly strict teacher, who then takes a moment to admonish Francis for sloppy deportment. “My advice is that every teacher, in every lesson, every day must be required to set at least an hour’s homework. That should keep the little buggers busy!”



Issue by The Magic Friendly Ponies of Fauxia

Edited by Baggieland