#842: @@LEADER@@ And The Chocolate Factory [Marilyn Manson Freaks; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]
The Issue
Local chocolate factory Wenko’s Candy Universe was busted by the police last night. Authorities discovered that it was only able to produce its tasty treats at low, low prices due to a workforce that was comprised of illegal immigrants from Zompaboodaland, a battle-ravaged country that has been mired in a decades-long civil war. The ill-treated workers had been smuggled into @@NAME@@ with the promise of work, and were being forced to “work off their cost of passage.”
The Debate
1. A group of men each as tall as your knee stumble into the room and break into song. “Zoompo-boodo-zippity-zoo, master feeds us terrible food. Zoompo-boodo-zippa-dah-deeeeee, if you are bad he will whip ye! What do you get when you eat like a cat? An eating disorder, and that is that! I don’t like the taste of it!” The Zompa Boodas hand you a petition asking for all illegal immigrants to be granted amnesty and citizenship, before they are shoveled into a wheelbarrow by your security guard, in order to remove them from your office.
2. “WHAAAAAT?” inquires madman factory owner, Willy Wenko. “These claims are preposterous! My little helpers have their own lives, families, and free will. Furthermore, I pay them plenty!” He turns to the last three little workers still in your office, handing two of them a piece of chocolate each, but grabbing the third around the throat. “So you thought it was a good idea to tell tales, huh? NO RATIONS FOR A WEEK! Ahaha, sorry, that was just a little joke... I beg you, allow me to keep our little factory family together, and let the magic of Wenko Chocolates keep bringing smiles to little children’s faces! For the kids, @@LEADER@@, the kids!”
3. “Are you kidding me? This is a no-brainer!” exclaims Immigration Officer Charles Bucket, whose fearless infiltration of the factory was instrumental in busting open the Wenko case. “It is obvious this purple-hatted lunatic was exploiting these people! How would you like it if you were kidnapped by some rich weirdo to work in their factory forever? We need to ship these little folk home immediately!”