NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Trotterdam]

#754 The Hit Parade

The Issue

Two decommissioned satellites recently collided, the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ craft @@ANIMAL@@-4, and East Lebatuck's Sputnak-3. In the aftermath, scientists have become alarmed over the possibility of Kessler syndrome, a phenomenon where the density of debris in space becomes so high collisions can have a domino effect, causing further collisions and debris. Using crayons and peanut butter, your aides have drawn you a diagram to try to convince you that this positive feedback loop could ultimately destroy all low earth orbit satellites, making space travel impossible for generations.

The Debate

1. "I have a bad feeling about this," warns famously handsome astronaut, Lieutenant George Kloonalski. "It's the same feeling I once had on a space walk while repairing a satellite, and that did not end up going well. But I don't want to bore you with my space stories, the point is, reforms are desperately needed to make sure collisional cascading does not happen. You should make sure every satellite launched in @@NAME@@ has high standards of safety and planning, most importantly having a plan for satellite disposal at mission's end. Given the gravity of the situation, I think these steps are unavoidable."

2. "Taking unilateral action is futile if other space-faring nations do not also act in kind," remarks mediator Carey Fissinger, well known for space shuttle diplomacy. "We need to immediately launch an international space debris summit to assure that all nations, not just @@NAME@@, properly regulate launched satellites. Given the dependence of modern economies on satellites, we shouldn't be afraid to use trade sanctions and other forms of political pressure to persuade all nations to agree to global regulations."

3. "But East Lebatuck started it!" whines @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your more petulant advisers. "@@ANIMAL@@-4 was just fine until that stupid Sputnak-3 hit it. We shouldn't have to do anything other than tell the world where we're putting satellites. It's up to East Lebatuck to move out of our way!"

Issue by Ransium
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

I think only the third name is random (the draft thread supports this). The first name I got was Venus, which is certainly related to astronomy, but that's probably a coincidence.

#755 is also already in the game, so watch out for that one. I'm looking forward to my giant weaponized robot-cat. (Though I suspect that's actually a "distract the public with fake secret projects to keep them from noticing the real ones" option.)

[The Candy Of Bottles]

The Issue

Outdoor survival expert @@ANIMAL@@ Grylls was being filmed in the latest edition of Man Vs Wilderness: Untamed, when he stumbled upon a top-secret military base that even you didn’t know about. Not only did he discover the clandestine base, but he also broke into it - alongside his entire media crew - thanks to his shrewd usage of camouflage and bottles of urine. TV-broadcasted footage inadvertently shows highly-sensitive and confidential projects in the background of many scenes. With this in mind, you have decided to venture into a dark, smelly room in an isolated wing of the government offices to call a covert meeting.

The Debate

1.) “There can be no mercy,” argues the gruff voice of the commander of the @@NAME@@ military, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “We must publicly execute Mr. Grylls and his crew. No exceptions. The government should send a message to the public! You must show them that the state will hound them relentlessly if they are caught snooping around. Double the guards, double their weapons, double everything!”

Accept

3.) “I, uh, I’m not so sure about the whole ‘no mercy’ thing,” stammers a handcuffed @@ANIMAL@@ Grylls, with a concerned look on his face. “I mean, it’s your own fault that we found it, right? If someone stumbles upon government secrets, y’should just let them wander on. Can I, uh, go now? I’ve gotta film an episode on those venomous pigeons by tomorrow.”

Accept

4.) “The solution is obvious,” claims military strategist @@RANDOMNAME@@. “All we have to do is come out with all of the information stored in that base - false, of course. Then, we come up with some good lies to convince the public that these secret systems are something else. Do you think we could pass these rockets off as a fireworks display?”

Accept

5.) “It’s all too much hassle,” sighs your Intelligence Minister, resting her head upon the meeting table. “You know what, King Sakub Anangåkïz? We should just tell them everything. No more secrets, no more hidden military projects. Release all of the government’s confidential information into the open, and let them do what they want with it. Maybe we could crowdsource some suggestions for our new underground projects?”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Noahs Second Country of Noahs Second Country

Edited by Helaw

Option 4 gives Purported secret military bases are dismissed by @@LEADER@@ to be highly-advanced toilet factories.

[Trotterdam]

Thanks for the diligence in checking for hidden options, but you forgot to post the name and number.

Did your nation abolish prisons? I don't see it mentioned on your nation page, but I believe that option 2 is a variant of option 1 for nations that do have prisons.

[The Candy Of Bottles]

Ah shoot. Well, I remember it's 755. Don't remember abolishing prisons.

[The Atlae Isles]

Ah shoot. Well, I remember it's 755. Don't remember abolishing prisons.

Can you go to Notices and see which one it was?

[United Provinces of Atlantica]

I'm not sure if the names of the first three characters (Sipho Hadfield, Arnold Nixon or Eve True) are random names or not, so someone who has also received the issue should say whether the characters' names were also Hadfield, Nixon or True, or whether they were different names.

#756 The Issue With Issues

The Issue

After an influx of poorly thought out, redundant, and otherwise trivial issues have been shoved across your desk, concern has been raised as to whether the government should start better regulating the issues you receive.

The Debate

“There must be an issue crack down!” bellows Sipho Hadfield, your personal secretary, while removing gum off his shoe. “If we don’t do something, pretty soon we’ll be getting issues that could have just as easily been dealt with the flip of a coin!” He pauses to discreetly move an old picture of your niece and her pet from your direct line of sight. “Let your staff take care of the frivolity so you can focus on the big stuff. In fact, if a government official passes on an issue that’s too trivial to you, fire them on the spot!”

You suddenly hear a shattering noise and find Arnold Nixon, your Advisor Of Trivial Matters, has broken through your office window. “Sorry about that, your office door was being fixed,” he apologies. “Anyway, an issues crackdown? Ha! Your window’s a trivial issue, yet you’ll probably be enlisting all of @@NAME@@'s government to replace it! I say, anyone who wants should be able to bring an issue directly to your attention! Then the people will feel like the government is a helpful organization working for them, not something big to fear! If that doesn’t work, I’ll even help fix your window!”

“There’s no need to go to either extreme,” ponders Eve True, an intern and amateur vuvuzela-player who was just practicing @@NAME@@’s national anthem outside your window. “I have a creative solution: we should create a rigorous, 34-tier color-coded system to evaluate how @@LEADER@@-worthy an issue is and you can work through the issue queue accordingly. The people with most urgent and important issue will get a faster response. Everybody wins!”

“It’s not the issues that you’ve got to watch out for, but the sorts of people that are giving you solutions,” volunteers the bee suit clad Dr. Bees, walking hand-and-hand into your office with the Bird Lady. “I can’t help but notice that some of the people who are giving you advice are a bit... odd. You just need to make sure that you’re properly vetting all your advisors, then the actual decisions making process will be a snap, no matter how trivial or important an issue is.”

Issue by The Democratic Republic of Maori Moon
Edited by Ransium

[Candlewhisper Archive]

As an informal announcement, just to let y'all know that #747 isn't part of The Enemy Within chain, but is a reserved slot that has been set aside for an issue edit in progress by another editor.

Various backstage factors will be delaying this edit, so don't expect Issue #747 for some time.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

As an informal announcement, just to let y'all know that #747 isn't part of The Enemy Within chain, but is a reserved slot that has been set aside for an issue edit in progress by another editor.

Various backstage factors will be delaying this edit, so don't expect Issue #747 for some time.

I wonder whether it is an airplane-related issue...

[Trotterdam]

#756 The Issue With Issues

Issues I detect a shout-out to:
#215 Easter Egg: What's Your Favourite Colour?
#276 Circus Clowns Cause Chaos!
#503 @@LEADER@@, Tear Down This Door!
#633 Sound Judgement (kinda)
#441 You've Got A Friend In Bee & #647 Songbirds' Decline Ruffles Feathers

The thing about the niece and her pet sounds like it's from some issue somewhere, but I don't remember which one and am too lazy to check.

[Ransium]

#756 The Issue With Issues

Issues I detect a shout-out to:
#215 Easter Egg: What's Your Favourite Colour?
#276 Circus Clowns Cause Chaos!
#503 @@LEADER@@, Tear Down This Door!
#633 Sound Judgement (kinda)
#441 You've Got A Friend In Bee & #647 Songbirds' Decline Ruffles Feathers

The thing about the niece and her pet sounds like it's from some issue somewhere, but I don't remember which one and am too lazy to check.

The incompleteness of this list makes me sad.

[Pee Pee Poodge]

I forgot to post here, but Candlewhisper Archive redirected me here with this:

Issue #261;
Third option doesn't match the one documented. (viewtopic.php?t=88#261)

“You’re not really going to listen to this nonsense, are you?” says Beyonce Suparman, Director of Plastic Production in East Pee Pee Poodge. “Do you know how integral plastic is to our national economy? How much damage it will do to associated industries? Our nation needs less environmental regulation, not more! Just say no to limits on our plastic bags, and while you’re at it loosen up environmental laws in general. We can’t afford to let decadent eco-imperialist ideas get in the way of Pee Pee Poodge’s production output.”

"You're not really going to listen to this nonsense, are you?" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of PlastiCorp Industries. "Do you know how much this will hurt the plastic industry? How many people I will need to lay off? How many @@CURRENCY@@s I - I mean, @@NAME@@ - will lose? Our economy needs less environmental regulation, not more! Just say no to limits on our plastic bags, and while you're at it loosen up environmental laws for corporations in general. We can't afford to let hippie ideas get in the way of @@NAME@@'s bottom line."

Missing fourth option.

Also, the documented Issue #202 also doesn't match the one given, as there are only three options. The fourth option is missing/does not exist.

[The Candy Of Bottles]

Ah shoot. Well, I remember it's 755. Don't remember abolishing prisons.

Can you go to Notices and see which one it was?

Afraid not- I have those notices turned off.

[Trotterdam]

#755 is called Candid Camera, and the second option is this:

2. "There can be no mercy," argues the gruff voice of the commander of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ military, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We must imprison Mr. Grylls and his crew for the rest of their lives. No exceptions. The government should send a message to the public! You must show them that the state will hound them relentlessly if they are caught snooping around. Double the guards, double their weapons, double everything!"

(Note that The Candy Of Bottles seemed to have made a mistake in the macros - I'm quite certaion I saw a demonym, not @@NAME@@.)

Okay, so there's one option for imprisonment and one for execution, and which you get depends on your nation. Both execution and prison are things that nations can choose to have or not have in other issues, so maybe the validity is whether you have execution rather than (or in addition to) whether you have prisons. What would happen if you abolished both execution and prisons? Does the issue give you an option to bring them back, or will you just not get the issue.

[Ransium]

Yep, we totally thought about what happens if there is no capital punishment and prisons. Totally.

[Australian rePublic]

The Issue With Issues

The Issue

After an influx of poorly thought out, redundant, and otherwise trivial issues have been shoved across your desk, concern has been raised as to whether the government should start better regulating the issues you receive.

The Debate

“There must be an issue crack down!” bellows Morty Wright, your personal secretary, while removing gum off his shoe. “If we don’t do something, pretty soon we’ll be getting issues that could have just as easily been dealt with by the flip of a coin!” He pauses to discreetly move an old picture of your niece and her pet from your direct line of sight. “Let your staff take care of the frivolity so you can focus on the big stuff. In fact, if a government official passes on an issue that’s too trivial to you, fire them on the spot!”

Accept

You suddenly hear a shattering noise and find Sydney Edwards, your Advisor Of Trivial Matters, has broken through your office window. “Sorry about that, your office door was being fixed,” she apologies. “Anyway, an issues crackdown? Ha! Your window’s a trivial issue, yet you’ll probably be enlisting all of Australian Republic’s government to replace it! I say, anyone who wants should be able to bring an issue directly to your attention! Then the people will feel like the government is a helpful organization working for them, not something big to fear! If that doesn’t work, I’ll even help fix your window!”

Accept

“There’s no need to go to either extreme,” ponders Bianca Looney, an intern and amateur vuvuzela-player who was just practicing Australian Republic’s national anthem outside your window. “I have a creative solution: we should create a rigorous, 34-tier color-coded system to evaluate how Steven Jot-worthy an issue is and you can work through the issue queue accordingly. The people with most urgent and important issue will get a faster response. Everybody wins!”

Accept

“It’s not the issues that you’ve got to watch out for, but the sorts of people that are giving you solutions,” volunteers the bee suit clad Dr. Bees, walking hand-and-hand into your office with the Bird Lady. “I can’t help but notice that some of the people who are giving you advice are a bit... odd. You just need to make sure that you’re properly vetting all your advisors, then the actual decisions making process will be a snap, no matter how trivial or important an issue is.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Democratic Republic of Maori Moon

Edited by Ransium

[Drasnia]

#754 The Hit Parade

The Issue

Two decommissioned satellites recently collided, the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ craft @@ANIMAL@@-4, and East Lebatuck's Sputnak-3. In the aftermath, scientists have become alarmed over the possibility of Kessler syndrome, a phenomenon where the density of debris in space becomes so high collisions can have a domino effect, causing further collisions and debris. Using crayons and peanut butter, your aides have drawn you a diagram to try to convince you that this positive feedback loop could ultimately destroy all low earth orbit satellites, making space travel impossible for generations.

The Debate

1. "I have a bad feeling about this," warns famously handsome astronaut, Lieutenant George Kloonalski. "It's the same feeling I once had on a space walk while repairing a satellite, and that did not end up going well. But I don't want to bore you with my space stories, the point is, reforms are desperately needed to make sure collisional cascading does not happen. You should make sure every satellite launched in @@NAME@@ has high standards of safety and planning, most importantly having a plan for satellite disposal at mission's end. Given the gravity of the situation, I think these steps are unavoidable."

2. "Taking unilateral action is futile if other space-faring nations do not also act in kind," remarks mediator Carey Fissinger, well known for space shuttle diplomacy. "We need to immediately launch an international space debris summit to assure that all nations, not just @@NAME@@, properly regulate launched satellites. Given the dependence of modern economies on satellites, we shouldn't be afraid to use trade sanctions and other forms of political pressure to persuade all nations to agree to global regulations."

3. "But East Lebatuck started it!" whines @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your more petulant advisers. "@@ANIMAL@@-4 was just fine until that stupid Sputnak-3 hit it. We shouldn't have to do anything other than tell the world where we're putting satellites. It's up to East Lebatuck to move out of our way!"

Issue by Ransium
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

I think only the third name is random (the draft thread supports this). The first name I got was Venus, which is certainly related to astronomy, but that's probably a coincidence.

#755 is also already in the game, so watch out for that one. I'm looking forward to my giant weaponized robot-cat. (Though I suspect that's actually a "distract the public with fake secret projects to keep them from noticing the real ones" option.)

Yup, can confirm only 3 is random.

[Pencil Sharpeners 2]

#756 The Issue With Issues

Issues I detect a shout-out to:
#215 Easter Egg: What's Your Favourite Colour?
#276 Circus Clowns Cause Chaos!
#503 @@LEADER@@, Tear Down This Door!
#633 Sound Judgement (kinda)
#441 You've Got A Friend In Bee & #647 Songbirds' Decline Ruffles Feathers

The thing about the niece and her pet sounds like it's from some issue somewhere, but I don't remember which one and am too lazy to check.

Also issues 689 (A Sticky Situation), 594 (Tie Fighters), 612 (A Petty Issue), and probably some more that I've missed.

[The Candy Of Bottles]

#755 is called Candid Camera, and the second option is this:

2. "There can be no mercy," argues the gruff voice of the commander of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ military, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We must imprison Mr. Grylls and his crew for the rest of their lives. No exceptions. The government should send a message to the public! You must show them that the state will hound them relentlessly if they are caught snooping around. Double the guards, double their weapons, double everything!"

(Note that The Candy Of Bottles seemed to have made a mistake in the macros - I'm quite certaion I saw a demonym, not @@NAME@@.)

Okay, so there's one option for imprisonment and one for execution, and which you get depends on your nation. Both execution and prison are things that nations can choose to have or not have in other issues, so maybe the validity is whether you have execution rather than (or in addition to) whether you have prisons. What would happen if you abolished both execution and prisons? Does the issue give you an option to bring them back, or will you just not get the issue.

No- I'm almost positive it was @@NAME@@. All my demonyms are variations on "Rainbow Pony", and I got "The Candy Of Bottles military. 99% sure.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

It is @@NAME@@.

[Australian rePublic]

Kangaroos Breed Contempt

The Issue

A legal battle is raging between the Australian Republic Department of Life, The Universe, and Environment and Kay Rumble Property Development Group. While surveying for a luxury condominium complex, a rare Kangaroo subspecies, the two-spotted glow-in-the-dark Kangaroo, was found traipsing around the proposed build site, potentially holding up construction.

The Debate

“I’m all for protecting truly endangered animals,” grumbles Imogen Kringle, the head of the housing firm, “but you can’t walk ten feet in Australian Republic without tripping over a Kangaroo. So what if these particular ones have a different spot on their underbellies or whatever? I’m trying to build houses for people – your people – and I keep running into red tape because of these damn hippies! We need to loosen these protection laws so I can get on with my job.”

Accept

“But the three-striped, er... or was it four-toed Kangaroo, is truly unique!” squeals Matt Roosevelt, a noted environmentalist, while nursing a baby Kangaroo. “This subspecies is rare enough without these greedy opportunists destroying the only habitat they have left. These poor darlings need our protection. If an endangered species, subspecies, or genetically diverse population has been spotted, no form of molestation or habitat destruction should be allowed.”

Accept

“With all due respect, you’re huffing and puffing over a truly simple matter,” chastens Siko Christianity, an amateur carpenter, while patting your shoulder gently. “We don’t need to drive these creatures nor land-development to extinction. If we require developers create new habitat to replace whatever endangered populations they destroy, then everybody wins, don’t they? I’m sure the two-spotted glow-in-the-dark Kangaroo will adapt just fine to their new, man-made habitats.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Reticulated Splines of Luna Amore

Edited by Ransium

[Trotterdam]

#073: @@NAME@@ - Without Cars, Going Nowhere Fast has four options now. The old first options is now the second option. Haven't actually seen the new first option, but that's from the source.

The first option of #073 is now this:

1. "The government was being utterly stupid in banning cars, especially at the whim of a bunch of nutjob, tree-hugging bicyclists!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of Coo' Stuff, Inc. "My workers are constantly late, they don't work as much because they have to leave early to walk or bike home... leaving this ban in place will only murder the economy!"

Since this is identical to the currently-listed option 1, I suspect that Shinuyama didn't look closely enough and option 2 is in fact different. I would expect it to be a communist equivalent, though Shinuyama is not currently a communist nation (private enterprise is legal, though economic freedom is still fairly low).

Alternatively there could be two options which read identically but have different effects, but that seems unlikely.

I can confirm that the old options 2 and 3 have been renumbered to 3 and 4.

[Trotterdam]

#757 Extra Credit?

The Issue

A series of cases of mistaken identity from the credit bureau Expertfaux recently culminated in your young cousin receiving a deluge of petitions from aggrieved citizens. Frustrated @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@, who are beginning to doubt their own names, have called the efficacy and necessity of modern credit bureaus into question.

The Debate

1. "These people have no credibility!" protests @@RANDOMNAME@@, littering your desk with the shredded ruins of @@HIS/HER@@ credit report. "Incompetent credit bureaus' background checks labeled Mr. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as a criminal and Ms. @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ as deceased. Besides, any attempt to boil down my life into a single number will fall short of doing me justice. Credit bureaus need more oversight, so they can't come between hardworking @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ and the loans we need!"

2. "These were minor mishaps," claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a representative from Expertfaux, who appears to be addressing a government accountant instead of you. "Lenders, landlords, and even employers need our services to weed out undeserving clients. Imagine if companies didn't know who in the blue they were lending to! Credit bureaus must be allowed to self-regulate without government interference. The future of our wallets depends on it!"

3. "Doing background checks one at a time is so inefficient," muses the accountant in question, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Why not put credit regulation under government control, and research people's financial history in advance? That way anybody can access our database at any time. I'm sure the police would love to have a record of major transactions and movements too."

Issue by Kingdom of jacobia
Edited by Zwangzug

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

#758: Bye Bye to the Birdies?

The Issue

After Smalltopian journalists reporting on recent protein powder trade negotiations penned more articles on @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government buildings covered in bird droppings than international commerce, questions have been raised as to whether @@NAME@@’s “pigeon problem” has gotten out of control.

The Debate

1. “Get these damned flying rats off me!” yells @@RANDOMNAME@@ Hitchcock, a member of the @@CAPITAL@@ Beautification Council, desperately trying to wave away the pigeons pecking at @@HIM@@. “These vermin are everywhere, defecating on us, spreading disease and damaging bronze and marble with their caustic droppings. It’s all happening because a bunch of nutjobs are feeding them to feel good about themselves. @@LEADER@@, ban pigeon-feeding immediately, so we may be free of this feathered pestilence!”

2. “This is their city as much as it is ours,’’ sings your childhood nanny Miriam Poppout, while staring at a snow globe with unsettling intensity. “You can’t let these beautiful creatures die! We should embrace bird feeding. @@CAPITAL@@ will become known as ‘The City of a Million Pigeons’ and tourists will flock from across the world to see the birds and feed them at only two @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ a bag.”

3. “I can’t see what the fuss is about,” chimes in B.F. Spinner, a spokesperson of the @@CAPITAL@@ Ornithological Society. “Ask any illusionist or postman you know: pigeons are highly trainable animals. If the problem is that they are pooping around, they can simply be given potty training. Just put small toilet bowls at designated spots in the city, equipped with a food dispenser that gives food pellets when a pigeon poops there. The pooping behavior will thus be positively reinforced and voila! - the next time the pigeon will go to the toilet bowl when it needs to poop. Problem solved!”

Author: The Democratic Island Federation of Frieden-und Freudenland
Editor: Ransium

Yay! My second issue to be accepted

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Don't expect it to be your last one. You're a good author.

[Trotterdam]

It appears that "your driver, young Walter Lee" in #740 is nonrandom, while the other character names are random.

Unfortunately I didn't think to check for any other changes when I got it because I hadn't seen this post yet.