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by North Americorp » Sun Apr 09, 2017 12:36 pm
by Luna Amore » Sun Apr 09, 2017 12:51 pm
North Americorp wrote:Barely worth mentioning, but the issue 587 (I, Robot, Do Solemnly Swear) is also up to six options from four. This nation got no new ones. Options 1, 3, 4, 6 are identical to the old 1-4 (in the same order). No idea what the alternate text would be, and for which options. Nothing commie-related, as far as I can see.
by Pterodoria » Sun Apr 09, 2017 1:44 pm
The Issue
A junior filing clerk at the Ministry of Commerce and Revenues has just reported a highly unusual request: the Addison Cola Corporation has filed paperwork in an attempt to switch its legal status to “religion,” a tax-exempt category.
The Debate
1. “Of course business can be a religion,” claims Addison CEO Reginald Licorish, who was brought to your office to provide an explanation. “Many of our customers share a deeply-held belief that our product brings them enlightenment and inner peace, unlike the foul devil drink produced by those sinners over at Eckie-Ecola. Addison Cola also provides salvation from artificial sweeteners, with a blessedly refreshing taste! The government really shouldn’t be regulating these beliefs. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get my best people to start writing some prayers.” He then takes out his phone and presses option 6 on the speed dial menu.
2. “This is just a mockery of everything that good and decent people stand for,” harrumphs High Priest Otohime Scrooge, who was called in to provide a counterpoint. “Real religions have ancient scriptures, sacred music, and a code of morality to tell people how to behave. I hardly think advertising jingles qualify! This is nothing more than a blatant ploy by Addison to get tax-exempt status. The only way to return our great nation to a more righteous path is to deny their blasphemous request and allocate some government funds to prop up legitimate religions.”
3. “I knew that weird pizza cult was just the start of something far worse,” says Wojciech Baldwin, your trusted Chief of Staff. “If we allow this, every corporation will want to become a religion! You know this is going to kill our tax revenue.” He sighs audibly. “The only fair solution is to outlaw all new religions, with harsh penalties for any of the rabble-rousers who try to break the law. I hear crucifixions are quite the effective deterrent.”
Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria
Edited by Pogaria
by Pterodoria » Sun Apr 09, 2017 2:12 pm
by Trotterdam » Sun Apr 09, 2017 5:04 pm
Leaving off the "Issue" could have given you the room for that. What else do we discuss in this thread?Pterodoria wrote:Changed it. The title also was truncated even more than it was in the preview (where it only cut off the letter 's'), so there's 'taxes' missing at the end.
Yeah, real good track record for preventing people from founding religions, that"I hear crucifixions are quite the effective deterrent."
I'm surprised it took this long. The Cult of Pizza can't be that unpopular, especially since in the original it's presented as the pro-freedom option ("mixed platter of faiths") rather than specifically promoting that one cult.Pogaria wrote:Hey, someone finally found it!
by Drasnia » Sun Apr 09, 2017 5:36 pm
Trotterdam wrote:Leaving off the "Issue" could have given you the room for that. What else do we discuss in this thread?Pterodoria wrote:Changed it. The title also was truncated even more than it was in the preview (where it only cut off the letter 's'), so there's 'taxes' missing at the end.
Or, you know, putting the title in the main post.
by Trotterdam » Sun Apr 09, 2017 6:07 pm
by Caracasus » Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:46 am
Trotterdam wrote:We still need #691, which I think is a communist-only issue.
We really need more communist nations to catch all this new stuff.
by Copercia » Mon Apr 10, 2017 3:28 am
The Issue
After an economic report from the Treasury revealed that the productivity of the country’s serfs is at an all-time low, a delegation from the disgruntled nobility has barged into your office proposing solutions to the problem at hand.
The Debate
1. “Clearly, serfdom as a system is not working,” opines the infamous Duke of Copercia City, as his disaffected serf painstakingly peels grapes at his side. “But you know what system does work? Slavery. Think about it. You don’t need to give them any rights whatsoever, they can be bought as children and sold as adults for a massive profit, and if they misbehave or rebel, we simply kill them. Besides, slavery has been going on for centuries. One could even say it’s the natural order of things.”
2. “The problem is us, not the system,” remarks Lady Verisimilitude as she anxiously glances over the Treasury’s figures again. “We’ve been far too harsh with our serfs by constantly trading and moving them between our various estates all while working them to the grave. With the government’s supervision and some new regulations, we could more effectively maintain the serfs’ produc... I mean, health by ensuring they have access to water breaks, family visits, and maybe even a tribunal where they can lodge complaints.”
3. “Supervision? Regulations? What socialist nonsense is this?!” exclaims the overweight Marquis de Marzipan while twirling his sugar-coated mustache. “It is our ancient right to own serfs and have them work our lands however we dictate! It says so right in the constitution! Somewhere... I’m sure of it. Anyway, the point is, don’t take my serfs away! Instead, why don’t you just give us a tax break so we can afford to survive this current stint of unproductivity. The last thing my serfs want to see is their beloved master suffering like a mere peasant!”
4. “Feudalism is an archaic and draconian custom that mars our fair land in the cruelest tyranny,” asserts the Duke’s surprisingly erudite serf, while purposefully knocking over a bowl of freshly-peeled grapes onto her stunned lord’s lap. “We are Copercian just as much as you, and as such we demand our freedom as any other self-respecting Copercian would. It’s time you got rid of this medieval, barbaric practice—and revoke all aristocratic titles while you’re at it! That’ll make us all equal then.”
Issue by The Crowned Commonwealth of Nuremgard
Edited by Wyethalania
by Gages Icelandic Army » Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:29 am
by Bears Armed » Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:32 am
Gages Icelandic Army wrote:Easter Egg: Should We Pull The Lever?
Which option do I pick to get the easter egg? And what did I do to get this issue?
by Gages Icelandic Army » Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:35 am
Bears Armed wrote:Gages Icelandic Army wrote:Easter Egg: Should We Pull The Lever?
Which option do I pick to get the easter egg? And what did I do to get this issue?
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=193229&hilit=easter+eggs
by Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Apr 10, 2017 12:37 pm
by Drachmaland » Mon Apr 10, 2017 2:38 pm
by Australian rePublic » Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:39 pm
by Drachmaland » Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:38 pm
by The Candy Of Bottles » Thu Apr 13, 2017 6:27 am
by Drasnia » Thu Apr 13, 2017 3:57 pm
by Australian rePublic » Thu Apr 13, 2017 4:43 pm
by Tinhampton » Sat Apr 15, 2017 3:42 am
by Pencil Sharpeners » Sat Apr 15, 2017 10:47 am
The Issue
Tragedy struck Pencilpolis when a cyclist was killed by a transport truck, making this the thirteenth such incident in the past few weeks. This has propelled activists to peddle the idea of creating additional bike lanes in Pencil Sharpeners’s cities.
The Debate
1. “What do we want? Bike lanes! When do we want them? Now!” chants cyclist Alexei Case, five-time winner of the Tour de Pencil Sharpeners competition. “Many of us in the big cities rely on our bikes to go about our daily business. If anything, more cyclists on the streets will mean fewer cars, and that means less congestion. Less congestion means less pollution, and that makes everyone healthier in the long run. It may be more inconvenient for the motorists, but if they don’t like it, they can go honk themselves.”
2. “Haven’t these road hogs heard of a sidewalk?” wheezes decidedly unhealthy city councilor Ella Hume, whose son was behind the wheel of the truck. “Bike lanes are like swimming with the sharks - sooner or later you’re going to get bitten. Roads are built for buses, cars, and trucks, not for people on bikes. Bike lanes are dangerous and expensive to maintain. We ought to stop them and paint over existing ones before more people are killed and we end up like Dàguó.”
3. “I agree with the councilor with the... obvious health issues,” chimes in an auto industry lobbyist while playing with your nephew’s toy cars. “People are sick of these damn cyclists who think they own the roads. It’s their own fault that they end up hurt or killed. What if people had to pass a test before being allowed to ride a bike, like we do with cars? This will mean there are fewer idiot cyclists who think they’re invincible. That, my friend, is what will make our cities safer.”
4. “What if bikes were the only way people went about their commute?” suggests the leader of the Viva la Pedalution! advocacy group. “Let’s face it, these incidents are going to keep on happening because of these selfish and incompetent motorists. Riding a bike is much healthier and far less dangerous. The government needs to declare Pencil Sharpeners a ‘car-free zone’ and completely redesign urban planning to accommodate cyclists. Short-term complications, yes, but long-term gains!”
Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec
Edited by Nation of Quebec
by Drachmaland » Sun Apr 16, 2017 6:10 pm
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