NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I'm thinking that it's unavailable to nations with digital currency. Since they have no cash bills.

Am surprised that the editors actually thought of that.

Yep. Be surprised no more.

[Pallidonia]

The Issue

Earlier this week, you were supposed to meet with the Pallidonian Paralympic Team after their impressive medal haul. However, your office proved to be inaccessible to the athletes and the meeting was cancelled. Disability awareness groups are outraged that those with impairments can’t access government buildings, many of which provide them the help and support they need.

The Debate

1. “We must put an end to the discrimination against people with disabilities,” declares Joseph Quagmire, the spokesperson of the awareness group All Access, through a speech synthesizer. “Many of us face great difficulty in climbing steps, reading text, or listening to auditory sources or conveying messages. The government must improve the accessibility to premises and information so that we are treated fairly and have the ability to contribute to society.”

2. “It might sound nice to have more ramps and guide dogs, but the real problem isn’t infrastructure, it’s society’s treatment of the intellectually and physically disadvantaged,” observes Beverly Steele, a concerned parent. “If people had stopped to open doors, and to help the disabled athletes up the steps, then we wouldn’t need special adaptations to the buildings. Kindness and helpfulness should be taught at school, with kids learning to assist those who need help and to stop bullying them because they’re different. That’s the way to go forward.”

3. “Hold on a minute! Making modifications to historic government buildings is cultural vandalism and awfully expensive!” objects Themba Bergman, your rather obsessive Minister of Pallidonian Heritage. “We can’t destroy centuries’ worth of history and deface the structures with modern architecture just to improve accessibility! I sympathize with these people’s plight, but our culture and history are too important to destroy!”

Issue by The UM Parliamentary Republic of Singapore no2

Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Drasnia]

#655: No Bones About It with Luna's corrections

The Issue

A group of religious fanatics have broken into the @@CAPITAL@@ Natural History Museum and destroyed a 75 million-year-old Gorgosaurus skeleton - the only one of its kind in @@NAME@@.

The Debate

“Those maniacs! They blew it all up! Damn them!” wails Dr. Alana Grant, pop-palaeontologist and author of the dubiously-researched Tyrannosaurs of the Jurassic, falling to her knees in horror. “Skeletons like this one provide rare and valuable insight about the history of life on our planet. We must do everything we can to stop these fools from destroying important scientific artifacts! Fortify and defend our museums, by violent means if necessary!”

Dr Maurice Zaius, self proclaimed defender of the faith, slams his religion’s holy scrolls down on your desk, smashing your collection of rare ammonites. “These devout believers were doing the work of the Divine! These demon-lizards are fakes, from the depths of damnation! They are fabrications, to promote the ungodly theory that I call EVIL-lution. We should shut down these houses of lies that call themselves museums, and instead create temples that teach only Holy Truth. Sic semper tyrannosaurus!”

Mathematician Lucy Wu, wearing a #notallpriests T-shirt has the decency to look embarrassed by the previous speaker. “I’m thinking the underlying problem here is that followers of science and religion are always taught to be adversarial to each other. Couldn’t we address that instead, with government-sponsored Faith Academies reconciling the scientific method with theological debate? Many of the greatest advancements were historically made by faith-led nations. Shall we see if we can join them?”

“I’m kind of not seeing the big deal here,” says dino-wrangler Ewen Grady, riding an impressively large and flatulent Pentaceratops into your presence. “I mean, it’s just a theropod skeleton. We got a few living and breathing theros, including some of this species. Tell you what, boss, I’ll donate the museum some new bones, and in return maybe you can subsidise our Apatosaurus ranch?”

Issue by The Republic of ProPublica

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

EDIT: Added link

[Tinhampton]

Issue #657: Judas Benedict is predictably fixed; the name of the independent politician in Option 3 is not (@@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@).

[Singapore no2]

The Issue

Earlier this week, you were supposed to meet with the Pallidonian Paralympic Team after their impressive medal haul. However, your office proved to be inaccessible to the athletes and the meeting was cancelled. Disability awareness groups are outraged that those with impairments can’t access government buildings, many of which provide them the help and support they need.

The Debate

1. “We must put an end to the discrimination against people with disabilities,” declares Joseph Quagmire, the spokesperson of the awareness group All Access, through a speech synthesizer. “Many of us face great difficulty in climbing steps, reading text, or listening to auditory sources or conveying messages. The government must improve the accessibility to premises and information so that we are treated fairly and have the ability to contribute to society.”

2. “It might sound nice to have more ramps and guide dogs, but the real problem isn’t infrastructure, it’s society’s treatment of the intellectually and physically disadvantaged,” observes Beverly Steele, a concerned parent. “If people had stopped to open doors, and to help the disabled athletes up the steps, then we wouldn’t need special adaptations to the buildings. Kindness and helpfulness should be taught at school, with kids learning to assist those who need help and to stop bullying them because they’re different. That’s the way to go forward.”

3. “Hold on a minute! Making modifications to historic government buildings is cultural vandalism and awfully expensive!” objects Themba Bergman, your rather obsessive Minister of Pallidonian Heritage. “We can’t destroy centuries’ worth of history and deface the structures with modern architecture just to improve accessibility! I sympathize with these people’s plight, but our culture and history are too important to destroy!”

Issue by The UM Parliamentary Republic of Singapore no2

Edited by Nation of Quebec

=D Thanks!

[Outer Sparta]

Issue #573 is now logged as being edited by both NoQ and A Humanist Science. I have but this to say: "Holy crap... AHS is an editor now?"

That was eagle-eyed of you.

He was invited to the team, and did a trial edit, but RL got in the way of him taking it up full time. NoQ finished the edit, but it was agreed he'd retain credit for his work.

AHS is sadly not currently on the editing team, but we hope he'll come join us when he's ready.

Unfortunately, that nation CTE'd. It's a shame when editors or promising writers are inactive for so long and their nation is gone, unless if they come back, of course.

[United Massachusetts]

Let's pause to applaud Christian Democrats for maintaining this.

[Drasnia]

That was eagle-eyed of you.

He was invited to the team, and did a trial edit, but RL got in the way of him taking it up full time. NoQ finished the edit, but it was agreed he'd retain credit for his work.

AHS is sadly not currently on the editing team, but we hope he'll come join us when he's ready.

Unfortunately, that nation CTE'd. It's a shame when editors or promising writers are inactive for so long and their nation is gone, unless if they come back, of course.

Aye he did. Iirc he said he was busy with rl. I wish him the best. He was a great writer and easy to get along with.

[Thinking Machines]

I give you, Issue number 660:

Are We Being Served?
The Issue

A broad survey of retail customers conducted across @@NAME@@ has revealed increasingly dismay with shoddy customer service, with especial complaints about staff being rude and unhelpful. One leisurely morning you decide to go undercover, to collect opinions from staff in one of the nation’s largest department stores: Greys Brothers.
The Debate

The elevator opens at the Lady’s and Gentlemen’s Department, and the floor manager - sporting a red carnation and identifying himself as Major Gary Kraken - pushes you his views on you. “Poor service? Blame the imbeciles who work here, the counter staff. They have had no proper education, many did not even graduate from university, let alone serve time in the military, like I did, heroically, in the Great Brasilistani War. If you want quality service to flourish, then compulsory military service will teach respect to these scallywags!”

After you extricate yourself, you engage in a brief chat with two floor staff who are just returning from their mid-morning coffee break, Betty Sugden and Wilberforce Inman. “The reason we’re unhappy,” declares Mrs. Sugden, “is because we are constantly late due to overcrowded buses and trains! Even if I’m one second late, I get told off for it! Is it any wonder that I’m so wound up that I snap at people? I’m so upset when I get home that I end up being mean to my poor pussy!” After an awkward pause, Mr. Inman interjects. “She means her cat. But she’s right! With lives as hard as ours, it is any wonder that men swear? You should provide more transport, so that there’s always an empty seat calling out ’I’m freeeee!’ on the buses!”

As you make your way towards the elevator to leave, you are approached and then harangued by the elderly and curmudgeonly head of the Gent’s section, a Mr. Ernest Stranger, and you briefly explain the reason for your visit. “Rude? RUDE? Who says we’re rude! Get me a glass of water Mr. Inman!” He collapses into a chair. “I’ve been serving for over 35 years, I damn well don’t need any advice on how to treat customers! In fact, if these customers don’t meet my standards, I should have the right to refuse to serve them, full stop - make it law! Now since you’re not going to buy anything, you’ll excuse me, I have to go put in my afternoon set of teeth.”

Issue by The Most Ancient and Noble House of Lancaster of Wessex

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Trotterdam]

serve time in the military, like I did, heroically, in the Great Brasilistani War

Question: Did the nation on which you got this issue actually play the Brasilistan chain? Can you tell (by the numbers in the source code) if there are any hidden options?

Also, be advised of some corrections that might be getting made soon...

[Noahs Second Country]

661: Scouting For Boys, Girls... Anyone?
The Issue

The second best Scouts, a volunteer youth group that teaches boys and girls outdoor survival skills, are reporting sharply declining numbers. The organization’s annual meet was attended by just seven and a half Scouts (as there was an unfortunate accident involving a canoe made out of recycled soup cans). Some within the community are urging the government to help revive interest in outdoor pursuits among young people.

The Debate

“Dear Leader, we humbly beg your favor!” is spelled out in woodcraft sign language on a poster decorated with pictures of tents, trees, and wild second best animals. The Scout who brought the poster into your office begins to explain, “Scouting has really suffered from a lack of state support. We give back to the community, learn valuable life skills, and get to socialize with other young people, all in the spirit of second best patriotism. And with some government funding, maybe we could afford some slightly less frayed guide ropes for our climbing wall?”

Accept

“Scouting is a hobby, nothing more,” grumbles notoriously second best currency-pinching auditor Kathleen Silk. “What’s next, are we going to start giving subsidies to model aircraft building clubs? Knitting circles? Mustache enthusiasts? Treasury funds are for essential projects only. If the Scouts can’t get by without state support, then they should go out of business like any other private organization would.”

Accept

“You’re talking about ending a tradition of Scouting that goes back more than a century!” complains Brian Ruff, a military historian who has won several awards for exceptionally dry accounts of dramatic battles. “I got my start in fieldcraft as a Scout, just like many of our nation’s greatest heroes. The young people of today don’t know what they’re missing out on. In fact, maybe if you forced them all to join the Scouts, they’d soon see what fun it was!”

Accept

“All this tradition stuff is exactly why kids aren’t interested in Scouting anymore,” snarks your appallingly cynical niece, who only looks up from her phone to roll her eyes. “What use are badges for campfire building and map reading when we have central heating and GPS? If Scouting taught some more modern skills, maybe you’d have more young people interested.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Banner Hunters of Golgothastan

Edited by Lenyo

[Trotterdam]

661: Scouting For Boys, Girls... Anyone?

Lemme look at your nation...

@@DEMONYMNOUN@@: "second best person"
@@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@: "second best people"
@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@: "second best"
@@CITY@@: "second best capital city"
@@CURRENCY@@: "second best currency"
@@ANIMAL@@: "second best animal"

Yeah, I cannot see how this could possibly lead to any confusion in parsing your issue.

[Noahs Second Country]

661: Scouting For Boys, Girls... Anyone?

Lemme look at your nation...

@@DEMONYMNOUN@@: "second best person"
@@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@: "second best people"
@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@: "second best"
@@CITY@@: "second best capital city"
@@CURRENCY@@: "second best currency"
@@ANIMAL@@: "second best animal"

Yeah, I cannot see how this could possibly lead to any confusion in parsing your issue.

Sorry. Had no time to do anything with the macros.

[Pallidonia]

The corrected version of 660 with the option numbers.

The Issue

A broad survey of retail customers conducted across Pallidonia has revealed increasing dismay with shoddy customer service, with especial complaints about staff being rude and unhelpful. One leisurely morning you decide to go undercover, to collect opinions from staff in one of the nation’s largest department stores: Greys Brothers.

The Debate

1. The elevator opens at the Ladies and Gentlemen’s Department, and the floor manager - sporting a red carnation and identifying himself as Major Jake Dollar - pushes his views on you. “Poor service? Blame the imbeciles who work here, the counter staff. They have had no proper education, many did not even graduate from university, let alone serve time in the military, like I did, heroically, in the Great Brasilistani War. If you want quality service to flourish, then compulsory military service will teach respect to these scallywags!”

2. After you extricate yourself, you engage in a brief chat with two floor staff who are just returning from their mid-morning coffee break, Betty Sugden and Wilberforce Inman. “The reason we’re unhappy,” declares Mrs. Sugden, “is because we are constantly late due to overcrowded buses and trains! Even if I’m one second late, I get told off for it! Is it any wonder that I’m so wound up that I snap at people? I’m so upset when I get home that I end up being mean to my poor pussy!” After an awkward pause, Mr. Inman interjects. “She means her cat. But she’s right! With lives as hard as ours, it is any wonder that men swear? You should provide more transport, so that there’s always an empty seat calling out ’I’m freeeee!’ on the buses!”

3. As you make your way towards the elevator to leave, you are approached and then harangued by the elderly and curmudgeonly head of the Gents section, a Mr. Ernest Stranger, and you briefly explain the reason for your visit. “Rude? RUDE? Who says we’re rude! Get me a glass of water Mr. Inman!” He collapses into a chair. “I’ve been serving for over 35 years, I damn well don’t need any advice on how to treat customers! In fact, if these customers don’t meet my standards, I should have the right to refuse to serve them, full stop - make it law! Now since you’re not going to buy anything, you’ll excuse me, I have to go put in my afternoon set of teeth.”

Issue by The Most Ancient and Noble House of Lancaster of Wessex

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Maljaratas]

serve time in the military, like I did, heroically, in the Great Brasilistani War

Question: Did the nation on which you got this issue actually play the Brasilistan chain? Can you tell (by the numbers in the source code) if there are any hidden options?

Also, be advised of some corrections that might be getting made soon...

That nation has never received the chain as far as I can remember. Checking source code would be under view page source, correct? (I have Firefox)

[Trotterdam]

That nation has never received the chain as far as I can remember. Checking source code would be under view page source, correct? (I have Firefox)

Yes, and you need to look for the parts where it says "name="choice-0"", "name="choice-1"", etc. Of course, you need to still have the issue to do this - if you've already answered or dismissed it, we'll need to wait for someone else to receive it and check.

I also suspect an unreported option on #661 that involves the Scouts getting corporate sponsorship. That would be a totally new option, while #660 has at best two minor variations of the same option (and it's quite possible that it doesn't).

[Drasnia]

That nation has never received the chain as far as I can remember. Checking source code would be under view page source, correct? (I have Firefox)

Yes, and you need to look for the parts where it says "name="choice-0"", "name="choice-1"", etc. Of course, you need to still have the issue to do this - if you've already answered or dismissed it, we'll need to wait for someone else to receive it and check.

I also suspect an unreported option on #661 that involves the Scouts getting corporate sponsorship. That would be a totally new option, while #660 has at best two minor variations of the same option (and it's quite possible that it doesn't).

I just received #661. If there's another option, it will be at the end. I checked the page source and the options were listed 0-3.

[Drawkland]

Yes, and you need to look for the parts where it says "name="choice-0"", "name="choice-1"", etc. Of course, you need to still have the issue to do this - if you've already answered or dismissed it, we'll need to wait for someone else to receive it and check.

I also suspect an unreported option on #661 that involves the Scouts getting corporate sponsorship. That would be a totally new option, while #660 has at best two minor variations of the same option (and it's quite possible that it doesn't).

I just received #661. If there's another option, it will be at the end. I checked the page source and the options were listed 0-3.

I no longer have the issue but I can confirm it had an option on corporate sponsorship.

[Drasnia]

Reading through one of the issues when I noticed a mistake. on Word Assembly Woes in the last option, change Rob the Insane to @@LEADER@@

[Christian Democrats]

Reading through one of the issues when I noticed a mistake. on Word Assembly Woes in the last option, change Rob the Insane to @@LEADER@@

That was before my time. I made the change.

Right now, I've been updating the issues on my computer. I'll copy and paste them over when I'm done.

[Conoistre]

Fifth option for #661 Scouting For Boys, Girls... Anyone?:

5. “If it’s just a matter of money, then perhaps I can be of assistance?” oozes industrial magnate Kanya Yeats, looking up from an Ayn Bland e-book. “My firm has offered to sponsor the Scouts before, but unfortunately those pesky child safety laws have prevented us from offering them a truly rounded experience. What youngster wouldn’t love the chance to go sailing in a MaxCorp-branded dinghy, or hiking in a pair of new Zephyr Holdings-sponsored walking boots! Or even gain a little practical experience and valuable life training volunteering at our steel mills?”

[Drasnia]

Ah, that's why I didn't get it on my nation - it requires having child labor laws.

[Tarbellville]

Issue 662, Playful Petitions Pester Politicians

The Issue

A petition calling for you to wear nothing but swimming attire and a top hat during speeches and public events was discussed in detail by the government, including a fierce debate on which colours would suit you best. After updating your wardrobe, and feeling angry and somewhat embarrassed, you called for a meeting with your advisers to discuss how ridiculous petitions seem to have become.

The Debate

“Your fashion choices aside, these petitions are getting out of hand,” claims a rather stressed-out aide after taking a nap on a mountain of petitions. “Not a day passes without me being inundated with senseless petitions, like asking us to ban breathing or to add whale surfing to the national curriculum. We should introduce petition curators to make sure that only the legitimate petitions make it through; they’ll cut out the... less desirable ones.”

Accept

“Why waste time with petitions anyway?” tuts one of your top staffers while absentmindedly shredding a petition to construct something called a ‘Death Star’. “These petitions are a waste of everyone’s time, and we’d be better off ignoring them. It’s not like their opinions matter. We shouldn’t concern ourselves with what - for instance - people think our public buildings should look like. Seriously, banana-shaped offices?”

Accept

“People have the right to sign some paper and complain about how things are being run,” presses one of your more eager assistants, who dreams of becoming a politician one day. “It doesn’t matter how ridiculous a petition may seem; it should be looked at in detail to see if it has merit, even if that requires extra work for us. There must be something useful to be found within them, surely...”

Accept

“I think this petition makes a very important point,” argues your Minister of Making Things Look Good, who also happens to be your personal hairstylist. “You could really do with a makeover! Everyone knows that your approval ratings would absolutely skyrocket, and that your speeches would have a new lease of life to them. After all, if a petition calls for you to change your appearance, then obviously people think you’d look better that way.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Technocratic Hexarchy of Helaw

Edited by Nation of Quebec

No additional options as far as I can tell.
(Puppet of The Candy Of Bottles)

[Askatopia]

The Issue

The aggressive nation of Blackacre has been struck with a series of massive natural disasters that have killed tens of thousands and destroyed sanitation, transit, and economic infrastructure, with the likely consequence of great suffering for millions in the coming months. This has presented you with the moral quandary of whether or not you should come to the aid of a nation that has frequently declared its hatred for Askatopia and the Disposable way of life.

The Debate

1. “Well, it serves them darn well right!” shouts your infuriated Minister of Defense, furiously kicking your expensive imported mahogany desk and sending your papers flying. “An eye for an eye, I say! They insulted us multiple times, and they got what they deserved. As a matter of fact, now is the perfect time to truly pay them back for their slander of our great nation! They want aid? How about we aid them by sending some missiles aimed right at their capital? That’ll show them!”

2. “Not that I don’t agree with Mr. Compassionate over here, but that particular method only seems to stir up unwanted trouble,” notes Aphrodite Lincoln, Askatopia’s top chess master and military strategist. “Frankly, there’s a much better way of making our point without causing so much international outcry. Why not provide them aid, but so much of it that they become dependent on us for survival? Flood them with food, but do nothing to help their farmers. Supply them with power, but don’t build power infrastructure. Then, when they’ve lost any capacity to support themselves, start charging them! We can look good internationally while secretly waging war against their economy.”

3. “It’s just too much effort these days to try to take over another country,” sighs Sheldon Ho, former soldier and current aide to the Minister of Foreign Affairs. “For that matter, it’s too much effort to even provide aid when we have so much to focus on here. Crime, poverty, resources, and all that. It’s a shame what’s happened, but we aren’t the only nation in the world. Let’s cut all aid. There’s probably some other nation that’ll be foolish enough to help them out, anyway.”

4. “Regardless of what Blackacre’s government’s actions have been in the past, there are millions of innocent civilians who are going to be harmed or even killed,” suggests your secretary while cleaning the mess of papers off your desk. “How would you feel if you were homeless and hungry, and others turned a blind eye? This is a humanitarian disaster. We need to send aid and do whatever we can to help. Helping them is the moral thing to do, and that’s all there is to it.”

Issue by The Allied States of Empire of Cats

Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Australian rePublic]

Your Land Or Mine

The Issue

A large aluminium deposit has been found at Kangaroo Hills, a remote area in Australian Republic. The Environmental Agency is being unusually easy-going, citing minimal potential ecological impact and approving mining to go ahead. Only one obstacle exists - the deposit is right in the middle of a sacred area of the indigenous Pangaoaoangan tribe.

The Debate

“Did you know that aluminium is the second most commonly used metal in our economy, after steel?” quizzes aluminium afficionado and bauxite buff Ali Garcia, pointing to an ‘Ask Me About Electrolysis’ pin-badge proudly displayed on an ironed lapel. “This high quality deposit is a gold mine! Not literally of course, I’m just ‘funning’ with you. We’re talking minimal tailings, starting at just minus 100 metres! Isn’t that exciting? Oh my goodness, there’s so much we can do when we have aluminium! Why hesitate?”

Accept“Steven Jot, you must see it from our side,” insists Elsa English, a tribal elder wearing a sharp business suit and a worker’s hard hat. “Pullabooka - or as you call it - the Kangaroo Hills, belongs to my people. You cut into it, and you’re not just profaning a holy site, you’re cutting us out of your society! Look, we’re not blind to your economic needs: if you want to mine your metal, why not start seventy miles to the north instead, across that river canyon, then tunnel your way across to the deep deposits? A thousand generations of my ancestors are watching you, Steven Jot. Do the right thing!”

Accept“That sounds kind of expensive... bit of a dealbreaker if we can’t turn a profit,” muses Commodus Wolowitz, a spokesperson from Canberra Mining Company’s Corporate Social Responsibility arm. “Look, we don’t need to convince ALL the locals. Let’s just convince the tribal council. They get a healthy inducement fee, say half from you and half from our company, and they can sign whatever papers we need to cover us from future legal challenges. I think, after all, money talks!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Federation of Australian Republic

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive