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by Aifur » Sun Nov 06, 2016 1:58 am
by Tinhampton » Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:04 am
by Australian rePublic » Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:58 am
by The Candy Of Bottles » Sun Nov 06, 2016 12:42 pm
<div class="dpaper4"><p>Dismissal Denied!</div>
<img src="/images/newspaper/dpaper5.jpg" class="dpaperslice">
</div>
<div id="dilemma">
<div class="dilemma"><h5>The Issue</h5>
<p>After a recent petition to lower Grindstone’s infamous “Reading Tax” was found in a dumpster, debate has sparked over the government’s abuse of veto powers.</p>
<form method="POST" action="/page=enact_dilemma/dilemma=568"><h5>The Debate</h5>
<ol class="diloptions"><li><p>“42, my foot!” protests aspiring revolutionary Nomfundo al-Zahawi. “If you aren’t going to listen to the people, at least be honest about it. Go ahead! Try your little mad grab for power, Leader! The people dare you!”
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-0" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>“Don’t let these warmongers bait you!” cautions your trusted adviser, Stephanie Le Chiffre. “Obviously, we can’t just eliminate your veto power, but what if you just made a super sincere promise to use more restraint with it? That might satisfy the angry mobs.”
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<li><p>“But some of these proposals make my head spin,” opines Grindstone City Senator Wil Hackett. “Who would really blame us for dismissing a petition to eat alien first born? The point is: people are dumb, and the only way to make them less dumb is to finally invest in our failing education system.”
<p class="dilemmaaccept"><button type="submit" name="choice-2" value="1" class="button big icon approve">Accept</button>
<li><p>Your paper shredder looks at you, knowingly. It doesn’t talk, of course, but you know what it’s trying to say. It beckons you. Go on... One more can’t hurt, can it?
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<p class="smalltext rightbox">Issue by <a href="nation=human_olympus" class="nlink"><span>The Objectivist Enclave of Human Olympus</span></a><p class="smalltext rightbox">Edited by <a href="nation=sedgistan" class="nlink"><span>Sedgistan</span></a></p>
Dismissal Denied!
The Issue
After a recent petition to lower Grindstone’s infamous “Reading Tax” was found in a dumpster, debate has sparked over the government’s abuse of veto powers.
The Debate
“42, my foot!” protests aspiring revolutionary Nomfundo al-Zahawi. “If you aren’t going to listen to the people, at least be honest about it. Go ahead! Try your little mad grab for power, Leader! The people dare you!”
Accept
“Don’t let these warmongers bait you!” cautions your trusted adviser, Stephanie Le Chiffre. “Obviously, we can’t just eliminate your veto power, but what if you just made a super sincere promise to use more restraint with it? That might satisfy the angry mobs.”
Accept
“But some of these proposals make my head spin,” opines Grindstone City Senator Wil Hackett. “Who would really blame us for dismissing a petition to eat alien first born? The point is: people are dumb, and the only way to make them less dumb is to finally invest in our failing education system.”
Accept
Your paper shredder looks at you, knowingly. It doesn’t talk, of course, but you know what it’s trying to say. It beckons you. Go on... One more can’t hurt, can it?
Accept
by Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:18 am
Aifur wrote:Hrm. 624 seems like an another issue that doesn't do much, no matter what you pick.
...at least that way there's no need to worry about picking a wrong choice, I suppose. But I'd be far more enthusiastic about the new issues if they had more than just a negligible effect on the stats. As it is now, I'm starting to hate seeing them in the issue queue. Since all they do is take space in there.
by New Glubbdubdrib » Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:37 am
Success! After months of hard work, the police have busted a contraband-smuggling operation of incredible size, with several warehouses of a variety of illegal goods broken open and the ringleaders arrested. As all are cheering the police for their fine work, the question of what you should actually do with all this contraband is being raised.
The Debate
“That’s... a lot of latex,” observes crime scene cleaner-upper Kayla Blofeld, wading through millions of banned condoms. “Our enemies are determined to over-ride our choice to ban contraception, and we should fight back! I suggest we render these condoms ineffective with a puncture hole or six, then return them to the black market. Then, those who are sinfully engaging in contraception will be stopped from murdering unborn children.”
Accept
“Oh my... Are those all V12 Maxati Baryons? The fastest road-legal automobiles in the world?” asks police officer Ingmar Chekov, showing an inappropriate level of enthusiasm. “These have to be destined for illegal race circuits... I say we chip them with @@CURRENCY@@ trackers, let them slip back into circulation, so we can track down the criminals. I foresee high speed car chases, so you’d better keep a handful back for the police.”
Accept
“This is something of a haul, but these aren’t trade goods anymore: they’re evidence!” says Judiciary Director Barbie von Bismarck. “The goods should be stored as such till the legal processes are complete, then they should be carefully destroyed with a clear accounting trail to ensure ethical practice.”
Accept
“So, I make it almost a billion @@CURRENCY@@ in goods here,” ponders your Treasury Minister, staring at an unethically-sourced blood diamond. “How about we sell this stuff, as official plunder? The revenue boost would be great for this year’s budget deficit. Tax cuts are good, right? This is our stuff now, after all.”
Acceptprotestors are soaking piles of @@CURRENCY@@ in blood to make a point about government incomes.
“You know, I can’t help but think that a lot of this contraband wouldn’t be illegal in a more liberal country,” observes one of the smugglers, from the chair your men have tied him to. “You ever considered changing your laws to allow some free trade and personal freedom, maybe? Like, if you could personally free me, that’d be great.”
Accept
Issue by The Dux Headquarters of Annihilators of Chan Island
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
by Annihilators of Chan Island » Mon Nov 07, 2016 9:31 am
New Glubbdubdrib wrote:625: Delivering the GoodsSuccess! After months of hard work, the police have busted a contraband-smuggling operation of incredible size, with several warehouses of a variety of illegal goods broken open and the ringleaders arrested. As all are cheering the police for their fine work, the question of what you should actually do with all this contraband is being raised.
The Debate
“That’s... a lot of latex,” observes crime scene cleaner-upper Kayla Blofeld, wading through millions of banned condoms. “Our enemies are determined to over-ride our choice to ban contraception, and we should fight back! I suggest we render these condoms ineffective with a puncture hole or six, then return them to the black market. Then, those who are sinfully engaging in contraception will be stopped from murdering unborn children.”
Accept
“Oh my... Are those all V12 Maxati Baryons? The fastest road-legal automobiles in the world?” asks police officer Ingmar Chekov, showing an inappropriate level of enthusiasm. “These have to be destined for illegal race circuits... I say we chip them with @@CURRENCY@@ trackers, let them slip back into circulation, so we can track down the criminals. I foresee high speed car chases, so you’d better keep a handful back for the police.”
Accept
“This is something of a haul, but these aren’t trade goods anymore: they’re evidence!” says Judiciary Director Barbie von Bismarck. “The goods should be stored as such till the legal processes are complete, then they should be carefully destroyed with a clear accounting trail to ensure ethical practice.”
Accept
“So, I make it almost a billion @@CURRENCY@@ in goods here,” ponders your Treasury Minister, staring at an unethically-sourced blood diamond. “How about we sell this stuff, as official plunder? The revenue boost would be great for this year’s budget deficit. Tax cuts are good, right? This is our stuff now, after all.”
Acceptprotestors are soaking piles of @@CURRENCY@@ in blood to make a point about government incomes.
“You know, I can’t help but think that a lot of this contraband wouldn’t be illegal in a more liberal country,” observes one of the smugglers, from the chair your men have tied him to. “You ever considered changing your laws to allow some free trade and personal freedom, maybe? Like, if you could personally free me, that’d be great.”
Accept
Issue by The Dux Headquarters of Annihilators of Chan Island
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
Well. Speaking of stats, that was kind of unimpressive.
It scored maximum of six on my chart, compared to pre-600 issues that score average of sixty. So I'd have to answer that one ten times for it to equal one older issue.
by Trotterdam » Mon Nov 07, 2016 10:37 am
#625 Delivering The Goods
The Issue
Success! After months of hard work, the police have busted a contraband-smuggling operation of incredible size, with several warehouses of a variety of illegal goods broken open and the ringleaders arrested. As all are cheering the police for their fine work, the question of what you should actually do with all this contraband is being raised.
The Debate
1?. "These ivory statuettes are from the tusks of endangered species," says Customs Officer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We can't allow them into circulation, but to destroy art like this seems a shame. Maybe put them into a public museum, and preserve them for posterity."
2?. "DRUGS!" yells furious Narcotics Investigator @@RANDOMNAME@@, kicking at a polythene sack full of white powder. "We gotta stand firm in condemnation of drugs! We're going to burn all the contraband to make a statement! Zero tolerance! Zero tolerance!"
3?. "This is something of a haul, but these aren't trade goods anymore: they're evidence!" says Judiciary Director @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The goods should be stored as such till the legal processes are complete, then they should be carefully destroyed with a clear accounting trail to ensure ethical practice."
4?. "So, I make it almost a billion @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ in goods here," ponders your Treasury Minister, staring at an unethically-sourced blood diamond. "How about we sell this stuff, as official plunder? The revenue boost would be great for this year's budget deficit. Tax cuts are good, right? This is our stuff now, after all."
5?. "You know, I can't help but think that a lot of this contraband wouldn't be illegal in a more liberal country," observes one of the smugglers, from the chair your men have tied him to. "You ever considered changing your laws to allow some free trade and personal freedom, maybe? Like, if you could personally free me, that'd be great."
Dismiss This Issue
Issue by Annihilators of Chan Island
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
by Xynlandia » Mon Nov 07, 2016 1:45 pm
The Issue
Success! After months of hard work, the police have busted a contraband-smuggling operation of incredible size, with several warehouses of a variety of illegal goods broken open and the ringleaders arrested. As all are cheering the police for their fine work, the question of what you should actually do with all this contraband is being raised.
The Debate
1. “These ivory statuettes are from the tusks of endangered species,” says Customs Officer Dorothy James. “We can’t allow them into circulation, but to destroy art like this seems a shame. Maybe put them into a public museum, and preserve them for posterity.”
2. “DRUGS!” yells furious Narcotics Investigator Peggy May, kicking at a polythene sack full of white powder. “We gotta stand firm in condemnation of drugs! We’re going to burn all the contraband to make a statement! Zero tolerance! Zero tolerance!’‘
4. “Exterminator 4: Salvation, Xenoform Resurrection, Transmorphers Vengeance of the Failbots,” spits Culture Minister Larry Snow in disgust. “Low-quality illegal sequels are being smuggled into the country. I can feel my IQ dropping just looking at the box covers. It is imperative we mount a counter-assault! Fund original highbrow cinema, and get it to the people before it is too late!”
6. “That’s... a lot of latex,” observes crime scene cleaner-upper Björk Bronte, wading through millions of banned condoms. “Our enemies are determined to over-ride our choice to ban contraception, and we should fight back! I suggest we render these condoms ineffective with a puncture hole or six, then return them to the black market. Then, those who are sinfully engaging in contraception will be stopped from murdering unborn children.”
7. “Oh my... Are those all V12 Maxati Baryons? The fastest road-legal automobiles in the world?” asks police officer Angus Harper, showing an inappropriate level of enthusiasm. “These have to be destined for illegal race circuits... I say we chip them with GPS trackers, let them slip back into circulation, so we can track down the criminals. I foresee high speed car chases, so you’d better keep a handful back for the police.”
8. “Turns out that there was a cache of... adult material,” says Customs and Excise Officer Tiberius Goff, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, “depicting illegal scenes of ahem... fellows of the same gender. Disgusting stuff, quite horrible. I’ve examined it at great length, and... yes... great length. We need to crack down, hunt down the secret homosexuals in this nation, and shoot them dead. That’ll teach them to trouble us with these... hard to look at... images.”
9. “This is something of a haul, but these aren’t trade goods anymore: they’re evidence!” says Judiciary Director Falala Reading. “The goods should be stored as such till the legal processes are complete, then they should be carefully destroyed with a clear accounting trail to ensure ethical practice.”
10. “So, I make it almost a billion Xyniums in goods here,” ponders your Treasury Minister, staring at an unethically-sourced blood diamond. “How about we sell this stuff, as official plunder? The revenue boost would be great for this year’s budget deficit. Tax cuts are good, right? This is our stuff now, after all.”
11. “You know, I can’t help but think that a lot of this contraband wouldn’t be illegal in a more liberal country,” observes one of the smugglers, from the chair your men have tied him to. “You ever considered changing your laws to allow some free trade and personal freedom, maybe? Like, if you could personally free me, that’d be great.”
by Annihilators of Chan Island » Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:18 pm
Trotterdam wrote:Aww dammit. I didn't think this issue would have restricted options and so didn't check the internal option numbers.
It seems the first several options vary significantly depending on which things are actually illegal in your nation. Here's mine:#625 Delivering The Goods
The Issue
Success! After months of hard work, the police have busted a contraband-smuggling operation of incredible size, with several warehouses of a variety of illegal goods broken open and the ringleaders arrested. As all are cheering the police for their fine work, the question of what you should actually do with all this contraband is being raised.
The Debate
1?. "These ivory statuettes are from the tusks of endangered species," says Customs Officer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We can't allow them into circulation, but to destroy art like this seems a shame. Maybe put them into a public museum, and preserve them for posterity."
2?. "DRUGS!" yells furious Narcotics Investigator @@RANDOMNAME@@, kicking at a polythene sack full of white powder. "We gotta stand firm in condemnation of drugs! We're going to burn all the contraband to make a statement! Zero tolerance! Zero tolerance!"
3?. "This is something of a haul, but these aren't trade goods anymore: they're evidence!" says Judiciary Director @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The goods should be stored as such till the legal processes are complete, then they should be carefully destroyed with a clear accounting trail to ensure ethical practice."
4?. "So, I make it almost a billion @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ in goods here," ponders your Treasury Minister, staring at an unethically-sourced blood diamond. "How about we sell this stuff, as official plunder? The revenue boost would be great for this year's budget deficit. Tax cuts are good, right? This is our stuff now, after all."
5?. "You know, I can't help but think that a lot of this contraband wouldn't be illegal in a more liberal country," observes one of the smugglers, from the chair your men have tied him to. "You ever considered changing your laws to allow some free trade and personal freedom, maybe? Like, if you could personally free me, that'd be great."
Dismiss This Issue
Issue by Annihilators of Chan Island
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
The last three options are likely fixed.
Xynlandia wrote:The Issue
Success! After months of hard work, the police have busted a contraband-smuggling operation of incredible size, with several warehouses of a variety of illegal goods broken open and the ringleaders arrested. As all are cheering the police for their fine work, the question of what you should actually do with all this contraband is being raised.
The Debate
1. “These ivory statuettes are from the tusks of endangered species,” says Customs Officer Dorothy James. “We can’t allow them into circulation, but to destroy art like this seems a shame. Maybe put them into a public museum, and preserve them for posterity.”
2. “DRUGS!” yells furious Narcotics Investigator Peggy May, kicking at a polythene sack full of white powder. “We gotta stand firm in condemnation of drugs! We’re going to burn all the contraband to make a statement! Zero tolerance! Zero tolerance!’‘
4. “Exterminator 4: Salvation, Xenoform Resurrection, Transmorphers Vengeance of the Failbots,” spits Culture Minister Larry Snow in disgust. “Low-quality illegal sequels are being smuggled into the country. I can feel my IQ dropping just looking at the box covers. It is imperative we mount a counter-assault! Fund original highbrow cinema, and get it to the people before it is too late!”
6. “That’s... a lot of latex,” observes crime scene cleaner-upper Björk Bronte, wading through millions of banned condoms. “Our enemies are determined to over-ride our choice to ban contraception, and we should fight back! I suggest we render these condoms ineffective with a puncture hole or six, then return them to the black market. Then, those who are sinfully engaging in contraception will be stopped from murdering unborn children.”
7. “Oh my... Are those all V12 Maxati Baryons? The fastest road-legal automobiles in the world?” asks police officer Angus Harper, showing an inappropriate level of enthusiasm. “These have to be destined for illegal race circuits... I say we chip them with GPS trackers, let them slip back into circulation, so we can track down the criminals. I foresee high speed car chases, so you’d better keep a handful back for the police.”
8. “Turns out that there was a cache of... adult material,” says Customs and Excise Officer Tiberius Goff, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, “depicting illegal scenes of ahem... fellows of the same gender. Disgusting stuff, quite horrible. I’ve examined it at great length, and... yes... great length. We need to crack down, hunt down the secret homosexuals in this nation, and shoot them dead. That’ll teach them to trouble us with these... hard to look at... images.”
9. “This is something of a haul, but these aren’t trade goods anymore: they’re evidence!” says Judiciary Director Falala Reading. “The goods should be stored as such till the legal processes are complete, then they should be carefully destroyed with a clear accounting trail to ensure ethical practice.”
10. “So, I make it almost a billion Xyniums in goods here,” ponders your Treasury Minister, staring at an unethically-sourced blood diamond. “How about we sell this stuff, as official plunder? The revenue boost would be great for this year’s budget deficit. Tax cuts are good, right? This is our stuff now, after all.”
11. “You know, I can’t help but think that a lot of this contraband wouldn’t be illegal in a more liberal country,” observes one of the smugglers, from the chair your men have tied him to. “You ever considered changing your laws to allow some free trade and personal freedom, maybe? Like, if you could personally free me, that’d be great.”
So much choice...
by Trotterdam » Mon Nov 07, 2016 5:15 pm
by The Candy Of Bottles » Mon Nov 07, 2016 6:09 pm
by Copercia » Tue Nov 08, 2016 9:55 am
3. “Considerable firepower on display here,” says SWAT-team leader Charles Steele. “If I were you, I’d want to know to which dissident group these guns were intended. Put the confiscated firearms in the armoury of the police and military, and give us the all clear to find the terrorists, and deal with them with extreme force. I call it Operation: Ironic Takedown.”
by Trotterdam » Tue Nov 08, 2016 8:15 pm
5. "Dead bodies... Thousands of dead bodies... This isn't smuggling; it's evidence of mass murder!" weeps compassionate citizen @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Okay, so maybe the dead are cows and sheep, but animals deserve life too: isn't that why we're a vegetarian nation? We should erect a memorial, to pay respect to the souls of these good, deceased animals. Perhaps also, we could have a dignified cremation ceremony."
by Zwangzug » Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:34 am
by Tinhampton » Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:36 am
Zwangzug wrote:Issue 66 is different, with Candlewhisper Archive as second editor:
After tabloid magazine “The Bun” outed supermodel @@RANDOMNAME@@* as having been born male, the fashion world has gone into a frenzy, with the organisers of @@CAPITAL@@ Fashion Week barring the model from the runway. Social media has gone into meltdown with commentators from all sides of the argument demanding that the government step in.
1. “I have gone through twenty years of internal pain about my external appearance, and I’ve put so much effort and money into finally having the world see the real me!” blogs the model. “Gender isn’t a binary proposition: gender identity is not necessarily the gender assigned at birth. I was fortunate to have private funds and supportive parents, but not all are so lucky. Please recognise my right to self-determination of identity, and help those like me get the surgery and medicine they need.”
2. “Look, man is man and woman is woman: it’s written in our chromosomes. You can’t choose to be a different gender any more than you can choose to say you’re a zebra,” broadcasts right-wing talk radio host @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Hey, a man wants the liberty to dress as a woman, I won’t deny him that: just don’t expect the taxpayer to pay for his operations and medicines.”
3. “Well I got a problem with these cross-dressers,” spits cargo-hauler @@RANDOMNAME@@. “One time I thought I was hitting on this waitress at the pie shop, only turns out she was a he. Man, it sickens me. Lock dem all in an asylum till they get their heads straight!”
*this is probably Random Female Name, actually? I'm not sure, I got "Buffy Singh".
by Noahs Second Country » Fri Nov 11, 2016 8:42 am
Westinor wrote:Who knew the face of Big Farma could be the greatest hero of the Cards Proleteriat?
Honeydewistania wrote:Such spunk and arrogance that he welcomes the brigade of hatred!
by Maljaratas » Sat Nov 12, 2016 8:30 am
by The Candy Of Bottles » Sun Nov 13, 2016 12:07 am
The Bee-Ginning Of A Catastrophe?
The Issue
When top scientists started genetically engineering bees in order to make them live longer and resist disease, things went horribly wrong. The result - subsequently dubbed the Matoran Killer Jacket - wiped out their creators within an hour and promptly escaped the lab. Terrified citizens are urging you to stop genetic engineering on bees, citing the unpredictability and potential dangers of this technology.
The Debate
“What is this madness?” shouts Doctor Bees, still wearing his trademark bee costume, who has in his suitcase the only bees in Backje that aren’t genetically modified. “We’ve created a potential threat to our population. Thanks to genetic tampering, you made killer-bees with GM stingers! Who knows what they’ll do now? The only solution is to ban genetic engineering and shut down the lab immediately. It’s immoral, insane, and incompetent! Cull these modified abominations and encourage the breeding of all-natural, all-organic normal bees... like mine!”
Accept
“Don’t you forget why we need this,” reminds Sigourney Claus, the new CEO of Bees and Genes, aiming an insecticide spray at a small arthropod hovering above your shoulder. “It’s a noble experiment to keep bees from dying off. Genetically engineered bees have a much greater chance of survival, and that’s better for the environment. With some government support, we can do more for our bees and prof... well, you know.”
Accept
“We certainly don’t have to be black-and-yellow about this,” asserts Pablo Ward, a government scientist who is picking apart your flower display, looking for nectar. “While it’s true that genetic engineering can create some unintended pests, it has potential to help our buzzing friends survive many threats like CCD and parasitic mites. How about we set strict standards for these laboratories? With government oversight, we can watch out for any killer bugs while keeping this technology safe and regulated. True, the scientists may end up trapped in an endless cycle of regulations and inspections, but that’s besides the point.”
Accept
“The problem was that we trusted this experimentation to the boffs in the labs,” growls your gruff military attaché Alexei Cohen while examining a modified bee under a microscope. “Now I’m not much of a scientist, but surely it wouldn’t be too hard for us to round up these modified bees and set them loose on one of our enemies? Imagine if we unleashed some of these bad boys on Maxtopia or Marche Noir. Their ecosystem will be so screwed up they’ll be begging to sign that peace treaty! Now excuse me while I practice my evil laugh.”
Accept
Dismiss This Issue
Issue by The City-State of Outer Sparta
Edited by Nation of Quebec
by Tinhampton » Sun Nov 13, 2016 3:44 am
by Trotterdam » Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:40 pm
#180 Mobile Maladies
The Issue
Recently, there has been increased commotion from your citizens about the possible health risks caused by using mobile phones.
The Debate
1. "Have you seen these statistics?!" yells anti-mobile lobbyist @@RANDOMNAME@@, gesturing towards a wiggly line on a clipboard. "Mobile phones now kill more people in this country than exploding cupboards, the ironing board, and Godzilla put together! And that's not including the number of people who die every year from car crashes caused by chit-chat while driving! These things fry your brain with microwaves while you speak! We must ban mobile phones now!"
2. "This is utter nonsense," argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of Amber Phones, while nonchalantly slipping a wad of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ into your pocket. "Mobile phones are totally harmless - I'll have you know that not one of our privately-funded studies has found the slightest bit of evidence to the contrary! Have you ever seen anyone drop dead in the street just because they were chatting on one of our new M/A models for sale now at low, low prices? No! It's just blatant scaremongering! I implore the government to dismiss these crackpots' complaints."
3. "I don't believe they're harmful either," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a teacher. "But it's obvious to everyone what a detrimental effect it has on our children! Everywhere I look, I'm seeing children as young as four tapping away at the blasted things! Do you know how many lessons I've had interrupted by the 'Crazy @@ANIMAL@@' ringtone? Do you know how many of my pupils think 'great' is spelled with a number? Too many! Only adults should be allowed to own and use mobile phones!"
Issue by Grindleria
Edited by Sirocco
#180 Mobile Maladies
1. it is illegal to own a mobile phone
2. mobile phone masts are being erected all over the country
3. children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban
#180 Mobile Maladies
The Issue
Recent technological developments in mobile phones are raising concerns from your citizens about the possible harm they are doing to the modern generation.
The Debate
1. "Everyone is just staring at their phone screens these days!" messages anti-mobile lobbyist @@RANDOMNAME@@, via the WotsOn chat service. "Between social media, augmented reality games and personal assistant software, people now spend more time looking at and talking to their phones than they do interacting with real people! Let's not forget the dangers of these distracting devices either: inattentive driving, pedestrian collisions, eye strain, repetitive strain injuries... They've caused more deaths than exploding cupboards, the ironing board, and Godzilla put together. I say we create just one hour every lunchtime where everybody is obliged to keep their phones off. Let's rediscover the art of conversation!"
2. "This is utter nonsense. Mobile phones are nothing other than beneficial to society! I'll have you know that not one of our privately-funded studies has found the slightest bit of evidence to the contrary!" argues @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, CEO of Amber Phones, gesturing towards a wiggly line on a clipboard as he nonchalantly slips a wad of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ into your back pocket. "Have you ever seen anyone drop dead in the street just because they were chatting on one of our new uPhone85 models for sale now at low, low prices? No! It's just blatant scaremongering! I implore the government to dismiss these crackpots' complaints."
3. "I don't believe they're harmful either," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a teacher. "But it's obvious to everyone what a detrimental effect it has on our children! Everywhere I look, I'm seeing children as young as four tapping away at the blasted things! Do you know how many lessons I've had interrupted by the 'Crazy @@ANIMAL@@' ringtone, or by little Timmy saying there's a collectable Pokeachew under my desk? Do you know how many of my pupils think 'great' is spelled with a number? Too many! Only adults should be allowed to own and use mobile phones!"
Issue by Grindleria (nominally)
Edited by Sirocco and Candlewhisper Archive
#180 Mobile Maladies
1. sheepish teenagers are making eye contact with their parents for the first time in a decade during state-enforced 'no-phones hour'
2. crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens
3. children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban
by Aclion » Sun Nov 13, 2016 11:03 pm
Maljaratas wrote:At long last, I give you issue 614:How Much Is That Vote In The Window?
The Issue
After recent elections in Thinking Machines, journalists calculated that over eighty percent of the money donated to candidates came from less than a dozen notable corporations. After years of protests about the corruption in the election system, several major voices have finally managed to sneak or bribe their way to your desk.
The Debate
“How could we let this happen?” moans Debbie Eugenia, spokesperson for Citizens United for Responsible, Sane Elections. “Well, it’s pretty easy,” she says as she shows you a complicated diagram linking various politicians to numerous corporations. “For years our nation’s elections have been subverted by dark Bits from unaccountable private donors! You can see the chains of corruption laid out right here - go on, look at the flow chart!” Indeed, there are some prominent politicians’ names on the chart, but you don’t have time to make much of it before she continues. “It’s long past time to put real limits on how much can be donated in an election! ARGH,” she faints after being hit with a tranquilizer dart.
As your staffers drag the unconscious body of the activist away, two activist CEOs known as the Kone Sisters make their case. “Please don’t listen to this wacko,” pleads Carolyn Kone, who donated over a million @@CURRENCY@@ to the mayor of @@CAPITAL@@’s campaign last year. “We need to be able to give freely if we want to truly represent our wealth - I mean, the people’s voice! If anything, we should be thanking the donors for picking the right candidate.” Danielle Kone, who donated to the mayor’s rival last year, interjects. “Maybe we could dip into the government’s coffers to refund their donations to the winning campaign. Think of it as a boon to competition – raising the stakes like that will lead to better business models and better candidates!”
Out of nowhere Hayek Freedman, Professor of Economics and Philosophy at the University of @@CAPITAL@@-Oldtown, falls through your ceiling, then still somehow manages to strut calmly to your desk. “Hold up a minute, The One Who Is. Neither of these lunatics knows what they’re talking about. Allowing such huge campaign donations is incredibly wasteful; the whole economy would be better off without that drain. Yet we can’t deny that indeed, corporations are people, my friend. So how is it we still haven’t given them the right to vote? Economic justice means instead of ‘one person, one vote,’ we say ‘one @@CURRENCY@@, one vote!’ We’ll just give natural persons AND corporations one vote for each @@CURRENCY@@ they earn every year. If you truly want to hear the voice of the people, not to mention cut way down on tax evasion, then let their wallets speak for them!”
Issue by The Trade And Defense Powerhouse of Burned lands
Edited by Nation of Quebec and Logophilia Lyricalia
I tried to get the macros that go by nation. Is there some way to forcibly reset an issue's randomnames to see which ones are?
by Maljaratas » Mon Nov 14, 2016 7:38 am
Aclion wrote:Maljaratas wrote:At long last, I give you issue 614:How Much Is That Vote In The Window?
The Issue
After recent elections in Thinking Machines, journalists calculated that over eighty percent of the money donated to candidates came from less than a dozen notable corporations. After years of protests about the corruption in the election system, several major voices have finally managed to sneak or bribe their way to your desk.
The Debate
“How could we let this happen?” moans Debbie Eugenia, spokesperson for Citizens United for Responsible, Sane Elections. “Well, it’s pretty easy,” she says as she shows you a complicated diagram linking various politicians to numerous corporations. “For years our nation’s elections have been subverted by dark Bits from unaccountable private donors! You can see the chains of corruption laid out right here - go on, look at the flow chart!” Indeed, there are some prominent politicians’ names on the chart, but you don’t have time to make much of it before she continues. “It’s long past time to put real limits on how much can be donated in an election! ARGH,” she faints after being hit with a tranquilizer dart.
As your staffers drag the unconscious body of the activist away, two activist CEOs known as the Kone Sisters make their case. “Please don’t listen to this wacko,” pleads Carolyn Kone, who donated over a million @@CURRENCY@@ to the mayor of @@CAPITAL@@’s campaign last year. “We need to be able to give freely if we want to truly represent our wealth - I mean, the people’s voice! If anything, we should be thanking the donors for picking the right candidate.” Danielle Kone, who donated to the mayor’s rival last year, interjects. “Maybe we could dip into the government’s coffers to refund their donations to the winning campaign. Think of it as a boon to competition – raising the stakes like that will lead to better business models and better candidates!”
Out of nowhere Hayek Freedman, Professor of Economics and Philosophy at the University of @@CAPITAL@@-Oldtown, falls through your ceiling, then still somehow manages to strut calmly to your desk. “Hold up a minute, The One Who Is. Neither of these lunatics knows what they’re talking about. Allowing such huge campaign donations is incredibly wasteful; the whole economy would be better off without that drain. Yet we can’t deny that indeed, corporations are people, my friend. So how is it we still haven’t given them the right to vote? Economic justice means instead of ‘one person, one vote,’ we say ‘one @@CURRENCY@@, one vote!’ We’ll just give natural persons AND corporations one vote for each @@CURRENCY@@ they earn every year. If you truly want to hear the voice of the people, not to mention cut way down on tax evasion, then let their wallets speak for them!”
Issue by The Trade And Defense Powerhouse of Burned lands
Edited by Nation of Quebec and Logophilia Lyricalia
I tried to get the macros that go by nation. Is there some way to forcibly reset an issue's randomnames to see which ones are?
Debbie Eugenia Is probobly random, but the Kone sisters are a reference to the Koch bothers, and Hayak and Freedman are lifted from the names of two economists.
by Eaischpnaeieacgkque Bhcieaghpodsttditf » Mon Nov 14, 2016 11:13 am
by Askatopia » Mon Nov 14, 2016 11:57 am
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