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by Logophilia Lyricalia » Sat May 28, 2016 1:34 pm
by Trotterdam » Sat May 28, 2016 7:51 pm
by Raionitu » Sat May 28, 2016 9:35 pm
Trotterdam wrote:Be advised: I believe that #520 has a fourth option not reported yet. I'm not sure what makes it show up, maybe having a nation that's already highly religious.
by Trotterdam » Sat May 28, 2016 9:44 pm
#522 Time To Get Serious
The Issue
It's a slow news day, and so a recent study by the Scientific Centre of Analytical Metadata is getting considerable attention. After a decade of expensive travel to exotic climes, researchers have concluded that nations where people laugh more have a lower GDP. Your advisers have gathered to find out what you want to do.
The Debate
1. "That's just a funny coincidence!" yells joke shop owner @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as she waves a rubber-chicken at you, her cheeks puffed out in anger. "Laughter is a tonic! Laughter is the best medicine! If you take away laughter, you destroy the beating heart of @@NAME@@! Dismiss this crackpot theory and keep the joy that makes @@NAME@@ so great... by subsidising the humour-retail industry!"
2. "At last! The link is proven!" notes clothes factory owner @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ as he spies on his staff through CCTV. "I last smiled seventy-two years ago and it is an accident I have striven not to repeat! Every day, I watch girls who should be working my machines, laughing. I keep telling them to keep their heads down, but they keep on giggling and smiling and... oh, they're so disobedient! Someone needs to punish them. Give employers the right to dock wages and force extra hours for excessive joviality. That'll show those minxes!"
3. "This crass commercialism saddens my heart," observes dour faith leader @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, shaking his head sadly. "What about the soul? Laughter is evil spirits, shaking our bodies. Each guffaw is the spirit of the divine, leaking out of the body. It is Written! For the sake of the collective salvation of @@NAME@@, laughter must be banned!"
4. "How can you listen to these people?" asks depressed laughter therapist @@RANDOMNAME@@, dabbing away a tear. "@@NAME@@ needs joy, now more than ever. We need to bring the art of humour and inner happiness into everybody's lives through intensive programmes in every school and workplace in the country. Happiness doesn't just happen: it needs to be taught!"
Issue by: The Free Joy State
Editor: Candlewhisper Archive
by Phydios » Sun May 29, 2016 10:59 am
"These chaplains have gotten me thinking," muses the head of the @@CAPITAL@@ chapter of @@FAITH@@, whose sparkling ten-foot tall hat was recognizable from miles away. "Why don't you place the military under our command? After a massive expansion, we can force all soldiers to convert so we can wage a divine holy war against the heathens and non-believers in @@REGION@@. Then once we've purged @@REGION@@ of its sins, we can turn our attention to the blasphemers in our own country. Ahh, the Almighty will surely look upon our work with great favour! All I need is your signature here."
Issue by: The Nyx of Raionitu
Editor: Nation of Quebec
If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. | Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’James 1:26-27, Matthew 7:21-23
by Arachaea » Tue May 31, 2016 3:24 am
by Gnejs » Tue May 31, 2016 3:34 am
Arachaea wrote:I got issue #115 this morning, and looked it up to see what effect it would have. I clicked the first option, due to me not liking the consequences of option 2, and my research said option 1 would not affect my civil rights, and it caused them to drop a bit. Is this a glitch?
by Arachaea » Tue May 31, 2016 3:43 am
Gnejs wrote:Arachaea wrote:I got issue #115 this morning, and looked it up to see what effect it would have. I clicked the first option, due to me not liking the consequences of option 2, and my research said option 1 would not affect my civil rights, and it caused them to drop a bit. Is this a glitch?
This is the wrong thread for that kind of question. But no, there's no glitch. Issues affect nations differently, so relying on "looking up effects" is no guarantee. For future reference, if you find any odd results, please use this thread: http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=370351
by Eahland » Tue May 31, 2016 7:50 am
The Issue
The media's obsession of the week is the "Edward Fitzpatrick," a @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ ore freighter that sank in a sudden freak storm while shipping its haul of raw taconite across Great @@ANIMAL@@ Lake for smelting. The ship, its cargo, and crew were all lost.
The Debate
1. "Oh, well, this is a terrible disaster," sighs Remus Titan, CEO of Consolidated Resource Acquisition Partners. "Do you know how many tons of ore that ship was carrying? That's hundreds of thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ my company's lost!" Wiping a kerchief across his brow, he continues. "You know, the government really ought to send some money our way to make up for the lost capital. It's for the best. With a hefty tax break, we can make sure such a terrible tragedy doesn't happen to our bottom line - uh, employees - again."
2. Bereaved family member Andrea Doria, still in funeral attire, shoves your secretary aside as she storms into your office. "Do you realize what a horrible crime this wreck really was? I'll have you know that one of the sailors on the Edward Fitzpatrick was my husband's cousin's half-brother! Do you know how much this has impacted me and my family? All because those mining industry jackals don't give a damn about their employees!" She takes a breath and continues, "My point is, those weasels should be forced to pay reparations to the families of the victims, AND overhaul their whole fleet - more lifeboats, more safety regulations, engine tune-ups, the works! Maybe if they actually cared about those sailors they wouldn't have sent them out on such a ramshackle old hulk."
3. "You're missing the whole point," cries model train enthusiast Lionel Brio as he starts laying track all over your office. "The problem here is that we were using the wrong kind of transport in the first place! Boats are old and prone to sink, and rocks don't exactly float." He gets a gleam in his eye as a six-inch locomotive blows smoke in your face. "What we need is trains. Picture it: we convert mining transport to railways, and all the danger of sailing will become a thing of the past! It won't be cheap, but we'll have the best rail network in @@REGION@@, and more importantly I'll get some new model freight cars for my collection!"
4. Jordan Brighthand, a popular @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ folk singer, strides into your office, a battered acoustic guitar slung on his shoulder. "You know, @@LEADER@@, the story of this shipwreck has really inspired me," he says as he strums out a melody. "Let's face it, you can't stop tragedies like this. It's just fate. But what we can do is immortalize the victims in song, so that future generations of @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ can hear the stories of our past. It sure beats reading about 'em - why stick your nose in a book when your guitar can gently weep over the coffins?"
5. "Well the answer's clear to me," says Hal Stoker, the most popular weather forecaster in @@CAPITAL@@. "This was a failure by meteorologists all around Great @@ANIMAL@@ Lake. This is a red flag that's telling you to pour some government funds into the @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ Institute of Meteorology. Our weather forecasters have been poorly trained on outdated equipment for years as the Institute languished. We really need better gear; the new Rotating Aerial Inversion Navigator, that's the RAIN-420 doppler radar, is a real beauty, I gotta get my hands on that - oh, uh, and we'll save some lives, too."
Issue by: The Interstellar Empire of Drawkland
Editor: Logophilia Lyricalia
Might've missed a few macros. The names SEEM random, but I couldn't find any of them on the name pool. Somebody else would need to post the issue to see where the names are.
I know that "Jordan Brighthand" is intentional because it's a pun from the issue title (based on a song) and Hal Stoker might be, since "Al Roker" is the name of a news anchor.
Again, will need someone to confirm name macros.
by Drawkland » Tue May 31, 2016 10:12 am
Eahland wrote:Let's play "spot the name reference!":
"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", of course.The Issue
The media's obsession of the week is the "Edward Fitzpatrick," a @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ ore freighter that sank in a sudden freak storm while shipping its haul of raw taconite across Great @@ANIMAL@@ Lake for smelting. The ship, its cargo, and crew were all lost.
SS Edmund FitzgeraldThe Debate
1. "Oh, well, this is a terrible disaster," sighs Remus Titan, CEO of Consolidated Resource Acquisition Partners. "Do you know how many tons of ore that ship was carrying? That's hundreds of thousands of @@CURRENCY@@ my company's lost!" Wiping a kerchief across his brow, he continues. "You know, the government really ought to send some money our way to make up for the lost capital. It's for the best. With a hefty tax break, we can make sure such a terrible tragedy doesn't happen to our bottom line - uh, employees - again."
Remus Titanic2. Bereaved family member Andrea Doria, still in funeral attire, shoves your secretary aside as she storms into your office. "Do you realize what a horrible crime this wreck really was? I'll have you know that one of the sailors on the Edward Fitzpatrick was my husband's cousin's half-brother! Do you know how much this has impacted me and my family? All because those mining industry jackals don't give a damn about their employees!" She takes a breath and continues, "My point is, those weasels should be forced to pay reparations to the families of the victims, AND overhaul their whole fleet - more lifeboats, more safety regulations, engine tune-ups, the works! Maybe if they actually cared about those sailors they wouldn't have sent them out on such a ramshackle old hulk."
Andrea Doria3. "You're missing the whole point," cries model train enthusiast Lionel Brio as he starts laying track all over your office. "The problem here is that we were using the wrong kind of transport in the first place! Boats are old and prone to sink, and rocks don't exactly float." He gets a gleam in his eye as a six-inch locomotive blows smoke in your face. "What we need is trains. Picture it: we convert mining transport to railways, and all the danger of sailing will become a thing of the past! It won't be cheap, but we'll have the best rail network in @@REGION@@, and more importantly I'll get some new model freight cars for my collection!"
Lionel Brio4. Jordan Brighthand, a popular @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ folk singer, strides into your office, a battered acoustic guitar slung on his shoulder. "You know, @@LEADER@@, the story of this shipwreck has really inspired me," he says as he strums out a melody. "Let's face it, you can't stop tragedies like this. It's just fate. But what we can do is immortalize the victims in song, so that future generations of @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ can hear the stories of our past. It sure beats reading about 'em - why stick your nose in a book when your guitar can gently weep over the coffins?"
Gordon Lightfoot, who wrote "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", obviously.5. "Well the answer's clear to me," says Hal Stoker, the most popular weather forecaster in @@CAPITAL@@. "This was a failure by meteorologists all around Great @@ANIMAL@@ Lake. This is a red flag that's telling you to pour some government funds into the @@DENONYMADJECTIVE@@ Institute of Meteorology. Our weather forecasters have been poorly trained on outdated equipment for years as the Institute languished. We really need better gear; the new Rotating Aerial Inversion Navigator, that's the RAIN-420 doppler radar, is a real beauty, I gotta get my hands on that - oh, uh, and we'll save some lives, too."
Al RokerIssue by: The Interstellar Empire of Drawkland
Editor: Logophilia Lyricalia
Might've missed a few macros. The names SEEM random, but I couldn't find any of them on the name pool. Somebody else would need to post the issue to see where the names are.
I know that "Jordan Brighthand" is intentional because it's a pun from the issue title (based on a song) and Hal Stoker might be, since "Al Roker" is the name of a news anchor.
Again, will need someone to confirm name macros.
Yeah, no randoms there.
by Australian rePublic » Tue May 31, 2016 4:34 pm
by Agadin » Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:32 am
The Issue
After a recent initiative to plant vast farms of avocados in the tundra of Northern @@NAME@@ proved to be a massive failure, people have begun questioning the wisdom and competence of the highly influential Organization for Unilaterally Researching Science, Trade, Agriculture, Land, Investments and Nationalization. Functionaries from all levels of the Party have lined up outside your office, demanding action.
The Debate
1. "Decline!" roars Kim, Vanguard of the Proletariat, your sister, and overzealous People's Commissar of Enlightenment. "For years we have seen the former glory of higher education sink into an abyss of depravity, idiocy and inefficiency. We must promptly act, before the stains of nepotism and petit bourgeois decadence seep out of the faculty chamber and corrupt every inch of the Party! Purge the incompetents and install only the truest of experts on the council. I would be willing to lead the campaign to bring the means of production and research closer together, for the sake of the @@???@@, of course.
2. "Please don't listen to auntie; you know what she's like with her demagoguery," sighs Kim, leading agricultural researcher and also your nephew. "I'll grant you that the arctic avocados weren't my best idea, and Nikita's fixation with corn farming didn't pan out. However, I'm sure things will get better eventually, and you shouldn't punish creative solutions and youthful enthusiasm! Leave us be, and send auntie and the rest of the revisionists for a standard session of re-proletarianization at the mining operations."
3. "Typical. The nomenklatura are unable to see beyond the existing state of things," says Kim, a high ranking Party official that, in a surprising turn of events, has no family connection to you whatsoever. "To advance to the next Historical stage, we must abolish the counter-revolutionary family ties that cloud our judgments and breed corruption. We'll set up mating programs to ensure a healthy flow of offspring and raise all developing @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ as wards of the state. Sure, it doesn't really solve the avocado dilemma, and it might be a tad expensive and complicated to administer, but I'm sure it'll completely eliminate our corruption problem in the long run. Or increase it. Well, there's only one surefire way to find out."
Issue by: The Prosaic Union of Gnejs
Editor: Lenyo
by Bears Armed » Wed Jun 01, 2016 8:30 am
Agadin wrote:#523 A Family Affair
Uh, yeah.
...I'm actually not sure what's going on in that issue. Maybe I'm missing some reference.
by Drawkland » Wed Jun 01, 2016 9:28 am
Agadin wrote:And no idea what's the variable in the 1st option. It outputs the national classification ('Nomadic Peoples' for this nation).
by Utracia » Sat Jun 04, 2016 5:56 am
Minoa wrote:Utracia wrote:Do you guys add these to the NSIndex site? I've been filling in some of the redlinks and adding info in others but I'm not sure how to start a brand new page for the most recent ones (only goes to 512 atm) and I'm feeling a bit frustrated about that. No doubt its simple too.
Hi, go to the main page of the wiki, type "NationStates Issue No. (new number)" next to the "create page" button. I try to make NSindex work like the real Wikipedia.
by Raionitu » Sat Jun 04, 2016 9:31 am
"These chaplains have gotten me thinking," muses the head of the Ocade city chapter of The church of our Glorious Supreme Deity, whose sparkling ten-foot tall hat was recognizable from miles away. "Why don't you place the military under our command? After a massive expansion, we can force all soldiers to convert so we can wage a divine holy war against the heathens and non-believers in The Black Hawks. Then once we've purged The Black Hawks of its sins, we can turn our attention to the blasphemers in our own country. Ahh, the Almighty will surely look upon our work with great favour! All I need is your signature here."
by Greater Arxtain » Sat Jun 04, 2016 3:18 pm
Trotterdam wrote:Be advised: I believe that #520 has a fourth option not reported yet. I'm not sure what makes it show up, maybe having a nation that's already highly religious.
For anyone looking for #511, it's chained from #271 options 3 and 4.
Title: Dogman Deconstructed
With the rising number of masked vigilantes dishing out two-fisted justice, the criminal underworld has responded in kind, with larger-than-life villains. After make-up wearing villain 'The Giggler' flooded a local high school with laughing gas, the public are asking you to take action.
The Debate:
"Look, we're not living in a comic book. This is real life, not a work of fiction," reminds by-the-book police officer Buy Christmas, leaning on one of the four walls of your office. "Let's put a ban on wearing face-concealing masks in public. Put villains and vigilantes into the cells, and let the police handle law and order. We can't allow @@NATIONNAME@@ to descend into mob rule from @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ taking the law into their own hands."
"Compulsory registration," suggests your surprisingly hip Justice Minister, without looking up from reading The Killing Bone, an unofficial Dogman tie-in comic. "We need all the help we can get to deal with these maniacs. Let the vigilantes do what they do, but require them to be registered and identified. Anyone who wears a mask and doesn't register can be assumed to be a villain, and must be met with zero tolerance."
"The police can't handle this." growls Dogman, the nation's first vigilante, who suddenly appears out of nowhere. "Step back, @@LEADER@@. I can deal with Giggler, because I understand how he thinks. Let the vigilantes handle the villains. This is our calling. This is our war." Then, as you turn your back to him for no good reason, he disappears with a puff of smoke.
"I agree with the spandex-wearing Dogman," chimes in the overly patriotic supersoldier turned superhero Captain @@NATIONNAME@@, dressed in a costume resembling the national flag. "You call us vigilantes - the people call us heroes. They trust us far more than the police. The police have become far too corrupt and powerful in this country. That's not what I signed up for. Why not disband the police and allow us heroes to take the villains and the criminals? Sure, some of us might go a bit overboard like that fellow in the in the iron suit, but we're always there to protect the little guy."
"This is about ego," observes armchair psychologist @@RANDOMNAME@@, while smoking a fine Maxtopian cigar. "It's also about superego and id... but mostly just egotism. Give these exhibitionists an outlet for their vanity. Televised arena bouts, celebrity status, and official merchandise are that outlet. They'll be promoting their careers rather than fighting on the streets, and as an added bonus, heroes and villains in the public eye are pretty easy for government to monitor."
Issue by: The Pantransparency of Candlewhisper Archive
Editor: Nation of Quebec
by Christian Democrats » Mon Jun 06, 2016 8:23 am
Leo Tolstoy wrote:Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.
by The Aurora Archipelago » Tue Jun 07, 2016 12:22 am
Title: Something Is Rotten In The State Of @@NAME@@
The Issue
@@NAME@@ has hardly changed its electoral constituencies since King Maxbari IV ruled ancient Maxtopia. After a politician was recently elected to represent 3 people and a @@ANIMAL@@, people have begun debating the merits of reforming electoral areas, and eliminating the so-called "rotten" constituencies.
The Debate
"Aren't we supposed to be a democracy?" shouts political activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has never voted in an election due to living in a town that was an unincorporated bog the last time electoral borders were drawn. "It's inherently unfair that a tiny burrow of inbred farmers gets as many - or even more - representatives as new and major population centres. The government must redraw the electoral map so each seat is elected by the same number of voters."
---
"Isn't that how we got into this mess in the first place, by drawing up boundaries?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the leader of a well-meaning little liberal party that has consistently failed to gain any representation under the current system. "A better idea would be to put an end to the practice of giving seats to different areas, and instead allocate them based on how many votes the parties get nationally. It might lead to complicated coalitions and a risk for complete failure to agree on anything... but at least it will be fair."
---
"How dare these people say such things about our electoral system?" accuses @@RANDOMNAME@@, self-styled Knight of the Shire, elected to represent a miniscule cluster of rickety chateaus in western @@NAME@@. "We need these constituencies to elect representatives that understand and guard our traditional values. Without them, the government will consist of people with common charisma, but no brains. We could do with rearranging the number of seats each constituency get, however. Just to make sure we elect enough representatives that have a proper understanding of our social order."
---
"The right kind of people, yes, hear hear!" agrees Lord Gerry of The Mander, one of your ever-supportive benefactors and campaign donors. "Tradition is grand, splendid in fact. But, election season is nearing, and wouldn't it be nice with a slightly more favourable demographic composition in the voting districts? I've taken the liberty to do a few calculations, and, well, let's just say that a few pen-strokes goes a long way."
by Kainesia » Tue Jun 07, 2016 4:27 am
The Aurora Archipelago wrote:520 is definitely reliant on having a National Religion for Option 4 - I was 2507th (If NS's lag on update time is to be believed, I'm now 2370), so I imagine that you need the national religion for it.
---
Looks like I'm going to report in Issue 524 from TAA. Can't guarentee I've caught all the macrosTitle: Something Is Rotten In The State Of @@NAME@@
The Issue
@@NAME@@ has hardly changed its electoral constituencies since King Maxbari IV ruled ancient Maxtopia. After a politician was recently elected to represent 3 people and a @@ANIMAL@@, people have begun debating the merits of reforming electoral areas, and eliminating the so-called "rotten" constituencies.
The Debate
"Aren't we supposed to be a democracy?" shouts political activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has never voted in an election due to living in a town that was an unincorporated bog the last time electoral borders were drawn. "It's inherently unfair that a tiny burrow of inbred farmers gets as many - or even more - representatives as new and major population centres. The government must redraw the electoral map so each seat is elected by the same number of voters."
---
"Isn't that how we got into this mess in the first place, by drawing up boundaries?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the leader of a well-meaning little liberal party that has consistently failed to gain any representation under the current system. "A better idea would be to put an end to the practice of giving seats to different areas, and instead allocate them based on how many votes the parties get nationally. It might lead to complicated coalitions and a risk for complete failure to agree on anything... but at least it will be fair."
---
"How dare these people say such things about our electoral system?" accuses @@RANDOMNAME@@, self-styled Knight of the Shire, elected to represent a miniscule cluster of rickety chateaus in western @@NAME@@. "We need these constituencies to elect representatives that understand and guard our traditional values. Without them, the government will consist of people with common charisma, but no brains. We could do with rearranging the number of seats each constituency get, however. Just to make sure we elect enough representatives that have a proper understanding of our social order."
---
"The right kind of people, yes, hear hear!" agrees Lord Gerry of The Mander, one of your ever-supportive benefactors and campaign donors. "Tradition is grand, splendid in fact. But, election season is nearing, and wouldn't it be nice with a slightly more favourable demographic composition in the voting districts? I've taken the liberty to do a few calculations, and, well, let's just say that a few pen-strokes goes a long way."
Okay, so either 'Gerry' is a new random name, or that's fixed.
by Drawkland » Tue Jun 07, 2016 5:25 am
Kainesia wrote:The Aurora Archipelago wrote:520 is definitely reliant on having a National Religion for Option 4 - I was 2507th (If NS's lag on update time is to be believed, I'm now 2370), so I imagine that you need the national religion for it.
---
Looks like I'm going to report in Issue 524 from TAA. Can't guarentee I've caught all the macros
Okay, so either 'Gerry' is a new random name, or that's fixed.
I wrote that issue so I got it as well, I think Gerry is a macro. It was fixed when I wrote it, (can't remember what the name was though) but the mods changed it.
by Kainesia » Tue Jun 07, 2016 6:46 am
Drawkland wrote:Kainesia wrote:
I wrote that issue so I got it as well, I think Gerry is a macro. It was fixed when I wrote it, (can't remember what the name was though) but the mods changed it.
It's not a macro - "Gerry of the Mander" refers to "Gerrymandering," which is the practice of unfairly drawing district lines at the line-drawer's whim, which that option describes.
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