[Submitting Soon] Oaths of Office

[West Barack and East Obama]

seeking comment on whether the explicit references to 1984 and Kumbaya are alright (also i wrote this really tired extremely late at night, might be rough, will check back tomorrow)

[title] Oaths of Office

[desc] After the latest legislative session was dominated by Members of Parliament flinging around seven accusations of lying, three allegations of light treason, forty-two utterances of profanities and a comparison between you and "The Butcher of Bigtopia" Lee Terallihitlah, prudes across the nation have united to demand the return of civility to legislative debates.

[validity] has political freedom, has a legislature, moderate rudeness

[option] "Order! Order!" bellows John Werepig, your Minister of Promoting Good Manners. "Our once esteemed legislature has become a complete joke. The constant attacks on others' characters and usage of such vulgar language are completely unacceptable! Respect and civility must be restored before this circus gets even more out of hand. We need to establish a code of conduct and a list of prohibited words which constitute "unparliamentary language", and to censure anyone who breaches these rules."

[effect] legislators can only respond to alternative facts with alternative compliments

[option] "All I said was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!" protests @@RANDOMNAME@@, an MP who recently described an opposing MP as acting like an "agent of Blackacre". "Politicians need to be held accountable and the best way to do that is to get straight to the point. My incendiary language is effective in getting my message across, and I shouldn't be censored just because some snowflakes can't handle the heat. The right of us MPs to say whatever we want in parliament should be protected, no matter what!"

[effect] parliamentary debate transcripts can only be published in adult magazines

[option] "If people want to be civil, you won't need to intimidate them into being silent" sighs peace activist and amateur ukulelist @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE@@ attempts to get the two previous speakers to sing Kumbaya with @@HIM@@. "Our politics have all shifted to the extremes, and people are just spitting venom at their political opponents while forgetting about what's really important - doing what's best for our fellow @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@. If we start a campaign to remind everyone that deep down inside our biggest political rival is just another person, all of this negativity and political polarisation will finally cease. Let's make more peace and less laws, y'all."

[effect] the government is in a permanent gridlock after everyone decided to 'agree to disagree'

[Pacific Haven]

- I doubt the extremely specific numbers are necessary- "accusations of lying, treason, profanities and..." would do fine.

- The fallout for 1 doesn't seem to follow- he says specifically that there should be a list of banned words, and I don't think forgetting to ask to use the bathroom is one of them. The British list of unparliamentary language is really funny and you could take something from that, or alternatively just say something like "the bathroom must now be referred to as the 'water closet' in Parliament..."

- An alternative to the 1984 reference can be "literally Blackacre", or something else from the canon.

- An alternative to the Kumbaya reference could be "as @@HE@@ attempts to get the two previous speakers to wear 'Make Peace Not Laws' shirts"...

- Option 3 is too similar to option 1- they're both "let's all get along nicely". I can't find an alternative for 3, but you could make more about countering the political polarisation- e.g. "Parliamentary solutions to problems involve putting a far-right and a far-left member in a room together". That's a terrible fallout line, I know, but basically I think it needs rewording.

[West Barack and East Obama]

- I doubt the extremely specific numbers are necessary- "accusations of lying, treason, profanities and..." would do fine.

It is not 'necessary' but it is also not harmful to the issue and I quite like the idea of someone specifically counting each instance of unparliamentary language, so I prefer to keep it.

- The fallout for 1 doesn't seem to follow- he says specifically that there should be a list of banned words, and I don't think forgetting to ask to use the bathroom is one of them. The British list of unparliamentary language is really funny and you could take something from that, or alternatively just say something like "the bathroom must now be referred to as the 'water closet' in Parliament..."

The effect of option 1 isn't just a banned list, but enforcing decorum and politeness through a code of conduct as well. So the now hyper polite environment of parliament would give way to effect line 1, where something as inconsequential as forgetting to ask for a bathroom pass gets you thrown out. I did consider using the infamous euphemisms, but I couldn't think of a creative way to incorporate them without just lifting from the list, so I didn't proceed.

- An alternative to the 1984 reference can be "literally Blackacre", or something else from the canon.

- An alternative to the Kumbaya reference could be "as @@HE@@ attempts to get the two previous speakers to wear 'Make Peace Not Laws' shirts"...

Thank you for your suggestions. I don't think the first quite works for what I'm going for, but your second is pretty funny and I'll probably use it. Cheers.

- Option 3 is too similar to option 1- they're both "let's all get along nicely". I can't find an alternative for 3, but you could make more about countering the political polarisation- e.g. "Parliamentary solutions to problems involve putting a far-right and a far-left member in a room together". That's a terrible fallout line, I know, but basically I think it needs rewording.

Not exactly - the first option is a reactive measure, while the third option is a proactive measure. Sort of like how issues about crime have an option to increase police and one to fund social programmes. I think they're distinct enough to keep 3 as it is.

[Verdant Haven]

- Re: your specific questions, I think Kumbaya is fine to reference, as it has become sufficiently genericized that it is used in common speech without necessarily referring to the song. 1984 on the other hand remains extremely specific, and I would suggest avoiding it.

- I agree that the outcomes of Options 1 and 3 could be sufficiently different, but the writing doesn't presently make that distinction as clear as it might need to. I think having the third option make a point of drawing the distinction would help – "censorship is just another form of violence!" or "if people want to be civil, you won't need to intimidate them into being silent" – something like that might make the difference in choice more notable. Emphasize not just how the means vary, but how the ends are different.

[Australian rePublic]

Hey, at least it's not Taiwan where they throw pig bladders at each other. Hey, that's an idea for a fourth option. We're too strict about what happens

[West Barack and East Obama]

Bump

[Verdant Haven]

- In your description, the repeated word "parliament" is a bother – perhaps "latest legislative session" would remove the repeat? I also would add a ^[who?] tag to the "people" that are demanding a return of civility.

- Since the first option focuses largely on language, I would look for the effect line to find humor in that rather than in other aspects of parliamentary conduct. British MPs are rather famous for their attempts to find "acceptable" insults that get around conduct rules.

- To accept the second option, we must accept that there is actually an agent of Blackacre sitting in parliament. I think maintaining the idea of accuracy would be more effective, by using some weasel words here – "acting like an agent of Blackacre" could very well be argued to be true, even if actually being one is disproven or unproveable. If there's a way to make this speaker more sympathetic (it's a free speech argument at its root – that generally plays well without outright demanding to be an asshole).

- Third option: ukuleist -> ukulelist. Also pick a side for the pluralizations in the "politics rivals is just..." line. It is dialectal speech, so you can get away with either, but if this is meant as an educated professional speaker it should read "fewer laws" rather than "less laws" as well.

[West Barack and East Obama]

I have taken most of those suggestions, thank you