TITLE:
Don't Look Up, Citizen
VALIDITY:
computers but no internet, state controlled news
DESCRIPTION:
Your ineffably wise decision to control the flow of information to the unwashed masses has left your populace cut off from the internet and from unregulated news media, creating a populace that only hears what you want them to hear. Unfortunately Helen Moosk, a tech billionaire from the United Federation, has unilaterally declared her intention to give the whole world access to an free unregulated internet through Skylinknet, an array of low-orbiting satellites, easily accessible with simple (and easily concealed) receiver devices.
OPTION 1
"This is a threat to our national information hegemony, giving dissidents and doubters dangerous access to radicalising ideas, terrorist resources, and worst of all, the truth," worries your Minister of Information, anxiously gnawing @@HIS@@ fingernails to bloody stubs. "We can't believe that the United Federation government isn't secretly encouraging Moosk in this endeavour. Why else would a greedy capitalist like her be offering a free service? We need to the pressure the United Federation, and respond to this threat to our national sovereignty with threats to their security. They've a history of backing down when faced with strong and determined nations, and with a few trade blockades and 'military exercises' near their borders we can encourage them to tie Moosk up with red tape, and end her subversive ambitions."
OUTCOME:
diplomacy consists of speaking loudly and carrying a big stick
OPTION 2
"That's a sticking plaster solution at best, and not guaranteed to staunch the haemorrhage of information into our nation," complains your Air Force commander. "Why not deal with the problem more directly? With a little R&D I reckon our boys can eliminate low orbit satellites fairly easily: debris fields for them to crash into, EMP pulses to fry them as they fly, or just a reactive missile command popping them like a 1980s Atari game. Pew! Pew! Pew!"
OUTCOME:
every night is firework night
OPTION 3
"Or maybe we can adopt an approach that DOESN'T antagonise a nuclear-armed economic powerhouse with multiple international allies, how does that sound?" suggests your Minister of Compromise, giving you a soothing upper back massage. "We can't control what those people put into space, but we can certainly limit the ability of our own people to access the network. Strip our nation of computers of all sorts, and all that subversive electromagnetic noise will be nothing more than background radiation, unseen and unheard by our blithely ignorant citizens."
OUTCOME:
a "scientific calculator" is an abacus with a slide rule on the side
OPTION 4
"There's more than one way to skin an internet cat meme," muses your uncle, who has had way too much time on his hands since the internet ban, though his right wrist's longstanding repetitive strain injury seems to have improved. "Let's just let people back on the internet, but put more effort into controlling the flow of information on a global scale. AIs can generate fake news on social media sites, and judicious rumour spreading could allow us to create an online narrative that fools not only our own people but the whole world. After all, that's what the United Federation has been doing for years. Let's get with the program, and turn the internet into a cesspool of misinformation that will drown any dissent."
OUTCOME:
clickbait sites list ten reasons why @@NAME@@ is the happiest nation in the world
