[ABANDONED]Language Labefaction
Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2023 9:47 am
A meeting has been called to discuss the rising illiteracy rates in children across the country, and what can be done about them.
VALIDITY:
LOW INTELLIGENCE
LOW PUBLIC EDUCATION
Option 1 (Invest in a better education system)
"This is an absolute travesty!" shouts your chief of Education, Sydney Oswell. "These are the consequences of a low budget. I mean, these children haven't got a clue about the difference between 'a' and 'z'. This is the future of our country that we're talking about; we can't expect to improve if we can't even comprehend the simplest of things." He shakes his head and continues, "An increase in the education budget is not just necessary, but vital for our future."
children have fun by singing the alphabet backwards.
Option 2 (Do we really need to know how to read? (farmers go brrrrrrr))
VALIDITY: LOW AGRICULTURE
A young man stumbles into the office, but quickly regains his composure, brushing himself off. "Jim Ranch, nice to meet y'all," he says, straightening himself up and putting on a more formal expression. "Now, listen here," Jim continues "Instead of wastin' our time tryin' to fix them illiteracy rates, I reckon we oughta be focusin' on somethin' more crucial. We need to be increasin' funding to them hard-workin' farmers all across this great country. Without 'em, we wouldn't even have ‘em schools to steal our young’ins away anyway." Jim leans forward, emphasizing his point. "See, if we want a piping future, we gotta make sure our farmers got what they need to thrive. It's about time we start investin' in their success, supportin' 'em, and helpin' 'em.
tractors outnumber people in some parts of the country
Option 3 (Fancy guy wants everyone to speak and write fancy)
"By gosh!" exclaims your butler, Cornelius Witherspoon, his voice filled with fervor. "Our great nation is in dire need of a resurgence in refined elocution. Alas, we have regrettably lost the delicate artistry that once adorned the spoken word, a tradition cherished by our venerable ancestors. The days of yore were indeed the epitome of excellence, and it is incumbent upon us to rectify this lamentable state by undertaking a comprehensive overhaul of our entire educational framework. Only by adhering to the esteemed language of antiquity can we reestablish a profound connection with our illustrious past." Cornelius takes a momentary pause, collecting his thoughts with utmost decorum. "I do apologize, sir, for the indulgence in my musings. It was but a fleeting contemplation of thought that you might consider."
average words known per citizen has skyrocketed
Option 4 (Lets just remove letters to make it easier)(Niece just bored being here lol)
"It's just sooooooooo complicated," complains your young niece, who is here due to the babysitter being booked. "Like... let's just eliminate a few letters, do we need them all?" She slumps down on the table before abruptly looking back up. "I mean, who uses 'v' anyway? It's so boring and unnecessary." She slumps her head back down and groans loudly.
many letters are being put on a endangered watchlist
Note: I did use chatGPT to assist me in the making of option 3, as I don't have a massive vocabulary (please tell me if it's not allowed, I could not find anything in the rules that forbade it)