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[SUBMITTED] Don't Judge A Book By Its Gender

PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2023 5:35 pm
by RedBrickLand
Hello Got Issues, I haven't had a go at this in a while so I'm a bit rusty. The seventh draft is up!
Feel free to share feedback! (Btw this will be my contest submission)

[TITLE] Don't Judge A Book By Its Gender

[DESC] A mob of outraged parents have surrounded your office after a local teacher included several books on LGBTQ issues in @@HIS1@@ class's curriculum.

[VALIDITY] has schools

[OPTION 1] "This lunatic must be stopped!" shouts @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@ DeMantis, a father who was outraged after his 7-year-old boy now wanted to be called Stacy after reading a book about a transgender girl. "This teacher's inappropriate books are part of a radical agenda that our nation's kids must be shielded from. @@NAME@@ must be where gross sexual content goes to die! Schools should disallow sexually explicit books and monitor their school personnel for any infractions."

[RESULT] teachers are afraid to teach human anatomy to students

[OPTION 2] "Excuse me, sir, but I am no lunatic," says @@RANDOMNAME1@@. "It is important for children to learn about LGBTQ issues at a young age to create an inclusive environment and prevent discrimination and bullying. @@LEADER@@, we should include these books in the school curriculum to create a safe and protected environment for LGBTQ students." He shows one of @@HIS1@@ students' quirky crayon drawings of a school flying the pride flag, full of smiling students.

[RESULT] school classrooms are filled with rainbow-colored decor

[OPTION 3] "The real concern here is that these books even exist," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, author of Living Like @@A@@ @@DEMONYM@@: The Complete Guide to @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Culture and Beliefs. "We need to remove radical books from our nation and replace them with traditional books to teach @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ about traditional values and beliefs, especially regarding homosexuality. This will help us solve the LGBT issue in the next generation. @@NAME@@ will be proud of championing traditional values in @@REGION@@!"

[RESULT] saying "I love you bro" is considered taboo

[OPTION 4] "No! @@NAME@@ shall instead have pride in being the champion of sexual freedom in @@REGION@@!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, author of Sexual Liberation 101. "@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ society must be freed from traditional values, and a more sexually liberated education for children will be the key to doing so. With this, we can normalize pornography and sex in @@DEMONYM@@ society. These are the roots of a tree of sexual freedom that will spread throughout the nation."

[RESULT] @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ children are seen casually discussing porn


[TITLE] Don't Judge A Book By Its Gender

[DESC] A mob of outraged parents have surrounded your office after a local teacher included several books on LGBTQ issues in their classes curriculum.

[VALIDITY] has schools

[OPTION 1] "This lunatic must be stopped!" shouts @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ DeMantis, a father who was outraged after finding out his 7-year-old boy, who now wants to be called Stacy, read a book about a transgender girl. "This teacher's inappropriate books are part of a radical agenda that our nation's kids must be shielded from. Schools should disallow books that contain gross sexual content and monitor their school personnel for any infractions."

[RESULT] teachers are afraid to teach human anatomy to students

[OPTION 2] "Excuse me, sir, but I am no lunatic," says the teacher himself. "It is important for children to learn about LGBTQ issues at a young age to create an inclusive environment and prevent discrimination and bullying. @@LEADER@@, we should include these books in the school curriculum to create a safe and protected environment for LGBTQ students." He shows one of his students' quirky crayon drawings of a school flying the pride flag, full of smiling students.

[RESULT] school classrooms are filled with rainbow-colored decor

[OPTION 3] "The real concern here is that these books even exist," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a religious parent and author of Living Like @@A@@ @@DEMONYM@@: The Complete Guide to @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Culture and Beliefs. "We need to remove radical books from our schools and replace them with traditional books to teach students about traditional values and beliefs, especially regarding homosexuality. This will help us solve the LGBT issue in the next generation. @@NAME@@ will be proud of championing traditional values in @@REGION@@!"

[RESULT] saying "I love you bro" is considered taboo

[OPTION 4] "No! @@NAME@@ shall instead have pride in being the champion of sexual freedom in @@REGION@@!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@ author of Sexual Liberation 101. "We must free society from traditional values towards sexuality and transgenderism and teach students how to be sexually liberated through books. These books will be the roots of a tree of sexual freedom that will spread throughout the nation."

[RESULT] children seen hugging each other is now considered a red flag


[TITLE] The Rising Tide of Parents Against Gender Identity

[DESC] A large number of outraged parents have gathered outside your office, protesting against a local teacher due to their teaching methods, which include the use of books about LGBTQ people. One such book is titled Call Me Stacy, which centers on a transgender girl.

[VALIDITY] has schools

[OPTION 1] "This lunatic must be stopped!" shouts @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ DeMantis, a father who was outraged after recently finding out why his 7-year-old boy now wants to be called Stacy. "I can't believe that we're allowing our nation's children to learn inappropriate things as part of some radical agenda. Who is the teacher to decide that MY kid wants to read about gross sexual content? Kids should be shielded from these kinds of things! Schools should disallow these books from being used and monitor their school personnel for any infractions."

[RESULT] school inspectors often have to read through thousands of children's books looking for any mention of sexuality

[OPTION 2] "Excuse me, sir, but I am no lunatic," says the teacher himself, who has snuck into your office with the help of his moustache disguise. "It's important for children to learn these things at a young age. It helps create an inclusive environment by allowing personal expression and preventing discrimination and bullying. Students who identify as LGBTQ deserve a learning place where they feel safe and protected. In fact, @@LEADER@@, I think we need to include these books in the school curriculum so that such an environment could be made possible." He shows one of his students' quirky crayon drawings of a school flying the pride flag, full of smiling students.

[RESULT] one's gender is considered like art, free-flowing in nature, an expression of one's heart, and a reflection of it's creator

[OPTION 3] "The real concern here is that these books even exist," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a religious parent and author of Living Like @@A@@ @@DEMONYM@@: The Complete Guide to @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Culture and Beliefs. "We need to remove these radical books from our schools! We must combat them with traditional books." @@HE@@ puts a copy of @@HIS@@ book on your desk. "We need to include such books in the curriculum so students can learn about traditional @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ values and beliefs, especially regarding homosexuality and the like. I'm sure that within the next generation, we'll have solved the LGBT question. @@NAME@@ shall have pride in being the champion of traditional values in @@REGION@@!"

[RESULT] saying "I love you bro" is considered taboo

[OPTION 4] "No! @@NAME@@ shall instead have pride in being the champion of sexual freedom in @@REGION@@!" says @@RANDOMNAME2@@, who has thrown @@RANDOMNAME1@@'s book out the window, replacing it with a copy of Sexual Liberation 101, a book @@HE@@ authored. @@HE@@ then proceeds to act as if doing a monologue. "We must free @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ society from traditional values towards sexuality and transgenderism. To be free is not merely to cast off one's chains but to live in a way that respects the sexual expression of others. We need to teach students how to rid themselves of tradition and be sexually liberated through these books. These kindergarteners shall be the roots of this tree of sexual freedom, whose fruits will be spread throughout the nation!"

[RESULT] teachers often read to children the popular book Mating in Paradise: Unlocking Sexual Freedom


[TITLE] The Rising Tide of Parents Against Gender Identity

[DESC] A large number of outraged parents have gathered outside your office, protesting against a teacher teaching "gender lessons", which included topics such as gender fluidity, gender identity, and gender expression in their local school.

[VALIDITY] has schools

[OPTION 1] "This lunatic must be stopped!" shouts @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ DeMantis, a father who was outraged after recently finding out his 7-year-old was taught about gender identity. "I can't believe that we're allowing our nation's children to learn inappropriate things as part of some radical agenda. Who is the teacher to decide that MY kid wants to learn "gender lessons", which fundamentally amount to cult and ideological grooming? Parents should be the ones to decide, and schools should respect that! They should monitor their personnel to prevent students from being indoctrinated."

[RESULT] asking your teacher "Are you gay?" can get them fired

[OPTION 2] "Excuse me, sir, but I am no lunatic," says the teacher himself, who has snuck into your office with the help of his moustache disguise. "It's important for children to learn these things at a young age. It helps create an inclusive environment by allowing personal expression and preventing discrimination and bullying. In fact, @@LEADER@@, I think we need to include these lessons in the school curriculum so that such an environment could be made possible." He shows one of his students' quirky crayon drawings of a school flying the pride flag, full of smiling students.

[RESULT] one's gender is considered like art, free-flowing in nature, an expression of one's heart, and a reflection of it's creator

[OPTION 3] "The real concern here is that these "gender lessons" have already infiltrated our schools!" says @@RANDOMNAME1@@, a religious parent and author of Living Like @@A@@ @@DEMONYM@@: The Complete Guide to @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Culture and Beliefs. "We need to remove these radical beliefs from the minds of students by instilling beliefs to combat them." @@HE@@ puts a copy of @@HIS@@ book on your desk. "We must require students to learn about traditional @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ values and beliefs, especially regarding homosexuality and the like. I'm sure that within the next generation, we'll have solved the LGBT question. @@NAME@@ shall have pride in being the champion of traditional values in @@REGION@@!"

[RESULT] saying "I love you bro" is considered taboo

[OPTION 4] "No! @@NAME@@ shall instead have pride in being the champion of sexual freedom in @@REGION@@!" says @@RANDOMNAME2@@, who has thrown @@RANDOMNAME1@@'s book out the window, replacing it with a copy of Sexual Liberation 101, a book @@HE@@ authored. @@HE@@ then proceeds to act as if doing a monologue. "We must free @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ society from traditional values towards sexuality and transgenderism. To be free is not merely to cast off one's chains but to live in a way that respects the sexual expression of others. We need to teach students how to rid themselves of tradition and be sexually liberated. These kindergarteners shall be the roots of this tree of sexual freedom, whose fruits will be spread throughout the nation!"

[RESULT] children are commonly seen being lectured about sex by teachers


[TITLE] The Rising Tide of Parents Against Gender Identity

[DESC] A large number of outraged parents have gathered outside your office, protesting against a teacher teaching "gender lessons", which included topics such as gender fluidity, gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation, in their local school.

[VALIDITY] has schools

[OPTION 1] "This lunatic must be stopped!" shouts @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ DeMantis, a father who was outraged after recently finding out his 7-year-old was taught about sexual orientation. "I can't believe that we're allowing our nation's children to learn inappropriate things as part of some radical agenda. Who is the teacher to decide that MY kid wants to learn "gender lessons", which fundamentally amount to cult and ideological grooming? Parents should be the ones to decide, and schools should respect that! They should monitor their personnel to prevent students from being indoctrinated."

[RESULT] asking your teacher "Are you gay?" can get them fired

[OPTION 2] "Excuse me, sir, but I am no lunatic," says the teacher himself, who has snuck into your office with the help of his moustache disguise. "It's important for children to learn these things at a young age. It helps create an inclusive environment by allowing sexual expression and preventing discrimination and bullying. In fact, @@LEADER@@, I think we need to include these lessons in the school curriculum so that such an environment could be made possible." He shows one of his students' quirky crayon drawings of a school flying the pride flag, full of smiling students.

[RESULT] one's gender is considered like art, free-flowing in nature, an expression of one's heart, and a reflection of it's creator

[OPTION 3] "The real concern here is that these "gender lessons" have already infiltrated our schools!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a religious parent and author of Living Like @@A@@ @@DEMONYM@@: The Complete Guide to @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Culture and Beliefs. "We need to remove these radical beliefs from the minds of students by instilling beliefs to combat them. We must require students to learn about traditional @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ values and beliefs, especially regarding homosexuality and the like. I'm sure that within the next generation, we'll have solved the LGBT question. @@NAME@@ shall have pride in being the champion of traditional values in @@REGION@@!"

[RESULT] saying "I love you bro" is considered taboo


[TITLE] The Rising Tide of Parents Against Gender Identity

[DESC] A large number of outraged parents have gathered outside your office, protesting against a teacher teaching "gender lessons", which included topics such as gender fluidity, gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation, in their local school.

[VALIDITY] has schools

[OPTION 1] "This lunatic must be stopped!" shouts @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ DeMantis, a father who was outraged after recently finding out his 7-year-old was taught about sexual orientation. "I can't believe that we're allowing our nation's children to learn inappropriate things as part of some radical agenda. These lessons fundamentally amount to cult grooming and ideological grooming. Schools must be required to monitor their personnel to ensure they are not indoctrinating students."

[RESULT] asking your teacher "Are you gay?" can get them fired

[OPTION 2] "Excuse me, sir, but I am no lunatic," says a mysterious figure wearing a moustache disguise. He takes it off, and DeMantis immediately recognizes him as the teacher. "It's important for children to learn these things at a young age. It helps create an inclusive environment by allowing sexual expression and preventing discrimination and bullying. In fact, @@LEADER@@, I think we need to include these lessons in the school curriculum so that such an environment could be made possible."

[RESULT] one's gender is considered like art, free-flowing in nature, an expression of one's heart, and a reflection of it's creator

[OPTION 3] "The real concern here is that these "gender lessons" have already infiltrated our schools!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a religious parent who is so paranoid that he interrogated his kid's classmates who mentioned homosexuality exists. "We need to remove these radical beliefs from the minds of students by instilling traditional values. And to be sure that the plan works, we need to monitor student behavior and progress at all times. With this plan, I'm sure that within the next generation, we'll have solved the LGBT question. @@NAME@@ shall have pride in being the champion of traditional values!"

[RESULT] saying "I love you bro" is considered taboo


[TITLE] The Rising Tide of Parents Against Gender Identity

[DESC] A large number of parents have gathered outside your office, protesting against school personnel teaching gender identity lessons in schools across @@NAME@@. Many parents have called these lessons "radical gender theory".

[VALIDITY] has schools

[OPTION 1] "These lunatics must be stopped!" shouts @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ DeMantis, a father who was outraged after recently finding out school personnel were instructing his 5-year-old on sexual orientation. "Our nation's children shouldn't be forced to be part of a radical agenda because some group of teachers want so. Parents should be given the power to decide whether their kids are introduced to LGBTQ topics and how they are introduced."

[RESULT] many adults are shocked to find out that gay people exist

[OPTION 2] "These aren't lunatics!" interrupts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a high school student whose gender seems unclear. "They're warriors of freedom and equality, protecting vulnerable trans students from bigots. My teacher's gender identity lessons changed me into who I am today, and banning such lessons would literally kill trans kids. If we instead included these in our nation's school curriculum, students would feel happier and freer than ever before."

[RESULT] students come back from school identifying as a different type of helicopter

[OPTION 3] "These radical activists have infiltrated our school system!" states @@RANDOMNAME@@, your education minister, who seems to believe that anything is part of a conspiratorial plot. "Clearly, these school personnel were part of a larger plot to indoctrinate the next generation with extremist ideas of gender theory. We need to investigate all teachers to ensure they won't convert our children into extremists. Then, we must make sure those we suspect of being part of this plot teach no more. @@LEADER@@ please do it before it's too late!"

[RESULT] teachers who mention homosexuality seem to always go absent without leave

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2023 5:36 am
by Australian rePublic
Can we please have some context about what the kids are actually getting taught?

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2023 1:05 pm
by Verdant Haven
Gender identity and sexual orientation are not the same thing, nor are they necessarily linked in any way. Whether your gender identity reflects the sex you are assigned at birth or not does not indicate your sexual preference in a partner. A person can hetero-, homo-, bi-, a-, or any other sexuality regardless of whether they are cis-, trans-, -fluid, or any other gender identity. It is true that the communities surrounding these two elements are often linked, with things like the acronym “LGBT” representing three sexual orientations and one gender identity, but they are separate topics that often end up being lumped together because those with a given view about one of these tend to also hold a complimentary view about the other. At present the draft seems to mix these things up quite significantly, not only in speech (which may be ok, if deliberately done), but also in the “factual” and effect portions (where it should be as accurate as possible).

There are two other significant issues I see at present:

First, we have no idea what lessons are being taught. We’ve seen plenty of examples in real life of parents who freak out over even the use of a single word that acknowledges the existence of “non-traditional” individuals, while if we were to take the word of the people in this issue we should assume that teachers are literally performing sex-change operations on students. Where is the factual information we need to actually understand the debate? Where is the teacher explaining what the lesson was? The confusion also ties in with the main point above.

Second, even the "pro" viewpoint in option 2 feels like it was written from a strongly anti- perspective, and I suspect it could be offensive to people who actually are members of trans- and other non-cisgender communities (I'm not a member, so I don't want to speak with surety, but it certainly seems to check all the boxes). Knowledge/lessons don’t change a person’s gender, and the idea that allowing discussion of gender issues will somehow make children “identify as helicopters” is the sort of scare-tactic sound-bite that’s right up there with the claim that allowing gay marriage is the same as permitting pedophilia and bestiality. It might be usable as an argument by somebody virulently against those things, but it has no place being stated as a fact in the effect line.

PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2023 6:09 pm
by RedBrickLand
I see your points. I will make the appropriate changes.
Thank you for the feedback! :)

PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2023 7:04 pm
by RedBrickLand
The second draft is up. Feel free to share feedback!

PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2023 8:10 am
by RedBrickLand
/bump

PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2023 12:40 pm
by Urine Town
I’m not sure if there is enough of a difference between options 1 and 3. Are you proposing the increased monitoring of what is taught in class in Option 1, but the complete removal of non-traditional educative means for Option 3?

PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2023 5:06 pm
by RedBrickLand
Urine Town wrote:I’m not sure if there is enough of a difference between options 1 and 3. Are you proposing the increased monitoring of what is taught in class in Option 1, but the complete removal of non-traditional educative means for Option 3?

I see your point. I thought they would be different enough with Option 1 being monitoring teaching, while Option 3 being to remove all "non-traditional" beliefs and (basically) indoctrinating students with traditional beliefs, but I'll make some changes to differentiate the two more.
Thank you for the feedback! :)

PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2023 6:05 pm
by RedBrickLand
I've made some changes, including those suggested by Urine Town.
Third Draft is up. Feel free to share feedback!

PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2023 6:10 pm
by New Texas Republic
I like how the concerned father’s name is DeMantis. Nice reference

PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2023 6:22 pm
by Difinbelk
RedBrickLand wrote:
[TITLE] The Rising Tide of Parents Against Gender Identity

[DESC] A large number of outraged parents have gathered outside your office, protesting against a teacher teaching "gender lessons", which included topics such as gender fluidity, gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation, in their local school.

[VALIDITY] has schools

[OPTION 1] "This lunatic must be stopped!" shouts @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ DeMantis, a father who was outraged after recently finding out his 7-year-old was taught about sexual orientation. "I can't believe that we're allowing our nation's children to learn inappropriate things as part of some radical agenda. Who is the teacher to decide that MY kid wants to learn "gender lessons", which fundamentally amount to cult and ideological grooming? Parents should be the ones to decide, and schools should respect that! They should monitor their personnel to prevent students from being indoctrinated."

[RESULT] asking your teacher "Are you gay?" can get them fired

[OPTION 2] "Excuse me, sir, but I am no lunatic," says the teacher himself, who has snuck into your office with the help of his moustache disguise. "It's important for children to learn these things at a young age. It helps create an inclusive environment by allowing sexual expression and preventing discrimination and bullying. In fact, @@LEADER@@, I think we need to include these lessons in the school curriculum so that such an environment could be made possible." He shows one of his students' quirky crayon drawings of a school flying the pride flag, full of smiling students.

[RESULT] one's gender is considered like art, free-flowing in nature, an expression of one's heart, and a reflection of it's creator

[OPTION 3] "The real concern here is that these "gender lessons" have already infiltrated our schools!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a religious parent and author of Living Like @@A@@ @@DEMONYM@@: The Complete Guide to @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Culture and Beliefs. "We need to remove these radical beliefs from the minds of students by instilling beliefs to combat them. We must require students to learn about traditional @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ values and beliefs, especially regarding homosexuality and the like. I'm sure that within the next generation, we'll have solved the LGBT question. @@NAME@@ shall have pride in being the champion of traditional values in @@REGION@@!"

[RESULT] saying "I love you bro" is considered taboo

New Texas Republic wrote:I like how the concerned father’s name is DeMantis. Nice reference

Seconding this.
Anyway, given that the material's being taught to children "at a young age", using specifically "sexual expression" in option 2 kinda proves the point made in option 1. Either change that to something like "personal expression" to imply a focus on the nonsexual aspects of queer identity (eg. romantic gay love or the 'social transition' period of transsexuality), or split that off into a clearly-more-radical option like "actually, what's so bad about kindergarten sex ed?" Lessons on "gender fluidity[/]identity[/]expression" could be made kindergarten-appropriate, given the
"sex ≠ gender" point brought up earlier, but I can't think of many ways to make reproductive sex age-appropriate, much less recreational sex.
Edit: below is exactly what I was suggesting, something like "Sexual Liberation 101 for Kindergartners"
Terra dei Cittadini wrote:[A] 4th, maverick option would be fun. Like, maybe your highly leftist grandpa comes in and proposes total liberation for queer and marginalized groups? That'd be the ultimate goal for any progressive/lefty, and it'd be a great addition to the pack.

PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2023 6:28 pm
by Terra dei Cittadini
I'd for sure choose the 2nd option, since queers need a safe, accepting environment to thrive! Plus, even the most maverick or moderate conservative would select the 1st or 3rd option.

But yes, this is a good issue, as it covers contemporary subjects that shouldn't be controversy but are anyway.

However, a 4th, maverick option would be fun. Like, maybe your highly leftist grandpa comes in and proposes total liberation for queer and marginalized groups? That'd be the ultimate goal for any progressive/lefty, and it'd be a great addition to the pack.

PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2023 9:52 pm
by RedBrickLand
Thanks for everyone's feedback! The fourth draft is up.
I have added the suggested 4th option regarding sexual liberation.
I have also changed "sexual expression" in Option 2 to "personal expression"

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2023 1:19 am
by RedBrickLand
/bump
This will be my contest entry.
Still looking for some more feedback!

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2023 1:39 am
by Tinhampton
This issue is premised on the fact that schools are "teaching "gender lessons", which included topics such as gender fluidity, gender identity, and gender expression." While teaching about the existence of genders constitutes part of the sex education that many American states are either trying to age-limit or forbid in schools, such teaching in and of itself is not the main concern in practice (nor is it even the sole stated concern, what with other aspects of LGBTQ+ education being targeted as well); the presentation of books and movies in class are the bigger flashpoints in the public imagination. In general, I'd urge you to study for yourself how the Parental Rights in Education Act/Don't Say Gay Bill has actually affected teachers in Florida.

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2023 2:01 am
by RedBrickLand
Tinhampton wrote:This issue is premised on the fact that schools are "teaching "gender lessons", which included topics such as gender fluidity, gender identity, and gender expression." While teaching about the existence of genders constitutes part of the sex education that many American states are either trying to age-limit or forbid in schools, such teaching in and of itself is not the main concern in practice (nor is it even the sole stated concern, what with other aspects of LGBTQ+ education being targeted as well); the presentation of books and movies in class are the bigger flashpoints in the public imagination. In general, I'd urge you to study for yourself how the Parental Rights in Education Act/Don't Say Gay Bill has actually affected teachers in Florida.

Thank you for the feedback. I'll make the appropriate changes.
I just want to clarify that you are suggesting that I focus more on the presentation of learning materials, rather than the teaching itself.
Just want to make sure but thank you for the suggestion.

EDIT: Tinhampton has clarified feedback. I will be making changes soon.

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2023 11:16 pm
by RedBrickLand
The fifth draft is up!
Thank you for the feedback and please feel free to continue to share feedback!
They are much appreciated.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2023 6:00 am
by Kaschovia
[TITLE] The Rising Tide of Parents Against Gender Identity

The title isn't really working, I don't think. Try to make it slightly punchier and a bit more relevant to the premise of the issue.

[DESC] A large number of outraged parents have gathered outside your office, protesting against a local teacher due to their teaching methods, which include the use of books about LGBTQ people. One such book is titled Call Me Stacy, which centers on a transgender girl.

I'd say: "A mob of outraged parents have surrounded your office after a local teacher included several books on LGBTQ issues in their classes curriculum." This way, you can reference possible examples in the options, and expand upon the different perspectives a bit more flexibly.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2023 6:07 am
by Tinhampton
RedBrickLand wrote:EDIT: Tinhampton has clarified feedback. I will be making changes soon.

I said in relevant part:
I'm not saying you should forsake the philosophical aspect of the issue - that's your call, not mine (I learned this the hard way: viewtopic.php?f=13&t=484910) - but I am saying "they're teaching about gender!" is maybe a bit too broad as a focus point. :P


The stylistic points I was going to address earlier: I agree with Kasch on the title and effect line 2 is... aside from being interesting, contains too many commas to be worthwhile (the correct answer is zero, except maybe inside "quotation marks, like this").

PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2023 6:13 am
by RedBrickLand
I have read feedback. Thank you so much for the feedback.
I would like to admit that effect line 2 is one that I did not try at all and kind of gave up because I was too lazy. :p
It truly is interesting haha. :roll:
Also, thank you for the very helpful suggestion from Kaschovia on the description.
Changes will be added soon.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2023 10:52 am
by Verdant Haven
Conceptually I think this is pretty reasonable now. At this point, beware of wordiness nearly throughout.

- The title feels long and lackluster to me. At eight words in length, I feel like I should be getting a solid reference or some "haha" out of it.

- The description could be shortened without losing the dilemma. If this particular book is what triggered the protest, then jump right to it, and leave the specifics of protesting against any and all LGBTQ content as talking points for a specific option.

- Most of the options could be trimmed down. The dialogue tags are where I think some of the excess bloat can be found. The significant majority of options for pretty much any issue should be understandable with only a single dialogue tag. I suggest writing options with one tag, and only adding another only if it contributes to the meaning of the option or helps Leader to make a decision in some way.

- While the third effect line is perfect, both in length and contents, most of the effect lines are also quite long and might not work too well. The first one is long and literal, the second is very convoluted and, as you commented above, those commas are. The fourth has a good motivation, but relies on a lengthy title that doesn't really mean much.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2023 4:42 pm
by RedBrickLand
Read the feedback. Thank you so much.
I will make the necessary changes.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2023 10:04 pm
by RedBrickLand
Thank you all for feedback. The 6th Draft is up!

PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2023 6:20 am
by Verdant Haven
Much better. Only a couple minor items left that I see:

- Description: classes -> class's (a weird one, but a singular ending in s takes an 's possessive)

- Option 1: the randomname should be male for the father

- Option 3: speaker is religious, so this option won't go to atheist nations. Could change their description, or could add an option validity.

- Result 4: I don't follow why hugging would be a red flag in a sexually liberated society

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2023 1:03 am
by Electrum
I think it's pretty close. Might require more characterisation in option 1 and 2. My problem with the issue is option 4. Transgender'ism' is not a thing. Teaching sexual liberation and having sexual freedom is very vague. I don't really think option 4 adds much to the issue as option 2 is far more reasonable. As a side note, the fallouts for options 3 and 4 are very similar, even if they're on opposing ends.