[draft] School Twilight Zone

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

Alt title: Schools Zoning Out

Description: The issue of whether school zones, having lower speed limits near schools, should be into place throughout @@NAME@@ has come to your desk after several incidents of children nearly being struck by vehicles as they try to get to and from school.

Option 1: "This is an absolutely horrible idea!" proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I have enough difficulty getting to work on time as it is! This nation's economy depends on people getting to work quickly or we'll lose too much productivity. In fact, we should get rid of all safety measures near schools, including those pesky crossing guards. These little brats should look both ways if they don't want to get hit by a car. Survival of the fittest, and smartest kids I say. If I hear one more person tell me I need to 'think of the children' Im going to blow a gasket!" he says, visibly flushed and escorted out of your office by medical personnel.

Option 2: "will someone please think of the children!" says concerned parent @@RANDOMNAMEFEMALE@@ proudly displaying a PTA member of the year pin on her blouse. "Our precious babies must be protected from maniacs on the road at all costs!". "Not only do we need mandatory school zones near all of our nation's schools, but we need to hire more cops and institute mandatory jail sentences for anyone caught putting our children's lives at risk!"

Option 3: A random minister @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@ weighs in, before you have the chance of catching which department they're from. "I have the perfect solution". "underground schools"! "Think about it, with all of our schools underground, traffic can pass by above at a normal speed, and our children will be safely tucked away free from cars, sunlight, and anything else that could do them harm." "They don't call me Minister of the Interior for nothing!" he says, before departing down a staircase you didn't know was in your office.

Option 4: "more cops!?, building underground schools!?" Its all so expensive decries your minister of finance @@RANDOMNAME@@."I have a better idea. How about we simply get rid of schools and the department of education completely. Parents can home school, or not school at all. Their choice! And we would have no more need for school zones, or costly upkeeping of school grounds. What could possibly go wrong?"

Alt title: Schools Zoning Out
Issue Validity: Allow Cars, Low Safety Score

Description: Children throughout @@NAME@@ have nearly being struck by vehicles as they try to get to and from school on multiple occasions. Thankfully, no children have been hit yet, but it has become so common that worried parents fear their luck will soon run out.

Option 1: "Will someone please think of the children!" says concerned parent @@RANDOMNAME@@ proudly displaying a ‘PTA member of the year’ pin on @@HIS@@ shirt. “We need mandatory school zones around all our schools that severely limit the speed people can drive when they are near a school, and mandatory jail sentences for anyone caught with the need for speed. More cops stationed at our schools would be good too, to make sure our babies are safe and none of these evil doers gets away with it!"

Option 2: “Evil what now!?” proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look, I have enough difficulty getting to work on time as it is! This nation's economy depends on people like me getting to work as quickly as possible. In fact, we should get rid of all safety measures near schools, including those pesky crossing guards. If these little brats can’t even look both ways to avoid getting run over, what chance do they have making it in the hustle and bustle or the real world? No chance that’s what. We’re better off without them. Survival of the fittest, and smartest kids I say!”

Option 3: A random minister named @@RANDOMNAME@@ weighs in, before you have the chance of catching which department they're from. "I have the perfect solution! Before parents go overboard with this, we go under. Underground that is; by building underground walkways near all our schools to allow the little ones to walk safely to school. Traffic can pass by above at a normal speed, and our children will be safely tucked away free from cars, sunlight, and anything else that could do them harm. They don't call me Minister of the Interior for nothing!"

Option 4: "more cops!?, more construction!?" It’s all so expensive decries your minister of finance @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I have a better idea. How about we simply get rid of schools and the department of education completely. Parents can home school, or not school at all. Their choice! No kids get run over and we don’t have to keep wasting money. What could possibly go wrong?"

Alt title: Schools Zoning Out
Issue Validity: Allow Cars, Low Safety Score

Description: Children throughout @@NAME@@ have nearly being struck by vehicles as they try to get to and from school on multiple occasions. Thankfully, no children have been hit yet, but it has become so common that worried parents fear their luck will soon run out.

Option 1: "Will someone please think of the children!" says concerned parent @@RANDOMNAME@@ proudly displaying a ‘PTA member of the year’ pin on @@HIS@@ shirt. “We need mandatory school zones around all our schools that severely limit the speed people can drive when they are near a school, and mandatory jail sentences for anyone caught with the need for speed. More cops stationed at our schools would be good too, to make sure our babies are safe and none of these evil doers gets away with it!"
Option 2: “School zones near schools are a fantastic start” your education minister @@RANDOMNAME@@ chimes in. “But unfortunately having them simply near schools doesn’t go far enough. Many of our children have long walks to school and that journey can be treacherous. What I propose are nationwide school zone speeds on all streets, not simply the ones near schools, during the hours children are going to and come from school.”

Option 3: “Evil what now!?” proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look, I have enough difficulty getting to work on time as it is! This nation's economy depends on people like me getting to work as quickly as possible. In fact, we should get rid of all safety measures near schools, including those pesky crossing guards. If these little brats can’t even look both ways to avoid getting run over, what chance do they have making it in the hustle and bustle or the real world? No chance that’s what. We’re better off without them. Survival of the fittest, and smartest kids I say!”

Option 4: A random minister named @@RANDOMNAME@@ weighs in, before you have the chance of catching which department they're from. "I have the perfect solution! Before parents go overboard with this, we go under. Underground that is; by building underground walkways near all our schools to allow the little ones to walk safely to school. Traffic can pass by above at a normal speed, and our children will be safely tucked away free from cars, sunlight, and anything else that could do them harm. They don't call me Minister of the Interior for nothing!"

Option 5: "more cops!?, more construction!?" It’s all so expensive decries your minister of finance @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I have a better idea. How about we simply get rid of schools and the department of education completely. Parents can home school, or not school at all. Their choice! No kids get run over and we don’t have to keep wasting money. What could possibly go wrong?"

Alt title: Schools Zoning Out
Issue Validity: Allow Cars, Low Safety Score

Description: Children throughout @@NAME@@ have nearly being struck by vehicles as they try to get to and from school on multiple occasions. Thankfully, no children have been hit yet, but it has become so common that worried parents fear their luck will soon run out.

Option 1: "Will someone please think of the children!" says concerned parent @@RANDOMNAME@@ proudly displaying a ‘PTA member of the year’ pin on @@HIS@@ shirt. “We need mandatory school zones around all our schools that severely limit the speed people can drive when they are near a school, and mandatory jail sentences for anyone caught with the need for speed. More cops stationed at our schools would be good too, to make sure our babies are safe and none of these evil doers gets away with it!"
Option 2: “School zones near schools are a fantastic start” your education minister @@RANDOMNAME@@ chimes in. “But unfortunately having them simply near schools doesn’t go far enough. Many of our children have long walks to school and that journey can be treacherous. What I propose are nationwide school zone speeds on all streets, not simply the ones near schools, during the hours children are going to and come from school.”

Option 3: “Evil what now!?” proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Look, I have enough difficulty getting to work on time as it is! This nation's economy depends on people like me getting to work as quickly as possible. In fact, we should get rid of all safety measures near schools, including those pesky crossing guards. If these little brats can’t even look both ways to avoid getting run over, what chance do they have making it in the hustle and bustle or the real world? No chance that’s what. We’re better off without them. Survival of the fittest, and smartest kids I say!”

Option 4: Your interior minister @@RANDOMNAME@@ weighs in. "I have the perfect solution! Before parents go overboard with this, we go under. Underground that is; by building underground walkways near all our schools to allow the little ones to walk safely to school. Traffic can pass by above at a normal speed, and our children will be safely tucked away free from cars, sunlight, and anything else that could do them harm. They don't call me Minister of the Interior for nothing!"

Option 5: "more cops!?, more construction!?" It’s all so expensive decries your minister of finance @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I have a better idea. How about we simply get rid of schools and the department of education completely. Parents can home school, or not school at all. Their choice! No kids get run over and we don’t have to keep wasting money. What could possibly go wrong?"

[Trotterdam]

I assume that what you're talking about is the practice of having slower speed limits on streets near schools, but it's not particularly clear. Someone not already familiar with the practice wouldn't understand what you're talking about.

I'm not sure if it's better to assume the nation does or doesn't already have such school zones "by default" before the player made a decision on the subject.

Also, I don't see how school zones can be considered "traps". They don't move around much. People who commute the same route from home to work each day should pretty quickly get used to where the school zones along the way are and how long it takes to cross them, and/or work out another route that circles around the school zones rather than passing through them. It might annoy people who have to spend longer driving each day, but it's not just going to randomly cause people who are usually on time to sometimes be late.

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

Thank you so much for the excellent feedback. You make a lot of good points, and I've tried to incorporate them into my edit.

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

Bumping this for feedback

[Verdant Haven]

- This makes more sense as a premise – good change. As a best practice, when you do update a draft, place the previous draft in spoilers below it so we can all see the updates you've made and understand the flow of the drafting process (check other draft threads for examples of this).

- I think the next big thing would be to rearrange some of the information being presented to really focus on the dilemma at hand. It feels odd for a situation that is as severe as "children are being hit by vehicles as they go to school" to be softened and limited to nothing more than a debate about whether or not to have School Zones/speed limits. Surely some people have responses other than that! The zones are one valid potential solution to the dilemma, but probably aren't the dilemma itself. If you move the School Zone proposal to be presented in one of the options rather than in the initial description, that will strengthen the whole thing.

- If you rearrange your options so that the School Zone proposal (with explanation of what it is) comes first, that will give that speaker a much more solid argument. The anti-safety speaker is an interesting one, and generally would work as-is, though perhaps with minor tweaks to explain the benefits they expect to see from a "survival of the fittest" policy here.

- Option three and option four are very much both "crazy options." I don't think we need two of those. Is there a more reasonable solution to the issue that could replace one of them? Perhaps building pedestrian bridges or tunnels over/under the streets so students can cross safely would make more sense than putting entire schools underground. It costs a fair amount, and the construction will make traffic worse before it gets better, but it is a real thing that is done - bonus!

- I don't think any of these speakers need to be gendered. You can use the pronoun macros from the "How to Write an Issue" thread to match terminology to random names.

- There's something very strange going on with your quotation marks in the second and third options. No need to put quotes around every individual sentence when they speaker continues immediately afterwards. The terminal dialogue tags on the first and third options are also unnecessary and don't really contribute – I suggest blending them with the previous tags, or removing them fully.

- This needs the issue validity "Allow Cars," and I would suggest a low Safety score.

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

Thank your for your feedback, I've tried to incorporate it all into my 2nd edit. I hope I didn't miss anything

[Australian rePublic]

Okay, so what about kids who walk to and from school when they exit the school zone/before they enter it? This is a debate had in countries with school zones, and should at least be mentioned here

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

Okay, so what about kids who walk to and from school when they exit the school zone/before they enter it? This is a debate had in countries with school zones, and should at least be mentioned here

I've added an option to reflect this concern.

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

Giving this a bump for feedback

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

I’m going to bump this again for feedback

[Urine Town]

Is the speaker in option 4 actually Leader’s Ministry of Interior, or does he just give himself that title? If he actually is Ministry of Interior, I doubt he would be referred to as a “random minister”

I agree with Verdant Haven in that Option 5 may be too crazy of an option (I love wacky options so I’ve been in that situation before). I believe that “banning schools” could only be properly enforced with public schooling and not private institutions which will inevitably spring up following this wide-scale of a ban

Also do you not plan on adding fallouts until later on in your work? Issues need fallouts

[Juansonia]

No option to ban cars?

I'm thinking something like this could be useful:

"This isn't an isolated incident - automobiles have struck and killed countless people across all of @@nation@@."says @@randomname@@, holding @@his@@ helmet. "I'm surprised that this incident made headlines, given how many just like it happen both near and away from schools. In fact, an Edison almost crashed into me while I was on my way here. Banning cars would be a good way to prevent this from happening again."

[Urine Town]

No option to ban cars?

I'm thinking something like this could be useful:

"This isn't an isolated incident - automobiles have struck and killed countless people across all of @@nation@@."says @@randomname@@, holding @@his@@ helmet. "I'm surprised that this incident made headlines, given how many just like it happen both near and away from schools. In fact, an Edison almost crashed into me while I was on my way here. Banning cars would be a good way to prevent this from happening again."

I agree. Makes a lot more sense than banning public education (or whatever Option 5’s speaker is arguing for)

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

Is the speaker in option 4 actually Leader’s Ministry of Interior, or does he just give himself that title? If he actually is Ministry of Interior, I doubt he would be referred to as a “random minister”

Fair enough, its been adjusted to reflect he is the Interior Minister

No option to ban cars?

I'm thinking something like this could be useful:

"This isn't an isolated incident - automobiles have struck and killed countless people across all of @@nation@@."says @@randomname@@, holding @@his@@ helmet. "I'm surprised that this incident made headlines, given how many just like it happen both near and away from schools. In fact, an Edison almost crashed into me while I was on my way here. Banning cars would be a good way to prevent this from happening again."

I agree with Verdant Haven in that Option 5 may be too crazy of an option (I love wacky options so I’ve been in that situation before). I believe that “banning schools” could only be properly enforced with public schooling and not private institutions which will inevitably spring up following this wide-scale of a ban

My reasoning here is there seems to be a good number of issues that have the option of banning vehicles, and not as many offering the ability to eliminate schools. I was intrigued by what this would do to a nation's intelligence, youth rebelliousness, etc. But I can make the adjustment if the consensus is it would be better to ban vehicle.

Also do you not plan on adding fallouts until later on in your work? Issues need fallouts

Correct. Im happy to add fallouts, I just want to make sure the core stuff is set before I do.

[La Cocina del Bodhi]

Gonna give it a bump

[Verdant Haven]

Effect lines are a critical part of an issue. I know you want to make sure the "core stuff" is set, but they really are part of the core stuff, as they help understand what the option is envisioned to do, and can add humor and continuity to the issue. I would highly recommend getting a draft of those in place.