**ABANDONED** The Only Way is Up
Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2023 5:54 am
TITLE:
The Only Way is Up
VALIDITY:
capitalism, aeroplanes
DESCRIPTION:
The journey between @@CAPITAL@@ and @@ANIMAL@@ City is not a long one, but recent statistics have shown that a significant proportion of travelers prefer to use internal flights rather than take a train to cover the trip.
OPTION 1
"The ecological impact of short haul domestic flights is immense, and wholly unnecessary," complains eco-activist Russell Sprouts, who has personally expelled significant volumes of carbon dioxide and methane into your air space in the last hour. "I suggest banning any flight that can be covered by overland train in less than four hours. They've implemented this in Skandilund, to undisputed environmental benefit."
OUTCOME:
air ambulances are increasingly rare
OPTION 2
"Methinks my lily-livered compatriot doth thrust his rapier too lightly, rather than at the heart of the issue," interrupts fellow eco-activist Lord Winged-Breaker, who has come straight from his weekend LARPing session, and remains in character as a swashbuckling dragonslayer. "These fume-belching airborne beasts need to be brought permanently to ground. You must deny flights of any kind! If the gods of the Third Age of Mankind had meant us to fly they would have made us Birdmen! Have at thee, blackguard!" @@HE@@ pokes your aide with a foam-cladded sword.
OUTCOME:
there's less choice in the supermarket fruit aisle these days
OPTION 3
"Look: train journeys are often more expensive than flights, and almost always far slower," points out entrepreneur, former footballer and media celebrity Ed Lesch-Icken, who was giving a talk in @@ANIMAL@@ City this morning, and is due to attend a charity event in the village of Stittle Woad this afternoon. "I wouldn't make it to my many engagements on time without air travel. But if you want more proles to use the train, then do something about the costs. Subsidise rail travel, and tax air travel. You might break even, and those of us whose careers require airplanes could enjoy quieter flights."
OUTCOME:
lawyers are arguing that planes launched from aircraft catapults should count as rail travel
OPTION 4
"Excuse me for believing in the free market, but why should we punish a more competitive sector for outperforming an outdated one?" asks Kristoff R Brian, founder of budget airline BrianAir. "If anything government should be allowing a level playing field, by reducing the unnecessary bureaucracy around internal flights. Really, there ought to be no more security or checks needed for an internal flight than there is for an internal train journey, and fewer restrictions on where and when we can fly. Free market competition will deliver best prices to customers, and the train companies will be forced to lower their costs and prices too if they want to stay viable. Cheaper is better, and a victory for the ordinary @@DEMONYM@@!"
OUTCOME:
trains charge lower prices for carriages with no seats