The below is still being edited.
[title] Absolutely Bloody Disgusting
[desc] A rat infestation has been plaguing @@CAPITAL@@, and the old ways of rat traps are too inefficient to handle the rodent horde. In search of food and drink, the horde has spread to the crumb-filled @@CAPITAL@@, running around and leaving droppings all over the place. The locals, at large fear of disease and needing to cover their nose completely, have come to you begging for a quick end to this ratpocalypse.
[option] A representative from Extsolu greets you and shakes your hand. "Hello, I'm @@RANDOMNAME@@, and we heard about the vermin infestation. No need to worry friend, we have the perfect solution." @@HE@@ shows you a bag of "Extrat", a pill that can kill rats quickly. "Isn't it interesting, no? All we'll need is some government funding to mass produce and ship them to rodents around @@CAPITAL@@." When someone eavesdropping asks if its harmful to pets, @@HE@@ pretends to not hear them and begins prepping a professionally organized Extsolu-branded suitcase, which is disgustingly filled to the brim with dead rats.
[effect] that's definitely not pet treats in the mail
[option] You hear someone interject in the background, before they rush into your office. "No, no, no!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@,, "That's way too dangerous! What if a dog eats it, what then?
[effect] the worst crime in @@NAME@@ is to enjoy nature's beauty
[option] "I mean, what's laws to stop people? We should tackle this problem at its base." @@RANDOMNAME@@, a confident urban planner, introduces @@HIM@@self as "the savior of cities".
[effect] the current consensus is that "the entire f'ing capital is being rebuilt because of a few f'ing rodents"
[option] "I don't get what the Violet these blabberers are on about. Y'know, we could always pay the residents to do it for themselves." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is carrying the world's most luxurious cheap beer. "Just give 'em each like.. I don't know.. one @@CURRENCY@@ maybe? Make sure we get proof, like its tail. From there, all smooth sailing, probably."
[effect] locals have to embarrassingly explain to tourists why all the rats are tailless