[DRAFT] Copy That

I'm not really thrilled with this. The effect lines feel iffy and writing parts of the issue was like walking through mud. What do you think?
Copy That
Validity: Capitalism.
Description
While heading back to your office with an extra-large quintuple MoonBucksTM Say No to Littering latte that you were suddenly craving for some reason, you're informed that several major companies have recently been imitating the government's televised PSAs to advertise their own products to unsuspecting audiences.
Option 1
"I pour my life into this job!" sputters state media actor @@RANDOMNAME@@, storming off in the middle of a live broadcast to complain to you personally. "These companies are exploiting our credibility to boost sales to gullible fools, and we can't allow it to continue. You have to ban them from producing any advertising that resembles official government content. Those yokels out there are stupid, so we need to protect them from thieving... is that camera still on?"
Effect: the University of @@CAPITAL@@ cannot disclose whether or not its courses are accredited
Option 2
"Our very expensive and very professionally-done advertisements do not violate any laws, as concluded by our legal defense team," smarms corporate spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@, who recently had extensive surgery done to resemble the previous speaker. "You should be taking advantage of the situation and offering to promote products in your PSAs in exchange for a small cut of the revenue. It'll fill your coffers and remove any incentive to produce these ads at the same time."
Effect: drug overdose PSAs are followed by two hours of opioid commercials
Option 3
"The best solution here might be a bit unconventional," says registered foreign agent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You should make these broadcasts as horrifically bad as possible. Loud screeching, strobe lights, terrible acting, unpopular messaging, the works. And play them all day. If people instinctively hate your guts, they won't respond well to people trying to copy you, now will they?"
Effect: @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ turn to drugs to get through the government's anti-drug PSAs