NationStates

I need a better title

[title] The cars are back

[desc] With the number of back alley mechanics and other unprofessional car repairs on the rise, pundits are worried about the safety and roadworthiness of cars on the nation's roads

[validity] must allow cars, capitalist

[option] "These back alley mechanics are cutting into my busin..." Complains certified mechanic @@RANDOMNAME@@ "I mean, these back alley mechanics are conducting unsafe repairs! Last night, I saw someone drive out of a "car repair" shop in someone's backyard with blue-tac and super glue on the muffler! That's not safe! We need stricter laws ensuring all car repairs and maintenance are carried out by licenced mechanics, and anyone with a car defect must have it cleared by a licenced mechanic!"
[effect] it’s illegal to conduct an oil change unless you're a licenced mechanic

[option] "What's the problem, coz?" asks Bhuk Ali, the owner of a backyard business "Supreme Car Repairs" "I fix cars good, coz! Don't believe me? Just ask my customers coz! I got like 50 five star reviews!" He hands you a gear box. "See coz? Only the best parts!”
[effect] after petrol duct tape is the second largest expense amongst the nation's motorists

[option] "Well if you ask me, cars shouldn't be allowed to have repairs performed on them in the first place." Suggest heiress @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, who's known for being out of touch with reality. "If you ask me, any time an automobile receives any damage, it should be replaced with a new one. After all, any automobile without the original part is not as safe as those with original parts!"
[effect] a burnt-out tail light bulb is enough to write off a car

Why doesn't anybody want to comment on my drafts?

Australian rePublic wrote:Why doesn't anybody want to comment on my drafts?

...its been a day, relax.

Edit: Grammatical error fix:

who's known for being out of touch with reality.

Untecna wrote:

Australian rePublic wrote:Why doesn't anybody want to comment on my drafts?

...its been a day, relax.

Edit: Grammatical error fix:

who's known for being out of touch with reality.

Not just this one. Others too. Thanks, I'll fix that error

Australian rePublic wrote:Why doesn't anybody want to comment on my drafts?

Honestly, it is tough to allocate my limited time to comments. It is usually easier to comment on an issue which has good writing but has few issues compared to an issue which has a lot of problems.

You've got eighteen published issues and you haven't thought of a title or run your issue through a grammar checker. As for the issue itself:

Description -- Kind of boring. Why not start with an accident caused by these shoddy mechanics instead?

First option -- a lot of redundancy, especially the last sentence, needs characterisation

Second option -- I understand what you're going for but literally everyone outside of Australia won't understand the parody and the effect line requires a comma which as you well know is not allowed in the effect line

Third option -- Usually third options have some kind creative solution which has some kind of logic, even if it's twisted. Here there is no logic. No person in the world buys a new car when their old one receives any damage.

Aussie, you need to focus on quality rather than quantity of issues. You've got to exercise some judgement and really up your writing game. There's no excuses with how many issues you've written.

Electrum wrote:

Australian rePublic wrote:Why doesn't anybody want to comment on my drafts?

Honestly, it is tough to allocate my limited time to comments. It is usually easier to comment on an issue which has good writing but has few issues compared to an issue which has a lot of problems.

You've got eighteen published issues and you haven't thought of a title or run your issue through a grammar checker. As for the issue itself:

Description -- Kind of boring. Why not start with an accident caused by these shoddy mechanics instead?

First option -- a lot of redundancy, especially the last sentence, needs characterisation

Second option -- I understand what you're going for but literally everyone outside of Australia won't understand the parody and the effect line requires a comma which as you well know is not allowed in the effect line

Third option -- Usually third options have some kind creative solution which has some kind of logic, even if it's twisted. Here there is no logic. No person in the world buys a new car when their old one receives any damage.

Aussie, you need to focus on quality rather than quantity of issues. You've got to exercise some judgement and really up your writing game. There's no excuses with how many issues you've written.

Thanks!!!

For the second option, I'd suggest removing the petrol part and just saying 'duct tape is...'