[DRAFT] State Business

[Akkoro]

State Business

Validity: Capitalism and high corruption.

Description
Olly Garke, CEO of United @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ and one of the nation's most powerful business magnates, has been absolutely instrumental to your rise to power. Now, your closest advisors think that it's time to reward him for his long history of blackmailing your political opponents, helping build your network of international kleptocrats, and willingly attending your niece's birthday parties.

Option 1
"With his industry connections, Olly's a shoe-in for Minister of the Environment!" exclaims Interior Minister and teapot manufacturer Albert Dome, author of a controversial proposal to build a fracking rig through the capitol building. "Having him in the position would let him loosen regulations to his heart's content and probably create lots of new energy jobs for your PR team to play with. Now that's what I call a win-win! Say, if this works out, maybe we could make patronage positions a regular part of our government. I have a deadbeat son who could really use the career boost."

Effect: every member of the Economic Oversight Commission was just indicted for securities fraud

Option 2
"With the amount of media attention he gets, we can’t just give Olly a cabinet spot!" cautions your personal accountant, who was forced to cancel her weekly tennis match with the Justice Minister of Manamana due to an ongoing investigation into her offshore accounts. "We need to be more subtle. How about we announce a big subsidy that just so happens to give a huge handout to Olly's business interests, and tell people that we're trying to "boost @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ industry"? Then we can axe some antitrust regulations and call it a day. Now that's what I call a win-win-win!"

Effect: government critics who complain about finding dead fish on their doorstep are accused of hating local fishers

Option 3
"With how much dirt we've accumulated on him from our dealings over the years, Olly's in no position to complain no matter what we do!" beams your Senior Chairman of Urban Management with a wink, nudging you so hard that you fall out of your chair. "Instead of giving him a 'gift,' we ought to lock down his and his buddies' assets in a sweeping and very public anti-corruption effort. It'll boost our popular support, it'll distract from our other scandals, we can totally fundraise off this, and he won't be able to lift a finger. Now that’s what I call a win-win-win-win!"

Effect: the government is draining the swamp directly into @@LEADER@@'s bank account

[Akkoro]

Reserved for drafts.

[Candensia]

It's a simple idea, but you've executed it competently, and with good humor. It took me longer to decipher "Olly Garke" than I'd like to admit.

Will be watching this one to see how it develops.

[Johill]

Hahahaha as soon as I saw that high corruption was a requirement I was already interested. Btw, the Olly Garke name a good play on words.

[Akkoro]

It's a simple idea, but you've executed it competently, and with good humor. It took me longer to decipher "Olly Garke" than I'd like to admit.

Will be watching this one to see how it develops.

Thanks for the kind words! I think the main area for improvement is the effect lines. 2 especially feels cumbersome to me.

Hahahaha as soon as I saw that high corruption was a requirement I was already interested. Btw, the Olly Garke name a good play on words.

I originally had Oliver Garke, but that seemed too removed from the pun.

[SherpDaWerp]

I'm not sure if I'm sold on Option 1 jumping straight to "screw the environment", especially considering this issue will crop up in environment-loving corrupt nations as much as environment-hating ones. I could imagine the option staying generic ("...a shoe-in for a ministerial position!") and then listing some positions (environment minister being one of them) instead, which might open up other jokes about unqualified ministers (see #1088).

Even if the jokes stay the same, I think it's worth switching over so that pro-environment, pro-corruption nations aren't effectively cut out of choosing that option.

[Daarwyrth]

Olly Garke

Ha! Good one, very clever

has been absolutely instrumental to your rise to power

I am not sure about the "absolutely" part. My advice would be to rephrase it to "has been one of the key figures in your rise to power". It makes it sound less... absolute

author of a controversial proposal to build a fracking rig through the capitol building.

This feels... odd, and kind of out of place. If you want to highlight that it's controversial, say that they want to build it in a protected park, or something along those lines.

Option 3
"With how much dirt we've accumulated on him from our dealings over the years, Olly's in no position to complain no matter what we do!" beams your Senior Chairman of Urban Management with a wink, nudging you so hard that you fall out of your chair. "Instead of giving him a 'gift,' we ought to lock down his and his buddies' assets in a sweeping and very public anti-corruption effort. It'll boost our popular support, it'll distract from our other scandals, we can totally fundraise off this, and he won't be able to lift a finger. Now that’s what I call a win-win-win-win!"

To be frank, I don't think an issue idea like this needs a "lower the corruption" option. I think it would be a fun idea to go full on "we embraced corruption" in this one, and present an option that furthers that mentality as option 3. Sure, you can keep the "we need to remove him cause you owe him too much", but maybe you could say something about a new - naive - rising star behind Olly's operation that could replace him and be @@LEADER@@'s puppet.

Overall, a very interesting idea! Keep working on this draft, as I really like this one