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[DRAFT] @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Lick

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.
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Doge Land
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[DRAFT] @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Lick

Postby Doge Land » Fri Sep 17, 2021 5:26 pm

For reference

EDIT: I'd be willing to change the title from "@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Lick" to something like "Where'd all the Soap Dispensers Go?" or "Bathroom Vandals!" to future-proof the issue.

If phones don't apply to the "No Computers" policy (which I assume they do), let me know and I'll fix it.
[issue validity] must not have "No Computers" policy and must not have "No Internet" policy

[description] Vandalism rates in schools have skyrocketed as a new trend spreads around @@NAME@@ like wildfire. The trend includes students destroying and/or stealing items from schools, particularly bathrooms, and filming it and posting it on Tick Tock.

[option 1A] "These kids must be stopped!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I swear, I don't care what it takes, hell, even put these kids in jail, whatever it takes for them to stop vandalizing! This is clearly against the law!"

[option 1A validity] must not have "No Prison" policy
[option 1A effect] school-age children fill up the prisons as soap dispensers disappear across @@NAME@@

[option 1B] "I swear, if you don't stop these kids, I'll expel them all!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Then what will you do when there's no one smart enough to take your place, huh?"

[option 1B validity] must have "No Prison" policy
[option 1B effect] child labor is back in @@NAME@@ as literacy rates drop below 0

[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job! We should replace them with people who know what they're doing, like my essential oils specialist!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

[option 2 effect] students in @@NAME@@ learn about how disease is treated using poison ivy

[option 3] "I swear, it's these damn e-lec-tronics," says old man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Everything would be so much better if we just went back the old days, where nobody had to worry about this stuff happening because the trouble-makers could be... well, you get what I mean."

[option 3 effect] phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned


-----

PAST DRAFTS

[issue validity] must not have "No Computers" policy and must not have "No Internet" policy

[description] Vandalism rates in schools have skyrocketed as a new trend spreads around @@NAME@@ like wildfire. The trend includes students destroying and stealing items from schools, particularly bathrooms, and filming it and posting it on Tick Tock.

[option 1A] "These kids must be stopped!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I swear, I don't care what it takes, hell, even put these kids in jail, whatever it takes for them to stop vandalizing! This is clearly against the law!"

[option 1A validity] must not have "No Prison" policy
[option 1A effect] school-age children fill up the prisons as soap dispensers disappear across @@NAME@@

[option 1B] "I swear, if you don't stop these kids, I'll expel them all!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Then what will you do when there's no one smart enough to take your place, huh?"

[option 1B validity] must have "No Prison" policy
[option 1B effect] child labor is back in @@NAME@@ as literacy rates drop below 0

[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

[option 2 effect] students are told to "hold it" as the toilets in @@NAME@@ have disappeared from school bathrooms

[option 3] "I swear, it's these damn e-lec-tronics," says old man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Everything would be so much better if we just went back the old days, where nobody had to worry about this stuff happening because the trouble-makers could be... well, you get what I mean."

[option 3 effect] phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned

[option 4] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims Tick Tock CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you, we're removing all content from our platform that follows this trend!" @@HE@@ states as @@HIS@@ assistant is laughing in the corner at the latest videos from the trend on Tick Tock. "Uhh... ignore that." @@HE@@ gives a glare at @@HIS@@ assistant.

[option 4 effect] everything in @@NAME@@ is uploaded to the internet without fear of censorship from corporations


[issue validity] must not have "No Computers" policy and must not have "No Internet" policy

[description] Vandalism rates in schools have skyrocketed as a new trend spreads around @@NAME@@ like wildfire. The trend includes students destroying and stealing items from schools, particularly bathrooms, and filming it and posting it on Tick Tock.

[option 1A] "These kids must be stopped!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I swear, I don't care what it takes, hell, even put these kids in jail, whatever it takes for them to stop vandalizing! This is clearly against the law!"

[option 1A validity] must not have "No Prison" policy
[option 1A effect] school-age children fill up the prisons as soap dispensers disappear across @@NAME@@

[option 1B] "I swear, if you don't stop these kids, I'll expel them all!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Then what will you do when there's no one smart enough to take your place, huh?"

[option 1B validity] must have "No Prison" policy
[option 1B effect] child labor is back in @@NAME@@ as literacy rates drop below 0

[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

[option 2 effect] students are told to "hold it" as the toilets in @@NAME@@ have disappeared from school bathrooms

[option 3] "I swear, it's these damn e-lec-tronics," says old man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Everything would be so much better if we just went back the old days, where nobody had to worry about this stuff happening because the trouble-makers could be... well, you get what I mean."

[option 3 effect] phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned

[option 4A] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims Tick Tock CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you, we're removing all content from our platform that follows this trend!" @@HE@@ states as @@HIS@@ assistant is laughing in the corner at the latest videos from the trend on Tick Tock. "Uhh... ignore that." @@HE@@ gives a glare at @@HIS@@ assistant.

[option 4A validity] Must not have policy "Socialism"
[option 4A effect] everything in @@NAME@@ is uploaded to the internet without fear of censorship from corporations

[option 4B] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims Tick Tock CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you @@LEADER@@, we're removing all content from the platform that follows this trend! Right?" @@HE@@ looks at @@HIS@@ assistant to back @@HIM@@ up. "What? Oh yeah!" @@HIS@@ assistant says as they have one hand holding up their phone and watching the latest videos from the trend.

[option 4B validity] Must have policy "Socialism"
[option 4B effect] the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government has given up on letting corporations have some form of autonomy


[issue validity] must not have "No Computers" policy and must not have "No Internet" policy

[description] Vandalism rates in schools have skyrocketed as a new trend spreads around @@NAME@@ like wildfire. The trend includes students destroying and stealing items from schools, particularly bathrooms, and filming it and posting it on WhoTube.

[option 1A] "These kids must be stopped!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I swear, I don't care what it takes, hell, even put these kids in jail, whatever it takes for them to stop vandalizing! This is clearly against the law!"

[option 1A validity] must not have "No Prison" policy
[option 1A effect] school-age children fill up the prisons as soap dispensers disappear across @@NAME@@

[option 1B] "I swear, if you don't stop these kids, I'll expel them all!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Then what will you do when there's no one smart enough to take your place, huh?"

[option 1B validity] must have "No Prison" policy
[option 1B effect] child labor is back in @@NAME@@ as literacy rates drop below 0

[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

[option 2 effect] students are told to "hold it" as the toilets in @@NAME@@ have disappeared from school bathrooms

[option 3] "I swear, it's these damn e-lec-tronics," says old man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Everything would be so much better if we just went back the old days, where nobody had to worry about this stuff happening because the trouble-makers could be... well, you get what I mean."

[option 3 effect] phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned

[option 4A] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims WhoTube CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you, we're removing all content from our platform that follows this trend!" @@HE@@ states as @@HIS@@ assistant is laughing in the corner at the latest videos from the trend on WhoTube. "Uhh... ignore that." @@HE@@ gives a glare at @@HIS@@ assistant.

[option 4A validity] Must not have policy "Socialism"
[option 4A effect] everything in @@NAME@@ is uploaded to the internet without fear of censorship from corporations

[option 4B] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims WhoTube CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you @@LEADER@@, we're removing all content from the platform that follows this trend! Right?" @@HE@@ looks at @@HIS@@ assistant to back @@HIM@@ up. "What? Oh yeah!" @@HIS@@ assistant says as they have one hand holding up their phone and watching the latest videos from the trend.

[option 4B validity] Must have policy "Socialism"
[option 4B effect] the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government has given up on letting corporations have some form of autonomy


[issue validity] must not have "No Computers" policy and must not have "No Internet" policy

[description] Vandalism rates in schools have skyrocketed as a new trend spreads around @@NAME@@ like wildfire. The trend includes students destroying and stealing items from schools, particularly bathrooms, and filming it and posting it on WeTube.

[option 1A] "These kids must be stopped!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I swear, I don't care what it takes, hell, even put these kids in jail, whatever it takes for them to stop vandalizing! This is clearly against the law!"

[option 1A validity] must not have "No Prison" policy
[option 1A effect] school-age children fill up the prisons as soap dispensers disappear across @@NAME@@

[option 1B] "I swear, if you don't stop these kids, I'll expel them all!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Then what will you do when there's no one smart enough to take your place, huh?"

[option 1B validity] must have "No Prison" policy
[option 1B effect] child labor is back in @@NAME@@ as literacy rates drop below 0

[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

[option 2 effect] students are told to "hold it" as the toilets in @@NAME@@ have disappeared from school bathrooms

[option 3] "I swear, it's these damn e-lec-tronics," says old man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Everything would be so much better if we just went back the old days, where nobody had to worry about this stuff happening because the trouble-makers could be... well, you get what I mean."

[option 3 effect] phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned

[option 4A] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims WeTube CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you, we're removing all content from our platform that follows this trend!" @@HE@@ states as @@HIS@@ assistant is laughing in the corner at the latest videos from the trend on WeTube. "Uhh... ignore that." @@HE@@ gives a glare at @@HIS@@ assistant.

[option 4A validity] Must not have policy "Socialism"
[option 4A effect] everything in @@NAME@@ is uploaded to the internet without fear of censorship from corporations

[option 4B] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims WeTube CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you @@LEADER@@, we're removing all content from the platform that follows this trend! Right?" @@HE@@ looks at @@HIS@@ assistant to back @@HIM@@ up. "What? Oh yeah!" @@HIS@@ assistant says as they have one hand holding up their phone and watching the latest videos from the trend.

[option 4B validity] Must have policy "Socialism"
[option 4B effect] the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government has given up on letting corporations have some form of autonomy


[issue validity] must not have "No Computers" policy and must not have "No Internet" policy

[description] Vandalism rates in schools have skyrocketed as a new trend spreads around @@NAME@@ like wildfire. The trend includes students destroying and stealing items from schools, particularly bathrooms, and filming it and posting it on WeTube.
[option 1A] "These kids must be stopped!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I swear, I don't care what it takes, hell, even put these kids in jail, whatever it takes for them to stop vandalizing! This is clearly against the law!"

[option 1A validity] must not have "No Prison" policy
[option 1A effect] school-age children fill up the prisons as soap dispensers disappear across @@NAME@@

[option 1B] "I swear, if you don't stop these kids, I'll expel them all!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Then what will you do when there's no one smart enough to take your place, huh?"

[option 1B validity] must have "No Prison" policy
[option 1B effect] child labor is back in @@NAME@@ as literacy rates drop below 0

[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

[option 2 effect] students are told to "hold it" as the toilets in @@NAME@@ have disappeared from school bathrooms

[option 3] "I swear, it's these damn e-lec-tronics," says old man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Everything would be so much better if we just went back the old days, where nobody had to worry about the kids' brains rotting because some idiot did a stupid thing."

[option 3 effect] phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned

[option 4A] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims WeTube CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you, we're removing all content from our platform that follows this trend!" @@HE@@ states as @@HIS@@ assistant is laughing in the corner at the latest videos from the trend on WeTube.

[option 4A validity] Must not have policy "Socialism"
[option 4A effect] everything in @@NAME@@ is uploaded to the internet without fear of censorship from corporations

[option 4B] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims WeTube CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you @@LEADER@@, we're removing all content from the platform that follows this trend! Right?" @@HE@@ looks at @@HIS@@ assistant to back @@HIM@@ up. "What? Oh yeah!" @@HIS@@ assistant says as they have one hand holding up their phone and watching the latest videos from the trend.

[option 4B validity] Must have policy "Socialism"
[option 4B effect] the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government has given up on letting corporations have some form of autonomy


[issue validity] must not have "No Computers" policy and must not have "No Internet" policy

[description] Vandalism rates in schools have skyrocketed as a new trend spreads around @@NAME@@ like wildfire. The trend includes students destroying and stealing items from schools, particularly bathrooms, and filming it and posting it on WeTube. WeTube is blamed for not stopping the spread of the trend and not deleting any videos that promote it.

[option 1A] "These kids must be stopped!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I swear, I don't care what it takes, hell, even put these kids in jail, whatever it takes for them to stop vandalizing! This is clearly against the law!"

[option 1A validity] must not have "No Prison" policy
[option 1A effect] school-age children fill up the prisons as soap dispensers disappear across @@NAME@@

[option 1B] "I swear, if you don't stop these kids, I'll expel them all!" exclaims @@CAPITAL@@ school district superintendent @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Then what will you do when there's no one smart enough to take your place, huh?"

[option 1B validity] must have "No Prison" policy
[option 1B effect] child labor is back in @@NAME@@ as literacy rates drop below 0

[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

[option 2 effect] students are told to "hold it" as the toilets in @@NAME@@ have disappeared from school bathrooms

[option 3] "I swear, it's these damn e-lec-tronics," says old man @@RANDOMMALENAME@@. "Everything would be so much better if we just went back the old days, where nobody had to worry about the kids' brains rotting because some idiot did a stupid thing."

[option 3 effect] phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned

[option 4A] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims WeTube CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you, we're removing all content from our platform that follows this trend!" @@HE@@ states as @@HIS@@ assistant is laughing in the corner at the latest videos from the trend on WeTube.

[option 4A validity] Must not have policy "Socialism"
[option 4A effect] everything in @@NAME@@ is uploaded to the internet without fear of censorship from corporations

[option 4B] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims WeTube CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you @@LEADER@@, we're removing all content from the platform that follows this trend! Right?" @@HE@@ looks at @@HIS@@ assistant to back @@HIM@@ up. "What? Oh yeah!" @@HIS@@ assistant says as they have one hand holding up their phone and watching the latest videos from the trend.

[option 4B validity] Must have policy "Socialism"
[option 4B effect] the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government has given up on letting corporations have some form of autonomy


This is my first issue I've put some serious effort into, so all input is appreciated!
Last edited by Doge Land on Wed Oct 13, 2021 5:57 pm, edited 12 times in total.
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Doge Land
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Postby Doge Land » Fri Sep 17, 2021 6:40 pm

[reserved]
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The Python
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Postby The Python » Fri Sep 17, 2021 6:50 pm

Don't really have much feedback, but this looks very good!
See more information here.

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Bears Armed
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Postby Bears Armed » Sat Sep 18, 2021 2:34 am

re WeTube: I think that there are already issues using "WhoTube".
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Doge Land
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Postby Doge Land » Sat Sep 18, 2021 4:27 am

Bears Armed wrote:re WeTube: I think that there are already issues using "WhoTube".


Ah. I'll fix that now. Python mentioned it on Discord but I didn't think much about it, but since it's backed up I'll go ahead and switch it.
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Doge Land
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Postby Doge Land » Tue Sep 21, 2021 6:35 pm

/bump

if there's no more input i'm planning on submitting this on friday
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The Python
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Postby The Python » Tue Sep 21, 2021 7:42 pm

Doge Land wrote:/bump

if there's no more input i'm planning on submitting this on friday

That's way too soon imo, wait at least a few weeks if this is ur first issue.
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Doge Land
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Postby Doge Land » Wed Sep 22, 2021 3:51 am

The Python wrote:
Doge Land wrote:/bump

if there's no more input i'm planning on submitting this on friday

That's way too soon imo, wait at least a few weeks if this is ur first issue.


if this was actively getting feedback then i'd wait more time. but it's not; what's the difference between submitting it soon if it gets no more feedback and submitting it in a few weeks when it's on the 3rd page of the forum?

i'll wait until monday so people can have the weekend to make rounds through the forum unless I get feedback
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Postby Outer Sparta » Wed Sep 22, 2021 6:18 am

Why not also include the main culprit of social media called Tik Tok? You can add a new NS company/social media to the mix along with existing ones like WhoTube and Twitcher. I'm not sure what to call NS Tik Tok (Tick Tock, Max Mox?) but I feel that would be a good addition.
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Doge Land
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Postby Doge Land » Wed Sep 22, 2021 11:34 am

Outer Sparta wrote:Why not also include the main culprit of social media called Tik Tok? You can add a new NS company/social media to the mix along with existing ones like WhoTube and Twitcher. I'm not sure what to call NS Tik Tok (Tick Tock, Max Mox?) but I feel that would be a good addition.


I was thinking of the name "Tick Tock" while drafting but I wasn't sure if I wanted to put it in. I'll wait for a bit of input, if any wants to be given by anyone else, and then I'll add it in.
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Bears Armed
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Postby Bears Armed » Wed Sep 22, 2021 1:35 pm

Outer Sparta wrote:I'm not sure what to call NS Tik Tok (Tick Tock, Max Mox?)
Tiki Taki? Tok Tik?
The Confrederated Clans (and other Confrederated Bodys) of the Free Bears of Bears Armed
(includes The Ursine NorthLands) Demonym = Bear[s]; adjective = ‘Urrsish’.
Population = just under 20 million. Economy = only Thriving. Average Life expectancy = c.60 years. If the nation is classified as 'Anarchy' there still is a [strictly limited] national government... and those aren't "biker gangs", they're traditional cross-Clan 'Warrior Societies', generally respected rather than feared.
Author of some GA Resolutions, via Bears Armed Mission; subject of an SC resolution.
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Postby Kors » Wed Sep 22, 2021 3:20 pm

Bears Armed wrote:
Outer Sparta wrote:I'm not sure what to call NS Tik Tok (Tick Tock, Max Mox?)
Tiki Taki? Tok Tik?

Clikclak
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Postby Doge Land » Sun Sep 26, 2021 5:20 am

Alright, finally got around to editing this. I changed WhoTube to Tick Tock.
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Postby Kors » Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:03 am

Devious licks is horrible
This issue's great.
Hello. I'm Kors. Welcome to my sig.It's a normal sig, a completely ordinary sig, an indifferent sig. You won't find anything different in this sig. MY LEADER AND MILITARY ARE IN MY OVERVIEW FACTBOOK!!!!!!!
If any post is written about you, unless it is not relating to you or of very low effort, you do NOT have the right to /stillme anybody. This is ridiculous.
news
Planned obsolescence banned in Kors : Several unknown satellites crash land into highest mountain in Iceland : Korsian welfare programs cut spending by 50% : Terrorist attacks on the Korsian governmental building result in the enaction of the emergency measures act : Carbon monoxide threat in southern Kors due to wildfires : Giant potato rolls off and chases farmer off mountain into the city, crushing and mortally injuring 3

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Outer Sparta
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Postby Outer Sparta » Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:11 am

Doge Land wrote:Alright, finally got around to editing this. I changed WhoTube to Tick Tock.

That makes more sense given the actual phenomenon is spread all around Tik Tok, a social media site with lots of disgusting trends and weird stuff attracting a lot of attention. As for your issue itself, I would suggest beefing up your options to make them a little big longer with some more content. If you want, I could brainstorm ideas, but that's one of my suggestions.

Can you explain the difference between 4A and 4B? I know you distinguish it as having the socialism/capitalism policy, but I don't see any distinct differences that relate to one having socialism or capitalism.
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Doge Land
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Postby Doge Land » Sun Sep 26, 2021 5:25 pm

Outer Sparta wrote:
Doge Land wrote:Alright, finally got around to editing this. I changed WhoTube to Tick Tock.

That makes more sense given the actual phenomenon is spread all around Tik Tok, a social media site with lots of disgusting trends and weird stuff attracting a lot of attention. As for your issue itself, I would suggest beefing up your options to make them a little big longer with some more content. If you want, I could brainstorm ideas, but that's one of my suggestions.

Can you explain the difference between 4A and 4B? I know you distinguish it as having the socialism/capitalism policy, but I don't see any distinct differences that relate to one having socialism or capitalism.


You know what, now that I think about it, I don't know why I put 4A and 4B there. I just put them both into 4 and removed the capitalist/socialist gating.
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:36 am

Kors wrote:
Bears Armed wrote:Tiki Taki? Tok Tik?

Clikclak

Flip Flop! :P
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Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
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Koodcistand
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 2
Founded: Sep 17, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Koodcistand » Tue Sep 28, 2021 11:33 am

i really like this

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Doge Land
Envoy
 
Posts: 333
Founded: Feb 15, 2019
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Doge Land » Fri Oct 01, 2021 1:30 pm

I'll go with [LAST CALL]. I'll submit this on the 3rd or 4th, unless someone says that this is definitely not ready for submission and requires major revisions- which with the previous comments, doesn't appear to be the case.
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Daarwyrth
Minister
 
Posts: 2416
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Oct 01, 2021 1:57 pm

[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

This option feels a little bit like the Dismiss button, as essentially it doesn't do anything. I'm missing an action here from the government. The mother says that it's the teachers' fault. Why? What are they doing wrong? How can that be remedied? If for example the issue is "teachers are doing a bad job because they don't understand youth trends", then perhaps she could suggest mandatory training for teachers to understand youth fads. It's only an example, of course, but I currently option 2 isn't doing anything, I feel.

phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned

If something is banned or prohibited, then I would say it's not stolen when it is taken away. I would advise you to change "stolen" to "impounded" and "burned" to "destroyed".

[option 4] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims Tick Tock CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you, we're removing all content from our platform that follows this trend!" @@HE@@ states as @@HIS@@ assistant is laughing in the corner at the latest videos from the trend on Tick Tock. "Uhh... ignore that." @@HE@@ gives a glare at @@HIS@@ assistant.

The same as with option 2: I am missing a government action. Essentially, the Tick Tock CEO is doing your job for you in the text. As this is an option presented to the government, namely @@LEADER@@, they should be the ones doing something. Because now it's more of a statement than a proposed action.

My advice would be to wait with submission a little longer, as I believe this draft could benefit from a little more polishing and feedback. It's an interesting subject, but the execution of it in this draft still needs a little work :)
The Royal State of Daarwyrth
Forest's Minister of Foreign Affairs

Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Capital: Daarsted | Current year: 2022 CE
  • Daarwyrth
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Doge Land
Envoy
 
Posts: 333
Founded: Feb 15, 2019
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Doge Land » Fri Oct 01, 2021 2:41 pm

Daarwyrth wrote:
[option 2] "What? No, don't do that to my baby!" yells @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ as her teenage son clenches onto her waist. "He didn't do anything! It's the teachers' faults for not doing their job!" Her son has a large smirk on his face as he looks around the room.

This option feels a little bit like the Dismiss button, as essentially it doesn't do anything. I'm missing an action here from the government. The mother says that it's the teachers' fault. Why? What are they doing wrong? How can that be remedied? If for example the issue is "teachers are doing a bad job because they don't understand youth trends", then perhaps she could suggest mandatory training for teachers to understand youth fads. It's only an example, of course, but I currently option 2 isn't doing anything, I feel.

phones in @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ students' possession are stolen and burned

If something is banned or prohibited, then I would say it's not stolen when it is taken away. I would advise you to change "stolen" to "impounded" and "burned" to "destroyed".

[option 4] "What? No, no, no, that's too extreme!" exclaims Tick Tock CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I can assure you, we're removing all content from our platform that follows this trend!" @@HE@@ states as @@HIS@@ assistant is laughing in the corner at the latest videos from the trend on Tick Tock. "Uhh... ignore that." @@HE@@ gives a glare at @@HIS@@ assistant.

The same as with option 2: I am missing a government action. Essentially, the Tick Tock CEO is doing your job for you in the text. As this is an option presented to the government, namely @@LEADER@@, they should be the ones doing something. Because now it's more of a statement than a proposed action.

My advice would be to wait with submission a little longer, as I believe this draft could benefit from a little more polishing and feedback. It's an interesting subject, but the execution of it in this draft still needs a little work :)


I'll think about ways to change around those options. I'll give this a few more days so I can fix up the options you mentioned and if anyone wants to come in and give a bit more feedback on the issue.
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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23650
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Oct 05, 2021 7:00 am

Seems a bit too similar to #550 to me. People misbehaving to post online, more or less.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Doge Land
Envoy
 
Posts: 333
Founded: Feb 15, 2019
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Doge Land » Wed Oct 06, 2021 1:59 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Seems a bit too similar to #550 to me. People misbehaving to post online, more or less.


I believe that this issue is different from 550; 550 deals with just stupid things being posted online while this deals more or less about kids vandalizing their schools, albeit because of an online trend.
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Random Country 453632
Envoy
 
Posts: 247
Founded: Jun 09, 2020
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Random Country 453632 » Wed Oct 06, 2021 7:12 pm

Title idea: Terrible Toilet Trends

if they steal toilets, too. I have a bad reading attention span lol

Also, the options seem to be very, very short. Like 1-2 sentences. A usual option is about 3-5 sentences.
Last edited by Random Country 453632 on Wed Oct 06, 2021 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
RandomCountry453632
Local news: 2024 national spit-at-a-bat contest postponed due to recent incident of bats projectile-vomiting at two people
Random Guy makes controversial statement about the S key of his computer

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Doge Land
Envoy
 
Posts: 333
Founded: Feb 15, 2019
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Doge Land » Thu Oct 07, 2021 4:04 pm

Random Country 453632 wrote:Title idea: Terrible Toilet Trends


Eh... I mean, it's alright, but it could be better, you know? I don't think the issue has a mention of toilets either (lol)

Random Country 453632 wrote:Also, the options seem to be very, very short. Like 1-2 sentences. A usual option is about 3-5 sentences.


Depends on the issue, I'd say. Although none of the options are 1 sentence; they're more like 2-4 sentences.
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