[DRAFT] Just Scoot Me!

[Dabarastan]

This issue is co-authored by Jim the Baptist.

Must have policy Capitalism

The issue
Ride-share scooters have flooded the @@demonymadjective@@ market and are lying abandoned on @@capital@@'s streets, resulting in you tripping over one on your way into work this morning. Appalled and shocked onlookers have now gathered outside your office to complain about what they are calling the "hideous death-mobiles".

1- Witness to the ordeal, Quinn McCracken, who also claims to be your number one fan, has arrived to express their outrage and concern. "I saw the whole thing like it was in slow-motion. First you started to fall over, and then you fell over. It was awful! Frankly, ride-share scooters have become a menace to society, not to mention a threat to your supreme, glorious image. These monstrosities have infiltrated every nook and cranny of our nation; next thing you know I'm going to wake up with one next to me in bed! Put a stop to this madness before it gets out of hand - ban all ride-share scooters from our fabulous nation entirely!"
Effect: @@leader@@'s clumsy and careless stride has brought the e-scooter industry to a screeching halt

2- "People aren't going to like that, @@leader@@," level-headed policewoman Jen Sexington retorts. "Face it, these scooters are obviously extremely popular, and not to mention a revenue-generating machine, but we clearly can't trust the private sector to be mindful of our city's natural beauty. If you subsidised the construction of designated e-scooter parking zones, and made it mandatory for riders to use them, then they wouldn't be such an eyesore or danger for pedestrians. Sure it might be a little less convenient for riders, but at least we can allow our citizens to use this great, new means of transportation while still keeping @@capital@@ gorgeous and hazard-free."
Effect: parking lots are being paved over public green spaces in order to improve the capital's natural beauty

3- Leading researcher from @@capital@@ Genetic Engineering Ranch Dr. Elphonse Nephesto ominously interjects. "We need to think more long-term and futuristic! What if I told you that there was no conflict between man and scooter? What if I told you that, through the wonders of genetic engineering, your legs could be replaced with something more powerful, self-regulating and automatic? I'm saying our legs will be the scooters! My lab is on the edge of a breakthrough in artificial limb research, and with a little extra funding, I could have all consenting citizens fitted with motorised scooter legs - zipping and zooming across @@capital@@ in only seconds! When man and scooter become one, there will be no more e-scooters of yesteryear left littering the bustling city streets."
Effect: curious tourists travel from far and wide to gawk at the nation's horrible mutant freaks

Draft 2:

The issue

Ride-share scooters have flooded the @@demonymadjective@@ market and are lying abandoned all over the streets of @@capital@@. After dramatically tripping over one on your way into work this morning, appalled and shocked onlookers have now gathered outside your office to complain about what they are calling the "hideous death-mobiles".

1- One of the witnesses, Quinn McCracken, who also claims to be your number one fan, climbs into your office through an open window. "I saw the whole thing like it was in slow-motion. First you started to fall over, and then you fell over. It was awful! Frankly, ride-share scooters have become a menace to society, not to mention a threat to your supreme, glorious image. These monstrosities have infiltrated every nook and cranny of our nation; next thing you know I'm going to wake up with one next to me in bed! Put a stop to this madness before it gets out of hand - ban all ride-share scooters from our fabulous nation entirely!"
Effect: @@leader@@'s clumsy and careless stride has brought the e-scooter industry to a screeching halt

2- "People aren't going to like that, @@leader@@," level-headed policewoman Jen Sexington retorts. "Face it, these scooters are obviously extremely popular, and not to mention a revenue-generating machine, but we clearly can't trust the private sector to be mindful of our city's natural beauty. If you subsidised the construction of designated e-scooter parking zones, and made it mandatory for riders to use them, then they wouldn't be such an eyesore or danger for pedestrians. Sure it might be a little less convenient for riders, but at least we can allow our citizens to use this great, new means of transportation while still keeping @@capital@@ gorgeous and hazard-free."
Effect: parking lots are being paved over public green spaces in order to improve the capital's natural beauty

3- Leading researcher from @@capital@@ Genetic Engineering Ranch Dr. Elphonse Nephesto ominously interjects. "We need to think more long-term and futuristic! What if I told you that there was no conflict between man and scooter? What if I told you that, through the wonders of genetic engineering, your legs could be replaced with something more powerful, self-regulating and automatic? I'm saying our legs will be the scooters! My lab is on the edge of a breakthrough in artificial limb research, and with a little extra funding, I could have all consenting citizens fitted with motorised scooter legs - zipping and zooming across @@capital@@ in only seconds! When man and scooter become one, there will be no more e-scooters of yesteryear left littering the bustling city streets."
Effect: curious tourists travel from far and wide to gawk at the nation's horrible mutant freaks

[Jim the Baptist]

Reserved.

[Dabarastan]

Bump.

Edit: Premise and option 1 updated.

[Terrabod]

I don't have time for detailed feedback now, but I would remark that it doesn't look like the Capitalism policy is a necessary validity here (the e-scooters could be owned by the government) so see if you can adapt this to be a taxpayer-funded initiative. I'd also like to point out that the way this is set up doesn't make it seem like a national issue - more so perhaps a problem facing the mayor of the capital city, which isn't good. These e-scooters are quite an American thing, so I had to google what they are (in my neck of the woods we have a similar system but with bikes in urban areas) - I wasn't sure if they were scooters like the kind kids ride or a Vespa sort of thing. You might want to make what these vehicles are (and what the point of them is) clear in the description. You have a lot of room in your description anyway; issue descriptions stating that people have come to ask your opinion ("shocked onlookers have now gathered outside your office to complain") went out of fashion a good while ago, so this can reliably be removed.

To return to the national issue point, you have to make this into a case of more than just littering. Otherwise, you could replace "e-scooters" with "plastic bottles" or "cigarette butts" and would have a very similar issue (an issue about overflowing litter blocking roads and pavements has already been done to my knowledge). Instead, I'd focus on the one thing about ride-share scooters you've skirted around here: scooter rage. Apparently this is when fed up citizens dump e-scooters into rivers or bury them so that would-be users can no longer use them. It's done mainly as a response to the abandonment issue you mention, but also because they're tired of dangerous e-scooter use in pedestrian areas. I think this type of clash would bring some excitement to this premise and potentially bring new opportunities for humour.

I'd also point out that Option 2 here is kind of meaningless - governments don't start this kind of project without building "designated e-scooter parking zones". In RL, e-scooter users just ignore these, and that's where this kind of problem arises, not because there are no parking zones. You need to make your Option 2 solution less straightforward (the government would have to be incompetent to start a ride-sharing initiative without creating parking areas) so that this dilemma is more of a dilemma.