[title]Keep Calm and Don't Carry On
[desc]Club Tropicana - a football club in East Calypso comprised solely of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ expats - has left the national football league and destroyed all of its records after a violent, openly anti-@@NAME@@ administration took charge there. The league's existence is now in jeopardy after almost half of its teams threatened to drop out, citing similar fears for their safety.
[validity]adult
[option]"If those relentless xenophobes find out who we are, they might kill us," says an otherwise-anonymous caller who claims to have formerly played for Club Tropicana. "Never mind that we haven't pulped all the newspapers and magazines talking about our team's performance over the years: keeping ourselves and our identities safe from this new, hostile government is what matters. You should respect that - even if that means hundreds of thousands of people abroad can't entertain themselves - and perhaps tell your other expats to, I don't know, make fundamental changes to their day-to-day life if they feel threatened. Goodbye."
[effect]@@DENOMYMNOUN@@ embassies everywhere urge survivors of domestic terrorism to move house and hope for the best
[option]As the ex-footballer hangs up the phone, you get a tap on your desk from a balding man dressed in thick camouflage. "Excuse me, but wouldn't it be better if we at Bluewater Mercenary Services helped to run a free and fair sportsball tournament in this East Calypso place - with armed protection, of course? Although we can't guarantee those boys are going to take part, not only can their former opponents continue to play in peace, but we'll shoot any and all armed crazies that threaten their way of life... or innocent civilians. Or maybe both. It doesn't matter if we can spread fun around the world, by force if necessary."
[effect]"people for goalposts" is a popular pastime among @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ in combat zones
