[title] Stupid Bloody Tiesday
[validity] only valid on Tuesdays
[desc] As you return to from your lunch break this fine Tuesday afternoon, a window in your offices smashes. Enters a deranged man who starts screaming.
[option] "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are altogether, I am the egg man!" sings the man, who begins to point at anyone who happens to be in your office. "They are the egg men! I am the walrus!" The man smashes another window and begins to escape via abseiling in order to avoid your security guards. As he exists the building, he starts screaming "I'll be sitting on a corn flake, waiting for the van to come! See you next Tuesday! See you next Tuesday! I'll be back next Tuesday"
[effect] goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob
[option] "This is what happens when you legalise drugs!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, your minister of policing. "I've been telling you all along. We need to ban drugs. Do it now!"
[option validity] must have legal or decriminalised drugs
[effect] the number of toilet flushes has suspiciously increased by 500%
[option] "This is what happens when you don't go hard enough on drugs!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, your minister of policing. "I've been telling you all along. We need to go harder on drugs. Do it now!
[option validity] drugs must be criminalised
[effect] the number of toilet flushes has suspiciously increased by 500%
[option] "I believe the issue is mental health!" suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, your mental health minister. You should consider a greater investment into our nation's mental health clinics!"
[effects] mental health funding makes up 80% of the health budget
[option] "What ya need here is better security!" explains @@RANDOMNAME@@, the head of your security officers. "No bars on windows means anyone can enter, you see here, not enough documents are run through the shredder anyone can dig through your garbage and find receipts for bars of soap. You see here..." @@HE@@ goes on...
[effect] tying one’s shoelaces often triggers the burglar alarm in leader's office
[option] "Didn't you hear, he'll be back next Tuesday!" panics some random person who looks suspiciously identical to the man who entered through the window, but wearing a bad wig. "Or maybe he'll be back on the Tuesday after that, or the Tuesday after that, or the Tuesday after that! Ahh! Ahh! You better take Tuesdays off, you better take Tuesdays off! Ah! Ah!"
[effect] @@LEADER@@ has an irrational fear of Tuesdays
