This issue is a complete re-draft of an old issue, originally written by Dabarastan, called A Deafening Cattle Cry.
An editor who has now CTE’d showed interest and a revised version was submitted, however we feel it is much better now in its latest form as a co-authored issue. Therefore, we have revised some of the old writing, but kept the same overall idea and smorgasbord of options.
This issue is co-authored by Dabarastan.
The issue
Video footage has leaked from a @@demonymadjective@@ livestock carrier bound for Tasmania, depicting distressed cattle suffering from extreme heat in overcrowded and contaminated conditions. Pressure is now mounting from all corners to reform the live animal export industry.
1- "I just got off the phone with Maxtopia," grumbles your Minister for Foreign Affairs. "Actually, it's the eighth call I've taken this morning. The world officially thinks we're a bunch of sadistic, inhumane tormentors. It's about time @@name@@ raised our live export standards, with better conditions for animals, limits on the amount of livestock per boat and tough penalties for non-compliance. Unless you want to get grilled by the international community, we need to respond decisively here - our reputation is at steak!"
Effect: @@leader@@ is beefing up their reputation by wining-and-dining live exports before they are flat ironed
2- "Ahoy!" cheerfully bellows export ship deckhand Handsome Pete, who dances for @currencyplural@@ on the weekends. "No need t' worry matey - the cows on me boats are as cool and calm as the high seas! Besides, everybody knows that meat tastes better when the cattle are cramped and sweaty. Haven't ya heard? Cows are like penguins: they love huddlin' up for warmth. If anythin', you should be lettin’ us shove more of 'em onto the boat!"
Effect: international trade partners are disappointed to find that @@demonymadjective@@ livestock are often not-so-live upon arrival
3- Passionate nationalist and local meat distributor, Sir Loin Porterhouse, marches into the room draped in a @@demonymadjective@@ flag. "As a proud patriot, I say go local, not global - ban all live exports and concentrate on feeding our own instead! We should regulate that local farmers must sell their produce exclusively to local consumers at affordable prices. It might require some propping up of the industry, but it'd certainly solve your live export dilemma, and shut up those crazy animal rights greenies too. Keep @@demonymadjective@@ meat in @@demonymadjective@@ mouths!"
Effect: former live export transporters have turned to piracy following their industry’s collapse
4- "Oh yeah? Well would a 'crazy animal rights greenie' do this?!" An impassioned activist dressed in a cow costume pounces from behind the door and pours a bucket of fake blood over your head. "The calf that you carve with a smile - it is murder! Simply banning the export boats isn't even close to good enough. Eating a slain animal's flesh is not only unhealthy and unethical, but is also destroying our precious mother Earth! @@Leader@@, your conscience will not be clear until you outlaw the consumption of meat entirely!"
Effect: citizens reminisce of the days they could savour the flavour of murder
Must not have policy Vegetarianism
