[Name] The Dog Ate My Vote
[Desc] Embarrassingly, your party came up one vote short on passing a crucial piece of legislation yesterday. All eyes are now on @@RANDOMNAME(1)@@, a legislator from your party who was seen eating ice cream just down the road while the vote was taking place. Further investigation shows @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@ was absent for over 70% of votes taken in the past year.
[Validity] is a democracy
[option] "The people lose their voice when their elected representatives decide not to show up to work," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the head of a congressional watchdog group. "In this case, I bet most of @@HIS(1)@@ constituents haven't even realized how many votes @@HE(1)@@'s missed. The only way to fix this is to send all @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ monthly reports of their legislator's voting record. Once voters are equipped with this information, they will probably make the right choice once the next election rolls around. I hope."
[effect] multiple legislators have been grounded by their parents after receiving disappointing report cards
[option] "What's the only thing politicians care more about than votes? The amount of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ in their pocket," says your chief of staff, counting the amount of @@CURENCYPLURAL@@ in @@HIS@@ pocket. "Right now, there isn't any incentive for legislators to work; they get paid the same whether they only vote once or every time. We could fix this by tying their salary directly into their attendance record. For every vote they miss, they get docked a sum of money. You could even make it a competition and give a bonus to those who vote the most often."
[effect] the government blackmails legislators into doing their jobs
[option] "Hey, slow down! I was out speaking with my constituents, which I frankly don't think my peers do enough of," responds @@RANDOMLASTNAME(1)@@. "While my voting record may not be perfect, I can still point you to my laundry list of achievements that I, uh, must have left in my other jacket. Instead of forcing me to be present to vote, I should be allowed to call in and vote over the phone from wherever I want to. This way I can both keep meeting with my constituents and fulfill the duties of my job."
[effect] the halls of congress are filled with tumbleweeds and low-level aides
[option] "What other job lets you constantly miss going to work?" asks your disgruntled janitor, taking the bag out of your garbage can and violently slamming the lid shut. "This is another example of politicians playing by a different set of rules than the rest of society. We elect these people to make nationally important decisions, and they can't even be bothered to show up. Legislators should be mandated to participate in every vote, and if they don't, we can hold a new election to find someone who actually cares about their voters."
[effect] legislators on their deathbeds are carried into the chamber to vote