The weird structure is to do with her "three Marinas" conceit.
2:
TITLE:
The Artist is Literally Present
VALIDITY:
Any
DESCRIPTION:
Performance artist Maureen A Hamsandwich is launching a new conceptual piece tomorrow, wherein she intends to sit silently in a chair eight hours a day for a whole month while visitors are invited to enter the room, and to freely make eye contact, and even physical contact, should they wish. Surprisingly, you've received your own invite in the post, and you're scheduled to be the first of many to lock gazes with her.
OPTION 1
"Static and silent, this is a piece that explores the power of stillness," enthuses a fidgety cultural aide who looks suspiciously similar to the artist but in a red wig, who buzzes around you excitedly. "I heard that in a similar performance elsewhere, some visitors broke down in tears as they confronted their own internal monologues. You should plan to do something like that, show the people that you really get modern art." She giggles, and then dashes out of the room.
OUTCOME:
political spontaneity takes a lot of planning
OPTION 2
"She's clearly some sort of masochist, just wanting people to poke and emotionally abuse her," observes a passing intern, who could be the last speaker's twin, were it not for her voluminous blonde hair, firing an office staple gun into the back of her own hand to emphasise her point. "So-called modern artists like this deserve to be mocked. You should go in there, give her a slap, berate her for wasting everyone's time, then head back to work. Busy busy." She looks at her own watch and then walks out, purposefully.
OUTCOME:
those who turn the other cheek seem to enjoy being slapped just a little too much
OPTION 3
"Frankly, the whole thing bores me," yawns a civil servant, whose grey wig seems to be slipping off as she rushes in out of breath. "Clearly, you're being drawn into the performance, used to generate free publicity. The best thing you can do is ignore the whole charade, and go across town to a different exhibition that is opening on the same day. I have a pamphlet here: Treasures of the Renaissance Era, a Retrospective on Traditional Landscape Painting. Actual brushwork, and realistic pictures. That's proper art, none of this modern rubbish. I'll go ahead now, and book you a ticket." She strides off.
OUTCOME:
people say that Picasso was rubbish because he couldn't draw faces
1:
great draft!
