This issue is co-authored by Jim the Baptist
The Issue
A coalition of grieving women has gathered in @@capital@@ Square, demanding the country's sick leave legislation be expanded to provide additional paid time-off work for women who have miscarried during their pregnancy.
1- "The current sick leave arrangements are far from good enough!" berates @@randomnamefemale@@, the group's spokeswoman. "Do you even understand how long it takes to recover after enduring what can only be described as the most horrific experience of a woman's life? Men don't have miscarriages, but for some reason, men and women get the same amount of sick leave! What if we also catch a cold that year? Women who've miscarried should be entitled to an additional six months of sick leave that they can access over the mental and physical trauma they've been through. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt for you to throw in a few complimentary counselling sessions either."
Effect: women return from miscarriage leave with a spring in their step and a new lease on life
2- University of @@capital@@ Professor, Peter Jordanson, leans forward in his chair and clasps his hands together. "And what about all of the health issues that only affect men? There's not a woman alive who's suffered from prostate cancer, Peyronie's Disease, or the dreaded Alport syndrome. Yet I don't see any angry groups of men outside demanding special sick leave rights that exclude the ladies - do you? Our biological sex determines our predisposition to a unique set of potential health risks. That's true for both men and women. Therefore, if you really feel like being charitable, but also fair, then you ought to expand sick leave entitlements for everyone - regardless of what's between their legs."
Effect: the most lucrative aspect of a doctor's work is writing endless medical certificates for the nation's unproductive workers
3- "And you know what that'll lead to? A whole bunch of sissies chucking sickies just 'cause they woke up with a stuffy nose!" muses pregnant wellbeing advocate Rachel Radish, munching on a raw vegetable platter. "Besides, the harsh reality is that most miscarriages are unfortunately caused by women carelessly neglecting their diet and health. Just mandate that every expectant mother must exercise regularly, maintain a healthy diet and take 400 micrograms of folic acid every day. If she fails to meet her requirements, then she loses the right to keep her kid. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!"
Effect: pregnant women are literally gagging for a dose of their compulsory meds