The Issue:
Draft 8
[title] Does Eisnerland Need Cultural Sensitivity?
[desc] Following the opening of Eisner Entreprises’ Eisnerland, some of the park’s themed attractions have been criticized for being both culturally and racially insensitive, the foremost attraction in the matter being Eisnerland’s Paradise Riverboats. Examples of such racial insensitivity include the ride's gruesome depiction of native Bigtopians as savages and the riverboat pilot's scripted tendencies to crack offensive "Bigwig" puns. While visiting the park the unrest is clear.
[validity] Must have received Issue 818 and allowed Eisnerland to be constructed in some form, must have Capitalism installed
[option]"It’s time for Eisnerland to change for the better," chants @@RANDOMNAME@@, vigorously waving @@HIS@@ 'Bigtopian Lives Matter' sign. "Eisnerland’s Paradise Riverboats are blatantly racist and Walter Eisner knows it! Him and that @@ANIMAL@@-loving company of his. I mean, the attraction literally refers to the natives as ‘Bigwigs’ for Violet’s sake! Threaten Eisner Entreprises with a lawsuit, blackmail them into shutting-down that ugly symbol of racial hate! Equality cannot be silenced!" @@HE@@ enters a sudden violent coughing spell, presumably from @@HIS@@ ear-damaging shouting, "Ugh, give a second to take a shot of my cough syrup or two..."
[effect]anything short of racial colorblindness is prohibited in the Eisnerland Park
[option]"We apologize for any problems you may have with our attraction," recites @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of the various faceless and brainwashed employees of Eisnerland. "Mr. Eisner does not wish to offend anyone, especially those of Bigtopian background. We did not realize that the Paradise Riverboats would be insulting, we just wanted to make Paradise Riverboats historically accurate. Please, let us partially alter the Paradise Riverboats, perhaps eliminate some particularly questionable jokes, and tone down on a couple of the native depictions you deem insensitive. Maybe you could overlook this mishap, and allow us to keep this cherished attraction open. Eisnerland would be happy to accommodate you if choose so." He adjusts his cast member badge and proceeds to recite his hourly "Eisner Loyalty Pledge" before going dead-eyed and ominously walking to a nearby employee lounge.
[effect]suspicious amounts gifts containing free Quickpasses have been arriving at your doorstep lately
[option]"Alter Paradise Riverboats?! You can’t do that!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, an avid Eisnerland superfan and secret cult follower of the Socialist ideal. "The Paradise Riverboats is a classic and iconic attraction! Altering it would destroy my nostalgia- I mean would be disrespecting Walter Eisner's masterpiece! I implore you to dictate that Eisner cannot change the attraction, in fact, I suggest you seize Eisner Entreprises altogether. That'll set a precedent. @@LEADER@@, don’t let them take away my childhood memories!"
[policy]cancels Capitalism policy, installs Socialism policy
[effect]Eisnerland has proudly been renamed to "@@@LEADER@@land"