[SUBMITTED] One Dam Thing After Another

[The Atlae Isles]

I know there's been a bunch of dam issues and dam jokes, but something I feel hasn't really been addressed is that the reservoirs created by dams flood areas upstream, which is an issue in and of itself. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abu_Simbel_temples)

Description: Your advisors recently published a design of the proposed Great @@ANIMAL@@ Dam, situated on the @@CAPITAL@@ River. Scribbled across the charts were many sloppily-drawn and cartoonishly big green @@CURRENCY@@ symbols, yet some goober noticed a big red zone surrounding the river upstream of the dam, which just so happens to cover a few villages and historical sites in the Upper @@CAPITAL@@ River Valley.

Validity: Selected 89.2

[option] The Chief Engineer overseeing the dam's construction glances at @@HIS@@ pocket watch and grimaces. "Dammit, this sets the timeline back a few WEEKS at least. This will be the largest dam in @@REGION@@ and will power millions of households! What do we do again with nagging protestors? Throw them a bunch of money so they stop complaining about their homes being flooded."
[effect] scuba divers scouring the bottom of 'Lake @@LEADER@@' find the remains of a sunken civilization

[option] "If I may interject," butts in monocle and top hat-wearing @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the Department Appropriating Former Treasures. "Some of these sites are truly integral to the glorious history of @@NAME@@. It would be a deep and irreversible loss to lose the monument to the largest rutabaga grown in @@NAME@@, as well as the renowned Museum of Mostly-Medieval Years. But with a small contribution of a few hundred million @@CURRENCY@@ we can painstakingly disassemble and relocate these monuments so future generations can gaze upon them with pride. The damn hovels aren't worth saving, though."
[effect] homeowners are desperately searching their grandparents' heirlooms for any evidence of historical importance

[option] "No, don't dam it!" wails Upriverton Estates Homeowners' Association President @@RANDOMNAME@@, oddly topping a three piece suit with a fisherman's hat. "It just isn't right for the slackers in @@CAPITAL@@ downriver to profit on our suffering and displacement with this new development! The lovely @@CAPITAL@@ River will go turbid and all the migratory fish would be killed, ruining such a diverse landscape. Worst of all, dammit, you'd forever ruin our picturesque views and property values with this concrete eyesore! ​"
[effect] flood insurance sales and energy bills have risen inexplicably

[option] "'Tis a shame, really," mutters your brother, plucking the fisherman's hat and donning it like a sailor cap. "The people up the river are bound to complain because they're all rich suburbanites. Just so happens that Bigtopia is in the other direction. By building a dam just downriver, we can reduce the riparian water flow and disrupt their commerce and industry immediately as we harvest the energy, littorally - er, literally - projecting power from the dam! And what are the Bigwigs going to do about that? Declare war? As if."
[effect] brown-nosing admirals are relegated to brown-water navy duty

Description: Your advisors recently published a design of the proposed Great @@ANIMAL@@ Dam, situated on the @@CAPITAL@@ River. Scribbled across the charts were many sloppily-drawn and cartoonishly big green @@CURRENCY@@ symbols, yet some goober noticed a big red zone surrounding the river upstream of the dam, which just so happens to cover a few villages and historical sites in the Upper @@CAPITAL@@ River Valley.

Validity: Selected 89.2

[option] The Chief Engineer overseeing the dam's construction glances at @@HIS@@ pocket watch and grimaces. "Dammit, this sets the timeline back a few WEEKS at least. This will be the largest dam in @@REGION@@ and will power millions of households! What do we do again with nagging protestors? Throw them a bunch of money so they stop complaining about their homes being flooded."
[effect] scuba divers scouring the bottom of 'Lake @@LEADER@@' find the remains of a sunken civilization

[option] "If I may interject," butts in monocle and top hat-wearing @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the Department Appropriating Former Treasures. "Some of these sites are truly integral to the glorious history of @@NAME@@. It would be a deep and irreversible loss to lose the monument to the largest rutabaga grown in @@NAME@@, as well as the renowned Museum of Mostly-Medieval Years. But with a small contribution of a few hundred million @@CURRENCY@@ we can painstakingly disassemble and relocate these monuments so future generations can gaze upon them with pride. The damn hovels aren't worth saving, though."
[effect] homeowners are desperately searching their grandparents' heirlooms for any evidence of historical importance

[option] "You'll never remove me from my house, dammit!" wails Upriverton Estates Homeowners' Association President @@RANDOMNAME@@, oddly topping a three piece suit with a fisherman's hat. "It just isn't right for the slackers in @@CAPITAL@@ downriver to profit on our suffering and displacement. Not to mention all the fish you're going to kill by building the dam too, disrupting the water quality and migration patterns and everything. Don't be a cold fish, @@LEADER@@, don't put up that concrete eyesore!"
[effect] flood insurance sales and energy bills have inexplicably risen

[option] "'Tis a shame, really," mutters your brother, plucking the fisherman's hat and wearing it like a sailor cap. "The people up the river are bound to complain because they're all the rich suburbanites. But this river leads to Bigtopia, and things have been tense lately with them. If we can project power - littorally and literally - from these dams, we can reduce the water flow and disrupt their industry while we harvest the energy. I guarantee you that those Bigwigs will be too stupid to go to war."
[effect] brown-nosing admirals are relegated to brown-water navy duty

Description: Your advisors recently published a design of the proposed Great @@ANIMAL@@ Dam, situated on the @@CAPITAL@@ River. The charts contained lots of big green numbers, which your adivsors believed would satiate the public. Unfortunately, some goober noticed a big red zone situated just upstream of the dam, meaning a few villages and historical sites on the banks of the river would be submerged. People have flooded into your office, putting the construction of the dam on hold.

Validity: Selected 89.2

[option] The Chief Engineer overseeing the dam's construction glances at @@HIS@@ pocket watch and grimaces. "Dammit, this sets the timeline back a few WEEKS at least. This will be the largest dam in @@REGION@@ and will power millions of households! What do we do again with nagging protestors? Throw them a bunch of money so they stop complaining about their homes being flooded."
[effect] scuba divers scouring the bottom of 'Lake @@LEADER@@' find the remains of a sunken civilization

[option] "If I may interject," butts in monocle and top hat-wearing @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the Department Appropriating Former Treasures. "Some of these sites are truly integral to the glorious history of @@NAME@@. It would be a deep and irreversible loss to lose the monument to the largest rutabaga grown in @@NAME@@, as well as the renowned Museum of Slightly Artificial History. But with a small contribution of a few hundred million @@CURRENCY@@ we can painstakingly disassemble and relocate these monuments so future generations can gaze upon them with pride. The damn hovels aren't worth saving, though."
[effect] homeowners are desperately searching their grandparents' heirlooms for any evidence of historical importance

[option] "You'll never remove me or my babies from my home, dammit!" wails indigenous activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of a @@ANIMAL@@ sanctuary. "This will destroy the habitat of these beautiful creatures and also some less-beautiful people who just happen to live here too! Tear down these dams, @@LEADER@@, and let the rivers flow!"
[effect] beaver dams are blown up by the military

[option] "'Tis a damn shame, really," mutters your brother, idly circling spots on a map of the rivers in @@NAME@@. "It's never a good look to be flooding your own people. Why don't we put a dam on the river with Lilliputia? That way, we get to power the cities and project power down the river. And they can't complain or we'll go to war. Sounds like a win-win to me!"
[effect] 'naval warfare' has a new meaning

Description: Your advisors recently published a design of the proposed Great @@ANIMAL@@ Dam, situated on the @@CAPITAL@@ River. Their charts had lots of big green numbers, and they believed that that would have easily convinced the public. Unfortunately, some goober noticed a big red zone surrounding the river upstream of the dam, representing the amount of land to be submerged by the dam's reservoir in the Upper @@CAPITAL@@ River Valley, which just so happens to cover a few villages and historical sites. People have flooded into your office, putting the construction of the dam on hold.

Validity: Selected 89.2

[option] The Chief Engineer overseeing the dam's construction glances at @@HIS@@ pocket watch and grimaces. "Dammit, this sets the timeline back a few WEEKS at least. The @@CAPITAL@@ river is a great source of untapped potential. It'll provide cheap power to @@CAPITAL@@ and the surrounding area, and is a simple safeguard against any floods downriver. If we start before the next financial quarter, it could even be the largest power station in @@REGION@@. We can even name the reservoir after yourself - Lake @@LEADER@@. What do we do again with nagging protestors? Throw them a bunch of money so they stop complaining about their homes being flooded."
[effect] scientists scouring the bottom of Lake @@LEADER@@ are surprised to find sunken villages and lost historical sites

[option] "If I may interject," butts in monocle and top hat-wearing @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the Historical Archaeological Preservation Society. "Some of these sites are truly integral to the glorious history of @@NAME@@. To lose that would be a deep and irreversible loss to all of that. Luckily, with a small contribution of a few hundred million @@CURRENCY@@ we can painstakingly disassemble and relocate these monuments so future generations can gaze upon them with pride. What of the urchins? Not worth a tinker's damn."
[effect] homeowners are designating their property as historical monuments in order to be relocated from the flood zone

[option] "You'll never remove me from my home, dammit!" yells angry resident @@RANDOMNAME@@, fending off the guards in your office. "My great-great-grandfather built our estate right next to the fair banks of the @@CAPITAL@@ river, and that's where my great-great-grandchildren will be raised! Just think about the human cost of displacing so many people, not even mentioning the myriad environmental problems this dam causes! Cancel the dam now, or we'll come and remove you from your house! @@LEADER@@, da-" @@HE@@ then promptly gets the air knocked out of @@HIM@@ as security hauls him off your desk.
[effect] flood insurance sales and energy bills have inexplicably risen

[option] "'Tis a shame, really," mutters your brother, watching the protestor being hauled out. "The people up the river are bound to complain because they're all the rich suburbanites. Why don't we just build the damn thing downriver where the proles are? Or damming the river to Lilliputia? If we can project power - strategic and literal - from these dams, we can really stand to gain here. What do you think?" He takes a sharpie to the river map and starts circling spots.
[effect] "naval warfare" has a new meaning

[Baggieland]

Nice issue.

scientists scouring the bottom of Lake @@LEADER@@ are surprised to find sunken villages and lost historical sites

I don't think scientists would be surprised, as that's what they're probably looking for in the first place. Scuba divers would be surprised.

homeowners are designating their property as historical monuments in order to be relocated from the flood zone

May I suggest:
homeowners are desperately searching their grandparents' heirlooms for any evidence of historical importance

Although all that is a bit wordy

[The Atlae Isles]

Nice issue.

scientists scouring the bottom of Lake @@LEADER@@ are surprised to find sunken villages and lost historical sites

I don't think scientists would be surprised, as that's what they're probably looking for in the first place. Scuba divers would be surprised.

homeowners are designating their property as historical monuments in order to be relocated from the flood zone

May I suggest:
homeowners are desperately searching their grandparents' heirlooms for any evidence of historical importance

Although all that is a bit wordy

Ooh great ideas! I'll put that in next draft.

[Electrum]

Good writing

I think as it stands, the issue is a bit lengthy. Could you shorten it down? If it doesn't give information we don't already know, or give humour, it should be cut out. Option 4 goes in a few different directions (dam the proles/dam Lilliputia). I suggest sticking to one of them and expanding on it a bit more.

[The Atlae Isles]

Draft 2 is up!

Good writing

I think as it stands, the issue is a bit lengthy. Could you shorten it down? If it doesn't give information we don't already know, or give humour, it should be cut out. Option 4 goes in a few different directions (dam the proles/dam Lilliputia). I suggest sticking to one of them and expanding on it a bit more.

Sure, I cut down the issue in a few spots, except for Option 2, where I made it longer to make it a bit funnier. If it doesn't stick though, I could cut that down too. *wields ax menacingly*

[The Atlae Isles]

Bumpity bump bump bumpity bump bump

[Ransium]

3 seems to be a strange hybrid of indigenous people’s rights and wildlife concerns and feels a bit shoe horned and generic to me. Maybe making the impacted animal @@animal@@ is making it feel to general? Usually when I think about dam’s impact on wildlife I don’t think about habitat destruction due to the artificial lake creation as much as sedimentation impacting stream water quality, migratory fish disruptions, down stream wet land quality being degraded due to the loss of the highs and lows of streams, etc. However although people losing homes and cultural sites and wildlife impacts are the two most prominent impacts of dams putting both in the same issue feels like a bit of a weird dichotomy that makes the issue feel a bit unfocused IMO. I might try to focus more on one or the other throughout the issue.

BTW, The green number thing in the beginning was a bit confusing as to what you really meant/ what the joke was.

[USS Monitor]

3 seems to be a strange hybrid of indigenous people’s rights and wildlife concerns and feels a bit shoe horned and generic to me.

This threw me too. Shouldn't an indigenous rights activist be making an argument about indigenous rights?

[Electrum]

For the last option, can you think of some disadvantage of that strategy? It looks like the easiest option to choose without any drawbacks.

[The Atlae Isles]

Bump! It's been a while since I updated this draft, hopefully the premise is still good. Ideally I would love for it to be polished up and ready to submit for this month's issues contest, but we'll see.

3 seems to be a strange hybrid of indigenous people’s rights and wildlife concerns and feels a bit shoe horned and generic to me. Maybe making the impacted animal @@animal@@ is making it feel to general? Usually when I think about dam’s impact on wildlife I don’t think about habitat destruction due to the artificial lake creation as much as sedimentation impacting stream water quality, migratory fish disruptions, down stream wet land quality being degraded due to the loss of the highs and lows of streams, etc. However although people losing homes and cultural sites and wildlife impacts are the two most prominent impacts of dams putting both in the same issue feels like a bit of a weird dichotomy that makes the issue feel a bit unfocused IMO. I might try to focus more on one or the other throughout the issue.

BTW, The green number thing in the beginning was a bit confusing as to what you really meant/ what the joke was.

3 seems to be a strange hybrid of indigenous people’s rights and wildlife concerns and feels a bit shoe horned and generic to me.

This threw me too. Shouldn't an indigenous rights activist be making an argument about indigenous rights?

Hopefully, Option 3 will work better. I agree with you that the environmentalism was a bit forced, although my reasoning is that Option 2 is an option where the dam is constructed but much money has to be paid to move the historical sites, whereas Option 3 is the one where the dam is not constructed. To be honest, I struggled with a reason that didn't include an environmental anti-dam slant since that seemed to sum up the anti-dam argument like 89.1. That's why the latest incarnation of Option 3 mentions fish, although perhaps the fisherman's hat is too out of place here.

For the last option, can you think of some disadvantage of that strategy? It looks like the easiest option to choose without any drawbacks.

Maybe this will work? Going to war might be a thing that gives one pause.

[The Atlae Isles]

Seeing as it's fallen to the second page, bump

[Numero Capitan]

I really like this issue, don't have anything to add really - I think you've done a great job

P.S. Thank you for your comments on my draft too!

[The Atlae Isles]

Bump again, let's say this is the last call since it's nearing submission time.

[The Atlae Isles]

Bump. I'll be submitting this sometime on the 29th or 30th, just in time for my birthday on the 1st.

Post any last comments or well-wishes for this draft while you still can.

[Jutsa]

I really like this draft and don't have too much to say about it.

That said, there's something about option 4. I think I get what it's trying to convey, but I think, at the moment, it doesn't really quite say it.
So, yes, you could project power on Bigtopia. That's great. But that has nothing to do with the issue at hand.

Unless, of course, you're trying to imply that you should relocate the dam elsewhere, that'd be fine, but the option doesn't really do that. It offers using dams as a political tool, but it doesn't really solve the issue with this dam, yes? In fact, I'm not even sure - much as I do appreciate the option - that it applies here, since in effect, even "relocating" the dam would essentially be the same as "don't build the dam here!". Unless I'm misinterpreting the option, of course, but as-is - again, much as I love it - I'm not really entirely sure it works.

On the other hand, you could propose building a dam around the area that'd be affected by the issue's dam, in theory.

Otherwise, solid draft, Atlae. Good luck to you.

[The Atlae Isles]

I really like this draft and don't have too much to say about it.

That said, there's something about option 4. I think I get what it's trying to convey, but I think, at the moment, it doesn't really quite say it.
So, yes, you could project power on Bigtopia. That's great. But that has nothing to do with the issue at hand.

Unless, of course, you're trying to imply that you should relocate the dam elsewhere, that'd be fine, but the option doesn't really do that. It offers using dams as a political tool, but it doesn't really solve the issue with this dam, yes? In fact, I'm not even sure - much as I do appreciate the option - that it applies here, since in effect, even "relocating" the dam would essentially be the same as "don't build the dam here!". Unless I'm misinterpreting the option, of course, but as-is - again, much as I love it - I'm not really entirely sure it works.

On the other hand, you could propose building a dam around the area that'd be affected by the issue's dam, in theory.

Otherwise, solid draft, Atlae. Good luck to you.

Thanks for the comment! I see where the confusion comes from.

The general outline of my options is essentially the follows:

1. Build the dam with no reservations
2. Build the dam after spending lots of money to relocate historical objects
3. Don't build the dam at all
4. Don't build the dam here, build it downriver instead to mess with Bigtopia

I do see how #3 and #4 can be seen as pretty much the same. However I do intend for the effects of #4 to account for the fact that the dam actually is built, but with increased tensions thrown into the mix as well.

I'm on mobile right now so I haven't rewritten it yet but I will fix Option 4 very soon!

[Candensia]

But with a small contribution of a few hundred million @@CURRENCY@@ we can painstakingly disassemble and relocate these monuments so future generations

Careful here, as exchange rates will differ between nations, it's better to generalize amounts of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@, rather than providing a numerical sum. The speaker can still attempt to downplay the money required, even if it really is a large sum in actuality.

[Jutsa]

Fair enough @Option 4. That said, I still think it'd be best to make more clear in option 4 that you're relocating the dam downstream. Again, at the moment it's implied, but I still think it'd be helpful to the reader to clear it up just a smidge.

[Aivintis]

Not a Got Issues guy but, as an on-and-off issues answerer, I do like this issue and the concept in general. I don't see any major issues with it, pun very much intended, other than simple agreement with the above message, but I do think "The damn hovels aren't worth saving" should be "The dam hovels aren't worth saving" - in option two at the end.

[Fauxia]

"It would be a deep and irreversible loss"

No doubt it would be. A change of wordage here would be welcome.

As for the fallout of an option I am too lazy to scroll up and look at the number of, I think "risen inexplicably" sounds better than "inexplicably risen", but I'm nitpicking.

[The Atlae Isles]

Alright, cutting it close with the last day.

-insert Majora's mask reference here-

If you have any last comments, say them quick before I submit in the afternoon, I'll try and implement any last-minutr changes.

Reworked #3 and #4 because I thought they were a bit weak.