NationStates

OK, this one's got a pretty dark sense of humor, but I hope it can at least be taken pretty lightly.

Title: Trade Market Hitting New Lows
The Issue: Rèanne, a small nation with an even smaller GDP, has offered to sell your nation manual laborers.
Validity: Slavery, Not Autarky

Option 1: "It's no well-kept secret that your nation condones slavery," suggests monopolistic Rèannese celebrity-entrepeneur @@RANDOMNAME@@, giving your secretary a free sample. "But whereas other nations may criticize your endeavors, we see it as an opportunity to give our... less desirables something of a better life, and in return enough money to give the civilized Rèannese an even better one. Meanwhile, your people won't have to lift a finger. I'm glad you agree this a good deal, just sign here."
[effect] workers in @@REGION@@ go above and beyond out of fear of being sold by their government to @@NAME@@

Validity: Not Vat-Grown People
Option 2a: "Hogwash! Why would we bother with buying slaves when we've got plenty enough right here at home!" declares fat cat @@RANDOMNAME@@, slapping the free sample away from your secretary with @@HIS@@ cane. "Heck, you should be implementing an extensive slave breeding program so we can pawn them off to other countries for profit. Who would want a Rèan over one of our own flesh-born meat puppets, anyway?"
[effect] it takes slaves to make slaves

Validity: Vat-Grown People
Option 2b: "Hogwash! Why would we bother with buying slaves when we've got plenty enough right here at home!" declares fat cat @@RANDOMNAME@@, slapping the free sample away from your secretary with @@HIS@@ cane. "Heck, we should be growing slaves in vats so we can pawn them off to other countries for profit. Who would want a Rèan over one of our own vat-grown meat puppets, anyway?"
[effect] it takes volatile experimental biological fluid to make slaves

Option 3: "Why would you take slaves away from their work when there's a perfectly ripe civilization to invade?" grumbles your disgruntled and @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Supremist Minister of War. He stutters trying to pronounce Rèanne before finally saying, "Ruin's a shamble of a nation trying to save their sorry excuse for an economy. I say we just take their nation for ourselves and import their maggots over to us. Sure, we'll risk a war with nearby Bigtopia and Brasilistan, but that's what I'm here for."
[effect] you can't put a price tag on a free life

Someone wants to sell you a product that's legal in your nation for really cheap? Whyever would you say no to that?

Hmm. You're right.

Perhaps I should scrap the "really cheap" part.

Bumping this. Just got rid of the "for cheap" part since, yeah, that kinda makes this a non-issue.

"But whereas other nationstates

Couldn't this just be "nations" or "countries"? Nationstates feel somewhat odd to me.

less desirables something of a better life

Perhaps change this to "less desirable denizens something of a better life".

a better life as well

I would suggest changing the "better life" bit here, as it was already used in the bit before.

[effect] labour comes cheap these days

This could be a little catchier I think. Maybe something like "workers in @@REGION@@ go above and beyond out of fear of being sold by their government to @@NAME@@"

Heck, you should be allowing slaves to be bread so we can pawn them off to other countries for profit.

I'm a little lost when reading this sentence. What do you mean with "allowing slave to be bread"? Is it a metaphor, or do you mean literally declare slaves to be 'bread'? If the latter, wouldn't it be better to state "slaves to be good" instead?
Or do you mean "breed" as in "to breed"?

to save their sorry excuse for an economy

I believe this should be "to save their sorry excuse of an economy"

Sure, we'll risk a war with nearby Bigtopia and Brasilistan, but who cares about them?

The bit "who cares about them" feels somewhat odd, especially when saying you could go to war with them. Perhaps a more effective line would be "but we can just bomb/nuke them if they dare raise a finger at us"?

In what world would a society that allows slavery not allow slaves to breed? Unless you have constant wars where you constantly capture new people, that is literarly how you wipe out slavery within a matter of a generation.

Updated! Finally.

Very good suggestions, Daarwyrth! I've implemented most of them. The "excuse for" vs. "excuse of" thing is a bit strange; "excuse for" feels more natural to me, but it's not too important.

Also, how's this for option 1's "better life" problem?

give our... less desirables something of a better life, and in return enough money to give the civilized Rèannese an even better one.

Australian rePublic wrote:In what world would a society that allows slavery not allow slaves to breed? Unless you have constant wars where you constantly capture new people, that is literarly how you wipe out slavery within a matter of a generation.

*facepalms* Yeah that's. that makes sense, that was kinda dumb.

I actually changed option 2 to implement an extensive breeding program. (Gosh I feel so cruel with this issue.)

Option 3's had its text altered quite a bit too. In part because of this, I've actually made the speaker your Minister of War, rather than your bigoted uncle. As such, "but who care's about them" has been changed to "but that's what I'm here for."

Jutsa wrote:Also, how's this for option 1's "better life" problem?

give our... less desirables something of a better life, and in return enough money to give the civilized Rèannese an even better one.

Perfect! This sounds wonderful

Is there a shortage of slaves? Why is there one?

I'm not opposed to this issue per se, but I feel like we're getting a lot of the "X nation is offering Y good/service" issue drafts lately. You need to address that first question to give a reason for @@LEADER@@ to intervene. Perhaps even adjust the premise of the issue that supply of slaves is a problem, and have "buy slaves overseas" as one of the options.