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[SUBMITTED] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

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Daarwyrth
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Posts: 951
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

[SUBMITTED] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Aug 14, 2020 3:35 pm

This idea is inspired by the concept of e-democracy, in which modern day technology is used to involve citizens more thoroughly into the democratic process. The thing I am unsure about is how the current draft is handling the socialist option, as I imagine such an idea would strongly align with communist ideology where all political power has gone to the proletariat. Options 2 and 3 would fit both capitalist and socialist nations, but I'm unsure about option 1b. Also, if someone has a better idea for the title, I'm more than willing to change it! As such, I am eagerly awaiting feedback and comments!

CURRENT DRAFT:
[Title] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

[Validity] Must allow referenda, Must not have banned Technology, Must not have banned Internet

[Description] With the number of daily referendums rising rapidly, the GovernmentGo app was put into development to facilitate this democratic process, and thus alleviate sleep-deprived vote counters. Following the completion of the initial development phase, the question arises how to implement the application nationwide.

[Option 1a] "This is the next step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens E. Long Musque, the billionaire visionary behind the app. "Our app gives its users a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a user-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the contracts to distribute our product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age, and are in possession of a suitable device. Just ignore the bits about 'subscription fees' and 'advertising', that's just corporate fluff talk..."
[Validity] Has Capitalism

[Effect 1a] citizens miss voting deadlines as unskippable ads keep popping up every few seconds

[Option 1b] "This is the next step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens @@RANDOMNAME@@, the party loyalist behind the app. "The GovernmentGo app gives our comrades a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a party-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the public service contracts to freely distribute this product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age, and are in possession of a suitable device. There's only a small, modest commission fee to cover the costs of manpower and production..."
[Validity] Has Socialism

[Effect 1b] bringing about the communist society turns out to have a price after all

[Option 2] "We need to think bolder!" asserts your elderly but surprisingly tech-savvy Minister of Interior. "Nationalize this app instead and install it on smartphones, tablets and other such devices that we'll freely distribute to all of our citizens. Then we'll integrate the system with the parliament itself, and give all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ direct access to its proceedings! Anyone who attained the age of majority will be able to submit motions, vote on proposed legislation, and interact with the parliament directly and on the spot through the app. It'll work like a foolproof, well-oiled democratic machine, I promise!"

[Effect 2] today's motion has outlawed the pronunciation of GIF as 'jif'

[Option 3] "Uh, is no one going to mention how easily hackable all this tech is?" asks the young but uncharacteristically technophobe Undersecretary of Interior. "No matter how many security systems you'll put in place, there'll always be a clever kid from Blackacre who'll be able to hack their way past them. Look, I'm all for giving direct power to the people, but everything still needs to happen by pen and paper. Just allocate enough funding to the civil service to help them cope with the system, and you'll be able to rest easy knowing our democracy is safe!"

[Effect 3] the mortality rate among the nation's bureaucrats has recently skyrocketed

[Option 4] "If we have this app and can distribute it to all citizens," begins your brother's son, the spitting image of his father. "Why do we even need the parliament, let alone elections? Just work your power as dictator in perpetuity into the constitution, and consult the people on any legislation you'd like to pass through the app. Don't you love the streamlined efficiency of it?"

[Effect 4] it turns out everyone can tell @@LEADER@@ what to do


DRAFT 6:
[Title] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

[Validity] Must allow referenda, Must not have banned Technology, Must not have banned Internet

[Description] With the number of daily referendums rising rapidly, the GovernmentGo app was put into development to facilitate this democratic process, and thus alleviate sleep-deprived vote counters. Following the completion of the initial development phase, the question arises how to implement the application nationwide.

[Option 1a] "This is the next step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens E. Long Musque, the billionaire visionary behind the app. "Our app gives its users a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a user-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the contracts to distribute our product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age, and are in possession of a suitable device. Just ignore the bits about 'subscription fees' and 'advertising', that's just corporate fluff talk..."
[Validity] Has Capitalism

[Effect 1a] citizens miss voting deadlines as unskippable ads keep popping up every few seconds

[Option 1b] "This is the next step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens @@RANDOMNAME@@, the party loyalist behind the app. "The GovernmentGo app gives our comrades a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a party-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the public service contracts to freely distribute this product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age, and are in possession of a suitable device. There's only a small, modest commission fee to cover the costs of manpower and production..."
[Validity] Has Socialism

[Effect 1b] bringing about the communist society turns out to have a price after all

[Option 2] "We need to think bolder!" asserts your elderly but surprisingly tech-savvy Minister of Interior. "Nationalize this app instead and install it on smartphones, tablets and other such devices that we'll freely distribute to all of our citizens. Then we'll integrate the system with the parliament itself, and give all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ direct access to its proceedings! Anyone who attained the age of majority will be able to submit motions, vote on proposed legislation, and interact with the parliament directly and on the spot through the app. It'll work like a foolproof, well-oiled democratic machine, I promise!"

[Effect 2] today's motion mandates @@LEADER@@ to always address the public in a birthday suit

[Option 3] "Uh, is no one going to mention how easily hackable all this tech is?" asks the young but uncharacteristically technophobe Undersecretary of Interior. "No matter how many security systems you'll put in place, there'll always be a clever kid from Blackacre who'll be able to hack their way past them. Look, I'm all for giving direct power to the people, but everything still needs to happen by pen and paper. Just allocate enough funding to the civil service to help them cope with the system, and you'll be able to rest easy knowing our democracy is safe!"

[Effect 3] the mortality rate among the nation's bureaucrats has recently skyrocketed

[Option 4] "If we have this app and can distribute it to all citizens," begins your brother's son, the spitting image of his father. "Why do we even need the parliament, let alone elections? Just work your power as dictator in perpetuity into the constitution, and consult the people on any legislation you'd like to pass through the app. Don't you love the streamlined efficiency of it?"

[Effect 4] it turns out everyone can tell @@LEADER@@ what to do


DRAFT 5:
[Title] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

[Validity] Must allow referenda, Must not have banned Technology, Must not have banned Internet

[Description] With the number of daily referendums rising rapidly, the GovernmentGo app was put into development to facilitate this democratic process, and thus alleviate sleep-deprived vote counters. Following the completion of the initial development phase, the question arises how to implement the application nationwide.

[Option 1a] "This is the next step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens Noel Tusk, the billionaire visionary behind the app. "Our app gives its users a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a user-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the contracts to distribute our product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age, and are in possession of a suitable device. Just ignore the bits about 'subscription fees' and 'advertising', that's just corporate fluff talk..."
[Validity] Has Capitalism

[Effect 1a] citizens miss voting deadlines as unskippable ads keep popping up every few seconds

[Option 1b] "This is the next step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens @@RANDOMNAME@@, the party loyalist behind the app. "The GovernmentGo app gives our comrades a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a party-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the public service contracts to freely distribute this product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age, and are in possession of a suitable device. There's only a small, modest commission fee to cover the costs of manpower and production..."
[Validity] Has Socialism

[Effect 1b] bringing about the communist society turns out to have a price after all

[Option 2] "We need to think bolder!" asserts your elderly but surprisingly tech-savvy Minister of Interior. "Nationalize this app instead and install it on smartphones, tablets and other such devices that we'll freely distribute to all of our citizens. Then we'll be able to abolish the parliament and instead have our people determine the fate of our country directly! We'd give anyone that passed the age of majority the ability to present a motion in the app and then have everyone else vote on it. It'll work like a foolproof, well-oiled democratic machine, I promise!"

[Effect 2] today's motion mandates @@LEADER@@ to always address the public in a birthday suit

[Option 3] "Uh, is no one going to mention how easily hackable all this tech is?" asks the young but uncharacteristically technophobe Undersecretary of Interior. "No matter how many security systems you'll put in place, there'll always be a clever kid from Blackacre who'll be able to hack their way past them. Look, I'm all for giving direct power to the people, but everything still needs to happen by pen and paper. Just allocate enough funding to the civil service to help them cope with the expanded system, and you'll be able to rest easy knowing our democracy is safe!"

[Effect 3] the mortality rate among the nation's bureaucrats has recently skyrocketed


DRAFT 4:
[Title] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

[Validity] Must allow referenda, Must not have banned Technology, Must not have banned Internet

[Description] Following the widespread and thorough involvement of @@NAME@@'s citizens into the legislative process, the GovernmentGO app was put into development to the relieve the overtaxed vote tellers, who claim to have developed nightmares about being chased by flesh-eating ballot boxes recently. Now, with alpha and beta testing complete, your government has been petitioned to implement the application nationwide.

[Option 1a] "This is the next step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens Noel Tusk, the billionaire visionary behind the app. "Our app gives its users a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a user-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the contracts to distribute our product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age. Just ignore the bits about 'subscription fees' and 'advertising', that's just corporate fluff talk..."
[Validity] Has Capitalism

[Effect 1a] citizens miss voting deadlines as unskippable ads keep popping up every few seconds

[Option 1b] "This is the next step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens @@RANDOMNAME@@, the party loyalist behind the app. "The GovernmentGo app gives our comrades a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a party-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the public service contracts to freely distribute this product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age. There's only a small, modest commission fee to cover the costs of manpower and production..."
[Validity] Has Socialism

[Effect 1b] bringing about the communist society turns out to have a price after all

[Option 2] "We need to think bolder!" asserts your elderly but surprisingly tech-savvy Minister of Interior. "Nationalize this app instead and install it on smartphones, tablets and other such devices that we'll freely distribute to all of our citizens. Then we'll be able to abolish the parliament and instead have our people determine the fate of our country directly! We'd give anyone that passed the age of majority the ability to present a motion in the app and then have everyone else vote on it. It'll work like a foolproof, well-oiled democratic machine, I promise!"

[Effect 2] today's motion mandates @@LEADER@@ to always address the public in a birthday suit

[Option 3] "Uh, is no one going to mention how easily hackable all this tech is?" asks the young but uncharacteristically technophobe Undersecretary of Interior. "No matter how many security systems you'll put in place, there'll always be a clever kid from Blackacre who'll be able to hack their way past them. Look, I'm all for giving direct power to the people, but everything still needs to happen by pen and paper. Just allocate enough funding to the civil service to help them cope with the expanded system, and you'll be able to rest easy knowing our democracy is safe!"

[Effect 3] the mortality rate among the nation's bureaucrats has recently skyrocketed


DRAFT 3:
[Title] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

[Validity] Must allow referenda, Must not have banned Technology, Must not have banned Internet

[Description] Following the widespread and thorough involvement of @@NAME@@'s citizens into the legislative process, the GovernmentGO app was put into development, which promises to end the nightmares about being chased by flesh-eating ballot boxes that overtaxed vote tellers seem to have developed recently. Now, with alpha and beta testing complete, your government has been petitioned to implement the application nationwide.

[Option 1a] "This is the next, vital step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens Noel Tusk, the billionaire visionary behind the app. "Our app gives its users a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a user-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the contracts to distribute our product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age. Just ignore the bits about 'subscription fees' and 'advertising', that's just corporate fluff talk..."
[Validity] Has Capitalism

[Effect 1a] citizens miss voting deadlines as unskippable ads keep popping up every few seconds

[Option 1b] "This is the next, vital step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens @@RANDOMNAME@@, the party loyalist behind the app. "The GovernmentGo app gives our comrades a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a party-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the public service contracts to freely distribute this product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age. There's only a small, modest commission fee to cover the costs of manpower and production..."
[Validity] Has Socialism

[Effect 1b] bringing about the communist society turns out to have a price after all

[Option 2] "We need to think bolder!" asserts your elderly but surprisingly tech-savvy Minister of Interior. "Nationalize this app instead and install it on smartphones, tablets and other such devices that we'll freely distribute to all of our citizens. Then we'll be able to abolish the parliament and instead have our people determine the fate of our country directly! We'd give anyone that passed the age of majority the ability to present a motion in the app and then have everyone else vote on it. It'll work like a foolproof, well-oiled democratic machine, I promise!"

[Effect 2] today's motion mandates @@LEADER@@ to always address the public in a birthday suit

[Option 3] "Uh, is no one going to mention how easily hackable all this tech is?" asks the young but uncharacteristically technophobe Undersecretary of Interior. "No matter how many security systems you'll put in place, there'll always be a clever kid from Blackacre who'll be able to hack their way past them. Look, I'm all for giving direct power to the people, but everything needs to happen by pen and paper. Just allocate enough funding to the civil service to help them cope with the new system, and you'll be able to rest easy knowing our democracy is safe!"

[Effect 3] the mortality rate among the nation's bureaucrats has recently skyrocketed


DRAFT 2:
[Title] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

[Validity] Must allow referenda, Must not have banned Technology, Must not have banned Internet

[Description] Following the widespread and thorough involvement of @@NAME@@'s citizens into the legislative process, an app was put into development that promised to facilitate the voting process of the nation's almost daily referendums. Now, with alpha and beta testing complete, your government has been petitioned to implement the application nationwide.

[Option 1a] "This is the next, vital step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens Noel Tusk, the billionaire visionary behind the app. "The GovernmentGo app gives its users a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a user-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the contracts to distribute our product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age. Just ignore the bits about 'subscription fees' and 'advertising', that's just corporate fluff talk..."
[Validity] Has Capitalism

[Effect 1a] citizens miss voting deadlines as unskippable ads keep popping up every few seconds

[Option 1b] "This is the next, vital step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," opens @@RANDOMNAME@@, the party loyalist behind the app. "The GovernmentGo app gives our comrades a clear overview of what requires their attention, and provides a party-friendly interface when casting their vote. I assure you, there is absolutely minimal risk involved when it comes to the security of the app! We've already drawn up the public service contracts to freely distribute this product to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age. There's only a small, modest commission fee to cover the costs of manpower and production..."
[Validity] Has Socialism

[Effect 1b] bringing about the communist society turns out to have a price after all

[Option 2] "We need to think bolder!" asserts your elderly but surprisingly tech-savvy Minister of Interior. "Nationalize this app instead and install it on smartphones, tablets and other such devices that we'll freely distribute to all of our citizens. Then we'll be able to abolish the parliament and instead have our people determine the fate of our country directly! We'd give anyone that passed the age of majority the ability to present a motion in the app and then have everyone else vote on it. It'll work like a foolproof, well-oiled democratic machine, I promise!"

[Effect 2] today's motion mandates @@LEADER@@ to always address the public in a birthday suit

[Option 3] "Uh, is no one going to mention how easily hackable all this tech is?" asks the young but uncharacteristically technophobe Undersecretary of Interior. "No matter how many security systems you'll put in place, there'll always be a clever kid from Blackacre who'll be able to hack their way past them. Look, I'm all for giving direct power to the people, but everything needs to happen by pen and paper. Just allocate enough funding to the civil service to help them cope with the new system, and you'll be able to rest easy knowing our democracy is safe!"

[Effect 3] the mortality rate among the nation's bureaucrats has recently skyrocketed


DRAFT 1:
[Title] Putting The 'E' In Democracy

[Validity] Must allow referenda, Must not have banned Technology, Must not have banned Internet

[Description] Following the widespread and thorough involvement of @@NAME@@'s citizens into the legislative process, the billionaire visionary Noel Tusk came up with an app that makes it easier for @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to cast their votes in the nation's almost daily referendums. As such, he is petitioning your government to implement his creation nationally.

[Option 1a] "This is the next, vital step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," Tusk begins his sales pitch. "The GovernmentGo app allows any user owning a smartphone to see which motions, amendments or projects they have yet to vote for, and provides a user-friendly interface when casting that vote. I assure you, the app is entirely safe to use, as only 1 out of 10 test hackers managed to crack our security and alter the data input! We've already drawn up the contracts to distribute our app to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age. Just ignore the bits about 'subscription fees' and 'advertising', that's just corporate fluff talk..."
[Validity] Has Capitalism

[Effect 1a] citizens miss voting deadlines as unskippable ads keep popping up every few seconds

[Option 1b] "This is the next, vital step in making a true e-democracy out of @@NAME@@," Tusk opens his pitch. "The GovernmentGo app allows any user owning a smartphone to see which motions, amendments or projects they have yet to vote for, and provides a user-friendly interface when casting that vote. I assure you, the app is entirely safe to use, as only 1 out of 10 test hackers managed to crack our security and alter the data input! We've already drawn up the public service contracts to freely distribute our app to all citizens who have passed the legal voting age. We only need the government to pay a modest commission fee to cover all the profits we would have generated from subscription fees and advertising otherwise..."
[Validity] Has Socialism

[Effect 1b] bringing about the communist society turns out to have a price after all

[Option 2] "We need to think bolder!" asserts your elderly but surprisingly tech-savvy Minister of Interior. "We need to nationalize this app and install it on smartphones, tablets and other such devices that we'll freely distribute to all of our citizens. Then we'll be able to abolish the parliament and instead have our people determine the fate of our country directly! Can you imagine the envy we'd be among fellow democracies? We'd give anyone that passed the age of majority the ability to present a motion in the app and then have everyone else vote on it. Surely none of our citizens would abuse the power we'd give them?"

[Effect 2] today's motion mandates @@LEADER@@ to always address the public in a birthday suit

[Option 3] "Uh, is no one going to point out how bad an idea it is to have our nation be run through easily hackable apps and computers?" asks the young but uncharacteristically technophobe Undersecretary of Interior. "No matter how many security systems you'll put in place, there'll always be a clever kid from Blackacre who'll be able to hack his or her way past them. Look, I'm all for abolishing the parliament and giving direct power to the people, but everything needs to happen by pen and paper. Sure, it'll probably put an unimaginable strain on our government workers, but if you'd fund the civil service more healthily, surely they'd get over it quickly!"

[Effect 3] the mortality rate among the nation's bureaucrats has recently skyrocketed
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Wed Sep 30, 2020 3:32 am, edited 20 times in total.
The Royal State of Daarwyrth

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarsted | Government type: Unitary parliamentary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71

My nations: Daarwyrth, Kentauria and Uylensted

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Westinor
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Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Fri Aug 14, 2020 8:55 pm

Personally like “Putting the ‘E” in Democracy’ better :p
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Stay safe, wear a mask, and have a great day! :)

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Daarwyrth
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Posts: 951
Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Sat Aug 15, 2020 2:39 am

Westinor wrote:Personally like “Putting the ‘E” in Democracy’ better :p


I agree! It has a singsongy quality about it. Changed it accordingly!
The Royal State of Daarwyrth

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarsted | Government type: Unitary parliamentary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71

My nations: Daarwyrth, Kentauria and Uylensted

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SherpDaWerp
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Sat Aug 15, 2020 2:48 am

Daarwyrth wrote:Following the widespread and thorough involvement of @@NAME@@'s citizens into the legislative process, the billionaire visionary Noel Tusk came up with an app that makes it easier for @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to cast their votes in the nation's almost daily referendums. As such, he is petitioning your government to implement his creation nationally.

Introducing Noel Tusk in the description muddies the doppelganger-ing of Option 1, because "billionaire visionary" is hardly the typical introduction for a socialist. You could cut the introduction from the description and instead introduce him in Option 1a as a billionaire visionary and Option 1b as a party loyalist, or something similar.

It would mean 1b has a significantly less elon musk-style character, but currently it seems quite odd due to the double-introduction.

Additionally, most of your options have the "well, [bad thing]" cliche - the 1/10 hackers thing in Option 1; the "surely none... would abuse the power" in Option 2; the "unimaginable strain" in Option 3; see if there are more subtle ways to state these downsides. For instance, in Option 3, you could cut the "unimaginable strain" sentence fragment and just say "Make sure the civil service gets enough money to cope with the votes". That way, it's hinted that the public service currently can't cope with the votes, but nowhere does it outright state such a downside.
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Sun Aug 16, 2020 9:28 am

SherpDaWerp wrote:
Daarwyrth wrote:Following the widespread and thorough involvement of @@NAME@@'s citizens into the legislative process, the billionaire visionary Noel Tusk came up with an app that makes it easier for @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to cast their votes in the nation's almost daily referendums. As such, he is petitioning your government to implement his creation nationally.

Introducing Noel Tusk in the description muddies the doppelganger-ing of Option 1, because "billionaire visionary" is hardly the typical introduction for a socialist. You could cut the introduction from the description and instead introduce him in Option 1a as a billionaire visionary and Option 1b as a party loyalist, or something similar.

It would mean 1b has a significantly less elon musk-style character, but currently it seems quite odd due to the double-introduction.

Additionally, most of your options have the "well, [bad thing]" cliche - the 1/10 hackers thing in Option 1; the "surely none... would abuse the power" in Option 2; the "unimaginable strain" in Option 3; see if there are more subtle ways to state these downsides. For instance, in Option 3, you could cut the "unimaginable strain" sentence fragment and just say "Make sure the civil service gets enough money to cope with the votes". That way, it's hinted that the public service currently can't cope with the votes, but nowhere does it outright state such a downside.


Alright, I have worked your feedback into the newest draft! I'd love to know whether it has improved :)
The Royal State of Daarwyrth

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarsted | Government type: Unitary parliamentary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71

My nations: Daarwyrth, Kentauria and Uylensted

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SherpDaWerp
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Sun Aug 16, 2020 4:15 pm

Much better.

Daarwyrth wrote:There's only a modest commission fee to cover the loss of profit that would've been generated otherwise...
This still seems weird. What does "otherwise" refer to?

Also, your validity for Option 1b should be "socialism", not "capitalism".
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Any premise tips, option structure, re-written bits, advice, or ideas for issues that I provide are fair game to be used by anyone.

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Daarwyrth
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Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Sun Aug 16, 2020 4:46 pm

SherpDaWerp wrote:Much better.

Daarwyrth wrote:There's only a modest commission fee to cover the loss of profit that would've been generated otherwise...
This still seems weird. What does "otherwise" refer to?

Also, your validity for Option 1b should be "socialism", not "capitalism".


Thank you!

I've changed the bit about "otherwise" to something that hopefully sounds better :)

And the error is taken care of! I must have forgotten to adjust it when I copied over the 1a text to socialise it :P
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Sun Aug 16, 2020 4:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The Royal State of Daarwyrth

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarsted | Government type: Unitary parliamentary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71

My nations: Daarwyrth, Kentauria and Uylensted

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Westinor
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Wed Aug 19, 2020 8:31 pm

Oh, I just realized - is this not a branch off from #476.1? Interesting. I wonder if this conflicts validity-wise? Perhaps you could consider restructuring the issue a bit to go off of that one.
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Daarwyrth
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Founded: Jul 05, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Thu Aug 20, 2020 2:40 am

Westinor wrote:Oh, I just realized - is this not a branch off from #476.1? Interesting. I wonder if this conflicts validity-wise? Perhaps you could consider restructuring the issue a bit to go off of that one.


I see what you're saying, but I didn't have that one in mind when writing this. This specifically is a "follow-up" on the issues where you can enable a sort of semi-direct democracy, through the introduction of referendums. The app described here is meant to cater specifically to the citizens, while the app described in option 1 of #476 is for the parliamentarians. I think that distinction warrants the existence of both separately, because the issue you mention doesn’t reference referendums or direct democracy.
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Thu Aug 20, 2020 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
The Royal State of Daarwyrth

Our Leader: Queen Demi Maria I | Our Capital: Daarsted | Government type: Unitary parliamentary semi-constitutional monarchy | Technology level: Post-Modern Tech | Civilization index: 13.71

My nations: Daarwyrth, Kentauria and Uylensted

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Australian rePublic
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Capitalist Paradise

Postby Australian rePublic » Thu Aug 20, 2020 5:30 am

This issue cancels itself out. If everyone on daily referendums, then this would certainly be an issue which would be voted for by referendum. At that stage, this becomes an issue for the people, rather than an issue for leader
If you're against political parties who support the CCP, then vote against the Australian Labor Party
The only reason why countries bid to host the games is for tourism. This is why countries plan to boycott the Beijing winter Olympics. By cancelling the 2020/21 Olympics, Japan is defacto recieving the same punishment as China, but Japan did nothing wrong since World War II
Until if and when the Spanish language evolves to allow for gender-neutrality to not be impossible, (which will take at least centuries), the concept of "LatinX" is completely ridiculous
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Thu Aug 20, 2020 8:13 am

Australian rePublic wrote:This issue cancels itself out. If everyone on daily referendums, then this would certainly be an issue which would be voted for by referendum. At that stage, this becomes an issue for the people, rather than an issue for leader


No, it doesn't. This is solely about the legislative power, not the executive. Leader remains the executive power in the nation along with their cabinet. The only mentioning of a direct democracy is regarding the legislative branch in the separation of powers. As such, the issue does not cancel itself out.
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Thu Aug 20, 2020 8:59 am

Daarwyrth wrote:
Westinor wrote:Oh, I just realized - is this not a branch off from #476.1? Interesting. I wonder if this conflicts validity-wise? Perhaps you could consider restructuring the issue a bit to go off of that one.


I see what you're saying, but I didn't have that one in mind when writing this. This specifically is a "follow-up" on the issues where you can enable a sort of semi-direct democracy, through the introduction of referendums. The app described here is meant to cater specifically to the citizens, while the app described in option 1 of #476 is for the parliamentarians. I think that distinction warrants the existence of both separately, because the issue you mention doesn’t reference referendums or direct democracy.


Got that.

Daarwyrth wrote:an app was put into development that promised to facilitate the voting process of the nation's almost daily referendums


A few things with this sentence - Why not mention GovernmentGo in the description? It seems fine there, and "an app" just feels awkward. "that promised to" is also strange wording (particularly if you take my suggestion before), why not ", promising to", or "which"(that's specific to the suggestion). In general, "facilitate the voting process..." feels boring and explains the problem in a drab way. I think you could add more flavor - describe how horribly inefficient or inconvenient the voting process was, or mention how the citizens were struggling to keep up with the constant referenda. This doesn't mean overexplain it, but give the wording more life!
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:30 am

Daarwyrth wrote:A few things with this sentence - Why not mention GovernmentGo in the description? It seems fine there, and "an app" just feels awkward. "that promised to" is also strange wording (particularly if you take my suggestion before), why not ", promising to", or "which"(that's specific to the suggestion). In general, "facilitate the voting process..." feels boring and explains the problem in a drab way. I think you could add more flavor - describe how horribly inefficient or inconvenient the voting process was, or mention how the citizens were struggling to keep up with the constant referenda. This doesn't mean overexplain it, but give the wording more life!

Alright, I worked your feedback into the newest draft! Hopefully the new line has a bit more life, as you suggested? :) if not, let me know and I'll try to think of something else!
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Fri Aug 21, 2020 9:31 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Mon Aug 24, 2020 5:06 am

I have put up a new draft with a few tweaks to the premise's wording and small adjustments in the options. I'd love to know what people think!
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Aug 26, 2020 1:58 am

I love the title, but this...

[Description] Following the widespread and thorough involvement of @@NAME@@'s citizens into the legislative process, the GovernmentGO app was put into development to the relieve the overtaxed vote tellers, who claim to have developed nightmares about being chased by flesh-eating ballot boxes recently. Now, with alpha and beta testing complete, your government has been petitioned to implement the application nationwide.


I've read it three times and I still don't get it. I read:

*waffle* GovernmentGO app *waffle*


How about we take out all the extraneous information, which is everything here except the name of the app, and add some pertinent information like what the app actually does, and why it is controversial?
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Wed Aug 26, 2020 4:18 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I love the title, but this...

[Description] Following the widespread and thorough involvement of @@NAME@@'s citizens into the legislative process, the GovernmentGO app was put into development to the relieve the overtaxed vote tellers, who claim to have developed nightmares about being chased by flesh-eating ballot boxes recently. Now, with alpha and beta testing complete, your government has been petitioned to implement the application nationwide.


I've read it three times and I still don't get it. I read:

*waffle* GovernmentGO app *waffle*


How about we take out all the extraneous information, which is everything here except the name of the app, and add some pertinent information like what the app actually does, and why it is controversial?


Done! The current text of the premise should be less convoluted, and hopefully easier to understand.

Originally, the text was more along the lines of what it is now, but some of the comments said to liven up the premise text instead of putting it as dry as I did before. I hope that there is now a balance between the two, with the small comment about the sleep-deprived vote counters :)
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Wed Aug 26, 2020 4:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Aug 26, 2020 4:32 am

Much better.

My main worry now is that option 2 installs direct democracy.

That's not a bad thing for us to have in Nationstates, but I suspect many editors may be put off by the sheer workload of implementing such an option. Direct democracy would likely need a new policy, and then a check of all the issues in the game to see if they are compatible with that new policy, with relevant exclusions coded in place.

If you wanted to be pragmatic, you might want to change that option to make it an issue that is less work to publish.
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Wed Aug 26, 2020 4:47 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Much better.

My main worry now is that option 2 installs direct democracy.

That's not a bad thing for us to have in Nationstates, but I suspect many editors may be put off by the sheer workload of implementing such an option. Direct democracy would likely need a new policy, and then a check of all the issues in the game to see if they are compatible with that new policy, with relevant exclusions coded in place.

If you wanted to be pragmatic, you might want to change that option to make it an issue that is less work to publish.


That was indeed one of my concerns when writing the issue draft, as I recall in the past the workload such an option would entail was mentioned. I decided to write it in and see what comments it would attract, in the end.

But your suggestion is a good one! I'd love to see direct democracy be implemented into NationStates someday, but I understand the workload it would bring with it. I'll see if I can't tweak option 2 to come really close to direct democracy, but leave enough room to avoid the need for the development of a separate policy option for it.

Unless, of course, there would be an editor really, really excited at the prospect of bringing a direct democracy policy into the game xD
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Wed Aug 26, 2020 8:54 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:If you wanted to be pragmatic, you might want to change that option to make it an issue that is less work to publish.


Alright, the newest draft is up with a few changes!

- Option 2 would no longer install direct democracy, but instead come to a system really close to it, where the parliament is still intact.
- An Option 4 has been added, that allows the player to get rid of parliament and elections, but still keep the referenda intact through the use of the app, basically creating a constitutional, benevolent dictatorship.

Feedback on this would be appreciates!
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Sat Sep 05, 2020 1:38 pm

Any new thoughts or comments on the current draft? :)
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Allenstadt
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Postby Allenstadt » Mon Sep 07, 2020 11:55 pm

Not many readers would get 'noel tusk', if you mean Elon musk. Put something a little closer, like Melon Husk.

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SherpDaWerp
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Tue Sep 08, 2020 12:00 am

Allenstadt wrote:Put something a little closer, like Melon Husk.

Except that Melon Husk already appears in #669.
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Wed Sep 09, 2020 4:36 am

Allenstadt wrote:Not many readers would get 'noel tusk', if you mean Elon musk. Put something a little closer, like Melon Husk.

I think Noel Tusk should be fine. I used the same reference in another draft that's already submitted, and everyone commenting there seemed to get it. As such, I see nothing wrong with keeping it Noel Tusk :)
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Westinor
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Wed Sep 09, 2020 7:08 am

Daarwyrth wrote:
Allenstadt wrote:Not many readers would get 'noel tusk', if you mean Elon musk. Put something a little closer, like Melon Husk.

I think Noel Tusk should be fine. I used the same reference in another draft that's already submitted, and everyone commenting there seemed to get it. As such, I see nothing wrong with keeping it Noel Tusk :)


Hmph, where are the variations of Elon Musk? >:( We need to keep the chain going (I suspect the editors do that themselves though?) :p
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Daarwyrth
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Daarwyrth » Wed Sep 09, 2020 7:59 am

Westinor wrote:
Daarwyrth wrote:I think Noel Tusk should be fine. I used the same reference in another draft that's already submitted, and everyone commenting there seemed to get it. As such, I see nothing wrong with keeping it Noel Tusk :)


Hmph, where are the variations of Elon Musk? >:( We need to keep the chain going (I suspect the editors do that themselves though?) :p

Noel Tusk is a variation of Elon Musk! ;) hmm, would Elene Musque be another option? Or E. Long Musque?

EDIT: I have decided to change Noel Tusk to E. Long Musque after all!
Last edited by Daarwyrth on Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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