[SUBMITTED] Atomic Split

[Daarwyrth]

Big thank you to Electrum for making the suggestion to change the topic of this issue a little

---

CURRENT DRAFT:

[Title] Atomic Split

[Validity] Must have chosen 67.1 or 466.4, Must have WMDs

[Description] With your government allowing provinces to formally secede, East @@ANIMAL@@land has declared its intention to become a sovereign state. However, that territory not only contains several military bases, but more importantly, it holds a large portion of your nation's nuclear stockpile.

[Option 1] "Well, Violet on a popsicle stick!" exclaims your Minister of Interior, clutching @@HIS@@ head. "Honestly, you need to establish some ground rules around this secession scheme of yours! We need to immediately deny East @@ANIMAL@@land their request for independence, and the same goes for any other region or province that holds anything of importance to @@NAME@@'s continued existence. Either they'll happily stay a part of our nation or we'll make them, by force if necessary!"

[Effect 1] prospecting secessionists happily declare how worthless and unimportant they are

[Option 2] "Come now, old friend, surely you don't want to be seen doing anything as draconian as that?" coos the self-appointed Minister of State of the hopefully-soon-to-be-independent nation of East @@ANIMAL@@land. "We'd be more than happy to sell you your radioactive poppers back once we become an independent state. I'm afraid the price will be rather steep though, seeing as how we'll need to fill our newly independent treasury... But surely any cost will be worth getting your shiny, deadly toys back, no?"

[Effect 2] the Ministry of Finance went into a meltdown upon hearing the price to avoid nuclear disaster

[Option 3] Your Minister of Intelligence, blending in perfectly with the background of the room, whispers into your ear. "Don't startle, it's me @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@! There's another solution, you know. You'll sign their declaration of independence to keep up appearances, but I'll mount a covert operation to infiltrate the military bases holding our WMDs to render them non-operational. Sure, East @@ANIMAL@@land will still have the husks which they could potentially reverse engineer, but it'll buy us at least a few years to stock up on a new, even deadlier nuclear arsenal!"

[Effect 3] @@NAME@@ isn't the only thing that's falling apart

DRAFT 5:

[Title] Atomic Split

[Validity] Must have chosen 67.1 or 466.4, Must have WMDs

[Description] With your government allowing provinces to formally secede, East @@ANIMAL@@land has declared its intention to become a sovereign state. However, that territory not only contains several military bases, but more importantly, it holds a large portion of your nation's nuclear stockpile.

[Option 1] "Well, Violet on a popsicle stick!" exclaims your Minister of Interior, clutching @@HIS@@ head. "Honestly, you need to establish some ground rules around this secession scheme of yours! We need to immediately deny East @@ANIMAL@@land their request for independence, and the same goes for any other region or province that holds anything of importance to @@NAME@@'s continued existence. Either they'll happily stay a part of our nation or we'll make them, by force if necessary!"

[Effect 1] only barren strokes of land with no resources to offer can merrily secede from @@NAME@@

[Option 2] "Come now, old friend, surely you don't want to be seen doing anything as draconian as that?" coos the self-appointed Minister of State of the hopefully-soon-to-be-independent nation of East @@ANIMAL@@land. "We'd be more than happy to sell you your radioactive poppers back once we become an independent state. I'm afraid the price will be rather steep though, seeing as how we'll need to fill our newly independent treasury... But surely any cost will be worth getting your shiny, deadly toys back, no?"

[Effect 2] the Ministry of Finance went into a meltdown upon hearing the price to avoid nuclear disaster

[Option 3] Your Minister of Intelligence, blending in perfectly with the background of the room, whispers into your ear. "Don't startle, it's me @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@! There's another solution, you know. You'll sign their declaration of independence to keep up appearances, but I'll mount a covert operation to infiltrate the military bases holding our WMDs to render them non-operational. Sure, East @@ANIMAL@@land will still have the husks which they could potentially reverse engineer, but it'll buy us at least a few years to stock up on a new, even deadlier nuclear arsenal!"

[Effect 3] nothing ever seems to work in newly independent nations after seceding from @@NAME@@

DRAFT 4:

[Title] Atomic Split

[Validity] Must have chosen 67.1 or 466.4, Must have WMDs

[Description] @@NAME@@ is about to split! Following your decision to formally legalize secession, the province of East @@ANIMAL@@land has initiated the process to secede from your nation in order to become its own sovereign state. However, right as you were about to formally approve the declaration, one of your aides burst into the room yelling: "you can't do that, the bulk of our WMD reserves lies in East @@ANIMAL@@land!"

[Option 1] "Well, Violet on a popsicle stick!" exclaims your Minister of Interior, dropping @@HIS@@ pen. "Honestly, I held my tongue earlier, but do you see what this ill-conceived secession scheme of yours is doing? It's bringing chaos and disruption to our entire governmental apparatus, making us overlook vitally important things! We absolutely cannot allow this secession to continue and need to immediately deny East @@ANIMAL@@land their request for independence. The same goes for any other region or province that holds anything of value to @@NAME@@. Either they'll happily stay a part of our nation or we'll make them!"

[Effect 1] only barren strokes of land with no resources to offer can merrily secede from @@NAME@@

[Option 2] "Come now, old friend, you don't want to do anything as draconian as that," coos the self-appointed Minister of State of the almost-but-not-entirely-independent nation of East @@ANIMAL@@land. "You didn't mention anything about your radioactive poppers during the negotiations, so we simply assumed you were okay with us having them and kept innocently quiet about it! But we'd be more than happy to sell them back to you once we become an independent state. I'm afraid the price will be rather steep though, seeing as how we'll need to fill our newly independent treasury... But surely any cost will be worth getting your shiny, deadly toys back, no?"

[Effect 2] hearing the price to avoid nuclear annihilation made the Minister of Finance explode

[Option 3] Your Minister of Intelligence, blending in perfectly with the background of the room, whispers into your ear. "Don't startle, it's me @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@! There's another solution, you know. You'll sign their declaration of independence to keep up appearances, but I'll mount a covert operation to infiltrate the military bases holding our WMDs to render them non-operational. Sure, East @@ANIMAL@@land will still have the husks which they could potentially reverse engineer, but it'll buy us at least a few years to stock up on a new, even deadlier nuclear arsenal!"

[Effect 3] nothing ever seems to work in newly independent nations after seceding from @@NAME@@

DRAFT 3:

[Title] Atomic Split

[Validity] Must have chosen 67.1 or 466.4, Must have WMDs

[Description] @@NAME@@ is splitting! With your decision to formally legalize secession from the @@TYPE@@, the province of East @@ANIMAL@@land has declared its independence from your nation and formed its own sovereign state. Yet there is one tiny, little detail that turns this occurrence into a potential death sentence for @@NAME@@: East @@ANIMAL@@land holds the bulk of your country's WMD reserves.

[Option 1]"Well, Violet on a popsicle stick," comments your Minister of Defense @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We'll simply have to respond to the situation like any other sane nation would, namely with a full-scale invasion of East @@ANIMAL@@land! From what intelligence told me, their soldiers are still hungover from celebrating their independence and the citizens walk around aimlessly with no idea as to what do with their freedom. If we strike quick, hard and without mercy, we'll have our sweet, radioactive poppers back in our hands before you can spell 'nuclear fallout'! Then, what's left of their little country can be returned to those vile traitors."

[Effect 1] @@NAME@@ no longer asks nicely to get its toys back

[Option 2] "Come now, old friend, is violence really the only solution you can think of?" says the self-appointed Minister of State of East @ANIMAL@@land, posing in front of an arsenal of WMDs with a big, smug grin on @@HIS@@ face, the weapons all pointed in @@CAPITAL@@'s direction. "Look, we're a newly formed state, so our treasury is as good as empty. You want your toys back, we are in need of money. Buy your WMDs for any price we deem fit and the problem will resolve itself! We'll be happy, you'll be poor, what more could you wish for?"

[Effect 2] the Minister of Finance exploded at hearing the price of avoiding nuclear annihilation

[Option 3] "Or," begins the Minister of Intelligence, sucking on a popsicle stick depicting Violet. "We could simply execute the secret detonation routine we had installed into the weapons, in case they'd fall into the wrong hands. Hey, don't look at me like that! Unlike you, I like to be prepared. Sure, East @@ANIMAL@@land will become uninhabitable for centuries and we'll have to evacuate our border towns and cities, but at least we'll get rid of our WMD reserves. Wasn't that what those protesting hippies wanted?"

[Effect 3] @@NAME@@ became WMD-free with a bang

DRAFT 2:

[Title] Power, Inseparable Power!

[Validity] Must have chosen 67.1 or 466.4, Must not have Autocracy

[Description] Several regions in your nation have taken advantage of new legislation legalising secession, forming a militant confederacy known as the Coalition of Independent States. Seemingly bent on fracturing all of @@NAME@@, the CIS has been inciting potential secessionists to act as well. With an apparent separatist crisis at hand, the parliament is prepared to grant you temporary emergency powers, so as to swiftly put an end to this brewing conflict, effectively turning the nation into a constitutional dictatorship.

[Option 1] "You are the Parliament!" declares Shiva Palpable, the Majority Leader. "It's true that you have fractured our beautiful nation into a thousand pieces with your decision to allow these roguish fiends to secede, but what you have broken you can also mend! You just need the right tools of state to make the repairs swiftly and mercilessly, which my peers and I are willing to grant you. In fact, if you accept, we could make you a constitutional dictator any time a crisis rears its head. And if anyone opposes you heroically saving our nation from any threat - real or manufactured - just say it's treason, then."

[Effect 1] @@NAME@@ mysteriously gets swept up in weekly crises that require @@LEADER@@ to reign supreme

[Option 2] "Not yet!" counters Macy Window pointedly, leader of the opposition. "The principles of democracy have guided us this far, and so they shall continue to do into the future. This is a crisis we have to solve with diplomacy and dialogue, not with the creation of despots and the use of brute force. If the members of the CIS seek to secede, then that is a wish we have to respect. Yet we need clear, transparent and open negotiations during which the terms of their secession are hammered out in excessive detail. It's too dangerous to leave this unregulated!"

[Effect 2] secessionists abandon any hope of independence in the face of the labyrinthine process of seceding

DRAFT 1:

[Title] Power, Inseparable Power!

[Validity] Must have chosen 67.1 or 466.4, Must not have Autocracy

[Description] Since @@NAME@@ allowed its territories to more easily secede, many regions in your nation have made use of this right, forming the Coalition of Independent States. Their intents are much more militant however, and they seek to takes large swathes of territory with them, by force if necessary. With tensions mounting exponentially in the face of this separatist crisis, the parliament is prepared to grant you emergency powers, so as to swiftly put an end to this brewing conflict.

[Option 1] "You are the Parliament!" declares Shiva Palpable, the creator of the motion to put you at the head of a constitutional dictatorship for the duration of the crisis. "It's true that you have fractured our beautiful nation into a thousand pieces with your decision to allow these roguish fiends to secede, but what you have broken you can also mend! You just need the right tools of state to make the repairs swiftly and mercilessly, which my peers and I are willing to grant you. In fact, if you accept, we could make you a constitutional dictator any time a crisis rears its head. And if anyone opposes you heroically saving our nation from any threat - real of manufactured - say it's treason, then."

[Effect 1] @@NAME@@ mysteriously gets swept up in weekly crises that require @@LEADER@@ to reign supreme

[Option 2] "Not yet!" counters Macy Window pointedly, the leader of the opposition to the motion to grant you emergency powers. "The principles of democracy have guided us this far, and so they shall continue to do into the future. This is a crisis we have to solve with diplomacy and dialogue, not with the creation of despots and the use of brute force. If the members of the CIS seek to secede, then that is a wish we have to respect. Yet we need clear, transparent and open negotiations during which the terms of their secession are hammered out in excessive detail. It's too dangerous to leave this unregulated!"

[Effect 2] secessionists abandon hopes of independence in the face of the labyrinthine process of seceding

[Westinor]

Since @@NAME@@ allowed its territories to more easily secede, many regions in your nation have made use of this right, forming the Coalition of Independent States.

Weird phrasing. Maybe change it to something like "Several regions in your nation have taken advantage of new legislation legalising succession, forming a militant confederacy known as "The Coalition of Independent States". This combines the first sentence and half of the second, allowing you to better explain the conflict.

Here's where I have a problem, though - where exactly are they taking large swathes of territory from? If they're taking it form your nation, then isn't that a regular act of war, since they're independent nations now? Or at least a security threat that warrants actions of defense, since these states are now a militant threat that can't be simply assimilated back into @@NAME@@? It might be a bit more compelling if they're continuously getting more parts of your nation to secede through other methods, diplomatic or otherwise. I'm a bit unsure of the entire response to this crisis in the options.

the creator of the motion to put you at the head of a constitutional dictatorship for the duration of the crisis.

the leader of the opposition to the motion to grant you emergency powers

You don't need to describe who they are, since they are already opposing/supporting these motions themselves, and the fact that they are leading either side doesn't really add anything to their dialogue. Character actions may serve better here, or at least title descriptions like "Opposition Leader" and "Majority Leader".

[Daarwyrth]

Since @@NAME@@ allowed its territories to more easily secede, many regions in your nation have made use of this right, forming the Coalition of Independent States.

Weird phrasing. Maybe change it to something like "Several regions in your nation have taken advantage of new legislation legalising succession, forming a militant confederacy known as "The Coalition of Independent States". This combines the first sentence and half of the second, allowing you to better explain the conflict.

Here's where I have a problem, though - where exactly are they taking large swathes of territory from? If they're taking it form your nation, then isn't that a regular act of war, since they're independent nations now? Or at least a security threat that warrants actions of defense, since these states are now a militant threat that can't be simply assimilated back into @@NAME@@? It might be a bit more compelling if they're continuously getting more parts of your nation to secede through other methods, diplomatic or otherwise. I'm a bit unsure of the entire response to this crisis in the options.

the creator of the motion to put you at the head of a constitutional dictatorship for the duration of the crisis.

the leader of the opposition to the motion to grant you emergency powers

You don't need to describe who they are, since they are already opposing/supporting these motions themselves, and the fact that they are leading either side doesn't really add anything to their dialogue. Character actions may serve better here, or at least title descriptions like "Opposition Leader" and "Majority Leader".

I have worked your feedback into the new draft! Hopefully the changed premise works a little better?

[Westinor]

Weird phrasing. Maybe change it to something like "Several regions in your nation have taken advantage of new legislation legalising succession, forming a militant confederacy known as "The Coalition of Independent States". This combines the first sentence and half of the second, allowing you to better explain the conflict.

Here's where I have a problem, though - where exactly are they taking large swathes of territory from? If they're taking it form your nation, then isn't that a regular act of war, since they're independent nations now? Or at least a security threat that warrants actions of defense, since these states are now a militant threat that can't be simply assimilated back into @@NAME@@? It might be a bit more compelling if they're continuously getting more parts of your nation to secede through other methods, diplomatic or otherwise. I'm a bit unsure of the entire response to this crisis in the options.





You don't need to describe who they are, since they are already opposing/supporting these motions themselves, and the fact that they are leading either side doesn't really add anything to their dialogue. Character actions may serve better here, or at least title descriptions like "Opposition Leader" and "Majority Leader".

I have worked your feedback into the new draft! Hopefully the changed premise works a little better?

Hm, it's interesting because there are several switches in the premise - the actual event is the secession of several states and resulting conflict, yet the solution proposed is giving leader dictatorial powers. Putting aside other issues that make the government an autocracy, I don't see why leader needs to have absolute power in order to lead the nation against the secessionists. Surely, if they pose a threat to national security, leader (as the assumed commander-in-chief) already has the ability to lead the nation in war against this threat?

I think if leader were to be granted absolute power, it would have to be in the event that a certain freedom held by democratic citizens are being abused. This could be something like a civil war, or perhaps the parliament/congress using their power in some event (perhaps that part of the parliament/congress would have a bias towards) to strangle leader's capability to deal with this threat. I don't think just having the secessionists be a threat is enough of a reason to give leader dictatorial powers, particularly if its not something a regular leader can't already deal with. (there is merit in the idea that its a legal secession, but irl I don't think there's lots of precedent for a leader needing dictatorial powers to deal with something like that.)

[Daarwyrth]

Granted, this issue idea came up in a spur of the moment, and was primarily inspired by the desire to include a Star Wars reference ;P while rereading it after a few hours, I am not too pleased with the issue idea myself, especially its execution.

I think I am going to let this one sit for a bit, and perhaps a better idea along the lines of what you described will pop into my mind later. As I think it would be interesting to write about constitutional dictatorships, but it has to have a different execution than the one I created here.

Thanks for your insight tho!

[Westinor]

Granted, this issue idea came up in a spur of the moment, and was primarily inspired by the desire to include a Star Wars reference ;P while rereading it after a few hours, I am not too pleased with the issue idea myself, especially its execution.

I think I am going to let this one sit for a bit, and perhaps a better idea along the lines of what you described will pop into my mind later. As I think it would be interesting to write about constitutional dictatorships, but it has to have a different execution than the one I created here.

Thanks for your insight tho!

Yep, it reminds me of the actual plot of the Star Wars movies, though. Definitely a good idea to keep pursuing.

[Electrum]

I think I am going to let this one sit for a bit, and perhaps a better idea along the lines of what you described will pop into my mind later. As I think it would be interesting to write about constitutional dictatorships, but it has to have a different execution than the one I created here.

I like the idea about an issue exploring the consequences of allowing secessionists to secede whenever they want. What about one based on a seceding country which just happens to hold the country's reserves of WMD? Kind of what happened with Ukraine holding a large portion of the former Soviet Union's nuclear weapons after its dissolution. Just spitballing here.

[Daarwyrth]

I think I am going to let this one sit for a bit, and perhaps a better idea along the lines of what you described will pop into my mind later. As I think it would be interesting to write about constitutional dictatorships, but it has to have a different execution than the one I created here.

I like the idea about an issue exploring the consequences of allowing secessionists to secede whenever they want. What about one based on a seceding country which just happens to hold the country's reserves of WMD? Kind of what happened with Ukraine holding a large portion of the former Soviet Union's nuclear weapons after its dissolution. Just spitballing here.

Ooh, I like that idea! I'll see about drafting something around that idea in here thanks for the suggestion!

[Daarwyrth]

I like the idea about an issue exploring the consequences of allowing secessionists to secede whenever they want. What about one based on a seceding country which just happens to hold the country's reserves of WMD? Kind of what happened with Ukraine holding a large portion of the former Soviet Union's nuclear weapons after its dissolution. Just spitballing here.

In light of Electrum's comment, I have changed the draft to be written around this subject and as such, also changed the title to fit the new idea!

I'd love to know what people think about this current draft

[Westinor]

@@NAME@@ is splitting! With your decision to formally legalize secession from the @@TYPE@@, the province of East @@ANIMAL@@land has declared its independence from your nation and formed its own sovereign state. Yet there is one tiny, little detail that turns this occurrence into a potential death sentence for @@NAME@@: East @@ANIMAL@@land holds the bulk of your country's WMD reserves.

Good premise, but the tense feels off. I'd change the "With" to "Following", and then change the rest of the sentence to past tense ("@@ANIMAL@@land declared its...")

The second sentences is where the tense change will help. The flow feels off, but if you change the tense it definitely works better. Also, I get where the "one tiny, little detail" comes from, but in this case it's out of place, seeing as, well, it's not a tiny detail. Rather, I think mentioning that it was overlooked would probably work better. your choice though!

I'd like to suggest a slight change to the premise though - what if you were right about to recognize their independence when an advisor comes to the realization that they hold the bulk of your nation's WMD reserves? I feel like this might work better if the implied context of the issue is "the consequences of legalizing secession, and what we should do to probably fix/limit it". Just an idea!

namely with a full-scale invasion of East @@ANIMAL@@land! From what intelligence told me, their soldiers are still hungover from celebrating their independence and the citizens walk around aimlessly with no idea as to what do with their freedom. If we strike quick, hard and without mercy, we'll have our sweet, radioactive poppers back in our hands before you can spell 'nuclear fallout'! Then, what's left of their little country can be returned to those vile traitors."

The way the speaker frames this is sort of weird - the minister wants to invade, which is reasonable( I suppose), but only to take back the WMDs and nothing else. Not only is that sort of strange( an invasion could be countered by the use of those WMDs, no? And I'm not sure that would be the best way to retrieve said WMDs), it feels like this sort of option would set up a precedent in which secession is countered by full-on invasions and annexations, since I think a "reversal" option may be warranted in this sort of situation. It's not like anyone wants to let these areas secede, or are keen to keep them independent. If you want to stay with the current framing of the option, I'd suggest toning down the speaker a bit.

"namely with" could probably do without the "namely", "from what intelligence told me" would flow better as "According to our intelligence/According to what we know" or some variant, and "their soldiers... and the citizens..." is pretty strange. I get what you're going for, but this is sort of bland and weird. Why would they have no idea what to do with their freedom? Surely their citizens wouldn't be walking around aimlessly. It's not exactly believable, even if the Minister is exaggerating. Also, "hard" doesn't work with "strike" imo, and that sentence could probably do without it.

posing in front of an arsenal of WMDs with a big, smug grin on @@HIS@@ face, the weapons all pointed in @@CAPITAL@@'s direction.

Is this over video, or are you meeting at the actual arsenal? Also, I'm not sure if the weapons would actually be pointed at @@CAPITAL@@, but hey, I'm no nuclear scientist

We could simply execute the secret detonation routine we had installed into the weapons, in case they'd fall into the wrong hands.

If the exact purpose of those routines is to stop this situation, shouldn't the issue be based around this? I feel like the issue would work better as a question of whether you decide to execute the routine or not, with speakers against the routine suggesting alternative routes to secure the WMDs. If this is the routine, after all, there really isn't a dilemma, even if there are known consequences - after all, those would've been discussed as the routine was implemented. (Also why I suggested the other idea, if you wanted to keep the same structure. Just realized that this still applies, though.)

[Australian rePublic]

Why are all WMDs located in one tiny geographic area to begin with? Unless nation js a city-state, that is?

[Westinor]

Why are all WMDs located in one tiny geographic area to begin with? Unless nation js a city-state, that is?

It would still be a problem if a large amount of your nuclear arsenal was held in that area. As I understand it, missile silos are more likely to be held in a strategic location, rather than being spread out. So it would make sense that a large amount of your nation's arsenal, even if it's not the entire supply, was held there.

[Daarwyrth]

Why are all WMDs located in one tiny geographic area to begin with? Unless nation js a city-state, that is?

East @@ANIMAL@@land holds the bulk of your country's WMD reserves.

As Westinor says it, such arsenals are frequently held in strategic locations. And there is even precedence in the real world, with how Ukraine held weapon reserves of the USSR, as Electrum described.

[Daarwyrth]

I'd like to suggest a slight change to the premise though - what if you were right about to recognize their independence when an advisor comes to the realization that they hold the bulk of your nation's WMD reserves? I feel like this might work better if the implied context of the issue is "the consequences of legalizing secession, and what we should do to probably fix/limit it". Just an idea!

In light of your feedback, I have rewritten the issue draft to be centered around East @@ANIMAL@@land being about to secede from @@NAME@@. I don't want to include a policy reversal in this issue though, as it would be the easy way out for nations who regretted their previous choice choices should have consequences, and I hope the current options reflect that intent.

I'd love to know what you (and others) think about the new draft!

[Westinor]

Yet during the ceremony of signing the declaration

"Yet" doesn't work here, "However" is probably better. I think the entire sentence could probably be reworded into

"However, right as you were about to formally approve the declaration, one of your aides burst into the room warning you of an overlooked factor - the bulk of the nation's WMD reserves lies in East @@ANIMAL@@land".

It's fairly simple and gets to the point. I don't like the "warning you of an overlooked factor" wording, that should probably be changed. But in general your current description sort of flies all over the place, mentioning little details that in isolation make the description humorous but combined create a chaotic image.

[Daarwyrth]

Yet during the ceremony of signing the declaration

"Yet" doesn't work here, "However" is probably better. I think the entire sentence could probably be reworded into

"However, right as you were about to formally approve the declaration, one of your aides burst into the room warning you of an overlooked factor - the bulk of the nation's WMD reserves lies in East @@ANIMAL@@land".

It's fairly simple and gets to the point. I don't like the "warning you of an overlooked factor" wording, that should probably be changed. But in general your current description sort of flies all over the place, mentioning little details that in isolation make the description humorous but combined create a chaotic image.

Done! I worked in your feedback and approached the aide bursting into the room in a hopefully amusing way I've added the bit about overlooking things into text of the Minister of Interior in option 1, so I'd love to know if this works!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Good idea, but I think the premise could be more concisely presented. For example:

[Description] With your government allowing provinces to secede, East @@ANIMAL@@land has declared its intention to become a sovereign state. However, that territory contains several military bases, as well as a good portion of your nuclear stockpile.

[Daarwyrth]

Good idea, but I think the premise could be more concisely presented. For example:

[Description] With your government allowing provinces to secede, East @@ANIMAL@@land has declared its intention to become a sovereign state. However, that territory contains several military bases, as well as a good portion of your nuclear stockpile.

Done! New draft with the shortened premise is up I have also tweaked the options a little bit, so they stay in line with the premise!

[Daarwyrth]

Any new feedback would be appreciated!

[Electrum]

Any new feedback would be appreciated!

This is shaping up to be a good draft. My one criticism would be if you could write better effect lines for options 1 and 3.

[Daarwyrth]

Any new feedback would be appreciated!

This is shaping up to be a good draft. My one criticism would be if you could write better effect lines for options 1 and 3.

Thank you, and done! Hopefully the current effect lines for 1 and 3 are better? If not, I'll try to come up with something else

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Yes, this is looking very solid now. Send it in whenever you're ready.

[Daarwyrth]

Yes, this is looking very solid now. Send it in whenever you're ready.

Thanks! I have submitted the issue just now, and wanted to thank everyone for their feedback and comments. Writing this issue has been... a blast ;P