[DRAFT] The Best Worst Film Ever

[Akragas]

Hi all, this is the first issue I've written in a while, heavily based on the story of a particular film... Excuse me (and please let me know) if there is overlap with anything already here. I would also ask for your kind contribution in maybe finding a catchier title. Here is the current draft after expanding the original a bit:

[title]The Best Worst Film Ever

[description] The recent @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ film "The Broom" has gained immense popularity due to its poor, nonsensical script and exaggerated performances, making crowds love the film for its unintended comedic aspect. Its notoriety has risen so high, that it has been recently chosen by @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to represent the country in the @@REGION@@ International Film Festival.

[validity] The nation has at least moderate culture and youth rebelliousness, no nudism

[choice 1] "Absolutely unthinkable!" exclaims your enraged Minister of Culture in a tasteful bespoke outfit. "This would be a public shame for @@NAME@@! People watch this film to laugh at how bad it is, and we would allow it to represent our nation's cultural wealth? We should be showcasing our cinematographic intricacy instead with fine art pieces such as the montage of otherworldly scenery in the avant-garde epic 1002: A @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Iliad."
[result 1] the Ministry of Culture may only approve a film produced in the country if deemed "high art"

[choice 2a, nation is socialist] "A laughable film about a broom or some degenerate bourgeois mockery? Is this what our glorious socialist nation has to offer in @@REGION@@?" interjects an annoyed Minister of Propaganda in full party uniform. "Our presence in an international contest can only be considered a success for the State if it furthers the socialist political cause –leave it to my commissars and we will prepare a masterpiece of appraisal for our Motherland!"
[result 2a] the only audience for @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ films are students in the mandatory Socialist Discourse class

[choice 2b, nation is capitalist] "A laughable film about a broom or some barely comprehensible balderdash? Is this what we have to offer in @@REGION@@?" interjects an annoyed Minister of Industrial Lobbyism in a sleek business suit. "Our presence in an international contest can only be considered a success for the country’s economy if it serves the interests of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ business –leave it to my marketing team and we will prepare a masterpiece integrating the Arts with products placement!"
[result 2a] international audiences watching @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ films are dismayed when the 3-hour ad session is not followed by an actual film

[choice 3] "I do not agree to my work being criticised in such harsh manners by bureaucrats devoid of any actual understanding of filmgoers" replies condescendingly @@ANIMAL@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, the infamous director of The Broom in his embroidered dressing gown. "The audience enjoys my film because it talks to their hearts through its nuanced, ironic black comedy. It meticulously reviews human life and universal values through the journey of the protagonist, a wooden utensil. And this is the kind of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ culture all people can relate with."
[result 3] the nation's movies are widely appreciated as international laughing stock

[choice 4] "Oh, we should definitely keep the film, but also pass our desired messages after some minor alterations…" says military researcher "Doc" @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Ludovico sardonically, in a suspiciously clean lab coat. "My newest experimental technique involves the insertion of brief hypnotising snippets combined with spraying of hallucinogenic substances into the air, followed by subliminal messages in the film’s dialogue and soundtrack… Oh yes, soon we’ll be able to turn a whole auditorium at once into ultra-violent agents of @@NAME@@ and then we–" @@HIS@@ own maniac laugh interrupts the sentence.
[result 4] the viewing of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ films is banned by most international conventions

[choice 5] "Maybe you people have taken this all too seriously for a simple submission to a film festival?" asks your severely overworked secretary in the same outfit as in the past 4 weeks. "Let's be honest here, people voted this movie as a jocular candidate. What's the worst that could happen if we send it as is? Our neighbours in @@REGION@@ will mention that one time @@NAME@@ had this very funny film, before eventually forgetting it entirely. What else could possibly happen, right?"
[result 5] every year @@POPULATION_VALUE@@ wooden brooms are thrown in cult film cinema screenings

[title]The Best Worst Film Ever

[description] The recent @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ film "The Broom" has gained immense popularity due to its poor, nonsensical script and exaggerated performances, making crowds love the film for its unintended comedic aspect. Its notoriety has risen so high, that it has been recently voted by @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to represent the country in the @@REGION@@ International Film Festival.

[validity] The nation has at least moderate culture and youth rebelliousness

[choice 1] "Absolutely unthinkable!" exclaims your enraged Minister of Culture in a very tasteful outfit. "This would be a public shame for @@NAME@@! People watch this film to laugh at how bad it is, and we would allow it to represent our nation's cultural wealth? Documentaries praising our land's wonders or dramatised stories of @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ heroes should instead be the showcase of our cinematographic intricacy for all in @@REGION@@ to see."
[result 1] the Ministry of Culture has the sole authority to approve any film produced in @@NAME@@

[choice 2] "I do not agree to my work being criticised in such harsh manners by bureaucrats devoid of the actual notion of art" replies @@ANIMAL@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, the infamous avant-garde director of the film in a condescending tone. "The audience enjoys The Broom because it talks to their hearts through its nuanced black comedy. It meticulously reviews human life and universal values through the journey of the protagonist, a wooden utensil. And this is the kind of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ culture we should aim to promote at every opportunity."
[result 2] the nation's movies are widely appreciated as international laughing stock

[choice 3] "Maybe you people have taken this too seriously?" asks your severely overworked and sleep-deprived secretary. "Let's be honest here, people voted this movie as a jocular candidate. What's the worst that could happen if we send it to the festival? Our neighbours in @@REGION@@ will mention that one time @@NAME@@ had this very funny film, before eventually forgetting it entirely. Can we move on now to the meeting about the overconsumption of hallucinogenic fish?"
[result 3] every year @@POPULATION_VALUE@@ wooden brooms are thrown in cult film cinema screenings

[Pythaga]

A couple grammar fixes for you:

should be instead the showcase

I think this is supposed to be "should instead be the showcase"

replies in a condescending tone the infamous avant-garde director of the film, @@ANIMAL@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@.

This sounds really off, "replies @@ANIMAL@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, the infamous avant-garde director of the film in a condescending tone." works a lot better in my opinion.

through the journey of the protagonist, a wooden utensil.

If by this you mean the broom, I'd reword it as I don't think that brooms are considered utensils, but tools.

@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ culture we should aim to promote with every opportunity".

The with should be replaced by an at. Also, the period should be inside the quotation marks.

@@REGION@@ neighbours will mention the one time

I think that "Our neighbours in @@REGION@@ will mention that one time" works better.

[Australian rePublic]

Why is this a leader problem?

[Akragas]

A couple grammar fixes for you:

should be instead the showcase

I think this is supposed to be "should instead be the showcase"

replies in a condescending tone the infamous avant-garde director of the film, @@ANIMAL@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@.

This sounds really off, "replies @@ANIMAL@@ @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@, the infamous avant-garde director of the film in a condescending tone." works a lot better in my opinion.

@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ culture we should aim to promote with every opportunity".

The with should be replaced by an at. Also, the period should be inside the quotation marks.

@@REGION@@ neighbours will mention the one time

I think that "Our neighbours in @@REGION@@ will mention that one time" works better.

Thanks a lot! Not a native speaker myself, I find such comments quite helpful

through the journey of the protagonist, a wooden utensil.

If by this you mean the broom, I'd reword it as I don't think that brooms are considered utensils, but tools.

I do mean the broom, but I phrased it that way to reference the IRL cult movie, the screenings of which are traditionally followed with the throwing of spoons at the screen (as evoked in the third result)... I was careful to consult the Cambridge Dictionary and find utensil defined as "a tool with a particular use, especially in a kitchen or house" which would definitely include a broom (though still remind of the intended spoon); if it seems too weak for the reference to work, please let me know

Why is this a leader problem?

Important international cultural event, people vote troll candidate, Minister of Culture vehemently opposes this but does not currently have the power to stop it; hence the Minister reaches out to Leader. I mean this certainly seems plausible, and if I'm not mistaken it's not unprecedented for example Eurovision submissions becoming "national" issues in European countries (as a very simple analogy).

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Right. There's a lot of soft power from cultural promotion. Franco's Spain in the 1960s, for example, put vast amounts of national money into trying to win Eurovision, in order to gain a platform to position itself as a legitimate and culturally relevant nation. When they managed to win then host in 1969, Austria voiced its disapproval by withdrawing.

As another example, the satirical film Borat massively shaped the way many people viewed Kazakhstan. Likewise, pretty much every government you can think of (including the USA) has had a hand in interfering with film production in order to try to create a more positive spin on their nation, or aspects of their nation. Actually, an issue based on Department of Defense meddling in Hollywood could be a really interesting one!

The cultural lenses through which the international community views your nation are very much government business.

tldr version: Carry on please!

[Minskiev]

I wouldn’t exactly call a broom an utensil. An utensil? Weird. Anyways, tool might work better. Cleaning tool, something like that.

[Akragas]

I am extremely grateful Candlewhisper Archive for your comments and historical examples, this is exactly what I had in mind!

Likewise, pretty much every government you can think of (including the USA) has had a hand in interfering with film production in order to try to create a more positive spin on their nation, or aspects of their nation. Actually, an issue based on Department of Defense meddling in Hollywood could be a really interesting one!
The cultural lenses through which the international community views your nation are very much government business.

In fact, based on this I thought about expanding the initial options a bit by adding two more: one straight up about promoting political/economic interests through this artistic medium, and one rather more extreme but based on a pop culture reference (the Ludovico Technique). I'm not sure if even an additional one about establishing the country's political legitimacy on some international issue (applicable to all nations) would fit, too, though that'd be probably heading in the direction of option inflation.

[Akragas]

Bumping and hoping to get some of your feedback for the latest draft with the altered options

[Ko-oren]

I'd phrase "voted by @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to represent" a little bit differently, because it sounds off if you actually replace the variable with a word ("voted by Maxtopians to represent"). Maybe "chosen" or "elected"?

Option 2 has a lot of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@, and it gets a little repetitive: why not 'is this what we have to offer', 'serves the interest of the free market', and 'furthers the socialist cause'?

Beware of using @@ANIMAL@@ in option 3, there's a lot of animals out there that make for terrible first names, as some use it to make fun of an enemy.

"says sardonically military researcher" and "air spraying of hallucinogenic substances" and "to ultra-violent agents" and "interrupting" should be "says military researcher [name] sardonically ...", "spraying hallucinogenic substances into the air", "into ultra-violent agents" (which I misread as ultraviolet the first time), and "interrupts".

[Akragas]

Thank you very much Ko-oren for the grammar and phrasing fixes! It is a weak spot of mine...

Any further suggestions will be much appreciated (particularly for the options themselves)

[Fauxia]

The problem with describing everyone’s clothing is that it doesn’t work for countries with nudism.

[Akragas]

The problem with describing everyone’s clothing is that it doesn’t work for countries with nudism.

Oh, thanks for pointing this out! I've included the descriptions mostly as an (admittedly not so original) technique to add some contrast to the different characters and am not entirely sure it's needed; I have added a validity exception for nudist countries for now, though

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Right now it seems too obvious to say that it's not the government's business, or is too trivial to matter.

Maybe make it more actively awful in some way -- portraying offensive stereotypes about the people of your country, or something like that. Again, I'm thinking Borat and Kazakhstan.

Hey, anyone remember this?

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2012/ ... stan-borat

[Trotterdam]

Borat wasn't made in Kazakhstan, though.

That makes #584 more applicable.