Draft 2: Cut out some stuff.
Yellowed Journalism
Validity: Must have autocracy and state-run media.
Description
All hail @@LEADER@@! As your radiant nation enters yet another glorious year, your infinitely dedicated and even more competently selected advisors are working hard to secure your further consolidation of power. A critical weapon will be the undeniably-correct state-run media, and the time has come for you to decide how your flawless government will wield it.
Option 1
"We must ensure that you forever hold the people's hearts and minds, not that there was any doubt to begin with," says your Minister of Truth, patriotically cutting failed Ministers out of official photographs with a pair of safety scissors. "You must be on the front page of every edition, and your heroic benevolence must be referenced in every article! Long live the @@TYPE@@!"
Effect: newspaper editors that don't use state-approved superlatives for describing @@LEADER@@ tend to disappear
Option 2
"A glorious regime is nothing without its unrivaled military might!" declares Supreme General @@RANDOMNAME@@, who's had your back since the beginning. "Undying trust in our armed forces begets undying trust in you. We must use our media apparatus to tell wonderful yet plausible and completely correct tales of our military triumphs in faraway lands and our soldiers' hourly heroism. Long live the @@TYPE@@!"
Effect: the nation won three wars with Brancaland this weekend
Option 3
"We should make our populace learn to love you, not fear you, even though no sane person would ever fear you," suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, a promising yet often confused Junior Minister. "If people are constantly reminded of the high standard of living the government provides for them, alongside the implementation of even more progressive social policies to back up the media, your rule will be seen as more legitimate than ever. Long live the @@TYPE@@!"
Effect: students spend the school year learning how great the education system is
Option 4
"Dare I say your guidance has proven so potent, that we no longer require the unnecessary burden of operating a state-run media," says former media tycoon @@RANDOMNAME@@, choosing @@HIS@@ words carefully. "With your divine blessing, reintroducing privately operated media will demonstrate to our eternally grateful people that you hear the voices of others, however flawed those voices may be compared to yours. Long live and all that."
Effect: calling @@LEADER@@ a tyrant is seen as the ultimate compliment
Option 5
"Have you all gone daft?!" screams an elderly advisor, smashing his fist on the table so hard that cracks are beginning to form. After taking a moment to compose himself, he continues, "The purpose of having a state-run media is to keep it impartial. If you allow the government to corrupt the media as its own mouthpiece, there's no point anymore! The media should remain publicly funded, but be given freedom to report as it chooses."
Effect: journalists who do nothing are praised for their lack of bias