NationStates

Hopefully it hits the humor mark without going too far off the reigns Let me know what you think! Feedback and criticism is always appreciated

[title] A Friend With Weed Is A Friend Indeed

[desc] Recent reports have revealed that drug cartels are supplying the poorer citizens in @@NAME@@ with food and supplies, currying favor among the masses and in turn making it much harder for the police to apprehend drug kingpins. Several encounters between locals and law enforcement officials on their way to arrest reported cartel members have escalated into full-on firefights, with nearly two dozen citizens and police officers dead and counting.
[validity] answered 1016.1/2(or however a war on drugs might be tracked, stat-wise or not), low poor incomes, has guns, capitalist

[option] "@@LEADER@@, these are our people," says militant weed manufacturer Ivana Smoke, who is rumored to run half of the black market operations in @@NAME@@. "We provide them with essentials that the government neglects, and in turn they shield us from unlawful prosecution. This war on drugs is getting you nowhere — your own citizens aren't even on your side! Cease this mindless carnage, and divert your security funds to places where they'll really help, like welfare and education. Stick with the disenfranchised and the poor, @@LEADER@@ — we are not the enemy.”
[effect] newly-educated children are awfully blunt with their parents

[option] "Hey! Quick, grab 'im!" orders Police Chief @@RANDOMNAME@@ as several security guards attempt to tackle the kingpin, who disappears in a cloud of strange-smelling smoke. "Gah, we'll get 'em next time! @@LEADER@@, we can't let our glorious @@TYPE@@ be tainted by these ghastly substances — if anything, we need to go harder on these criminals! Give us more funding, more individual autonomy, and allow us to arrest any civilian seen in league with these dastardly thugs! That'll show those high-in-the-sky idiots who's boss."
[effect] it's a crime just to be helped out
(alternative) charity distribution sites are regularly raided by the police

[option] "These people are doing ourrr own work for us!" exclaims your brother in extremely slurred speech as he takes a hit out of an impossibly large bong. "Let themm *hic* keep feeding them or whatever, and—" he doubles over and coughs several times, "We can focus on other stuff like—" he throws up on your shoes, "Tourism, or something. Isn't this a great opportunity to promote our sight-seeing induhstryyy? I'm sure people would looove to feed the pheasants. Or something. Haha!" He passes out on the floor.
[effect] bewildered tourists help drug kingpins hand out food to poor @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@

I’m really liking the title and the puns.

Effect line 1 calls it an extracurricular class. An extracurricular class is optional. I think replacing ‘extracurricular’ with ‘mandatory’ makes for a better line, and better aligns with what the option states.

Pythaga wrote:I’m really liking the title and the puns.

Effect line 1 calls it an extracurricular class. An extracurricular class is optional. I think replacing ‘extracurricular’ with ‘mandatory’ makes for a better line, and better aligns with what the option states.

Changed it, thanks!

Okay, cleaned it up a bit. The third option might be an eyesore, but I myself can't really tell if the interpretation of "slurred speech" works or not. Comments on that (and the rest of the draft ) would be great!

"Firefights" in the description means a nation must allow firearms in some capacity. Obviously, if they are banned or not, some criminal groups will get their hands on firearms, but they still shouldn't be common - especially if the common folk join in ("encounters between locals and law enforcement officials [...] have escalated into full-on firefights").

The speech in option 3 gets the point across, I feel.

I'm getting the feeling option 3 allows recreational drug use, as in, that's the point of the option. Am I correct?

Why would the guy in option 1 support more welfare? If the government gives welfare to the poor, the mafia loses their support

Ko-oren wrote:"Firefights" in the description means a nation must allow firearms in some capacity. Obviously, if they are banned or not, some criminal groups will get their hands on firearms, but they still shouldn't be common - especially if the common folk join in ("encounters between locals and law enforcement officials [...] have escalated into full-on firefights").

The speech in option 3 gets the point across, I feel.

I'm getting the feeling option 3 allows recreational drug use, as in, that's the point of the option. Am I correct?

Got it, edited.

Yep, it's basically letting the drug cartels do whatever they want.

Australian rePublic wrote:Why would the guy in option 1 support more welfare? If the government gives welfare to the poor, the mafia loses their support

Well, if the war on drugs ceases (as option 1 is basically trying to do), the cartels don't need "support" since they're a legal operation. If they became legal, the idea is that the government picks up the slack, since they now don't need so many funds in law enforcement, and the drug cartels can do their own thing.

EDIT: would that make this issue need the capitalism validity then, since that would be a private operation?

The mafia aren't necessarily in favor of legalizing what they do, either. You can charge a lot more selling illegal stuff on the black market than you could openly selling something that's easier to come by because it's legal.

Trotterdam wrote:The mafia aren't necessarily in favor of legalizing what they do, either. You can charge a lot more selling illegal stuff on the black market than you could openly selling something that's easier to come by because it's legal.

That's a good point, though I'm sure the cartels aren't very happy about the government trying to shut them down as a result of their practices being illegal. I'll remove the "legalize our practice", and have the first option be more along the lines of "leave us alone and focus on other things".

I'm not going to comment on the rest of the draft, but with regards to the title, you need to add a ? to delineate it as a topic of debate, rather than a declaratory endorsement of drug taking.

Good issue.

Is the title a deliberate reference to the song Pure Morning by Placebo, or is that coincidental?

Sanctaria wrote:I'm not going to comment on the rest of the draft, but with regards to the title, you need to add a ? to delineate it as a topic of debate, rather than a declaratory endorsement of drug taking.

Edited, thanks!

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Good issue.

Is the title a deliberate reference to the song Pure Morning by Placebo, or is that coincidental?

Purely coincidental, though looking at it that’s pretty interesting

Trotterdam wrote:The mafia aren't necessarily in favor of legalizing what they do, either. You can charge a lot more selling illegal stuff on the black market than you could openly selling something that's easier to come by because it's legal.

Not necasserily, it depends on what they're selling. If they're selling a black market version of what's already legal (say cigarettes) then the entire business model is based on selling things cheaper to compete against legitimate businesses

Description wrote:Recent reports have revealed that drug cartels are supplying the poorer citizens in @@NAME@@ with food and supplies,

What exactly do you mean by supplies? Are they basic living essentials in the same vein as food, or drugs/something else not immediately necessary for survival? Basically, are the cartels just doing the bare minimum to keep folks alive or are they going above and beyond in their offerings?

Pythaga wrote:

Description wrote:Recent reports have revealed that drug cartels are supplying the poorer citizens in @@NAME@@ with food and supplies,

What exactly do you mean by supplies? Are they basic living essentials in the same vein as food, or drugs/something else not immediately necessary for survival? Basically, are the cartels just doing the bare minimum to keep folks alive or are they going above and beyond in their offerings?

Water, clothes maybe, etc. I don't really know how I'd condense that, so I said supplies.

Westinor wrote:

Pythaga wrote:
What exactly do you mean by supplies? Are they basic living essentials in the same vein as food, or drugs/something else not immediately necessary for survival? Basically, are the cartels just doing the bare minimum to keep folks alive or are they going above and beyond in their offerings?

Water, clothes maybe, etc. I don't really know how I'd condense that, so I said supplies.

It doesn't especially matter, I was more curious about how much welfare would have to provide to be on par with the cabal if option 2 was chosen.

Pythaga wrote:

Westinor wrote:
Water, clothes maybe, etc. I don't really know how I'd condense that, so I said supplies.

It doesn't especially matter, I was more curious about how much welfare would have to provide to be on par with the cabal if option 2 was chosen.

Ah, alright. Well then, that then

Made a few minor edits to the first and second option. Feedback would be appreciated!

Effect lines all "pass" but none of them pop. #3 is the best, while #1 and #2 seem like effect lines I'd keep if I couldn't think of anything better, but where I'd really be trying to think of something better.

Don't take this as saying it's bad writing here. As a whole, the issue is strong, though. You're clearly on top of your game right now, and we're only talking the difference between great and wonderful.

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Effect lines all "pass" but none of them pop. #3 is the best, while #1 and #2 seem like effect lines I'd keep if I couldn't think of anything better, but where I'd really be trying to think of something better.

Don't take this as saying it's bad writing here. As a whole, the issue is strong, though. You're clearly on top of your game right now, and we're only talking the difference between great and wonderful.

Okay, I'll get to working on that too! Thanks!

I've updated the effect lines, hopefully they're better than before! I'm going to see if I can find a better one for Op3, but not sure as of right now.

Going to move this up to last call soon, if there aren't any other suggestions!

Er, came up with a new effect line for Op2 - I don't know if it exactly makes sense? Hopefully it's better?

Westinor wrote:Er, came up with a new effect line for Op2 - I don't know if it exactly makes sense? Hopefully it's better?

It doesn’t really make sense to me, but it could very well be an obvious pop-culture reference I’m missing.