[SUBMITTED] On the Right Track

[Daarwyrth]

CEO Melon Husk

Yaaasss!!! More Elon Musk caricatures!

With a little bit of creative tweaking, we could implement a suspended monorail system alongside the old public railway, which could streamline transportation routes and reduce environmental impact, while making smaller towns more accessible.

While a well-written, complex sentence, perhaps you could see if there is a way to split it in two. I love these kinds of sentences, but perhaps it will read a bit easier that way.

He promptly faints.

Does he faint because of the length of that long sentence, thus having a lack of oxygen? If so, then discard my earlier comment out the sentence length!

but now we know about the locusts beforehand!

Small nitpick, but this should be "but now we'll know about the locusts beforehand!", I believe

And I really don't think that thing with the milk is going to happen again.

I am not too sure about this sentence. Is it a specific reference or a clarification of why the prototype went boom? If the latter, then I admit it doesn't entirely land with me. Maybe it could be left out? The mentioning of the locusts seems enough!

Option 5: "Great SCOTT!" shouts Doc Maroon, falling through the ceiling. "@@LEADER@@, I've made a groundbreaking discovery that enables us to teleport molecules between two different points in space. If we can move a molecule, then surely we can move a traincar full of people, right?"

I love the inclusion of this option!

Overall, a great issue and I love that it is a joint project! Well done

[Jutsa]

I think we narrowed it down to Iron Rust, Efon Brusque, and Econ Must

[Issues Author]

Feedback implemented, bumping this.

[Issues Author]

The issue has been submitted.

While we have the intention to keep writing issues as a group, a lot of the collab authors have been busy lately so the project is largely on hold.

[USS Monitor]

I love your nation and I love the idea of team-writing an issue this way, but I don't think the problems that Trott and Drasnia raised were adequately addressed.

So a prototype failed. That's why you test prototypes before you build the whole system. A follow-up to building a maglev train should examine the consequences of using maglev trains, not just ask if you want to change your mind and build something else.

Having a prototype fail is not a problem specific to maglev trains. It could happen on any type of transit system, especially if you are using custom-built rolling stock or building new structures. You could be using steam trains, which are very easy and low-tech, and still have a prototype blow up because someone fucked up making the boiler or ran the engine too hot. You could go even more basic, order a fleet of mule carts, and still have the wheels fall off because the manufacturer cut corners and made them out of flimsy materials.

If a major infrastructure project suffers a setback, usually you would look at ways to fix it before you consider replacing it with a completely different project. For example, in Boston, the Big Dig was a project that moved a couple of major highways into underground tunnels to alleviate traffic congestion. Soon after the tunnels were opened to traffic, there was an accident where a piece of the roof collapsed on some cars. It was a scandal, there were lawsuits, etc. But they didn't go back the drawing board and start suggesting other ways to alleviate traffic. The conversation went straight to "How do we fix the tunnels and make them safe?" not "What else could we do instead of the Big Dig?"

An explosion of a prototype train doesn't strike me as an insurmountable "back to the drawing board" type of problem. It seems like more of a "fix this so it works right" type of problem.

[Jutsa]

I'm going to take that to mean we won't get hyperloops in any nationstates issues.

Honestly, we've genuinely worked the best we could to make the story work around the idea of planning out your nation's most significant high-speed railway network.
This was the only thing that marginally worked, unfortunately. And as to why IRL countries have investments in alternate systems,
I'm afraid is something that probably won't work in an NS issue if this doesn't suffice.
The problem is maglevs really don't have many significant issues, at least not anything that we could find on our own, I'm afraid.

I still stand by that not every single issue needs to have a striking story. But in the end, it's up to you folks whether or not you'd wish to work on it;
we tried to find the most interesting one with some amount of feasibility, and that in of itself was no small challenge.

But it's been our general consensus for months now that without anyone else buckling down and really saying "here's how we can make this work (better)",
this draft is as done as it's going to get in its drafting phase.

The project was still good fun and more than worth it. Rather a shame we all burned out after it, but between time constraints, and simply having chosen a difficult topic to work with
(which, in hindsight, would've been a thousand times easier if the issue's word "maglev" a) never existed or b) was realized to exist long before this project was started),
I think it'll be a little bit of time before another collab's participated by the lot of us.

I'd still like to thank everyone again who worked on or previously worked on this. It really was a ton of fun, which, for me, was really the point of working on this.
I really do hope to do it again some time soon, but again, I understand the constraints that hold even myself from doing so just yet.

[Honeydewistania]

[effect] double decker buses are outlawed

This line is funny

[Minskiev]

I think we narrowed it down to Iron Rust, Efon Brusque, and Econ Must

Don’t forget Seal-on Combust.

No feedback cuz it’s submitted :/

[Noahs Second Country]

Regardless of whether the issue was successful or not, it was definitely a fun project to work on. The whole idea of the issue was a bit flawed from the start, unfortunately, but I don't think we're discouraged by any means, just busy.

Second time's the charm though, obviously. We'll roll another issue out... eventually.

[Honeydewistania]

Regardless of whether the issue was successful or not, it was definitely a fun project to work on. The whole idea of the issue was a bit flawed from the start, unfortunately, but I don't think we're discouraged by any means, just busy.

Second time's the charm though, obviously. We'll roll another issue out... eventually.

We'll get back on track soon

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck!

[Minskiev]

Ah, love to see the formation of a GI elite. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s a social class higher than Czar

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck!

[Westinor]

Unfortunate to see this end this way, but this was definitely a fun project to work on and I hope that when everyone is ready again (or whoever else may be up for it) that we try again! (Wow, that was a confusing sentence, but you get the sentiment)

Honestly, we've genuinely worked the best we could to make the story work around the idea of planning out your nation's most significant high-speed railway network.

Yep, we'll at least probably have to wait a while to see Elton Dusk present his newest hyperloop model, but for now it appears we'll have to settle for maglevs and extremely slow trains

(which, in hindsight, would've been a thousand times easier if the issue's word "maglev" a) never existed or b) was realized to exist long before this project was started),

This. Praise be to Violet, this.

[Australian rePublic]

Good Luck

[Honeydewistania]

Good Luck

Good Luck!

Good Luck!

really gotta hammer in that point don’t ya

[The Marsupial Illuminati]

Nice to see a first-time author go through the drafting process and submit their first issue!