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[DRAFT] Ultra Violent Ultra-Violetist Hijack

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Minskiev
Diplomat
 
Posts: 927
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

[DRAFT] Ultra Violent Ultra-Violetist Hijack

Postby Minskiev » Mon Jun 29, 2020 5:22 pm

[title] Ultra Violent Ultra-Violetist Hijack

[validity] doesn’t have No Planes

[description] A group of Ultra-Violetists, part of a hateful Tasmanian extremist sect of Violetism, hijacked @@A@@ Air @@NAME@@ airplane carrying hundreds of innocent @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@. Unfortunately, an analysis of the plane’s flight trajectory has projected that the terrorists are heading straight for @@CAPITAL@@.

[option] Warning sirens start wailing, seemingly counting down to the demise of a sizable chunk of @@CAPITAL@@. “We’ve got two minutes until government operations as we know it cease to exist!” desperately screeches your Executive Transportation Actuary, @@RANDOMNAME@@, pacing back and forth. “That plane is going right towards the heart of the government, and we have to stop it immediately! Between a few brave casualties and thousands dead, not to mention the hundreds of MILLIONS of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ in damage, the former is the best option. We’ve got no choice, @@LEADER@@; blow up the plane.”

[effect] missiles are a new unexpected addition to trolley problems

[option] “I bet y’all 100 @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ that those damn nuns don’t do a damn thing with the damn plane,” declares your unusually patriotic Minister of Foreign Relations. “They don’t got the courage of a @@ANIMAL@@ flipped over, and they know it. They may kill a few hostages, but I know they ain’t gonna damn touch my damn city under my damn watch. Demand that they land the plane away from @@CAPITAL@@, and tell them that they’ve got the right to remain silent, cuz’ I know they’ll throw their hands up quicker than the Galliennais.”

[effect] the government feeds off of fear

[option] Your Minister of Apathy and Propaganda enters the bunker, with a chilling aura. “On the contrary, we could use this to our advantage. Here’s my government-certified 100% successful plan; we must send out a patriotic, morale-lifting message right before the plane hits @@CAPITAL@@, and then use that as a reason for war against the terrorist-shielding scum we know as Tasmania. My perfect @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ eyes can not detect a single problem with this plan,” @@HE@@ states with a proud, but monotonous and booming voice.

[effect] @@NAME@@ has a 47-winstreak against Tasmania


[title] Dying Cyans Turn Yellows Mellow

[validity] Capitalist, doesn’t have No Planes, some government spending on Social Policy

[description] The Cult of Cyan, an extreme mysterious cult that makes Violetism look like a elderly community, hijacked @@A@@ @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines airplane carrying hundreds of innocent @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@. Unfortunately, an analysis of the plane’s flight trajectory has projected that the terrorists are heading straight for @@CAPITAL@@.

[option] “Do you know how many people are on that plane?!” yells your Minister of Foreign Affairs, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while the businessmen stare at their premium @@ANIMAL@@ hide and suede shoes. “This will be a media nightmare! But, thank Our Creator that we still have media. Try to negotiate with the terrorists. Surely we could pull some money out of..I don’t know, Social Policy, and use it as ransom money, right?”

[effect] a common reply to extremist statements is “and how does that make you feel?”

[option] “Well, excuse me for inviting terrorists onboard!” quite poshly muses the CEO of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Aircraft, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while cleaning @@HIS@@ monocle. “Luckily, that was a Model 93 Flying @@ANIMAL@@, which has overridable controls. If our air control towers bring the plane to safety, you’ve got to subsidize us and give us a massive tax cut. Deal, or no deal?”

[effect] bored air traffic controllers make government-funded planes do barrel rolls

[option] “Why aren’t any of you worried about @@CAPITAL@@?!” screeches your Executive Transportation Actuary, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “That plane is going right towards the heart of the government, and we have to stop it immediately! Between hundreds dead plus one plane and thousands dead plus hundreds of MILLIONS of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ in damage, the latter is the best option. We’ve got no choice, @@LEADER@@; blow up the plane.”

[effect] missiles are a new unexpected addition to trolley problems

[validity] must not have No Marriage

[option] “NOO! My husband is on that plane, and you WILL NOT kill him!” wails @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, proclaimed wife to a hostage. “Please, you have to save them; surely you wouldn’t want innocent blood on your hands! Create an emergency landing zone for the plane! No, shoot the plane down! Wait no, don’t do that! Just, create a giant crash pad for the plane, and of course predict where the plane will land. Oh, what if we aren’t quick enough?” @@SHE@@ begins hyperventilating, until escorted out.

[effect] bouncy houses dot the perimeters of major cities

[validity] must have No Marriage

[option] “NOO! My brother is on that plane, and you WILL NOT kill him!” wails @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, proclaimed sister to a hostage. “Please, you have to save them; surely you wouldn’t want innocent blood on your hands! Create an emergency landing zone for the plane! No, shoot the plane down! Wait no, don’t do that! Just, create a giant crash pad for the plane, and of course predict where the plane will land. Oh, what if we aren’t quick enough?” @@SHE@@ begins hyperventilating, until escorted out.

[effect] bouncy houses dot the perimeters of major cities

[validity] must be secular, or not Violetist, but Violetism is legal

[option] “How dare those heresy-brimmed lunatics show of- I mean, kill those @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@!” bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, the High Grand Poobah of the Order of Violet, tilting @@HIS@@ head back so that @@HIS@@ phlox purple accordion top hat doesn’t fall off. “If @@NAME@@ becomes Violetist, I shall pray to Violet that the plane lands safely. However, you must stay Violetist, so we can cleanse @@NAME@@ of sin as well.”

[effect] @@LEADER@@ wears more purple than the King of Moltevino

sometimes adds policy “Theocracy”
sometimes removes policy “Atheism”

[validity] must be secular, or not Yellowist, but Violetism is illegal

[option] “How dare those heresy-brimmed lunatics kill those @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@!” calmly bellows @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, Her Jaundicedness of the Tranquility of Yellow, tilting @@HIS@@ head back so that @@HIS@@ mellow yellow top hat doesn’t fall off. “If @@NAME@@ becomes Yellowist, I shall pray to the Yellow One so the plane lands safely. However, you must stay Yellowist, so we can cleanse @@NAME@@ of sin as well.”

[effect] government interns call @@LEADER@@ ‘The Lemon’ behind their back

sometimes adds policy “Theocracy”
sometimes removes policy “Atheism”

[option] “Don’t you fools realize it’s too late?” diabolically asks @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the Great Big Cyantressmis of the Cult of Cyan, from what looks like an underground holy Cyanist banana-munching temple. “Our Cyanites have infiltrated every level of your infidel government, and it’s far too late to stop us. If you want us to let the plane go, you must make every first-born son in @@NAME@@ sacrifice themselves to the Big Cyan, unless you want a thousand dragons belching cyan fire upon your infantile @@TYPE@@. Submit, or you blasphemers shall be tortured forever in Big Cyan’s Left Butthole!”

[effect] kids whose favorite color isn’t cyan get burned at the stake

removes policy “Theocracy”
removes policy “Atheism”


[title] Helicopter High Priests Hijack Heinously

[validity] Capitalist, doesn’t have No Planes, some government spending on Social Policy

[description] The Holy Helicopter Order of @@NAME@@, an extremist anti-plane group who want helicopters to be the sole mode of air transportation, shall go down in infamy, as it has hijacked @@A@@ @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines airplane carrying many important @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ diplomats and ambassadors. However, an analysis of the plane’s flight trajectory has projected that the terrorists are heading straight for @@CAPITAL@@.

[option] “Do you know how many diplomats and ambassadors are on that plane?!” yells your Minister of Foreign Affairs, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while the businessmen stare at their premium @@ANIMAL@@ hide and suede shoes. “This is a diplomatic nightmare! But, thank Violet that it’s still diplomatic. Try to negotiate with the terrorists. Surely we could pull some money out of..I don’t know, Social Policy, and use it as ransom money, right?”

[effect] a common reply to extremist statements is “and how does that make you feel?”

[option] “Well, excuse me for inviting terrorists onboard!” quite poshly muses the CEO of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Aircraft, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while cleaning @@HIS@@ monocle. “We’re...going under, and given more government funding, we could have prevented all those deaths, because @@CAPITAL@@ is lost, let’s face it. Also, we’d like a tax cut.”

[effect] terrorists only strike when the plane lands

[option] “Why aren’t any of you actually worried about @@CAPITAL@@?!” screeches your Executive Transportation Actuary, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “That plane is going right towards the heart of the government, and we have to stop it immediately! Between hundreds dead plus one plane and thousands dead plus hundreds of MILLIONS of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ in damage, the latter is the best option. We’ve got no choice, @@LEADER@@; blow up the plane.”

[effect] missiles are a new unexpected addition to trolley problems

[validity] must not have No Marriage

[option] “NOO! My husband is on that plane, and you WILL NOT kill him!” wails @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, proclaimed wife of a diplomat to Tasmania. “Please, you have to save them; surely you wouldn’t want innocent blood on your hands! Send in your best agents as soon as possible! No, create an emergency landing zone for the plane! No, shoot the plane down! Wait no, don’t do that! Just, create a giant crash pad for the plane, and of course predict where the plane will land. Oh, what if we aren’t quick enough?” @@SHE@@ begins hyperventilating, until escorted out.

[effect] bouncy houses dot the perimeters of major cities

[validity] must have No Marriage

[option] “NOO! My brother is on that plane, and you WILL NOT kill him!” wails @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, proclaimed sister to a diplomat to Tasmania. “Please, you have to save them; surely you wouldn’t want innocent blood on your hands! Send in your best agents as soon as possible! No, create an emergency landing zone for the plane! No, shoot the plane down! Wait no, don’t do that! Just, create a giant crash pad for the plane, and of course predict where the plane will land. Oh, what if we aren’t quick enough?” @@SHE@@ begins hyperventilating, until escorted out.

[effect] bouncy houses dot the perimeters of major cities

[validity] must have religious tolerance

[option] “My fellow brothers and sisters have begun the Great Conversion!” for the first time ever rejoices @@RANDOMNAME_3@@, a freshly visible druid of the Holy Helicopter Order, as your guards are startled by @@RANDOMNAME_3@@‘s sudden entrance. “You laugh at us now, but Zaskmotora the Omnipotent, the Bane of Planes, shall return! @@HIS@@ two serpent heads shall devour you and send you all into eternal darkness, for not believing! All hail Zaskmotora, the Helicopter Purist, the All-Seeing! Burn the ceremonial rotor blades! Sacrifice the sons of @@NAME@@‘s pilots!”

[effect] high priests say Zaskmotora is “just in traffic“

removes policy “Theocracy”


[title] Planefully Obvious

[validity] Capitalist, doesn’t have No Planes

[description] As a result of Lilliputia sneaking in flight attendants offering to work for lower wages, many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ diplomats and ambassadors returning from political summits have been harassed, bullied, and even mugged. The airline, @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines, took the deals to cut expenses, as it was running out of business to keep such a good image to be government-favored.

[option] “Do you know how many flight attendants those pesky Lilliputians have snuck in?!” yells your Minister of Foreign Affairs, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while the businessmen stare at their premium @@ANIMAL@@ hide and suede shoes. “If it weren’t for those greedy pigs in the three-piece suits cutting costs, those innocent @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ wouldn’t have been treated so terribly! Hell, an ambassador was flipped off and mooned! I vote we tighten the hiring requirements so @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines and other unpatriotic airlines only pump out their finest workers! For a better @@NAME@@! Hey, that sounded good. Write that down, please.”

[effect] flight attendants’ boyfriends no longer want your first class seat

[option] “What in my 300 million @@CURRENCY@@ toothbrush happened to economic freedom?” quite poshly asks the CEO of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while cleaning @@HIS@@ monocle and simultaneously slipping a fat wad of cash into your back pocket. “It’s just business, plane and simple. It’s not like we wanted those people to be harassed, but life happens, and you just have to deal with that. Perhaps if you lower the hiring requirements, and possibly even the minimum wages, we could make more money...to then increase the hiring requirements and wages, of course. Also, we’d like a tax cut.”

[effect] the air marshals are identifiable as the ones with @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ accents

[option] “That’s complete and utter @@ANIMAL@@ crap!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Leftism, while throwing a fit in front of you. “Sorry if my temper flew off the handle a little, but giving private companies any freedom will always result in this corporate greed! Power to the people! Let’s get rid of private transportation, to end this madness! First privatization, and then the minds of the workers! AHAHAHAHA!” @@HE@@ cackles, until dragged out of your office by the CEO’s security guards.

[effect] anyone sitting on the right aisle of planes is arrested

[option] “Calm down everyone, you need to be way more rational.” states your Minister of Rational Solutions, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “What if we institute higher hiring requirements for transportation, but we also subsidize the airlines? Only the ones I-, I mean we, like, of course. So none of those awful airlines from Dàguó. I will not tolerate Dàguó Airlines longer! No more Dàguó Airlines!” @@HE@@ takes a pause, then continues. “Doesn’t that sound lovely?”

[effect] airlines strive to become the government favorite

[option] “Why do we need such shenanigans like planes anyways?” asks your supposedly dead grandpa. “Why do we even need money wastefully poured into transportation when seniors like me need it? I say we transfer lots of transportation funding directly into Senior Welfare. Most of us will get to enjoy it, anyways.”

[effect] seniors fare well with extensive welfare

Policy “No Planes” is added.


[title] Planefully Obvious

[validity] Capitalist, doesn’t have No Planes

[description] Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ diplomats and ambassadors returning from political summits have been harassed by Lilliputian flight attendants against their policies, since Lilliputia snuck in flight attendants offering to work for lower wages. The airline, @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines, took those deals to reduce expenses. Businessmen and ministers have found your office to be the perfect spot to solve the issue.

[option] “Do you know how many flight attendants those pesky Lilliputians have snuck in?!” yells your Minister of Foreign Affairs, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while the businessmen stare at their premium @@ANIMAL@@ hide and suede shoes. “If it weren’t for those greedy pigs in the three-piece suits cutting costs, those innocent @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ wouldn’t have been treated so terribly! Hell, an ambassador was flipped off and mooned! I vote we tighten the hiring requirements so @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines and other unpatriotic airlines only pump out their finest workers! For a better @@NAME@@! Hey, that sounded good. Write that down, please.”

[effect] flight attendants’ boyfriends no longer want your first class seat

[option] “What in my 300 million @@CURRENCY@@ toothbrush happened to economic freedom?” quite poshly asks the CEO of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while cleaning @@HIS@@ monocle and simultaneously slipping a fat wad of cash into your back pocket. “It’s just business, plane and simple. It’s not like we wanted those people to be harassed, but life happens, and you just have to deal with that. Perhaps if you lower the hiring requirements, and possibly even the minimum wages, we could make more money...to then increase the hiring requirements and wages, of course. Also, we’d like a tax cut.”

[effect] the air marshals are identifiable as the ones with @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ accents

[option] “That’s complete and utter @@ANIMAL@@ crap!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Leftism, while throwing a fit in front of you. “Sorry if my temper flew off the handle a little, but giving private companies any freedom will always result in this corporate greed! Power to the people! Let’s get rid of private transportation, to end this madness! First privatization, and then the minds of the workers! AHAHAHAHA!” @@HE@@ cackles, until dragged out of your office by the CEO’s security guards.

[effect] anyone sitting on the right aisle of planes is arrested

[option] “Calm down everyone, you need to be way more rational.” states your Minister of Rational Solutions, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “What if we institute higher hiring requirements for transportation, but we also subsidize the airlines? Only the ones I-, I mean we, like, of course. So none of those awful airlines from Dàguó. I will not tolerate Dàguó Airlines longer! No more Dàguó Airlines!” @@HE@@ takes a pause, then continues. “Doesn’t that sound lovely?”

[effect] airlines strive to become the government favorite

[option] “Why do we need such shenanigans like planes anyways?” asks your supposedly dead grandpa. “Why do we even need money wastefully poured into transportation when seniors like me need it? I say we transfer lots of transportation funding directly into Senior Welfare. Most of us will get to enjoy it, anyways.”

[effect] seniors fare well with extensive welfare

Policy “No Planes” is added.


[title] Planefully Obvious

[validity] Capitalist, doesn’t have No Planes

[description] Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ diplomats and ambassadors returning from political summits have been harassed by flight attendants, due to the flight attendants’ stances against their policies, due to their aggressive upbringing in their homeland of Lilliputia, due to Lilliputia’s aggressive nature, due to the founder’s aggressive nature, due to the founder’s mother having one too many beers, and so many Lilliputian mothers become drunk, so many Lilliputians gain aggressive natures, because Lilliputia gained an aggressive nature, which obviously caused Lilliputia to sneak in their flight attendants offering to work for lower wages. The airline, @@DEMONYM@@ Airlines, took those deals to reduce expenses. Businessmen and ministers have found your office to be the perfect spot to solve the issue.

[option] “Do you know how many flight attendants those pesky Lilliputians have snuck in?!” yells your Minister of Foreign Affairs, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while the businessmen stare at their premium @@ANIMAL@@ hide and suede shoes. “If it weren’t for those greedy pigs in the three-piece suits cutting costs, those innocent @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ wouldn’t have been treated so terribly! Hell, an ambassador was flipped off and mooned! I vote we tighten the hiring requirements so @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines and other unpatriotic airlines only pump out their finest workers! For a better @@NAME@@!”

[effect] flight attendants’ boyfriends no longer want your first class seat

[option] “What in my 300 million @@CURRENCY@@ toothbrush happened to economic freedom?” asks the CEO of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines, @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, while cleaning @@HIS@@ monocle and simultaneously slipping a fat wad of cash into your back pocket. “It’s not like we wanted those people to be harassed, but life happens, and you just have to deal with that. Perhaps if you lower the hiring requirements, and possibly even the minimum wages, we could make more money...to then increase the hiring requirements and wages, of course. Also, we’d like a tax cut.”

[effect] the air marshals are identifiable as the ones with @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ accents

[option] “That’s complete and utter @@ANIMAL@@ crap!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Leftism, while throwing a fit in front of you. “Giving private companies any freedom will always result in this corporate greed! Power to the people! Let’s get rid of private transportation, to end this madness! First privatization, and then the minds of the workers! AHAHAHAHA!” @@HE@@ cackles, until dragged out of your office by the CEO’s security guards.

[effect] anyone sitting on the right aisle of planes is arrested

[option] “Calm down everyone, you need to be way more rational.” states your Minister of Rational Solutions, James Rational. “What if we institute higher hiring requirements for transportation, but we also subsidize the airlines? Only the ones I-, I mean we, like, of course. So none of those awful airlines from Dàguó. I will not tolerate Dàguó Airlines longer! No more Dàguó Airlines!” @@HE@@ takes a pause, then continues. “Doesn’t that sound lovely?” @@HE@@ asks, as @@HIS@@ girlfriend, Rosa Lovely, nods @@HER@@ head.

[effect] airlines strive to become the government favorite

[option] “Why do we need such shenanigans like planes anyways?” asks your supposedly dead grandpa. “Why do we even need money wastefully poured into transportation when seniors like me need it? I say we transfer lots of transportation funding directly into Senior Welfare. Most of us will get to enjoy it, anyways.”

[effect] seniors fare well with extensive welfare

Policy “No Planes” is added.


[title] Planefully Obvious

[validity] Capitalist, doesn’t have No Planes

[description] Many @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ diplomats and ambassadors returning from political summits have been harassed by flight attendants opposed to their decisions at the meeting, due to Lilliputia sneaking in their flight attendants offering to work for lower wages. The airline, @@DEMONYM@@ Airlines, has taken these deals, to reduce expenses. Businessmen and ministers have found your office to be the perfect spot to solve the issue.

[option] “Do you know how many flight attendants those pesky Lilliputians have snuck in?!” yells your Minister of Foreign Affairs, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while the businessmen stare at their leather shoes. “If it weren’t for those greedy pigs in the three-piece suits cutting costs, those innocent @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ wouldn’t have been treated so terribly! I vote we tighten the hiring requirements so @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines and other unpatriotic airlines only pump out their finest workers! For a better @@NAME@@!”

[effect] flight attendants’ boyfriends no longer want your first class seat

[option] “What happened to economic freedom?” asks the CEO of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Airlines, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while wiping @@HIS@@ monocle. “It’s not like we wanted those people to be harassed, but life happens, and you just have to deal with that. Perhaps if you lower the hiring requirements, and possibly even the minimum wages, we could make more money...to then increase the hiring requirements and wages, of course. Also, we’d like a tax cut.”

[effect] the air marshals are identifiable as the ones with @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ accents

[option] “That’s complete and utter @@ANIMAL@@ crap!” screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Leftism, while throwing a fit in front of you. “Giving private companies any freedom will always result in this corporate greed! Power to the people! Let’s get rid of private transportation, to end this madness! First privatization, and then the minds of the workers! AHAHAHAHA!” @@HE@@ cackles, until dragged out of your office by the CEO’s security guards.

[effect] anyone sitting on the right aisle of planes is arrested

[option] “Calm down everyone, I have a solution.” states @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Mediocre Solutions. “What if we institute higher hiring requirements for transportation, but we also subsidize the airlines? Only the ones I-, I mean we, like, of course. So none of those awful airlines from Dàguó. I will not tolerate Dàguó Airlines longer! No more Dàguó Airlines!” @@HE@@ takes a pause, then continues. “Doesn’t that sound lovely?”

[effect] airlines strive to become the government favorite

[option] “Why do we need such shenanigans like planes anyways?” asks your grandpa. “Why do we even need money wastefully poured into transportation when seniors like me need it? I say we transfer lots of transportation funding directly into Senior Welfare. Most of us will get to enjoy it, anyways.”

[effect] seniors fare well with extensive welfare

Policy “No Planes” is added.


[title] Plane and Simple

[validity] Capitalist, doesn’t have No Planes

[description] A great tragedy has occurred, as many @@DENONYM@@ diplomats and ambassadors lost their lives in a plane crash, due to a cut corner in the plane production process by the private company, @@DENONYM@@ Airlines, to reduce expenses. Businessmen and ministers have found your office to be the perfect spot to solve the issue.

[option] “Do you know how many families I’ve had to notify and apologize to today?!” yells your Minister of Foreign Affairs, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while the businessmen stare at their leather shoes. “If it weren’t for those greedy pigs in the three-piece suits cutting costs, those innocent @@DENONYMPLURAL@@ wouldn’t have died! I vote we seize @@DENONYM@@ Airlines and any other heartless airline to the government, to guarantee safety, and so I get free sea- I mean, for the fallen diplomats and ambassadors, of course.”

[effect] the daily airport delay count quadruples

[option] “What happened to economic freedom?” asks the CEO of @@DENONYM@@ Airlines, @@RANDOMNAME@@, while wiping @@HIS@@ monocle. “It’s not like we wanted those innocent people to die, but life happens, and you just have to deal with that. Perhaps if you remove the safety codes, we could make more money...to then increase the safety, of course. Also, we’d like a tax cut.”

[effect] airlines are introducing convertible airplanes for double the price

[option] “That’s complete and utter @@ANIMAL@@ crap!” screams your Minister of Leftism, while throwing a fit in front of you. “Giving private companies any freedom will always result in this corporate greed! Power to the people! Let’s get rid of private transportation, to end this madness! First privatization, and then the minds of the workers! AHAHAHAHA!” @@HE@@ cackles, until dragged out of your office by the CEO’s security guards.

[effect] anyone sitting on the right aisle of planes is arrested

[option] “Calm down everyone, I have a solution.” states your Minister of Mediocre Solutions. “What if we install major safety checks on all transportation, but we also subsidize the airlines? Only the ones I-, I mean we, like, of course. So none of that awful JetLiteBlue. And only serve my favorite snacks, and drinks. And first class needs my permission. What? Oh fine, the last two I could be okay without. But I will not tolerate JetLiteBlue any longer! No more JetLiteBlue! Doesn’t that sound lovely?”

[effect] airlines strive to become the government favorite

[option] “Why do we need such shenanigans like planes anyways?” asks your grandpa. “Why do we even need money wastefully poured into transportation when seniors like me need it? I say we transfer lots of transportation funding directly into Senior Welfare. Most of us will get to enjoy it, anyways.”

[effect] private jet sales tank, as none want or can afford it

Policy “No Planes” is added.
Last edited by Minskiev on Thu Aug 06, 2020 12:46 pm, edited 99 times in total.
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Westinor
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 474
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:05 pm

Title overlap with #1279
Authorship - Things I've written!

Stay safe, wear a mask, and have a great day! :)

User avatar
Minskiev
Diplomat
 
Posts: 927
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:08 pm

Thanks! Any suggestions?
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

Most recent best F7 reply:

User avatar
Westinor
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 474
Founded: Feb 15, 2020
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:31 pm

I might in a bit - researching other possible overlaps with issues, seeing as many issues deal with plane conditions and this issue is just a difference in the premise. Will try to see if I can have something up by the end of today, but I'm also in the middle of something so I haven't had a good read through.
Authorship - Things I've written!

Stay safe, wear a mask, and have a great day! :)

User avatar
Minskiev
Diplomat
 
Posts: 927
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:39 pm

Alright, then. Anyone else suggest a title?
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:12 pm

Yeah, looks like I wasn't able to come up with a title :/ Not the greatest at that, sorry :p

As far as the issue goes, it needs to move away from the "fix the quality of planes" to a different direction, perhaps PR or security. The premise is that planes are in bad shape, which is (though presented in a different premise) exactly the same as #747. If you choose navigation errors, that's also covered in the Nail domino effect issue, though it could work. There's potential with this issue, particularly international outrage over the deaths of foreign citizens (which could be worked in) or perhaps in the lack of personnel in the State cabinet for @@NAME@@ to function. Either way, I think it needs to shift direction seeing as plane issues often deal with the same problem.
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:21 pm

Minskiev wrote:[people] lost their lives in a plane crash, due to a cut corner in the plane production process by the private company, @@DENONYM@@ Airlines, to reduce expenses

What "cut corner?" We already have one issue (#324) centred around some mystery fuckup that causes huge embarrassment to your government.

This sounds like it should be an issue about engineering/construction standards by plane manufacturing companies, not how much government regulation should be applied to the airlines that buy those planes.
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Minskiev
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Postby Minskiev » Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:31 pm

Alright, I will edit the issue to be less airline based and more aircraft manufacturing based. Also, what do you mean by PR? It’s past midnight, so I hope you understand.

New title, new draft!
Last edited by Minskiev on Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
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Postby Tinhampton » Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:55 pm

Minskiev wrote:what do you mean by PR? It’s past midnight, so I hope you understand.

Public relations. "Planefully" is supposed to be a corruption of some word, but I don't know which one.

RE validity: is there a difference between "doesn't have No Planes," "must not have no planes," and "must have planes?"
Last edited by Tinhampton on Mon Jun 29, 2020 10:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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A: SC#267, Repeal "Liberate The East Pacific" (90%)

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Mon Jun 29, 2020 10:27 pm

Minskiev wrote:Alright, I will edit the issue to be less airline based and more aircraft manufacturing based. Also, what do you mean by PR? It’s past midnight, so I hope you understand.

New title, new draft!


Like your new title! PR = public relations. Also, I don't quite understand your current iteration of option 4. Are planes funded by the government? If so, shouldn't there be some sort of business subsidization requirement, and the effect line of that option should relate in some way to the implementation of senior welfare (which sounds like it's just social security).
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Postby Minskiev » Tue Jun 30, 2020 7:44 am

Oh, didn’t realize subsidizing requirements were a thing. I’ll get onto that, once I find proper formatting for it. Or, you could just tell me. The last change will go in.

Tinhampton wrote:
Minskiev wrote:what do you mean by PR? It’s past midnight, so I hope you understand.

Public relations. "Planefully" is supposed to be a corruption of some word, but I don't know which one.

RE validity: is there a difference between "doesn't have No Planes," "must not have no planes," and "must have planes?"


I think you’re looking for painfully ;D

Also, since ‘No Planes’ is a policy, but ‘Planes’ isn’t, I figured mentioning the policy would be better. But grammatically, no, they all mean the same thing.
Last edited by Minskiev on Tue Jun 30, 2020 7:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Postby Minskiev » Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:16 pm

Not sure if double posting on my thread is something I should be worried about, but I’m thinking of making a version for quality, PR, and security. I’d like you all to tell me which version you like best, if you will. Thanks!
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Westinor
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Postby Westinor » Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:55 pm

Minskiev wrote:Not sure if double posting on my thread is something I should be worried about, but I’m thinking of making a version for quality, PR, and security. I’d like you all to tell me which version you like best, if you will. Thanks!


I wouldn't worry about it, but that's just me. I think quality can be mixed in to the idea of manufacturing, whereas PR and security sort of fit in on their own terms.
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Postby Minskiev » Wed Jul 01, 2020 6:54 am

Alright, first option to reach 5 votes is picked. Vote now!
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Postby Minskiev » Wed Jul 01, 2020 9:27 pm

/bump?
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Minskiev
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Postby Minskiev » Sat Jul 04, 2020 7:57 pm

/bump

I have returned!
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:32 pm

Why were all these diplomats travelling in the same aircraft?
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Minskiev
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Postby Minskiev » Sun Jul 05, 2020 8:51 pm

Well, they were going to the same destination, and it’s not like that there were THAT many of them. Thus, same aircraft.

Hmm..were they going to the same destination? Well, with the security one, it doesn’t really matter, and for the quality one, there was only one crash. But, with the flight attendants, there definitely were several planes, but it’s not unlikely that many planes were...exposed? So, I don’t really see your point.
Last edited by Minskiev on Sun Jul 05, 2020 8:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Minskiev
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Postby Minskiev » Mon Jul 06, 2020 7:17 am

Alright just realized I spelt all demonyms as denomym. Also, I added adjective to make sure that it was correct for nations with different demonyms than demonym adjectives.
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:40 am

I think before you can draw any constructive feedback you need to decide for yourself what your issue premise is, and present just ONE draft.

Broadly though, I think "there's been a plane crash" isn't sufficient for an issue in the current issue base.

Issue 970 (which I self-edited) is an issue of that sorts, admittedly, but was mostly constructed as a play on the "for want of a nail" proverb: without that kookiness it wouldn't have been interesting enough to fly as an issue.

Issue 418, as another comparison point, is also an issue that asks "crash happens, what you going to do?", but realises that's not enough to make an issue, so adds in some narrative about slow emergency responses.

That's what you need to do here -- find the additional dimension to your story, so it's not just about responding to a plane crash.
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Trotterdam
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Postby Trotterdam » Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:09 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Issue 970 (which I self-edited) is an issue of that sorts, admittedly, but was mostly constructed as a play on the "for want of a nail" proverb: without that kookiness it wouldn't have been interesting enough to fly as an issue.
Pun intended?

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Candlewhisper Archive
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Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 08, 2020 2:32 am

Trotterdam wrote:
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Issue 970 (which I self-edited) is an issue of that sorts, admittedly, but was mostly constructed as a play on the "for want of a nail" proverb: without that kookiness it wouldn't have been interesting enough to fly as an issue.
Pun intended?


Yep. :blush:
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Minskiev
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Postby Minskiev » Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:59 am

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:I think before you can draw any constructive feedback you need to decide for yourself what your issue premise is, and present just ONE draft.

Broadly though, I think "there's been a plane crash" isn't sufficient for an issue in the current issue base.

Issue 970 (which I self-edited) is an issue of that sorts, admittedly, but was mostly constructed as a play on the "for want of a nail" proverb: without that kookiness it wouldn't have been interesting enough to fly as an issue.

Issue 418, as another comparison point, is also an issue that asks "crash happens, what you going to do?", but realises that's not enough to make an issue, so adds in some narrative about slow emergency responses.

That's what you need to do here -- find the additional dimension to your story, so it's not just about responding to a plane crash.


That’s exactly what the poll is for. I got suggestions on the direction of the issue, then tailored the issue versions to the best I could come up with using each direction, and asked people to choose one. However, it seems like the version concerning a plane crash isn’t the most popular one, and it doesn’t seem to be original, so I might discard it. Thanks for helping me narrow it down!
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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Drasnia
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Founded: Feb 02, 2012
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Postby Drasnia » Wed Jul 08, 2020 11:15 am

I haven't read any of your drafts or voted in the poll. Currently, you're asking us to read three separate drafts just to be able to give good feedback, which is an onerous obligation. A three draft poll is just stupid and reduces the amount of helpful and constructive criticism you're looking for. It's self-defeating.

Be decisive. Narrow it down to one issue and then go from there.

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Minskiev
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Founded: Apr 20, 2020
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Postby Minskiev » Wed Jul 08, 2020 11:26 am

Well in one vote it’s going to be narrowed-down, and it’s not like they’re wildly different drafts. I also fix many of my own mistakes here. This isn’t some hands-free bs I’m pulling.
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

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